"Could you tell me I am beautiful even when my heart wears thousands of scars?"
"You'll never guess who I saw today." Taehyung chimed as he took my coat off for me and put it on the hanger.
"Who?" I froze. There were far too many people I dreaded Taehyung would meet. Damn it, what has my life turned into?
"Soohyun," he replied and relief washed over me. "She came over for Hyeri's regular monthly check-up. And I have to say, she's in awe of you."
"She is?" I frowned. This was not what I expected to hear but somehow I didn't mind it.
"Yeah," Taehyung nodded rapidly as we made our way into the kitchen and put the grocery bags on the counter. "She says you're absolutely amazing and that you've helped her make a change in her life that was long overdue. It seemed like she really admires you. When did you girls get a chance to talk?"
"I ran into her while shopping." I shrugged. Another lie. They just keep piling up. I couldn't possibly tell him the real reason I was at the hospital that day I bumped into Soohyun, which was to expose and confront him about being wanting to destroy me.
"Well it seems like that talk really affected her," Taehyung said casually while taking the food out and placing it in the fridge. He then looked over at me. "You have a way of making people love you, do you know that?"
"No, I... I mean, shut up," I rolled my eyes, trying to conceal how flustered he made me. "As a matter of fact, she said some pretty nice things about you as well."
"You should know they're all true." he said smugly, coming around to stand in front of me. His right arm snaked around my waist as he pulled me in.
"Shouldn't I be the judge of that?" I asked teasingly, crossing my arms in front of my chest.
For a second, Taehyung's eyes flickered down to my breasts and his tongue poked out to glide across his full rosy lips.
"Faye, you can't keep doing this in front of me unless you want to get yourself in trouble."
"Do what?"
"This," he glanced down my chest again. "I'm obsessed with your body and I won't be able to keep my hands to myself any longer. And it's not even dessert time yet." He licked his lips again.
"What are you even talking about, I'm not doing anything." I shrugged, a devilish grin spreading across my lips.
Next thing I knew Taehyung grabbed me by the ass and lifted me up. My legs automatically latched around his waist as he put me down to sit on the kitchen counter.
"You little minx, you know exactly what you're doing." he said lowly, his deep voice washing over me like honey. I'm so attracted to this man it's not even funny anymore. "Let's move this to the bedroom."
"You don't like this counter?" I asked innocently, leaning back and gripping on the edge of the kitchen counter.
"If we're doing it in the kitchen I prefer the floor honestly," he admitted, his right hand gently wrapping around the back of my neck as he pulled me in for an intense kiss.
"That would be uncomfortable," I chuckled into the kiss as he drew back a little.
"Don't say it until you've tried it. You're gonna love it," Taehyung husked close to my ear. "Truth be told I'd happily fuck you in every corner of my house and I know it would be just as good as on the bed."
Okay, my heart just did a thing.
Gently, I placed my hand over his chest and pushed back just a little. Thank god I hadn't forgotten my wits completely because having sex with Taehyung on that kitchen counter would be amazing, but also troublesome considering he'd be able to see the scars on my back.
This would raise a million of questions I wasn't ready to answer now, like how did these terrifying marks appear on my body when they weren't there just some days ago when we slept together for the first time.
"Maybe we should wait until dessert." I said softly, cupping his cheeks with my hand.
He looked at me, his hands slipping down from my waist towards my hips.
"Okay," he said, easily coming around.
I was glad he wasn't offended because pushing him away wasn't what I was trying to do. I had it bad for him, believe me, but I wanted to stall until the sun had set at least so that in the darkness of the room it would be harder for him to notice my scars.
But you can't hide from him forever.
Taehyung withdrew and turned around. I pushed myself off the counter and took a step towards him, letting my arms envelop around him as I hugged him from behind.
He seemed taken aback by the gesture given how his body slightly tensed up.
"Hey." he said ever so gently. After some long moments his hands found mine resting on his abdomen, and squeezed them.
"I care about you." I uttered suddenly, surprised by my own honesty.
"Oh, Faye," Taehyung exhaled, taking my hands in his as he turned around to face me. "I care about you too." He said, eyes glistening with sincerity. "But where is this coming from?"
"I don't know," I mumbled as my arms folded around his neck. "I just wanted to get it out there."
Taehyung smiled and inched closer, his thumb grazing my lower lip. Then he peered deeply into my eyes, some unfamiliar feeling stirring in his dark chocolate orbs.
"This is real, isn't it?" he breathed out. "You and me."
"Yes," my voice was a cowardly whisper as if I was afraid to let the words out. "Yes, it's real." I think so.
The way he was looking at me made me shiver. Suddenly my defenses were just brittle glass shattered on the floor. My affections for Taehyung never felt so strong as they did now. His palm pressed against my cheek and I leaned in, relishing in his comforting touch as I let my eyelids flutter closed. This is real.
But at the same time it wasn't. If this really was part of some bigger elaborate plan to put Taehyung in my path, then none of it was real. His feelings were probably not real either even though he wasn't aware of it. He could be just a pawn used against me. This made me feel scared and insecure as my feelings for him overwhelmed me more and more with each day.
I was so conflicted, but most of all, I was angry. Angry that someone might want to use Taehyung against me as a way to attack and undermine me. But if I felt so manipulated, why did I go back to him? Why didn't I just disappear? Why couldn't I stay away?
"So what do you feel like doing now?" Taehyung asked. I was thankful he didn't prolong the emotional moment too much and instead changed the subject. Perhaps he knew emotional vulnerability made me uncomfortable and was being mindful of that. My stomach flipped at how attentive he seemed to be with me, and this level of emotional intensity was new and difficult for me.
"How about some... Netflix and chill?" I looked up at him, batting my eyelashes innocently. "Emphasis on the chill."
"What a great idea," he smiled brightly. "You're so brilliant babe."
My heart fell to my stomach. Did he just call me babe?
I'm ashamed of how much I like the sound of that.
"Great," I mumbled, desperate to cover up how shy he made me. "I'll go and slip into something more comfortable."
"You know where my t-shirts are," he said. "Make yourself feel at home. I want you to feel comfortable here. I'll go pick out a movie while you're changing."
"Great," I nodded and scurried to his bedroom to change my clothes and most importantly, finally get rid of this bra that annoyed the hell out of me.
I shuffled through Taehyung's neatly organized clothes and pulled out a white plain t-shirt. I put my hair in a ponytail and slid my top over my head, throwing it to the side, and quickly unclasped my bra.
"I just forgot to-"
Taehyung's voice came from behind and I abruptly pivoted my head in his direction to see him standing at the door, rounded eyes pinned at my back.
My scars.
author's note:
Happy Halloween 🎃🎉 Let's celebrate with a double update 💕