I just realised, people specifically waiting for intimate stuff. Well, you got to wait a while. This is a veeeeeeery slow burn.
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When she woke up she had no clue as to where she was at first. She yawned and turned to her side in the soft comfortable spot, and was hit by reality as pain came crashing through her body. She let out a groan and opened her eyes. All of her limbs where feeling stiff and hurt, and her head still bumped as well. The silence around her was broken by light footsteps coming closer. Aziraphale walked up to her. "Good morning dear. I hope you slept well? I assume you are not feeling great so you don't have to worry about needing to go anywhere. I will take care of you." he said gentle.
Samantha looked up at the angel with a slight smile. A black snake hung around his neck and she quickly realised it must be Crowley. "I did sleep quite nice, waking up was less nice though. I am feeling very stiff. Thank you for the offer and care."
Aziraphale nodded. "Certainly dear. You must be hungry. What did you have in mind for breakfast?"
Samantha hummed. "What do you have?"
"Anything you'd like", said the angel with a mild amused chuckle and it took Samantha a moment before realising why he was amused.
"Oh of course. Silly me.", she said ashamed.
"Don't worry dear. I cannot expect you to grasp every concept of having an angel in your area right away. Or even remember it at all times. Even I tend to forget I can miracle a problem away, or at least get myself a solution to it."
Crowley let out a snort now and the angel glanced at him. "Oh hush you silly serpent. You have no right of laughing at me. You make the same mistakes."
Samantha laughed softly and thought about breakfast. "What about a simple croissant with cheese and some earl grey tea?" she asked eventually.
Aziraphale miracled a silver tray for her with what she had asked and put it on the coffee table in front of the couch. "There you go dearie. Is there anything else I can get you?"
"Thank you Aziraphale. And I can't think of anything right now." She slowly tried sitting up.
"Take your time." the angel added as he observed her shortly, before deciding to take a chair and going to sit on the other side of the coffee table. He watched her eat in silence for a while.
Samantha glanced at Aziraphale and Crowley and thought for a while, while silently munching on her croissant. When she was done she took a sip of her tea and looked at Aziraphale. "So, an angel and a demon. Is that even allowed? And how did it even happen?" she asked curiously.
Crowley let out a soft laugh. "Of courssse it isssn't allowed. In fact we went through a lot of trouble to be left alone asss it isss right now. We had to perform a rather clever and tricky manoeuvre for them to finally ditch usss."
Aziraphale nodded. "That is true."
Samantha was curious now. "What did you guys do then? And who are 'they'?"
"They are the higher authorities." explained Aziraphale. For me that is Gabriel and for Crowley that is Beelzebub. They are our leaders, so to speak."
"Were", corrected Crowley.
"Indeed. Were." agreed Aziraphale. "You see we have been on earth since the very beginning. Since the Garden of Eden, to be a little more precise."
Crowley let out an annoyed, groaning hiss. "Pleassse don't get thisss going from the very beginning angel."
Aziraphale huffed. "I certainly will. She asked for the full explanation, she will get the full explanation. And if you don't want to listen you'll have to go and slither somewhere else."
Crowley muttered but stayed where he was, and Samantha was amused by the two.
"Anyhow", continued Aziraphale. "As I said. Eden. I was put on apple tree duty. I am sure you know the story. And...." Crowley interrupted Aziraphale.
"Long ssstory ssshort. Aziraphale sssucked at hisss job, I tempted the firssst humansss out of Eden and then we firssst talked. He sssaid he had given hisss flaming sssword away, I thought he wasss an idiot for doing that and wasss inssstantly attracted to hisss dumb asss.", Crowley said.
Aziraphale was slight annoyed by the interruption, but he sighed. "That is roughly what happened."
Samantha listened amazed. "Wow... so.... Wait how fucking old does that make you two?"
"We are over 6000 yearsss old by now." Hissed Crowley.
Samantha's mouth opened half in amazement. She quickly realised it though and closed it again, swallowing. "Well then I guess you two have quite some history together."
Aziraphale nodded. "We do, but sometimes there were hundreds of years between our meetings. First we met mainly on chance though. But as the world progressed, we noticed we had quite a lot in common. For example the people upstairs and below didn't really check up on us, at all. And we began to enjoy the earth quite a lot. We grew fond of it. But no other soul but the two of us experienced the world like we did. So obviously we started hanging out occasionally. We had to take care not to be spotted together though. We were still sworn enemies."
"Of courssse we had feelingsss for each other." continued Crowley. "But we alwaysss pushed them away. Ignoring them, not underssstanding them sssometimes, too."
Aziraphale sighed and nodded. "It was out of the question for a demon and an angel to be fraternizing with each other. So we never did. Because we pushed away our feelings, we eventually forgot to recognise them. It was only when the Antichrist was put on earth things started to shift again."
"The Antichrist?" Samantha asked. "But, if he is on earth, doesn't that mean that Armageddon...."
"We averted it.", explained Aziraphale proudly. "And it is the reason we are now being left alone. Please allow us to explain."
Samantha nodded. Go ahead.
"Well then", the angel went on. "We both realised we didn't want the world to end. Of course we knew we had been working towards it, but we didn't actually wish for the whole planet to die."
"Ssso we made a compromissse." hissed the demon. "We would work together to try and avert it."
Aziraphale nodded. "Eventually it didn't work out the way we had intentionally hoped it would and there were a lot of inconveniences, but we did manage to get it done. Earth was saved. There wouldn't be a war between heaven and hell. And of course, they were furious about it. They wished to see us dead."
"Becaussse thanks to usss, they couldn't go on with their childisssh fight to sssee what ssside would be better." Added Crowley.
There was a pause and Samantha hummed. "Then how did you manage to flee your trial? How did you make them so scared they leave you alone now?"
Aziraphale smiled slight excited. "We came up with a simple but daring plan. We knew we would be killed by a trail of holy water and hellfire, because that is the only way to effectively kill a demon and an angel, so we did the most daring exchange trick of the world. We changed bodies. Mind you we didn't know if it was going to work. If a normal demon and angel would do that, their bodies would just discorporate on the spot, because they wouldn't be able to handle the switch of energy. But we took the gamble that we had been close to each other long enough for the trick to work. And it did. It worked beautifully. We were able to copy our behaviour well enough to fool both parties." said Aziraphale with a proud shimmer in his eyes.
"We managed to make them think we had gone native. That we had become immune becaussse we had become neither of the two. They became ssscared and have left usss alone sssince."
Samantha was impressed. "What a trick. But I understand why you did it. You had nothing to lose anymore anyway."
"Indeed", said Aziraphale. "But they are still out for our death and I am sure they are still trying to figure out a way to kill us. So we still don't show our affection in public. And that is why we need you to stay silent."
Samantha nodded seriously. "I see the importance. I swear I won't speak about this with a soul. This is way too important. I wouldn't want the death of an angel and a demon blamed on me."
"Thank you dear." Aziraphale smiled relieved at her. "It is good to hear you understand it."
"There is.... Still just one more thing. How did you two break through your barrier of blocked emotions?"
Aziraphale sighed. "That was and still is a hard process. It involved a night in which we really realised how far our newfound freedom stretched."
"It alssso involved an ssshitload of alcohol." Added Crowley.
Samantha snorted. "Of course it did. Well I am glad you two can be yourself a little bit more now. And I guess I'll stop asking questions for now, before it starts to annoy a certain demon.
"That isss a very sssplendid idea. You aren't asss ignorant ass you look." said the demon, slightly teasing.
Samantha rolled her eyes. "Thanks."
Aziraphale miracle the plate and empty cup away now and got up. "Is there anything else you need?"
Samantha thought for a bit. "Well if I won't be able to move around much... could you perhaps provide me with some entertainment? A book or two would be fine."
Aziraphale seemed reluctant. He loved his books very much and wasn't fond of anyone touching them, even though he was running a bookshop. But he also didn't want to be rude. "Uhm... Yes my dear. What type of literature do you like?"
"A lot. From art to history to fantasy. I have been on a basic art school though, so hamlet won't do, because I have had to read that one already."
Aziraphale nodded and went to walk around to pick out a few books. Being very careful not to pick books he was very fond of.
Crowley noticed it and grinned. "C'mon angel. They are just booksss. By the way ssshe doesn't ssstrike me asss the book destroying type."
"Yet still", sighed Aziraphale. "What if she is a corner folder? Or what if she is a person who keeps the book open so widely the cover cracks. Or what if she stains it? Oh dear."
"Jussst give her a few booksss and watch what happensss. I am sssure it won't be that bad." said Crowley plainly.
The angel nodded and has picked out a small stack he thought she might like, bringing them over to her and carefully placing them on the coffee table. "Here you go dearie. Please be careful with them. I am very fond of my collection. Every one of them."
"Oh. Then I will be extra careful." She said with a smile. "I don't want to be a pain to have around after all. Thank you."
Aziraphale seemed a bit relieved at that. "Oh, why thank you. Enjoy your books. And you know it, you may call at any time if you need anything."
Samantha smiled and nodded. She watched Aziraphale walk away and observed him for a little while as he went to inspect his books and dust where needed. Then she looked at the pile of books and picked one she liked. Carefully she shifted to a more comfortable position and she went to read.
It was silent for a long time in the shop. The only sound was of Aziraphale calmly walking around with a feathery dust mop. Going over the books and shelves, occasionally rearranging a few of them.
Eventually Crowley got bored of just hanging around his neck and decided to tease a bit. He slowly lifted his head and rubbed it past the angel's jawline.
Aziraphale smiled mild at the feeling of the snake's cool skin against his cheek. He had grown slightly accustomed to it because Crowley did it more often lately and found he actually quite enjoyed the texture of the snakeskin.
Crowley slowly moved up and let his serpent tongue shoot out, ticking the angel s neck. Then he moved further up and let it tickle the angel's ear.
Aziraphale made a slight jump now and shivered, Goosebumps in his neck. "Please stop that you teasing serpent. You give me the shivers." he said slightly annoyed.
Crowley grinned and moved his head until it was almost touching the angel's nose. His tongue tickled his nose now once. "Fine. But you don't know what you are missing out on." he said softly.
The angel let out a soft chuckle and booped the snakes head with the duster. The demon shook his head and grinned now, then decided to go down. But instead of his normal slither downwards, he slyly decided to make his way through the angel's jacket, to pop out on the bottom of it.
Aziraphale squirmed and shivered on feeling him slither over his back, jerking a bit. "Crowley!" he squeaked. "Get out of there this instant you madman!"
Crowley only laughed as he got out now and turned to his regular shape. Then he placed his slender arms around the angel's chest, hugging him from behind and placing his head on his shoulder. "Is my angel being quite sensitive today? Oh dear. I cannot say I am sorry though. I way too much enjoy seeing you like this." He cooed.
The angel let out a slight insulted mutter, not knowing where to go with himself. He glanced at Crowley with the idea of giving him a good word and to put him into place, but he was thrown off guard yet again as the demon placed a tender kiss on his lips. "You look so adorable, all flustered like that." Said Crowley gentle and proceeded to place a few gentle kisses on the angel's soft red cheek.
Aziraphale let out a soft chuckle now when he realised this was all the stupid demon was after. Then he brushed the duster over Crowley's nose again. "You old tricky thing. You know exactly what to do to make me feel spooky like this." he said with a soft look on his face.
The demon chuckled back and nuzzled him.
Samantha softly heard them chat and chuckle and glanced at them through some bookshelves with a slight smile on her face. They really were cute together and she was glad they were able to be together after all that happened and all they told about. She let out a soft relaxed sigh. The air of the bookshop smelled pleasant. Of old paper, wood and some kind of sweet scent from a scented candle Aziraphale probably lit. It was a nice atmosphere. Looking at the two she decided to check their aura again. She clearly recognised the aura's as an angel and a demon now. Aziraphale even had a little halo hovering above his head and their wings were almost visible. She took good notes of them, in case she was ever to encounter other supernatural beings. And who knew after all the two had told, she might be able to warn them for unwelcome spies or something.
The two cuddled for a bit. Crowley hung lazily around Aziraphale while the angel went on dusting, till Crowley got bored. He separated himself from Aziraphale and walked across the shop to a very vintage looking radio. He pushed some buttons and turned it on, then messed with another button until he got a clear reception. BBC 2 was having 80s hour and Bon Jovi's Livin on a prayer sounded happily though the bookshop. Crowley's mood seemed to brighten a little bit and he murmured with the lyrics.
Aziraphale looked up and grinned. "Well dear, you are living on my prayer for a start." he joked.
"Oh shut up.", grinned Crowley.
Aziraphale chuckled, then glanced at Samantha. "You don't mind the music, do you?"
She shook her head. "Oh no not at all. To be honest this is exactly my type of music. I am quite enjoying myself." she smiled.
"Oh why that is very good to hear." said the angel with a beaming smile. Then he went on with his books.
The music went on for a little while, then the news came up. ***Now we are back with the BBC news of 11:30. There is still no further evidence of what exactly happened yesterday on the plaza of the Marble Arch. Rescuers are trying to find their way through the rubble of the deep crater that has been created in the middle of the plaza and that has caused half of the Arch to collapse. The hole is said to be more than 50 meters across. It is still unsure how many people....*** with a gesture of his hand Aziraphale turned the radio off.
"I want none of that horrible event in my bookshop today." he muttered. "We saw it happen ourselves for Christ's sake. That was bad enough." He now glanced over at Samantha who had begun to look quite pale and seemed to breath heavy. "Oh my. Samantha are you feeling all right?"
Upon hearing the news Samantha had somehow gotten a flashback of the exact moment of the accident and seemed to remember more of it now. The smoke, fire, screams of horrified and hurt people, the pain in her body before she blacked out. It all came rushing back to her and she had a hard time trying to calm herself. She begun to hyperventilate as tears formed in the corners of her eyes.
Aziraphale quickly went at her and sat on the couch, pulling her half against him and placing a hand on her forehead, hushing her. "There, there dear. Please calm down, it is all over. You are safe here." he said softly.
Crowley turned away from the window and swiftly came closer too, miracling a plastic back where she could breathe in and handing it to her. "Breath in this. It'll help."
Samantha grabbed the bag and did as told, trying to calm herself down. She felt Aziraphale softly washing his calm blessed energy over her. It helped her a great lot and she started to think clear again.
"We should avoid the news programs the coming days it seems." muttered Crowley as he kneeled beside the couch to be on their level.
Aziraphale nodded in agreement. "That sounds like a splendid idea. I'll simply put up some of my own music if you don't mind."
"I wouldn't mind at all." said Crowley with a shrug. He then looked over at Samantha, who was calming down now again.
She looked up at the others and saw Aziraphale's worried looks, then she ashamed looked down. "S-sorry", she stuttered.
"Ohw dearie. Don't be." said Aziraphale softly while she stroked her head to calm her further.
"Yeah 's not your fault y'know.", agreed Crowley.
Aziraphale nodded. "It is very normal for humans to get a panic attack when they have experienced something as dramatic as this. And a news message about said dramatic experience is a very easy way to start one."
"Still I don't want to be of more trouble to you as I already am..." she muttered to the floor.
"Don't be silly. It is good to have a little distraction." joked Crowley. "It was getting boring already. Good thing you fell into our lives. Now we have something new to talk about."
Aziraphale looked disapproving at the demon, but Samantha giggled. "Well I can imagine that. If you have been on earth for 6000 years it must be nice to have a distraction every once in a while. And since my life is so short and unimportant in comparison to yours, I am honoured to be a part of it."
"Wait, you are honoured?" said Crowley and he blinked startled. "Why would you be? We are just an angel and a demon who don't even belong to either side anymore."
"I know you aren't", said Samantha thoughtfully. "But you did say you chose earth. That means you two are the guarding angel and guarding demon of this world. Which also means I am now talking to probably the only two reasons why humanity is still alive, and will be for a long while to come. You are the reason this planet and its people still exist. That's quite the honour, right?"
Aziraphale and Crowley fell silent and looked at each other in awe. They had never realised this was exactly what their new life meant and that this was exactly what they were doing. Even though the two were mainly just messing around with each other, they were also helping or meddling with humans, steering them in their ways. Guiding... Guarding. For them, it was like a few more puzzle pieces fell into place. Crowley backed off and stumbled over the coffee table, having to steady himself against a bookshelf. Aziraphale on the other hand let out a soft "oh" and his eyes went wide. He placed a hand against his cheek. "Oh.", he exclaimed again and he glanced at Samantha, who observed the two curiously and a bit amused. "That... That actually makes a lot of sense... How did we... How have we never realised this?"
"How incredibly dense are we?" hissed Crowley softly.
"Seemingly quite if it had to be a human girl who had to tell this to you", giggled Samantha.
"Oh my it seems like we are." said Aziraphale ashamed.
"Also", said Crowley thinking. "Guardian angel sounds fine, but guardian demon? Is that even a thing?"
"It is now. You can make up your own rules now I guess. Right?" asked Samantha.
Aziraphale nodded. "You are quite right there my dear." He thought a bit, reflecting on this newfound information. "Crowley and Aziraphale. Celestial guardians of humanity. That has a nice ring to it don't you think?"
"Sure does angel", nodded Crowley.
"I feel quite important again now. It's a weird feeling." said Aziraphale and he seemed nervous. There was a weird tingle in his body. One he got when he got very nervous, like something was going to happen. "I am not sure if I like this."
Crowley sighed and he sauntered back up to the couch, then he squeezed himself beside Aziraphale upon it, so Samantha was nearly pushed off. She squeaked softly, mainly because everything in her body still hurt.
Aziraphale spotted it and frowned. "Sorry my dear. Crowley be a little more careful please."
"Sure." said the demon apologetic. "I just wanted to comfort you angel. Ya don't have to be nervous. We're together, right? As long as we are together we can face anything. And it is not like anything will really change. I mean, haven't we been doing this for the past 6000 years?"
Aziraphale thought for a bit. "Hmm.", he hummed. "I guess you got a point there. We have been at all the major happenings of the human race after all. And we have always stood by them."
"So", said Crowley cheerful now. "Doesn't that mean we have something to celebrate? I would say we get your best bottle of wine of Châteauneuf-du-Pape and settle down for a good drink hmm?"
Aziraphale seemed to light up at that thought, then thought of something and glanced at Samantha. "From which age was it humans were allowed to drink?" he asked.
"Meeeeh it'll be fine angel!" blurted Crowley before Samantha could answer. "I guess she is past 12 years old so it is okay."
Samantha laughed. "Crowley we don't live in the 60s anymore. The age for drinking is 18 nowadays. But it is still fine. I am 24 years old. I have had quite some time do gain experience. And living in a small town with not a lot to do, you'll have enough opportunity to do so."
Aziraphale calmed down at this and he stood up, then he looked from her to Crowley. "But I have to ask you Crowley, mind how much you drink. We don't want anything to happen to our dear guest and I don't know how comfortable she will be with a drunk demon in the area." He now turned his head to her. "Though he is quite harmless and gentle when drunk."
Samantha smiled. "I believe I will be fine as long as you are around as well Aziraphale. But thanks for your kind warning words."
Crowley muttered a bit about Aziraphale's comments towards him, but didn't go against him. He went sauntering to the back of the shop, where they normally drunk.
Aziraphale watched him go, then looked at Samantha and realised she wouldn't really be able to walk there. Then he got an idea. "Samantha?" he asked with a kind smile. "I am wanting to miracle you to the back of the shop where we usually go for a drink, since you are in no condition to walk. Are you okay with that? It doesn't hurt, but you might feel a little dizzy."
Samantha nodded and was secretly quite excited about that. "Go ahead. I am quite adventurous. And I trust from an angel it won't harm me"
Aziraphale smiled kind, then with a soft wave of his hand miracled her to the couch in the back.
Samantha felt a tingle in her belly and for a second she thought she was floating through space, then with a squeak she was sitting on the couch and looked directly at the slender legs of the demon who had just walked in.
Crowley frowned, then cocked his head to call at Aziraphale. "Hey angel! Next time give a heads up before you decide to leave your human on the spot I just wanted to go and sit! Might be a little awkward otherwise!" he called teasingly, then he looked back at her and showed a sly grin. "Or you must be into that. Then I wouldn't mind." he showed a seducing smirk.
Samantha had to shiver and she felt herself blush. The presence of the demon was alluring and pressing. It was a feeling that made her feel like she had to do things she normally wouldn't. With a little effort she managed to pull her gaze away from the demon. She heard him laugh cool and she muttered.
Aziraphale came in now and looked at the scene. "Crowley", he said with a frown. "Must you do that? She is utterly defenceless as it is against our being on its own. As for the miracle, I will try to mind that."
Samantha felt better now the angel was in the room too. The two had a strong energy hanging around them and it balanced out when they were together in the same space. She wondered if they had let go of their cover completely, or if they were still holding back some of their energy because she was in the place too. She suspected she was soon to find out, if the alcohol they had been talking about would come into play.
The demon miracle three glasses on the table and the angel miracle the wine. Crowley took it upon himself to pour in the wine, taking the first glass himself and handing the second glass to Aziraphale, but not before teasing a bit and having Aziraphale actively come and get it. The angel let out a soft, amused whine before he was finally able to get a hold of his glass. "You teasing demon", he chuckled.
Crowley showed a teasing look, then handed the last glass to Samantha. He wanted to put the bottle on the table when Samantha stuck out her hand to it. "May I read what it is?"
Crowley nodded and handed her the bottle.
She curiously took it and read the description, then gave it back to Crowley, who now put it on the table. "Seems expensive", she noted.
Aziraphale nodded and took a sip. "It is my dear. Quite so. I managed to save quite a lot of them from an old wine producer when his house went up in flames. With the help of a certain demon.", he showed Crowley a thankful smile.
Crowley hummed and took a sip too, sinking down on a big chair near the table. "Meh, t'was nothing. I got the profit as well. Quite a lot of it. A deal for a deal."
Samantha took a sip now as well and was pleasantly surprised. Normally she didn't like red wine as much, but this one she did. "Wow.", she said surprised. "That is a very good one."
The two laughed amused at her. "We know." said Aziraphale with a knowing smile. "We drink it almost every week."
"Almost every week?" asked Samantha. "But, what do you do here then? Just drinking and getting yourself drunk?"
Crowley shook his head. "Nah. Drinking is just an easy way for us to get philosophical real fast. And it's a good way to kill time. Often we sober up quickly too. We aint pure alcoholics if you thought so. We just enjoy the taste."
She nodded. "I think I understand. What are the things you talk about then?"
The demon and angel exchanged a look.
"Everything.", answered Aziraphale. "From how fish brains work to how far a brick stone is shipped before it goes into a building. Often our conversations go absolutely nowhere and make no sense at all."
"Sometimes they do though." added Crowley. "And sometimes the most genius ideas start here in this room. Like the deal we made to work together to watch the antichrist and make sure he wouldn't grow up particularly bad nor good, just neutral."
"And did that work?" asked Samantha.
"It probably would have", answered Aziraphale ashamed. "Hadn't it been the fact we had been watching over the wrong kid for 11 years because of a displacement of the antichrist." he sighed.
"How does that even happen?" Samantha frowned.
"It took a good long time before we had figured that out as well." admitted Crowley. "Stupidest thing is, I was one of the pins in the displacement. But there was no way I could have known. Apparently there were two couples having a child with the same features, and the occult nuns who were responsible for the switch did some shit wrong. Not my fault." He took another big sip of his wine.
Samantha had to giggle now. "So you spend 11 years watching over the wrong lad? What a bummer that must have been when you found out."
Aziraphale let out a nervous chuckle. "It was quite stupid, yes."
Eventually all three were laughing about how stupid it had been and begun theorising how it could have gone well. From one subject came another, and from one glass wine came another too. Of course Samantha couldn't drink as much as the angel and demon, who of course had many more years of practice and weren't human, but she knew to keep her limit. They spend the whole afternoon and evening drinking, talking and laughing. At some point they realised Samantha had to eat and Aziraphale miracled a dinner for her, though he had to make at least 4 attempts before he had it right as tipsy as he was. Even after and during her dinner they went on with talking and they had a lot of fun doing so, until Samantha dozed off on the couch, exhausted but satisfied.
Aziraphale and Crowley decided to sober up and leave her in the back room to sleep for the night, leaving her nicely tucked in with a pillow and blanket.