The twins were really hungry and went over to complain to Stan as I watched Tyler walk around touch everything he saw.
"Do you have this in another animal?" He asked me as I turned to the twins for help.
Mabel quickly grabbed my hand and the four of us went out. Stan locked Tyler in and we got in the car.
------
We were at the diner. Mabel was sitting next to Stan and I next to Dipper. Lazy Susan walked to tge table to get out orders.
"Lazy Susan! There's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?" Stan asked her.
"I got hit by a bus!" She laughed.
"Ha ha. Hilarious" Stan laughed aswell.
"Thank you
"You do split plates, right?" Stan asked.
"Maybe" Susan said as she winked.
"Great! We'll all split a one-fourth of the number seven, plus a free salad dressing for the this lady, a small plate of ketchup for the boy and a glass of water for the girl sitting next to the boy." The twins rolled their eyes. I mean I wasn't expecting anything else from Stan. But it would have been nice if he got us more than that.
"But Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes!" Mabel whined.
"With the fancy flour they use these days? What am I, made of money?"
"Don't worry guys, pancakes are on me. I'm gonna win some by beating that manliness tester." Dipper said as he got up. Me, Stan and Mabel looked at eachother and started to laugh.
"Manliness Tester?" Stan asked.
"Beating" Mabel said.
"You?" I continued.
"He says he's... he says he... HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Stan couldn't breathe.
"What? What's so funny?" He asked us.
"Oh, no offense Dipper, but you're not exactly 'Manly Mannington.' Ha ha ha!" I told him.
"Hey, I am too 'Manly... Manny' or whatever it is you said." He crossed his arms.
"Look, face the music, kid. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's... 'incident.'" Stan said. Ah yes. That story.
"No. Heh heh, I wasn't. It's not important. Look, come on guys, I'm plenty masculine. You see this chest hair?" He pulled down his shirt.
"Put it away, put it away!" Mabel said covering her eyes.
"Aw man..."
"Fine, 'family of little faith.' Get ready to eat your words. And a plate a delicious pancakes." He said and he walked up to the machine.
Dipper tried it but didn't succeed. "Oh, what? This thing must be broken. It's totally broken, guys. It's like a million years old, probably ran out of steam power or-" he tried to make an excuse. Manly Dan pushed him aside. "It's rickety man, you shouldn't even-" he was cut off by pancakes flying around. To be honest i felt bad for him.
Dipper ran out but tripped over on his way out. Maybe I was a little bit too mean with him. "Guys i am going out for a while" i told Stan and Mabel and ran out aswell to try to find Dipper.
I was on the street. I looker over to the policemen running our with their shirts off. Ew. Oh wait. Behind them was Dipper. "HEY DIPPER WAIT" I shouted out to him but he didn't hear me. And he ran into the forest. Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT.
I walked around the forest trying to find Dipper. When I finally found him it looked like he was talking to a bag of jerky.
"Hey" I said to him as he turned around to face me.
"Oh great you are here to mock me again aren't you" he rolled his eyes.
"No I am here to check up on you. It's dangerous to wander all by yourself in the forest you know. Plus I wanted to apologize for what happe-" I was cut off by animals running off to hide. Oh no this was not good.
A tree was about to fall on Dipper. I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the way. There was a roar and both of us saw a big shadow of some kind of a creature.
The creature looked in out direction. He knocked out the log we were hiding behind.
"Please don't eat me! I haven't showered! In like a week! And, I'm all elbows! Elbows, and gristle!"
"YOU gonna finish this?" The man said as he pointed to the bag of Jerky.
"No" Dipper tossed him the bag "I can't believe it, part animal, part human. Are you some kind of Minotaur?" He asked.
"I'm a manotaur! Half man! Half...uh...half taur!" The man said.
"So did we, like, summon you or-?" I tried to ask it.
"The smell of jerky summoned me! JERKY!YEAH!! Ha ha! Heh." He sniffed the air "I smell... emotional issues!"
"I have problems, Manotaur. Man-related problems." Dipper said as he sat down. "Well, my own uncle called me a wimp and Emma said I'm not that manly or something"
"And who is this Emma you speak of" I stayed there awkwardly not knowing what to do.
Dipper sighed. "A close friend. But i am sure she didn't want to hurt my feelings"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh."
"And I kind of flunked this manliness video game thing... Hey, you know, you seem pretty manly. Maybe you could give me some pointers?" He asked the man.
"Very well. Climb atop my back hair, child!" He said but I stopped Dipper.
"Hey hold on now. You can't go with him. You don't even know him. I mean what if it's dangerous!" I told him
"I will be alright don't worry!"
"No way If you are going I am going aswell" I told him but the manotaur looked at me.
"No women are welcome to where I am going to bring this young child!" He said.
I rolled my eyes "Finneeeee. But if he doesn't come back in one piece I am holding you responsible!" I told the creature that just nodded. And so they went off.
I watched as they disappeared deep into the forest. I just hope Dipper doesn't get in any trouble.
------
I walked in the Mystery Shack
"AH EM YOU ARE RIGHT ON TIME GO GET THE CAMERA!" She said to me. I just did as she asked without question.
I returned back with a camera. "Okay, Grunkle Stan. Welcome to the first day of whatever is left of your life! First, a before picture." Mabel said as I took a picture of Stan.
"Ahh!" Stan got scared because of the flashlight.
"Sorry." Apologized.
"Let's start out with some roleplaying. Soos will play Lazy Susan." Mabel said as Soos walked over to Stan "Grunkle Stan, show me how you approach a woman. Remember this is a safe, non-judgemental environment. I'll just be right off the side judging you on a scale from one to ten."
"Can I borrow some money?" Stan said as he walked up to Soos.
Mabel Blows her whistle as me and Stan covered our ears. "This is gonna be harder than I thought." Mabel said.
------
"Alright! Let's try to get that inner beauty on the outside. Smile harder." Mabel said to Stan who tried to smile but it just looked creepy.
"EHHH...AGGHHH..." he tried to force a smile on his face
"Harder!" Mabel said to him.
"AGGGHHH...WEEAAGGHH" Stan was struggling to smile.
"Perfect. Em what do you think" She turned to me.
"That's the most terrifying thing I have seen" I said. Suddenly Soos came in but quickly ran out screaming. Glad i wasn't the only on terrified of Stan's smile.
"This is going to take some really great training music." Mabel got out a CD out of somewhere.
"Oh god please don't" I said as she just looked at Stan with determination.
------
Mabel tried to fix him. By the end of the day we were going to compare him to the photo I took in the beginning.
"Okay, Grunkle Stan. You started like this.." Mabel said holding up the photo of stan. "But you became.." she lowered the picture revealing Stan in somehow an even worse condition.
"Can I scratch myself now?" Stan asked.
"No! No, no, no!"
"Is that throw up on your shirt?" I asked him as he just looked at both me and Mabel thinking if he shoud answer that.
"I don't know how to answer that" He finally replied.
"Face it, Mabel. Your uncle's unfixable. Like that spitting pie thing in the diner." I told her as her eyes suddenly lightened. She grabbed my arm as well as Stan's.
"Come with me!" She ran out the door dragging up behind.
We went to the dinner and Mabel walked up to Susan "Lazy Susan. Listen. I know he's not much to look at, but you're always fixing stuff in the diner, and if you like fixing stuff, nothing can use more fixing than my Grunkle Stan! Also women live longer than men so your dating pool is smaller and you should really lower your standards." Mabel told her.
"So, Lazy Susan, what do you say?" I asked her as Stan smiled. This time a little less scary.
Unfortunately Susan started leaving. We started to leave aswell but Susan stopped us.
"Heeeeyyyy! Here's my number. Why don't you give me a call some time?" She gave stan a piece of paper and also a piece of pie. "Also here's some pie. On the house. For YOU!" She smiled and left us alone.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! We did it! When are you gonna call? You wanna call now? I don't have a phone. Let's buy a phone! We can put it on a credit card. Let's get a credit card." Mabel was probably more excited than Stan.
"Mabel! How about you let the man enjoy his pie, huh?" I told her as Stan happily ate the pie.
I stared out the window. This day was actually really fun. Right then I saw Dipper walking outside. I knocked on the window to get his attention. When he noticed me I waved him. He smiled at me and decided to come inside.
He looked kind of sad. "What's wrong?" I asked him as he sat next to me.
"I don't want to talk about it." He said.
"Good" Stan replied.
"It's just these half man half bull humanoids were hanging out with me..." Dipper started telling his story
"Here we go"
"But then they wanted me to do this really tough, horrible thing but it just wasn't right. So I said no."
"You were your own man and you stood up for yourself." I said to him. He looked at me kind of surprised.
"Huh?"
"Well, you did what was right even when no one agreed with ya. Sounds pretty manly to me but, what do I know?" I told him as he smiled.
"Wait a minute, do my eyes deceive me? You have a chest hair!" Mabel pointed to her brother's chest.
"You're right! I do! Ha ha, this is amazing! I really do! Take that, man tester! Take that, Pituitor!" He started screaming random names up to the sky.
"Pituitor?" Stan asked.
"This guy has chest hair!" Dipper was really happy.
Right then Mabel pulled out the little string of hair and put it in a book. "Scrap-book ortunity!" She said
"Don't worry, kid, if you're anything like me, there's more where that came from." Stan said as he ripped his shirt.
"OH, GROSS!!!" Me and the twins replied.
"Alright but seriously, that's disgusting." I told him. He tried to cover it up as we continued to laugh.
A/N
To be honest this chapter was kind of boring to make and I apologize if it's lazily written. I still hope you enjoyed it. Bye~~