My knuckles are turning white from gripping the steering wheel. I think I might leave a dent from the pressure. Sophia sits next to me in the passenger seat, I can feel the burn of her gaze roaming from my hand to my face, she stops on my eyes before moving back to my fingers.
She sighs out. “There is no point in getting angry at the wheel, it didn’t do nothing.” I grind my molars instead while moving my hand to rest at nine instead of twelve. I know who I will be getting angry at later when I get back into the pack lands. Shits about to really hit the fan. Reaching over and grips her fingers into my jaw in an attempt to separate my teeth. “Stop that.” Her eyes bore into mine sternly. I do as I’m told, letting the feel of her hand soothe down my ruffled fur. Exhaling out the frustration leaning in closer she scratches my jawline through my beard . Does she realize what she is doing right now?
“Look at this way, she won’t be back there. Ever.” She is just as frustrated as I am.
After Kirsten made a scene to the operator of the sanctuary Sophia had to defuse the situation. She admitted to giving a redundant task out due to her initial annoyance and feeling disrespected; while childish, she could have done far worse. She had finished all the paperwork the week before when she was in the enclosures checking the data and reorganizing it into folders. It never needed to be checked. Now she has to reorganize it because of it being out of order from the wind and upgrading all the paperwork to computers.
Apparently, Sophia and technology don’t mix.
The cherry on the cake, no one is allowed in that clinic unless it is an emergency. No help. No chatting. No anything including no Wayne or myself, especially me. Kirsten was also told to vacate the premises for being there under false pretences and isn’t allowed back, but she got what she wanted, a divide between Sophia and I.
Scott will be engaging in this situation whether he wants to or not. He can avoid me all week but he will not be ignoring this. The unrest between leadership will trickle down the pack and bring chaos, all over some nonsense and females.
She fidgets with her fingers when she finally pulls her hand away. “I’m sorry about this Sophia, really I am. If I had known she would have been there or would cause trouble.” Trailing off, I feel horrible to make her isolated at her own work.
“It’s not your fault Hotshot. I just don’t understand what her problem was to begin with she doesn’t even want you. Why do all this for a guy you don’t even like.” Sophia’s eyebrows knit together as she goes deeper into her thoughts.
I’m confused.
“What?” I ask her.
She looks over at me before snorting. “You don’t honestly believe she likes you?” She asks. Pausing for a moment she sucks in a small breath “Do you like her?” Her voice gets softer, almost worried.
“No,” I tell her firmly. “How do you know she doesn’t like me?” I want to know how she came to this conclusion after everything that has happened today.
“Well, ” she starts. “At first I thought she was laying it on thick fluttering her fake lashes, but when you were rude to her,” Sophia mocks me with a fake cough. She knows that wasn’t real and I can feel the heat on my face from being caught. Giggling she continues, “at that point, I thought she’s either incredibly stupid or she has a bone to pick. Since I have never met her I thought it had to be with you. Maybe she thought making me jealous would make you mad, I don’t know. Anyways the clinic has cameras, having that medication out in the middle of nowhere with little security its been robbed before. I told Kenneth that the wind wasn’t my intention, as hilarious as it was, so he checked the footage. She was texting someone the whole time, she would giggle and smile before looking around and typing back. It was weird she took so long to get through something that was already done, now I know why. Girls don’t act like that unless they are giddy high schoolers or they are getting messages from someone they like.” She finishes before checking her own phone with a smile.
“Is that what you’re doing now?” I can’t stop the bite of jealousy that bubbles out. My emotions are high and I don’t know if this new theory is good for me or bad.
She raises her eyebrows at me. “Seriously?” She isn’t pleased and I look away, focusing on the road ahead instead. “It’s my brother you dweb. Who are you to tell me who I can smile at while I text anyways, we aren’t even dating.” She seethes before glaring out her window. She has a point we aren’t dating, barely even friends, I don’t have the right as much as I would like to, I don’t. Not yet.
I just wish she would only do that for me.
Silence incases us, the smothering feeling from the harsh tension has me on edge. The wolf wants to cave, go belly up, anything to stop her anger towards us. I just don’t know what to do or say. I’m getting ahead of myself with the shift in the dynamics of our relationship. Too much too soon. Especially for her.
The mechanic shop comes into view and she is out the moment I have it in park, stomping off to the entrance. I see Wayne’s pickup pull in shortly after with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “You done fucked up man.” He laughs, she must have texted him. I don’t laugh, I don’t even smile. Today was supposed to be a good day, the day to make or break us, seems it’s only breaking. He puts his hands in his pockets, his grin dying down, “she will get over it. She gets mad, she is bound to get happy again. She didn’t tell you to leave or fuck off so hope isn’t all lost.” Saying this as he walks to the door holding it open for me.
She has her back turned to us and her head up, arms crossed. When will she get happy again? How long does that take?
A lanky juvenile comes from the back garage, couldn’t be more than nineteen. I haven’t seen him before, he isn’t one of ours. The only other pack that he could belong to is a little over 50 miles from here. Who is he?
“Hey Twitch is it ready? You said it would be.” Sophia isn’t going to take no for an answer from him. He rubs his arm, looking to me and Wayne. His eyes scream help. I can see his wolf peek out when his eyes darken. He resembles a beaten pup to me. “N-no-nope, not y-yet. Come b-back in an hour.” He stutters uncontrollably, scratching at his arm and giving a small shake to his head. I see why they call him ‘Twitch’. She forces out a breath between her teeth. “Fine. I’ll be back and it better be ready. I’m not kidding around.” Pointing a finger at the youngster, his head bobs frantically. “Y-yes Ma’am.” The words spill out in a slur faster than he can form them.
She storms out just as she blew in, door slamming hard behind her just for us to be left in the wake of her. “Should we still follow her.” I look to Wayne for guidance, he knows her better than anyone. He laughs. “Yes, as crazy as that sounds.” Leading the way forward I believe I may just be crazy. Tapping her foot she stands by my truck waiting for me to unlock it. I expected her to go with Wayne and ditch me; it is hard to keep a smile off me face. When I click the button she climbs in slamming the door behind her. The hinges groan from the pressure. I’m surprised the door didn’t fall off.
Wayne’s phone chimes. “Looks like we are going for dinner, I’ll follow you.” Stuffing his phone in his back pocket he heads to his truck before turning around with his back to her and wiggling his eyebrows. Shaking my head I get in my own truck and pulling out of the lot driving towards a nearby restaurant. She is still in a sour mood tapping her fingers on the window ledge of the door the whole way. I don’t even get the gear in park before she is jumping out quickly and pushing through the front doors, not bothering to wait for us.
I think I got too excited by her attitude towards Kirsten earlier, be careful what you wish for.
I wait for Wayne instead of following Sophia inside, let him sail into that. He doesn’t head in right away either. Looking through the window Wayne looks back to me with a smile starting to form on his lips. He is enjoying this more than he should. “Did you love birds talk?” He asks me.
Glancing through the window Sophia is storming her way through other patrons trying to leave or maneuver their way through the small restaurant. Sighing I run my hand over my face. “What am I supposed to say?” Countering his question with the one rattling around inside my mind.
He gives me a dumb look, “you apologize.” He tells me this like it’s the most obvious answer.
“For what though? Sorry, I’m jealous? Sorry, I said something that offended you? Sorry, I’m a dumbass?”
“Yea go with that last one. Seriously what do you normally say to women you piss off?” It’s not as obvious as he makes it out to be, I feel like an idiot now. Clearing my throat I don’t know how to tell him I have never dated before, never had to make up, never had to jump through hoops. The females I took home were for my needs for the night, they didn’t stay until morning. My voice is lodged in my throat. After a moment the wheels in his head start to turn and he seems to be understanding. “Wait you have never been with a girl before? Dude, I am flattered, but you aren’t my type.” The looks he gives me shouldn’t be a look one guy gives to his friend.
“I have been with women, I just don’t date.” I correct him.
He laughs hard. “You are absolutely serious. You never had a girlfriend?” He can’t stop laughing. Grumbling I walk away and he laughs harder.
Finding Sophia she is in the back looking out the window like the glass is looking for a fight. She doesn’t acknowledge me right away when I sit down. “Where is Wayne?” She finally looks my way her nose is scrunched up at me. It would look cute if her anger wasn’t for me. “Outside laughing at me.” I deadpan. Her nose straightens out as her head tilts to me in question at what I mean.
Joining us Wayne sits by her and whispers in her ear, I strain to listen to their conversation as I look out the window giving them my ear. I can’t make out what he says over the rushing sounds in this place, only bits and pieces. ′Friday, all, fun, trust me’ is all I can make out. He laughs while she looks at me with a strange look. Her eyes roam all over my body but I’m looking at him. Did he tell her? He shakes his head no like he could read my thoughts.
“Fine.” She blurts out and my eyes go to hers. “What are you doing Friday night?” She asks me.
“Depends.” I glance at his wide grin before looking back to her and her face softens.
“My cousin is home from boot camp and we are going to the bar to celebrate. Would you like to come with?” Wayne snickers and she hits him hard in the stomach knocking the wind of him. He gasps to breathe.
Did she just ask me out?
“Aren’t I supposed to ask you out?” This is awkward, what was he thinking? Sophia just shrugs in response. A girl with a tray comes out placing three drinks in front of us and asks for our food orders before scurrying off to the kitchen.
“You can buy my dinner tonight if it makes you feel better. It’s a better apology then what I have gotten so far.” She sips her water giving me a pointed look.
“I’m sorry I’m a dumbass.”
She smacks her hand on the table, Wayne is covering his mouth trying to swallow down his humour, his shoulders shake with the effort. “You actually told him to say that? What is wrong with you?” She scoffs at him.
“It was the best answer.” He can hardly get the words out as he holds himself back from bursting. My glare is harsh, asshole.
“I’m surrounded by idiots.” Rolling her eyes.
Eating quickly I remain mostly quiet while Sophia fills Wayne in on the day. Heading back to the shop it’s still silence between us, luckily it’s not as harsh as the rides before it. She doesn’t get out right away, sitting there chewing on her cheek. A habit I have noticed when she is angry but holds herself back. She blows her breath up before turning herself towards me and looking at me like she is evaluating me. I have no idea what to do or say.
“Wayne told me I should apologize and go easier on you, not be so harsh.” It’s almost like an accusation.
Licking my lips before I speak, I have to tread lightly, her stance tells me this matters. “Ignore him. I’m not sensitive. Just stupid, ” mumbling “apparently” at the end while looking out the front windshield.
“Tell me the truth Cage.” She deadpans me.
“That is the truth.” Matching her tone.
Her eyes narrowing before she looks away to let out another exhaled breath. I have to lick my lips again, my throat is dry. Why is this so hard? It takes me a moment but I cave, telling her part of my truth. “Do you believe in soulmates?” My voice is low and I am unsure if she even heard me. She looks back my way, the look on her face is softer.
“Soulmates? Not really. Why?” She rakes her eyes over me, unsure where this is going.
This pill is hard to swallow. “I do.” Looking directly into her eyes, the greys swirl like a tornado funnel. “I was raised believing there is someone out there for me, made just for me and me for her. Growing up I took that very seriously, I still do. Earlier Wayne asked me why I hadn’t made up with you and I told him I didn’t know what to do or say. I’m not used to that. I didn’t hang out with females growing up, I avoided them. When I got older I didn’t date or anything. I’m not accustom to dealing with emotions like this, I only took females home for sex and sent them away immediately after. They knew it wasn’t anything special just needs.” Sitting back in my seat rubbing my hands over my mouth and scratching at my beard. My skin crawls. Time ticks on as nothing is said, neither of us moving. I don’t know if I should say more or not. What would I even say?
Her voice is low when she speaks my name, almost like I’m a timid animal she is afraid to frighten off. “Cage, are you telling me, ” she pauses chewing on her lips like she is chewing on her words, “do you think I’m your soulmate?” She’s so confused she doesn’t know how to process what is happening.
Turning towards her she is already watching me, a nervous expression on her face. “Yes.” Its rasped. Her face changes to surprised, she is shocked at the realization. Her mouth opens just to shut before opening again but nothing passes by her lips.
This shouldn’t be this hard. Never in my life did I think telling my mate what is our basic beliefs would be so difficult. My heart is hammering in my chest. What if she gets creeped out? Laughs at me? Rejects me? That thought causes my heart to ache. The wolf is whimpering he is trying to reach her, he has been trying all day. I don’t know what we will do if she denies us.
I open my mouth to speak but Sophia cuts through before I do.
“Why me?” She asks.
“Why not you?” Asking her right back.
She scoffs “because there are so many women in this world a lot better than me to choose from.” For someone who holds herself well, she seems to have little confidence in herself.
Gripping her chin between my thumb and finger our eyes meet. “I have been to so many places looking for my soulmate; I have searched for you for years. You were more than worth that wait. You are so much more than I could have ever hoped for, I couldn’t have picked better if the Goddess herself let me choose.” Our bodies have moved closer with the string of the bond pulling us. She puts her hand on my wrist rubbing her thumb over the back of my hand, her eyes flutter. “How do you know it’s me.” She whispers to me, she is hesitating. “Don’t you feel this? The pull? The sparks between us?” I don’t give her the chance to answer. I’m too far gone when I place my lips on hers. It is like fireworks exploding on the fourth of July, the feel of her, her very taste is intoxicating.
She doesn’t pull away from me, instead, she pushes against me with her own needs. I lick her bottom lip seeking access and she grants it, opening her mouth for me to plunge my tongue in, tangling it with hers. She moans softly for me to swallow it down. Her hand comes up to rub my jawline before moving to the nape of my neck curling her fingers in my hair. My arm motions to pull her closer but the center console is dividing us. She breaks away first and we both pant trying to refill our lungs with air.
The glass of the windows has fogged over from the heat we are creating clashing with the chilling air outside. The sounds of our hearts thundering in our chests and our scents mixing into one has my canines piercing my tongue. I have to swallow down the taste of copper. Shutting my eyes and breathing through my nose I can’t gain back control. I can feel my nails elongating. The need for her is driving me past the breaking point. I can’t. It’s too much.
I hear the horn honking telling us her car is ready. Her lips are swollen. A small pink tongue comes out to lick them, her eyes hooded flutter close before she inhales, holding it before exhaling. Her eyes slowly open but the hunger in them is still there. “I have to go,” she tells me but she doesn’t move. If she keeps looking at me like that I may just take her in this truck. “I have to go.” She says this time only it starts to sink in what is happening. I can feel her lust turn to panic.
She reaches for the door but I grab her arm. “Wait, Sophia. I don’t mean to frighten you or come off as creepy. This isn’t how I pictured telling you.” Pleading with her to understand. Give me a chance. She looks away from me “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Its whispered before she is out of the truck and I can’t say another word. I have to give her space and hope she accepts me. If this is how she took this, how is she going to react when I tell her what I am? The thought scares me. I’m terrified to ever even mention it to her. Could I do that? Could I never tell her that truth? The wolf sounds out deep his aggression towards me and bites at my bones. He will not be suppressed. He wants her, he wants to know her and for her to know him. He wants to see her more. Have his time with her.
She deserves to know even if it means she doesn’t want me, if she is afraid of me. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone to withhold this. I just don’t think I can handle losing her.
I’m too tired to shower when I get home. My thoughts consume my energy. Scott is sitting at the table waiting for me so we can talk.
“What’s going on, what happened today Cage.” He is gentle when he speaks, I already know they talked before he and I had the chance. I can’t focus on what he wants to know and hear. “I told Sophia the truth about her being my soulmate.” I have to talk about this with someone and I don’t want to wake Grams. He looks shocked.
“Did you tell her you’re a werewolf?” He asks the more important question.
I shake my head no. “Too much too soon. We kissed. When everything clicked into place for her she started to freak out and left.” My shoulders sag. I wish I knew what she was thinking. He looks out the front window into the darkness. Silence settles between us.
“What are you thinking?” His voice disrupts my internal carnage. I put my head in my hands swaying back and forth. “I don’t know.” I’m afraid. That’s the biggest thought running through my mind. I’m afraid she won’t want me and I’ll be lost. I can’t have anyone else even if I wanted to, she is it for me.
I feel Scott give my shoulder a squeeze. “It’ll work out how it is supposed to, the Goddess has a plan.” He tells me. His faith is stronger than mine at this moment. It’s hard to believe that everything will work out. “I spoke with the females as you probably have already guessed. I was going to wait to hear your end of it but something tells me they aren’t telling me everything. Dad wants to speak with us all about what is going on. I’m sorry but you won’t be able to go to the wildlife reserve tomorrow.” He tells me regretfully. “Hopefully we will end the meeting soon and have you there for lunch but I can’t make any promises. I have to get back home, you gonna be okay man.”
I nod my head. Will I be okay?
The click of the door closing shut has my thoughts running with the new thoughts. What is going to happen tomorrow?