a month slowly slipped away from zach and i. he didn't open up as much as i would've liked him to.
we spent afternoons in the towns café on days he had work and the others in my bedroom when he didn't have work.
he often questioned why i stayed by his side.
i would simply respond the same, 'you're my soulmate. i wouldn't leave you for the world.'
which made him laugh nowadays.
i didn't understand why he always told me he could end up hurting me in the end.
"you're thinking too much again." zach retorted pushing my shoulder.
"sorry, lover." i gasped before shutting my mouth. i hadn't meant for it to slip out of my mouth.
"don't be embarrassed. i already know you're in love with me." he chuckled putting his hand on my back and rubbing small circles with his thumb.
I nodded slowly. it's not like i could deny it. though, i wasn't completely in love with my soulmate. but i knew i would be soon.
i looked at the lake in front of us while the sun slowly fell.
"are you depressed?" i asked suddenly.
lately, i've been studying his behavior. besides when he was with me, he was always alone and very quiet. he never smiled. even around me. his room was messy and so was his car which i used to think was a personality trait.
"i...i don't think so. i'm just sad sometimes." he mumbled, turning away from me.
"how do i make your worries go away then?" i questioned.
"dunno..just don't bother."
"if that will make you happy, i won't push." i admitted leaving the situation alone.
but i wanted to push. but it was against my loves wish.
i felt helpless as hot tears fell down my cheeks. it wasn't fair that he wouldn't let me help him when he was in need.
zach sighed heavily looking at me before running a hand through his hair.
he grabbed my chin making me look at him. my tears hit his thumb.
"boys don't cry."
i pushed his hand away angrily
"i cry because i care."
"you cry because you're sensitive."
"there's no getting through to you." i giggled, wiping my eyes.
our first fight.
i thought to myself.
"you're just stubborn, jack." he smiled, standing up.
i followed him off the dock to the car.
"you don't look attractive when you cry." he held the door open for me to get in. i nodded.
_
i sat on zachs bed as i watched him scramble around his room for his medicine.
"i want to clean your room." i admitted, looking at his messy room.
"no thanks." he gave up looking for his medicine and pulled out his lighter and cigarettes before taking a long drag.
"fuck." his hands were shaking and he let out a long breath he didn't know he was holding in.
i stood up and began to dig through his drawers.
"don't get so fustrated they are right here."
he handed me his cigarette and i handed him his anxiety medication.
"you don't need to smoke every time you feel frustrated. you just need to breathe."
"shut the fuck up." he grabbed his pills almost dropping them because his hands shook and swallowed them without water.
i dug through zachs pile of snacks and grabbed a water bottle handing it to him
"don't swallow pills dry. it's not good for you."
"thanks, mom." zach scoffed before grabbing it and taking a sip.
"i sometimes wonder why i love you when you're so sarcastic."
"i wonder too." zachs small smile faded.
"i still love you though." i added.
"i don't."
i sat beside him on the bed in silence and put my hand over his that rest between us. he flinched at first but didn't retract his hand.
after awhile, he rested his head on my shoulder.
"i don't like you but i like your company." he muttered, making me smile.
"i'm so in love with you."
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too cute mannn