Jess staggered through the door, her steps faltering over the slight dip in the hallway floor. She tiptoed as quietly as possible, despite the tripping over god knows what cluttering her path. With her back turned, she came to an abrupt halt, closing her eyes briefly as a wave of realization washed over her, she wasn't alone, internally kicking herself for not coming in through her bedroom window.
As she turned around slowly to face the entire gang, all up at three in the morning. "Hey guys" she muttered, forcing a sweet smile that was only met with blank stares. "Okay, well I'll be off to bed now. So goodnight." She declared with a tight smile, turning to make her way up the stairs and cringing at the uncomfortable silence that lingered.
"Jess get your ass back here right now." Darry ordered, firmly. She paused in her tracks, fully aware that she had no choice but to comply. Even in her state she knew that there was no point in ignoring him.
She gave her brother her usual manipulative look in hopes for some sympathy. She knew that if anyone would go easy on her, it would be him. "Soda." She whined, her slurred speech not doing much to help her appear sober. He only responded with a sarcastic smile before dropping his expression into a frown. Jess quickly realised that charm wasn't going to get her out of it this time and shot a glare in his direction, dropping the manipulative facade that she did too well.
She turned her head to look at Darry with a cold, impatient expression. "Jesus Christ. What do you want? I'm tired," she huffed, her head pounding and a sickening urge to vomit creeping up on her.
"Jess man, what's goin' on?" Dal spoke up. The emotion she picked up in his voice shook her, she was fairly sure that he despised her. Struggling to stand, she leaned against the wall and kicked off her heels.
"No. You don't get to talk to me like you care." She whispered, bitterly.
"You shouldn't be going out in a dress that short, Jess. You'll get jumped," Two-Bit mumbled.
"I don't have a father, Two-Bit, and I don't fucking need one," she snapped without a second of hesitation.
"That was uncalled for." Darry spat and she looked up at him, her heart sinking as she met his gaze. "Jessica, do you understand how worried all of us have been?" His use of her full name added a layer of heaviness to the already tense atmosphere.
"No one calls me Jessica. Only Mom." She snapped, her outburst hung heavily in the room, she cast a glance back at Soda, realising only then that his face was smeared with dried blood, a massive bruise covering his left cheek.
"Soda, what happened?" she whispered, genuine worry etched across her face. She knew exactly what had happened, and a heavy sense of dread settled in the pit of her stomach. Though she hadn't physically harmed her brother, she knew it all came down to her.
"You fucked a Soc, Jess, that's what happened," Johnny mumbled, shoving past her and walking out the door. She had slept with Bob, the Soc who had beat Johnny, scarring him forever.
Jess knew she had fucked up , and the weight of it hung heavily upon her. The sight of the disappointment on everyone's faces broke her heart, even though she refused to show it.
"Yeah, well, I have to say, Bob wasn't too bad in bed," she muttered under her breath, a smirk forming on her lips. She hesitated as soon as she realized what she had said, fully aware that she was in for it.
Darry stood from his seat, at this point fuming. "How could you!" he screamed, his face contorted with rage. Jess had known this confrontation was inevitable. "You do realize the reason your brother's face is so fucked is because of you . Because as per usual you were screwing everyone you set your eyes on. You're nothing but a selfish, thoughtless mess, right now Jess!" He spat his words out in disgust. The last sentence stung, and she gulped. Darry stared at her , devoid of any remorse, as he watched his sister's shoulders slump, the weight of her actions sinking in.
"What could I possibly have to do with Soda getting into a scrap?" She murmured, although she was painfully aware of the numerous things she had done that could lead to Soda getting into a fight. "I can't help it if he gets himself into stupid situations."
As she glanced up, she met Soda's eyes, and the look in them sent a pang of instant regret through her.
Darry scoffed and shook his head as he prodded his finger into her face. "Do you actually have any humanity in there at all, Jess? Do you have any remorse going through your fucking brain right now?" he questioned.
"No," she answered simply, her gaze cold as she held eye contact with him. The way he looked at her seemed as though he was barely holding back his anger from hitting her.
"I haven't done anything wrong," she stated calmly, but the tremor in her voice betrayed her unease as she noticed sniggers from everyone in the room, intensifying her discomfort. Darry took an angry, deep breath before continuing his rant.
"Okay, well, how about the sleeping around? The drugs, the countless times we've all had to bail you out of jail?" Darry shot back, his anger only growing. "Just to name a few." He was right, and deep down, she knew it. But she felt drained and was ready to pass out, overwhelmed by a growing sense of self-loathing.
"Right, well, I'm done with this conversation. Goodnight, boys," she called out, her voice tinged with frustration and exhaustion, before turning on her heel to stumble her way up the stairs.
Before she could leave the room, a hand wrapped tightly around her wrist, pulling her back harshly. She yanked her wrist free, wincing as she looked at the slightly red mark left behind. "Darry, that hurt," she muttered, her voice a mixture of irritation and discomfort.
"I couldn't care less if it hurt. No more special treatment, stop running away from your problems. You don't get to run this time, Jess." Darry's voice resounded forcefully in her ears, his frustration obvious. Before she could react, her own hand shot straight to her face, fingers pressing firmly into her temples as she tried to alleviate the agonizing pain that had settled in her head.
"Look, we're just worried about you, Jess! You need to tell us what's going on," Steve finally spoke, with Two-Bit nodding his head in agreement.
Jess sighed, her voice barely above a whisper. "Well, you don't need to worry, I'm fine. I swear to you, I'm fine, Steve." The skeptical looks from everyone in the room were hard to ignore.
"You are clearly not fine, Jess," Darry's voice boomed once more, cutting through the throbbing pain in her head. "Look, we love you, okay? We do." His expression softened, filled with concern, and Jess felt a surge of frustration, she didn't need or want their concern.
"Well, that's too fucking bad because I don't love you back. I don't love anyone," she lied, her words laced with bitterness. Darry sighed heavily and sank back into his chair.
"I really just don't know how to fucking handle you," he whispered under his breath, his frustration evident in every line of his face.
"Oh, I'm so sorry that I add to your stress, Darry," Jess retorted with bitterness, her voice laced with sarcasm. "We all know it would be easier for everyone if I were thrown in a girls' home, less of a burden for you. I know you miss mom and dad, but honestly, I really don't see a difference, seeing how they ignored me for the majority of my life that they happened to be alive for."
Tears welled up in her eyes as she finished speaking, and she bit her lip hard in an attempt not to cry. The room fell into a heavy silence, the weight of her words hanging heavily in the air.
"No, actually, it's funny," she continued, her voice trembling. "See, nothing changes. It's always been me. Every single time it's been me being yelled at, me being accused." She could feel a lifetime of frustration, anger, and sadness threatening to show.
"Yeah, because you're the only one fucking up everyone's lives!" Darry retorted, his anger flaring once more. The room fell into another tense silence, Jess and her brother locking eyes, the bitterness between them evident in their expressions.
Soda eventually broke the silence, his voice gentle but tinged with hurt. "You're not a burden, Jess." His softened expression showed concern for her, but beneath it lay the unmistakable pain she had caused. "Why? Why are you doing this? We don't understand." He spoke for all of them, trying to find answers.
"No one cares about me, none of you!" Jess screamed, her voice filled with anger. The numbness that had come with the drugs had worn off, and she felt real emotion for the first time in a long time. "I sleep around because it's easy money and the small amount of love I can seem to get-."
"Money?" Darry's voice shook loudly, speaking for everyone, Dallas looked like he was on the verge of being sick, but it was nothing compared to the look of utter horror in her brother's eyes. It sent a chill down her spine.
"I have nothing to lose, I might as well fully numb my torment through drugs," Jess confessed, her voice heavy with exhaustion. "And I get into pointless fights and do stupid shit because it's the only fun I can even get around this place!"
The room remained silent, everyone's eyes fixed on her. No one spoke, but their looks conveyed a mixture of pity and disgust that Jess didn't want to see. She couldn't bear to witness their judgment any longer.
"Now that's what you wanted," she whispered, her voice cracking with vulnerability. Without waiting for a response, she turned on her heel for the third time, making her way to her room. A couple of tears fell down her face, which she was determined to hide.
Yet again, she felt her arm being yanked back it wasn't for confrontation. Instead, she found herself pulled into Dallas' chest. She struggled against it, but realizing it was getting her no where, a small sob broke free.
She stopped struggling as he wrapped his arms around her. In that moment, she didn't fully understand why she felt so safe, but it was a feeling she desperately needed. It was comforting and reminded her of the nights they had spent together .
Dallas, known for his tough exterior, surprised everyone with an unusual amount of affection. With a shaky voice, she whispered, "I'm sorry." But, deep down, there was a lingering sense of distrust. They both knew they were experts at employing manipulation tactics, and their shared history made it difficult not to recognise.
"Shh, it's okay we know" Dal whispered, the way he was acting continued to shock everyone, including Jess.
"I can't fucking take it anymore. I feel nothing." She whispered. She struggled to hold back her tears, taking deep breaths in an attempt to regain her composure.
She was well aware that she'd have to face her brothers and all she could feel was dread.