The whispers were back, but to Natalie's surprise, she welcomed them. Suddenly, it was exciting to have the whole school talking about her again. They weren't talking about her scars, her weird home life, or any of the many transgressions she'd made as a new student. They weren't talking about Rallsburg either, or the Awakened, or Hailey's disastrous interview. Nothing dangerous at all. In the perpetually surface-level discussions surrounding the new girl in school, they were finally talking about something she'd wanted to do.
Everywhere she went, Natalie could hear them talking about her ears first and foremost. Before the first bell even rang, she realized they were actually positive. They thought she looked cool. Ducking into the nearest bathroom, Natalie used a mirror and a deft bit of telekinesis to tie up her brown hair with short braids, exposing her ears just a bit more. When she returned to class, the whispers redoubled.
Nobody actually talked to her, of course, and Natalie was perfectly fine with that. She liked the idea of being someone mysterious and cool, but totally unapproachable. If her new appearance combined with the scars kept everyone away, that just made her life all the easier. A nagging memory of a lesson from Boris about staying totally unremarkable replayed in her head—but how much had that helped? She'd tried to stay out of everyone's way, and she'd ended up in situations almost as bad as Rallsburg's last days.
He couldn't have predicted where you'd end up. He might agree with your choice.
Yeah. Plus, Hailey and Cinza and Ryan all changed how they look all the time. It's gotta be okay.
The voice didn't always disagree with her, and when they spoke in unison, Natalie had never felt more confident and self-assured. Since leaving Rallsburg, she'd felt like she was on a topsy-turvy carnival ride like the one her dad had taken her years and years ago, except that she was holding on for dear life and could fall off any second. Up until the voice pushed her to run to Quinn's house, Natalie hadn't truly felt safe in months.
Thank you.
I am you. No need to thank yourself.
You aren't... You're her.
If you wish.
So far, nobody in the school seemed to be guessing the origin of her new look. Based on what she could pick out from the whispers (supposedly out of her earshot), everyone just assumed that she'd always hidden them underneath her long hair. Natalie felt relieved. She'd briefly panicked, just as she had with Quinn's parents, that they'd be suspicious of such a dramatic change—but they were more obsessed with the actual appearance rather than where the ears might have come from.
"So elf-girl," said Kelsey as they stretched on the track, waiting for the teacher to call the start. It was a special day in fourth period gym class, where every student had to run a full mile. Natalie hadn't ever run that far in one go before, but it didn't sound so bad. She had to remember not to use magic, but with how strong her new body felt, Natalie was plenty confident. "I'm still gonna beat you around. Just 'cause you got stronger on your vacation doesn't mean you're better than me yet."
Natalie grinned. "Vacation?"
Kelsey smirked back at her, before taking her spot on the line. "We had to call it something."
"That's a really dumb vacation..."
"Come on! You got to spend the whole week at your boyfriend's house, alone!"
She shook her head, face lighting up a bit. "He's not... oh, whatever." He said it, after all... And I actually said it first... I said I wanted us to be dating, and I do. But I don't even know what a date is. Should we like... go to the movies or something? Except I shouldn't be going out. Going to school was already a bad idea... I wish I knew what to do.
You are afraid.
I don't need your input on me and Quinn, okay? This is weird enough already.
Thankfully, the voice didn't respond. In its place, Natalie heard her name—or rather, Jenny's name, from a few groups behind them, in a not-so-quiet whisper. Blake and Lydia were talking about her, and they had sharper hearing than she'd hoped.
"Jenny and the nerd patrol?"
"Well, duh. They're the only ones who speak her language."
"Only ones who can stand to be around her. You know she ran away from home?"
Wait, how do they know that...?
"I bet her parents couldn't stand her either."
Kelsey whipped around. "Hey, Blake!" Blake looked around, livid that someone interrupted her in mid-flow. "How's your dad handle being around you? I bet he has to wear earplugs around the house so his ears don't bleed."
Her eyebrows arched up like bridges. "At least I have a dad."
Kelsey snickered. "Both my moms could kick your dad's ass any day."
Everyone is watching you now, and listening. You're drawing attention. The wrong kind.
"Kelsey..." Natalie murmured. Whispers were one thing, but this was way too much. She was okay being the odd one out, but she absolutely minded being the center. "Let's just go."
Her friend turned. "But..."
I want to get out of here now. No more Blake.
To Natalie's relief, the gym teacher returned at that moment, and told their group to run. Natalie exploded down the track, faster than she meant to, but she didn't care. She just wanted to get away from the crowd, and the track—which wasn't really a proper track, just a flattened path around the schoolyard that went under trees far away from the building—was her escape. Only nature around her, without a single kid in front. Kelsey fell far behind as Natalie hurtled around the track, her legs pumping hard and fast.
She wasn't getting tired. Despite sprinting full out from the start, Natalie didn't feel exhausted. She definitely felt the strain, but still, it wasn't much harder than the slow jog they'd encouraged everyone to start off with. Before long, and without even much time to think, Natalie was already halfway around the course they'd set up. The gym teacher watched her go, barely paying attention to the next group.
Well, I'm already this far...
As Natalie blew through the finish line, she had to avoid running into the last couple groups who hadn't even started running yet. Her teacher glanced at the stopwatch in a daze.
"Four minutes and thirty seconds..."
Natalie wasn't sure if she should say something.
Walk away. If you talk, you'll become the center again. Retreat.
Natalie hurried to the covered blacktop, while the rest of the kids had to be prompted back into running again. It took another minute or two for Kelsey to join her, panting hard.
"Okay..." she said, taking a drink from her water bottle. Natalie hadn't thought to bring one, but Kelsey had her usual bottle from soccer. "You didn't... have to show off... that much."
"Sorry," Natalie mumbled. "I just really wanted to run."
"What'd you get?" Kelsey was still walking around even though she was breathing so hard, which Natalie thought weird. In the distance, she saw Blake come in only seconds later than Kelsey's time, glaring at Natalie from afar even while she crossed the line red-faced. Natalie ignored her.
"Aren't you tired?" she asked Kelsey.
"Yeah, but coach says it's better to keep moving after a hard run, even if you're super tired. You don't get sore that way."
"Oh." She didn't feel tired at all. "I got four minutes and thirty seconds."
Kelsey stopped dead. "Holy... Jenny, that's like a world record."
Oh no. Natalie glanced around nervously. "I didn't think about it..."
Kelsey shook her head. "I don't know them, I could be totally wrong. But I know that's crazy fast. They're gonna want you to do that again."
"Why?"
"They asked me to when I got the district record for twelve year olds. They're gonna want to make it official." Kelsey looked worried. "Just tell them they were wrong or something. Run slower next time. But not like, too slow, or they'll know you're faking."
You can't show yourself like this.
I know, okay? I screwed up. I know.
Your friend is right. You must lie.
I hate lying... All I do anymore is lie, just in different amounts. I hate this.
It keeps you alive.
"Okay," she said finally. Kelsey looked very concerned about her, and it was making her uncomfortable. "What's left in class?"
"Nothing. Field games, whatever we want." Kelsey grinned. "Wanna destroy the boys in flag football again?"
Natalie didn't, not really. She worried that it might be exactly the wrong move, doing something else that could draw attention and set off her old fears—but she hadn't had an attack like the worst ones since those first few days of school. Besides, she could see the gym teacher still looking at her, waiting until all the kids finished running to come talk to her.
"Okay."