Janvi pov
Hurting Adith is the most difficult job for me. But I can't let him go that easily for whatever he did. I want him to realize his mistakes. I want him to not repeat those ever in life.
When I woke up in the morning when I tried to suicide. I feel like an idiot to do it. Suicide is not a solution to any problem in the world. I regret my action now. I don't know what to do at that time to take my pain away it was the only way that was in front of me at that time, it hurts like hell. So I decided on that stupid idea, it's like I am not in my senses while doing it.
I confessed whatever I had in my heart. Yes, I am dying each day but there is no one for me to wipe tears. I want to punch him hard, sue him, and kill him with my own hands when he tried to help me. Idiot. What does he think of himself?
After pouring my heart out I can't prevent my tears from falling. But I do feel light-hearted after letting them out. Seeing me he pulled me to his chest hugging me, I don't have any way other than crying my heart out. I let myself fall into his hard chest. I feel safe and warm in his arms.
I don't know how I slept that night. The next day I woke up in Adith's arms in my bed. It's just 4 in the morning. His face clearly portraied how worried he was. His he acting? Or do he pity me?
Whatever it may be, I don't want to stay here a minute. He wants a divorce naa? Does he want to be with Mila? He can go. I won't stop if it gives him happiness. I left the signed divorce papers in my room.
I don't want to feel anything then.
No anger
No pain
No love
No hate Nothing. Just be emotionless so that I can live peacefully.
Again I started to feel lonely and empty. I have experienced it before but after our marriage being with Adith gives me strange happiness and I feel like I have someone for me it's like I have someone who will be there for me even if he hates me. But after seeing the divorce paper, I feel like I am disturbing his happiness by staying in his life.
I changed my dress and took some of my clothes and went out of the house. I get into Adith's one car as I can't get a cab at this time in this area. I asked the driver to take me to the Airport. My mind drifted back to Adith and a tear escaped my eyes. Soon the car came to halt. I look out to see it's his parent's house. I looked at the driver confused.
"Sorry, mam I am ordered to bring you here, by Mr. Dev sir"
"Please take me to the airport" I merely pleaded with him.
"No Janvi, come in. Let's talk" I heard dad voice.
I get out of the car.
"No, dad. Let me go back to London" I said trying not to cry.
"Janvi, you think me as your father?" He asked slowly.
I nodded as tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Yes, more like my own father," I said.
"Then come inside and stay here a few days. You can talk to us when you feel comfortable"
I nodded as I can't disobey his words. As dad said they never asked me any questions. They know their stupid son might have done something. I caged myself in Adith's room. I feel worse day by day. Even during my accident I never felt like this. My eyes refused to shed tears like it has nothing in it. I don't have any words to describe my pain.
A week rolled after I get out of Adith's house. I am sitting on the porch looking at the dark sky which resembles my life. Suddenly I feel something different in me. I know this feeling. I quickly turned back to see Adith standing there.
He falls on his knees due to my eye contact. He looks so tired, dark circles around his eyes gave a good picture about his sleep. When he called my name a tear rolled down my eyes. He looks too weak.
This man has the nerve to come back again. He asked for a second chance. How can I when he keeps on doing the same thing again and again so that I should get hurt? How can he judge my character when he knows nothing about me? I said I can't give him another chance. Maybe a bit harsh. He left with a sad face. My other part wants to go back to him and hug him tightly. But I won't. I don't know what I am going to do. But I can't at least for now.
Whenever I tried to do something his face comes in front of me distracting me. This man still affects me. The next day when I went out with maa, I saw my school senior Saransh. He is a good man with a good heart. Also not to mention a handsome man.
We both are good friends even though he is my senior. This man is such a talkative person, who can't close his mouth even for a second. That's why we become close as our characters are the same in all aspects.
Still, now I don't know why I loved Adith instead of this man. Maybe I should have to tolerate all this pain.
"Janvi" he squealed like a small kid bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Ansh" I exclaimed happily seeing him but only with a friendly smile. We never met after our school days as he went abroad for his studies.
"How are you Janvi?" He asked concerned seeing me from top to bottom. See. I told naa he has a good heart who can clearly me seeing my eyes.
"Good ansh," I said looking down.
"You can't lie Janvi," he said with a small smile.
"Are you.. " he was cut off by his mobile phone. He attends the mobile.
"Yes, sure..... Ok, arrange it..... Yeah, I will be there" he said and end the call.
"Janvi, where have you been," mom asked and stopped seeing a saw with ansh.
"Namaste son" mom said smiling at him. That's mom, she respects every person. He smiled widely seeing Mom's reaction.
"Namaste Aunty"
"Mom, he is Sasansh my friend from school. And, Ansh she is my mom, I mean my mother in law" I introduced them.
"Janvi are you married? You didn't even invite me. How can you do it? Just we didn't meet for years and you forget me and married. At least you should have sent me an invitation. Where is your husband? What is he doing" I told naa he can't close his mouth once opened.
I hit his head.
"Stop it fool," I said. Mom laughed at his action.
"Don't ask about my stupid son" mom said in a not interested tone.
"It's surprising your son is stupid when you are so clever and cute" he too joined mom.
Idiot. Saying my Adi as Stupid.
I hit his hands playfully.
"Aunty, see her she is beating me for her husband. How can she give up on me, her best friend for her husband" he complained like a child.
"She is always like that" mom joined him.
"Come home son"
"No aunty, I have to go. I will come next time"
"Sure and call me mom," she said to him. She is such a sweet mother in law. Ansh turned to me with a serious expression.
"We have to talk. Tomorrow is ready I will pick you up. Aunty can I take her out?" He asked her.
"Sure beta. And again I am saying call me mom like Adi and Janvi call" she ordered him.
He smiled at her and bid bye. As he turned to the entrance he looked intensely at me. I know he sensed something wrong in me. I nodded at him and he went away giving me a small smile.
I got ready the next day to go out with Ansh. As I got out of the closet and standing in front of the mirror I feel the same strange feeling as Adith. I look at the mirror he kept the cute rose bouquet near the table. Ghanaian? Trying to gain a chance? All the best Adith. I got back to my work and kept bindi between my eyebrows.
"Why did you come inside?" I asked with an irritated look.
I want to make you taste your own medicine Adith.
"You are here and it's our room," he said with a smile.
Seriously? our room?
"You don't have to come when I am here and it's not our room. If you say it's your room then i will leave this room and shift into other room"
"No, it's not my room. It's yours since you came here"
I nodded and went to the walk-in closet and came out wearing her scandals and wrist golden color wristwatch. I can feel his continuous stare on my every action.
"What Jaan?" He asked me confusingly.
"Ohh please don't show your fake love. And don't call me Jaan. I hate it when it comes from your mouth" i said with an emotionless face.
"And please get out I want to somewhere" I added in the same tone.
"Where are you going Jaa... Sorry, Janvi?"
"Why should I tell you where I am going, with whom I am going, when will I return. Stop all this and I don't have to say what is happening in my life to you"
"I will go wherever i want, whenever I want should I have to ask permission from you for even taking a single step?" I asked irritated.
This man seriously has the nerve to ask this question. Where has this concern gone these months?
"No, you don't have to. You can do whatever you want" he said with a sad smile and walked out of my no his room.
I went after him closing the door, I walked ahead of me and walked down the stairs. I still can feel his continuous gaze on me.
I went to the dining room and sat next to mom.
"Morning mom"
"Morning dad," I greeted both of them
"Morning beta" dad greeted me back.
"Morning Janvi, you look so beautiful maa," mom said looking at me lovingly as the same way she looks at Adith. I am lucky to have her.
"Thank you, mom," I said smiling. I am smiling like this after a long time. Maybe because of Ansh.
I saw Adith, it's like he looks hesitant and sat next to dad just opposite me.
Mom, dad, and I are talking and he sat there calmly watching us. They all are chatting like they all are friends for years.
Our chef came and placed the dishes on the table. I stood up from my chair and served food to all. Except him. I went back to my chair and started to have my food. His eyes never left me. Mom took rice and was about to serve him, he shook his head in no with a smile on his face. I know he is hurt by my actions. I have never done this before and that too with him.
She looking at him for a few seconds and nodded her head to have her food. I ignored him completely and having my food. It's the first time I am having breakfast after our marriage. Of course, credits to my mom. Dad brings me out of my staring at him.
"Ok I am leaving," said dad walking out.
"So Janvi, after long you are going to meet him. Be happy and enjoy all you want. Call me if you need any help" mom said looking at me with her hand on my head.
"Yes mom, I will," she said with a smile.
"Where are you going Janvi?" He asked out of trinket.
I let out an angry sigh and turned to him.
"Should I tell you again? I will go wherever I want and I don't need your permission. I am not you who keep on whoring around like you did Mr. Adith. Stay out of my life. And another thing doesn't even try to do some stunts as you did in the room. Don't bring flowers to me. It won't change anything you did. I don't want anything that comes from you" I tried to sound calm.
He gave me a small sad smile and got up from his chair.
"Adi you have to eat something," mom said
"It's ok mom. I am leaving" I heard his voice. He is not having his breakfast? But it's not good for your health. I ignored him with heavy heart.
I went up and came out with the bouquet he gave me. How can he act as he did nothing?
I threw it at his face making it fall on his face and feet.
"You are just like those flowers in my life. Unwanted and trash" saying these I walked away.
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I am getting hurt along with him with my actions. Even though if they are my enemy I have never acted the way I am behaving with him.
Don't come near me, Adi. It pains me to see you like this.
I went to the Blue Cafe out of the town where I and Ansh always like to have to go whenever we get time.
I see him waiting for me at our regular table which we always used to sit. I sat with him and we both started our conversations. Mainly he started to tell me about his college, business, girlfriend, etc., etc.,
"Now tell me about your life"
"What to tell I am happy with my life. Nothing is there to be said" I said giving him a small smile.
"Tell me the truth Janvi" he whispered slowly.
"Leave it ansh"
"No, Janvi. I want to know about you. Did your parents do something with you? Or your husband doesn't love you? Is he torturing you?" He asked angrily.
"No" I gave a small explanation.
"Tell me dammit," he asked gritting his teeth.
I looked down as a tear rolled down my cheek.
He stood up and dragged me out of the cafe and ignited his car and started driving. I don't know where he is taking me, but I know he won't hurt me as others did.
A few minutes later, he stopped the car in front of the park which I usually used to go to when 7 years back. We both sat on the wooden bench near the pond.
"Say it now," he said in an authorized tone.
I gulped hard and told him whatever happened 6 years back till now. My tears keep on rolling down as i said those bitter, painful memories.
He kept his hands on my shoulder and patted it consoling me.
"I will kill that bastard with my own hands" he is ragging like a bull.
"No. Please don't" I requested him and stopped him.
"How did you tolerate all this pain Janvi? You should have informed me. I will take you away from these people. They don't deserve you. It's not too late. Come with me I will take care of you" he said.
"No ansh. I have to obey my mom and dad. They have been a great support to me. I can't disobey them. I will go one day away from him and let him live" i said as a tear rolled down.
"No, you can't leave him. That's why you are not ready to leave his parents home"
"No. Not like that. He is never meant to be mine. I am always meant to be alone in this world without love. I am not ready to he his unwanted wife"
He sighed heavily and nodded. After a few minutes, he dropped me back home.
Adith keeps on trying to gain a chance and I keep on pushing him away as I don't want to get hurt again by him and his actions. He is again with a girl and hugging her in the mall. How can he? That too at the public place?
And at the night when he came home drunk with a smile on his face, really broke me. He looked so weak, pale, and seemed to be energyless and shattered. Why is he like this? Drinking and not taking care of himself.
As soon as he gets into the bathroom I cried again. I can't see him like this. It breaks me. He came back a few minutes later with a smile on. How can he still smile even after I hurt him this much?
He started to talk to me and confessed his nights with his whores. I am hell angry at that point. I don't want to forgive him this quick.
So decided to let him taste his blood.
I told him that I wanted to move on and date Ansh. His eyes screamed pain. At that time all are want to do is just hug him tightly but i decided to do it against it. He nodded and walked out of the door and walked away. I didn't sleep even a minute for the rest of the night as my tears accompanied me.
The next day I take a quick shower and went out to see Ansh there sitting on my bed looking at his mobile.
Hearing my door open he looked at me giving a smile. I gave him a fake smile.
"What happened Janvi?" He asked.
"No" I shook my head as a tear rolled down.
He got up from the table and took quick steps to me with an angry look on his face. He is frightening me so i took a few steps back and blocked by the wall.
"Truth Janvi" he nearly yelled.
I told him all that happened that night and started crying.
"Shhhhh... Shhh... It's okay. Everything is going to be alright" he said.
But I don't feel any peace inside me.
I keep on crying. So ansh came close to me and kept both hands on my cheeks and wiped my tears with his thumb finger.
"Don't Janvi. You can recreate everything which is destroyed. Nothing is permanent. You will get what you deserve and also your love" he said assuring me.
I nodded.
"Janvi" I heard mom's voice from down. So we both went down and ate breakfast. But I can't eat or concentrate on anything. He is fully inside my heart. Have I gone too far? What will he do now? Will he gain my trust back?
"Pagal, get out of your dreamland and eat" ansh ordered me.
"Why are you here? Go and have food from your home" I said.
"It's my mom's home and I will come here whenever I want," he said smirking at me.
"Am I right mom?" He asked mom.
"Of course Ansh" mom said stroking his hair. He smirking at me and i turned away giving him a bored look.
After having my breakfast I went to my room after Ansh went out.
I went to my room and browsed random things on the Internet to kill the time. I heard a knock at the door.
"Come in"
One of our maids came in and gave me a small smile.
She handed me a cover,
"Mam, Adith sir told me to give it to you," she said.
Did he come? But why didn't he meet me?
"Ok" I dismissed her.
What would it be? I opened it confused.
Divorce
As soon as I saw it, my tears came down again.
Why did he want a divorce now?
'You are the one who wanted to move on. Remember?' My brain mocked me.
Yes, I told it. But how can he give up so easily? Am I not worth a fight?
I quickly got out of bed to go down. Mom is sitting on the settee watching TV. I ran to her.
"Mom, where is Adith?" I asked her.
"He is not here now. He left morning itself" she said.
"What happened Janvi? Is there anything problem?"
"I will tell you later mom," I said and ran to his office by cab.
How dare he decided to give up so easily without a fight? Is it his love?
'But he never said that he loves you' said my brain.
'Shut up' yelled my heart. It's beating fast.
Once I reached his office I went up without minding the stares at me. As I got to his floor I pushed his cabin door a and it's locked. Where is he?
His PA came to me. "Who are you? Why are you going to sir cabin?"
"Where is he?" I asked ignoring her questions.
"Why should I tell you about sir?" She asked raising her eyebrows.
This girl is testing my patience level.
"Where is he?" I gritted my teeth trying to control myself hardly.
"What made you think I will tell you?" She asked again.
That's it.
"If I ask you a question you have to answer it not question me. Now tell me WHERE IS HE NOW?" I yelled at her.
She seemed scared and shocked at my outburst. Even I am shocked.
"Sir didn't come today mam. No one in the office knows where he is" she said.
Where he would be?
I get out of the building and went to his home. On my way, I called dad and asked him to know about him. But dad too doesn't know where he is.
Once I get into his home. I went in and screamed his name.
"Adith"
"Adith"
Again no response.
"Adith. Come out" I yelled, come out Adi you are scaring me.
Hearing me our chef Maithili aunty came out with a bag in her hand.
"Aunty where is Adith," i asked.
"Don't know Janvi. But he asked me to leave home and come back when he calls me" she said.
"Is everything alright Janvi?" She asked.
I nodded my head and went back to his parent's home and directly went to his room ignoring mom and dad's stare.
Even I am staying here for a month I still can feel his smell here. It feels like he is with me. No. But he is not.
He went away from me.
He went away for me. He left leaving me back in pain.
He left me again.
I cried holding my knees to my chest with my head on my knees.
Where are you, Adi?
Please come back. I cried all day ignoring mom's requests. ∞∞∞
A week rolled after his disappearance. He never contacted anyone even dad or mom. I have been dying to know about him.
Mom come to my room and asked me to get ready. She is looking dull.
"Mom are you alright?" I asked her.
"Yes, Janvi. Come it's getting late"
"Mom, you go i will be here itself, I am waiting for him" I said.
"You are coming with us Janvi. Nothing more" she ordered.
Soon we all went to the airport and went to his private plane. Soon flight takes off. Mom and dad are continuously speaking among themselves. Mom walked to the room and dad followed her. They both came back after a long time.
They both are acting weirdly.
"Mom is everything alright?" I asked concerned.
"Nothing Janvi. I am alright. Just tired" she said.
I can sense something wrong with her.
"Dad?"
"Yes Janvi" she looked at me.
"Did you find Adi?" I asked him.
As soon as these words escaped my lips mom started to cry hard. They are making me afraid.
"Dad, you know about him naa?" I asked him. He nodded his head.
"Where is he dad?" I asked.
"Paris" "How is he there? Is he alright?" I asked. Mom let out a sob hearing me. I feel afraid of now.
"Dad is he alright?" I repeated. He kept silent.
"Dad tell me what happened to him? He is ok naa? Answer me, dad, you are frightening me" I asked as tears started to flow freely.
"No Janvi"
"What does it mean dad? Does he have a fever? " I spoke stupidly not wanting to be something that I am thinking.
The air hostess came in.
"Sir the flight will land in a few minutes please be seated in your place"
My heart is racing fastly. Mom cried in dad's arms as dad kept on consoling her. I don't know what is happening here. How is my Adith? What happened to him? Is he alright?
They both started to avoid my eyes. My eyes became dry. It's empty.
Soon flight landed and we all get into a car and drove to the road. Then the car stops and we all got down. It's a hospital.
"Dad, what are we doing here? Come let's go and meet Adi" I said dragging dad.
"Adi is inside beta," dad said sadly.
"No dad, why would Adi be here? He will be staying at hotels or a house. Why would he come here? Come let's go I want to ask him many questions" yes why would he be here?
Mom quickly came to me and hugged me tightly and cried on my shoulder. I stood numb.
"Come in Janvi," she said.
"But will Adi will be waiting for us here" she shook her head and dragged me with her ignoring my protests.
Soon we stopped near a room where Rahul and a young man of his age and an old man of Dad's age all stood with a tense look.
I turned to dad, "dad can we leave. I want to meet Adith"
"Janvi. Adith is here inside" he said.
"No dad why would he be in ICU he c.." I stopped.
"Dad, what happened to him? Why is he in ICU?" He kept silent and a tear rolled down his cheek mom hugged him and cried harder.
I went to Rahul Bhai who stood at the end of the floor with head hung down.
"Bhai what happened to him?"
He turned to the other side facing away from me.
"Tell me what is happening here. What happened to him? Why is he here?" I shouted.
"He met with an accident"
My world crashed down.
Nothing can happen to him.
"No nothing will happen to him. He is safe naa? It's not time to play games" I asked him.
He shacked his head no, "Why would I play with my friends' life Janvi?"
"When did it happen?" I asked.
"Two days back"
Two days? But they never told me.
"Why didn't you tell me? How does it happen?" Did I scream in anger and pain?
"He is not feeling well for the past week when he comes here. He avoided having food and always do work or drink alcohol. I tried to stop him. But he never listens to me. Two days back he fainted at the office. We took him to the doctor, I went to buy medicines for him and came back to see him missing from the bed and drove the car. I started the search for him everywhere near the hospital. After a few minutes, I got a call from the police. They said he has been hit with a truck and injured badly in his head.
His operations are successful. But.." He stopped.
"But?" I asked.
"He is not showing any improvements for the past two days. If it continues then he will slip into a coma permanently"
Mom cried harder in dad's chest hearing this.
"Can I see him?" I asked him, my eyes resist to water.
He nodded. I walked to the door and opened the door and went in.
There he is lying on the bed with bandages on his head, leg, and left-hand scratches on his right cheek. He looks too pale and vulnerable. Many wires are placed on his chest, hands, his mouth, and nose.
I went near him taking slow steps and sat beside the chair near his bed. I took my hand and kept on his cheek.
"Adi"
He is silent. Even when he is angry with me he will answer me whenever I call him.
"I am calling you Adi. Don't you hear me?"
Again silent.
"Get up Adi, we should go home. Your mom is crying outside and you are sleeping here. Get up and wipe her tears.
Get up Adi, I can't see you this weak, come back we can go to our home.
You said you want a chance? I will give you. Come we will go and solve our problems. I don't want to be here.
Speak up Adi, your silence is killing me.
You said you want to take my pain away. Now my heart is in pain, make it go away.
You said you want to give me love which I lost. Come I ready to accept it now.....
You said you will make me smile and wipe my tears. Now I am crying come and wipe my tears.
You told me that you will hold my hands when I feel bad. Now I am feeling bad, broken, and lonely I want you to hold my hands tightly and never let me go.
Make me smile and tease me.
Prove all your words come back to me.
Come back, Adi. I can't live without you. Please get up. I will never leave you.
It's because of me naa? I promise you I will never leave you unless you want me to leave. Come back, Adi. It hurts me. It hurts every day without you.
I want to sleep in your arms daily with my head on your chest. I want to hold your hands tightly. I want you Adith. Please come back to me.
I never left you, Adi, my love for you lessened even for a second. I may be angry with you but I can never see you hurt or hate you. Get up let's start everything new" he is still not responding.
I keep on ranting the same words as a crazy girl.
I wiped my tears and started to hit his uninjured hand.
"Get up you idiot. I am calling you for the past 10 minutes and you are not responding. How dare you? Get up.
Get up Adi, I will kill you with my bare hands if you didn't wake up now.
You want me to beg you as you did? Then ok I will do it if that's what you need.
I beg you Adi get up, I want you. I am nothing without you. Please get up. I will die without you. I can't think my life without you" I said and laid on his chest crying harder as my sobs are getting louder every second.
"Please" I murmured in sobbing his chest.
But he never replied to me just like a few weeks back, you are such an arrogant man Adi.
"Mam please can you be out?" one of the nurses said.
I went out of the room to see mom and dad restless. Seeing my mom come to me, I hugged her tightly close to me.
"He will come to us mom, he won't leave us" I assured her placing my full hope on the man inside ICU.
We heard the door opening sound we both got separated and turned to the doctor standing there with a serious expression.
"How is he doctor" I quickly asked him.
"No improvement sir, hope we will get good news soon"
Two days passed there is no response from him, I didn't move away from him only to fresh up, now I am in the hotel to get back to the hospital when my mobile rang.
"Hello dad" I answered with hope.
"Adi is out of Danger"
I let out a sob in relief as my tears came out in happiness.