Sam
A lady was singing in Spanish: her deep, low voice made me envision a Latina queen, a classy, ageless woman sprawled on a couch, huge earrings glinting in the spotlight. June had played her before. I think she once mentioned this was her father's favorite, but to be honest, I wasn't sure. I'd never paid attention to the songs before, and with it being in a language I didn't understand, it was difficult to keep the one from the other. I used to get bored with them quickly because of that. This time, though, I was making an effort to be my best self.
This evening had to work. It just had to. I had all of them back together in one house, June, Nathan, and Hayley, and I'd do anything, anything, to have it stay like that.
During dinner, the sound of knives clattering against platters was masked by laughter, mostly June's. If you asked me, she was nervous, dropping more than usual, downing lots of wine — that habit hadn't changed either. Nathan wasn't doing any better, already leaning back in his chair like his body had become too heavy for him. Every time he was smiling, looking at her, and she was smiling back, Hayley and I would exchange these knowing glances. We had to collect evidence, after all, and then analyze the data, like we were doing this serious college project. The secrecy of it pumped me up. I couldn't sit still, imagining we were spies, sent on a mission to save the US from going down — or in this case, my family from falling apart again.
We left the dishes, deciding to do them tomorrow, and moved to the living room, June quietly murmuring along to the song as she settled on the couch, in the corner, her eyelids fluttering. Hayley sat down beside her, handing her another glass of wine — how drunk was she trying to get her? I was warm inside, that feeling like when the guys and I were deep into our campaign, almost forgotten that we weren't really hill dwarves and halflings and wizards, only now, I was intensely myself. It was kind of weird. While I took a place before them on the ground, the perfect angle to study all three — err two of them, Nathan let himself fall back in the cushions.
This was what I'd been missing those two years. This was how it'd been like before everything went to shit — before my brother had left, before I'd messed up, before Mr. Guevara had died.
June breathed in deeply, gently swaying to the music. What did those words mean, to make her seem this satisfied? Her bra strap had slid from her shoulder, and I checked if Nathan noticed. Hayley might've said I was too clueless to recognize the signs, I knew guys, and I knew my brother. "Sam," June said, the corners of her mouth curling up wickedly, "do you remember when you and Jennifer were together, and she'd printed that enormous picture of you two kissing? To give it to you on your one-month anniversary?"
Seemed like everyone remembered, Nathan already bent double, Hayley falling sideways against June's shoulders. My face became hot, trying to push out the image of that embarrassing time of my life. It wasn't like it was fully my fault. They could've stopped me from dating her.
"It wasn't that big!"
Nathan shook his head at me, like I was a puppy that'd failed to run after the stick. "It was tabloid size."
Hayley let out a freakish shriek, slapping her knee. Her ponytail had come undone, and the blonde strands tickled her bare shoulders. She hadn't gotten any less cute in the past two years, with her feet tucked underneath her, wrapped up in blue-and-white penguin-patterned socks. Man, what would've happened if I had kissed her that day?
Nothing good, probably. I wasn't even sure if she liked guys. I mean, I had happened to check her Instagram a few times over the years, you know, just once or twice, and yeah, she had dated this asswipe of a dude, but she'd also had a girlfriend for a pretty long while. I wasn't really sure what to make of it.
"I still can't believe you two lasted as long as you did," she said.
For a second, I wanted to say she was one to talk, considering how she and Jennifer had been friends for far longer than I'd been with her, but I swallowed it away. Ignore. All for the greater good. They all had to stay happy.
June had a strange grin on her face, as if she was seeing something I couldn't. "Yeah, you really dodged a bullet with that one. Believe me."
See! There it was, again, one of those looks between her and Nathan! Hayley would better be paying attention because I might've spotted it, I had no idea what it meant. I had to keep this going, gather more intel. "I'm not the only one who dodged a bullet," I said, sitting up straighter. "I mean, come on, her majesty the queen Charlotte? That one was a big bull— ouch, what the hell, Hayley?"
She'd slid down from the couch, kicking me full in the stomach in the process. Stumbling, she crawled over to sit next to me. "That was your own doing, you jackass. You could've moved out of the way."
Shit, that girl. She jerked her head, eyes radiating some kind of message. What? "If we're talking embarrassing stories," she said, sending a sly smile in the direction of her friend. "I have one about you, June. One that no one else knows about."
Really? Oh, this was getting interesting, people. Nathan seemed to think so too, suddenly a lot more alert. Even June, whose cheeks were already wine-flushed, laughed, like she was enjoying all the attention. "Oh no," she said, "am I going to survive this? Because you know, I still want to be able to look everyone here in the eye tomorrow morning."
Hayley ignored her, playfully sticking her chin up in the air. "When you were fifteen, you wrote a pirate story—"
Immediately, June shot up, on her knees, almost tumbling down the couch. "Wait, what? How do you even know about that?" But she was laughing too, fits of it escaping through the fingers she'd covered her mouth with.
Hayley was in stitches as well; I could feel the ground shaking. "You told me—"
"—Why on earth would I tell you?"
"You were kind of drunk."
"That is very, very cringey, private information!"
"I know!"
With them cackling like a bunch of witches, we'd never hear what this was about. And judging by their faces, this was gold. I seized Hayley's arm, catching her attention. "Come on, tell me! What is this about?"
"Yeah, Junie," Nathan said, and I mentally registered it was a good sign he was using her nickname, and that she didn't seem to mind, smiling at him as she sighed deeply, "we want to know about this... pirate story?"
She shoved her curls out of her face, unsuccessful at first, with a rough move, like she was trying to push her forehead away instead. "Thank you, Hayley," she said sarcastically, though she was clearly enjoying this. "Okay, Nathan. Please remember I was fifteen. That is a very — a very important detail." She was nearly unable to talk, and still, he stared at her expectantly, on the verge of laughing too. "So, when I was fifteen—"
"—You said that already."
"Shut up, Sam." Her gaze never left my brother's, even though she was really flustered now. "When I was fifteen, I wrote a story about pirates. And you were in it. And you were a pirate too." With that, she clutched one of the pillows to her stomach, quivering with laughter.
"I was a what?" He liked it, I could see, despite his surprise.
"You were a pirate, okay? A good one, if you want to know."
I nudged Hayley with my elbow, and she pushed me in return, already monitoring the situation closely. She was good at this, I had to give her that.
"Why?"
June opened her mouth, no words coming out, making a dismissive gesture. "I don't know — I was fifteen. You do weird shit at fifteen."
His grin was growing with every passing second, and mine was too. "Do you still have it?"
"No." But she was too drunk to lie well.
"Is it on your laptop?"
"No."
Even before she'd finished saying it, he'd jumped up, sprinting to the kitchen like a criminal chased by the cops. June screeched, tripping over her own feet as she followed him, disappearing out of view. Bursts of laughter waved towards us from over there. They shouted stuff at each other, I couldn't hear what, though it sounded promising.
I turned my head to the left, ready to compliment Hayley, but she was already on her feet, gesturing for me to get up too. Okay, okay, chill, girl. What was with the teacher-face? She clasped her hand around my elbow, dragging me with her to the hallway. What now?
"What are you doing? We're finally getting somewhere!"
She rolled her eyes at me and closed the door. "Which is why we need to leave them alone!" she yelled-whispered.
"Ah, gotcha."
Smart. What would I have done without her? Of course, nothing would ever happen with us around. And now, she'd gotten them in the right mood, being playful and all, so it was time for us to disappear. Because when it was just two people, that was when the magic could start.
For a second, I hesitated, part of me wishing to go back. This was still Nathan, and still June, and it still felt icky, them together — were we doing the right thing? Wasn't it better to just remain friends, all of us, go back to how it was? Safer? Who even said they liked each other that way, after all this time of being apart? Who even said they liked each other that way then?
No. I was being a selfish coward. If I was really, really honest, rewatching the image of him waking up next to her and kissing her softly, I might've known for sure even that morning. Maybe Hayley had been right. Maybe I'd been jealous, and maybe it was that that had destroyed everything, and not them.
I took a deep breath, letting go off the door handle. "So," I said, "are you ready to spy on them?"