Over the next few days I heard words like, 'primary blast injury' 'severe pulmonary contusion' 'late diagnosis' and of course 'fatal', basically Tyler sustained severe damage to his lungs from the blast and by the time they discovered it, there was nothing they could do.
We buried Tyler on a Friday as the sun shone bright in a crystal blue sky. It had taken all my strength to make it through the past few days, focusing on my children and trying to be a good mother. At night I dreamed of Tyler, begging him to come back to me, He would touch my face before he would tell me "I can't baby, I tried so hard to fight, but it hurt, god it hurt". Most nights I would wake screaming or crying in pain from my breaking heart, in pain from the hurt Tyler told me he felt in my dreams and after the first few nights Jackson gave up returning to his bed and crawled in next to me.
I ran my hands over the shiny dark oak coffin that held the body of my 22 year old husband, They had asked me if I wanted to see him one last time before he was cremated and I refused, however he looked inside this box was not the Tyler I wanted to remember.
"You lied to me Ty" I spoke as if he were standing right next to me "You told me you would always come home to me, you told me forever" The tears fell over my cheeks " All our plans Tyler, I don't know how I do this without you" I fell backwards on the seat staring at the wooden box as if it was going to answer me,
"Star" Jackson sat next to me, taking my hand in his, I rested my head on his shoulder
"Jackson, I don't know how to do this without him" he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him
"Skye, you are doing this without him" I lifted my head, my blurry vision trying to focus on Jackson "Skye, I know you loved Tyler more than anything, I also know he felt the same way for you. What you and Tyler have is the kind of love people search their whole lives for, you - you guys stumbled on it at a party, you fell for people you had known your whole lives" he took a deep breath "You've been doing this without Tyler everyday, you have been raising your kids, being the best Mum you could possibly be" he touched my pregnant belly "I know its not the same Star, he isn't somewhere fighting and he won't return home this time, but Tyler loved you, he loved your heart and your soul, he loved you for your beauty, Tyler loved you for your strength Skye and you can do this - and I will be with you Star, every step, always and forever.