It was strange for Lyra, watching Remus Lupin. Of course, she had watched him many times before, trying to figure out what kind of young man he truly was. She thought she had him figured out, but she had been very wrong.
Remus Lupin was far from easy to figure out, and Lyra cursed herself for believing he was. He was always strange, and he had always kept his distance before the year they became prefects together.
And even then, he always seemed like he was keeping some secrets. Whenever he looked ill, he would say it was nothing and it would pass quickly. There were some nights where he couldn't patrol, though they were few and far between. Still, she was never offered an explanation.
The worst part though, was his nickname. Because she had no other explanations, she accepted James's dumb explanation about him acting like a mum and having an O in Astronomy. If she hadn't felt so dumb, she would have laughed.
Because, of course he was a werewolf. If she hadn't been so stupid, she could have realized that long ago. And perhaps if she hadn't been so strangely prejudiced, maybe she would have accepted it, too.
Lyra hadn't thought of herself as very prejudiced in a long time. In comparison with most of the people she spent time with, she was an open-minded miracle. She hadn't ever bullied a muggleborn or a half-blood, even if she was a bit scared of muggles.
But it had been a cruel awakening to find out that one of her best friends was a half-breed, one of the things that she had been raised to fear the most. Werewolves were creatures used to frighten children into making their beds or not talking back to their parents.
Werewolves weren't supposed to be friends. And yet, in Lyra's eyes, Remus Lupin had been a friend before he had been a werewolf. That was why it was so strange, because the two couldn't be the same person. Remus and werewolf didn't work together.
Yet, it had to. Because it was him who had almost attacked her and Snape in the Shrieking Shack (which she later found out was where they had been), it was him who had been strangely absent on days there were full moons. It was him who had kept secrets.
Because while she knew he kept things from her, she never believed they were secrets of his own. She always thought it was one of James's, Sirius's or Peter's, ones that weren't his place to tell.
But it was Remus who had secrets, who was the mysterious, dark one. Ever since their first day of fifth year, Lyra believed Remus was a source of light that could impossibly be as perfect as he was. She was right.
There was a darkness hidden behind the light, only shown to those he trusted beyond any others. It was hurtful to know she hadn't made the cut, even if she now understood why. She didn't react the way he would have wanted either way.
In a way, she was the same. James had told her there was a light in her that he hadn't always known. Both Remus and Sirius had always seemed to believe she was more innocent than she truly was. They didn't know the underlying doubt and darkness that hid underneath her golden locks.
Though, she wasn't sure who she was in their eyes anymore. James still put her on a pedestal she felt she didn't deserve to be on. Peter had given her criticism that struck her to her very core. But both Remus and Sirius were now wildcards.
That was what made her so nervous as she watched him, trying to keep from tapping her fingers on the desk in front of her, knowing that the sound annoyed him. Annoying him wouldn't be the best bet for their conversation.
Remus had asked his new favorite Professor, Professor Dowson, if he could borrow his classroom. Since the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had taken the young Gryffindor under his wing, he couldn't refuse.
Lyra had finished her essay on Dementors, and she had already asked Remus if he could read it over, which was exactly what he was doing. He was also underlining things, which made her a bit nervous.
Remus smiled as he put the essay down. "Alright, it's pretty good. There were a few mistakes, but that's because it's outdated information. I underlined it. But overall, it's already E-quality. If you corrected these things, it will be an easy O."
"Thanks," the blonde said hesitantly, reaching out to grab her essay. She was considering reading it over to figure out what she had done wrong, but she found herself looking at Remus instead.
"So..." she trailed off, awkwardly scratching the back of her neck. She already regretted it, as she had no idea what she was going to say, so when she forced something out, it became even more awkward. "How have you been?"
Remus didn't react to how awkwardly she said, instead he was only looking at her strangely, as if he was trying to figure her out, like she had with him already. "Depends. Do you want the truth or the lie?"
That gave Lyra enough of an answer. But she didn't want him to feel like he couldn't talk to her. Because as she looked at him, she saw Remus. Not a werewolf. "Do you trust me enough to give me the truth?"
"Do you trust me enough to hear it?" he retorted. It was an unusual look on his face. While he usually had a smile while looking at her, he was only frowning. "Because I don't know if I can tell you if you're going to be scared of me forever."
"I don't know," Lyra said honestly, looking down so she didn't have to see the inevitably sad look on his face by her confession. "I haven't exactly experienced this before, and I don't want to give you any false hope."
As she looked up at him, he was nodding. He seemed to have expected this reaction, but that didn't mean that it hurt him any less. "Well, thank you for that, at least."
They were both quiet, and the Slytherin hesitated before speaking up. "I know this is totally out of place for me to ask. But would you mind telling me your story? If you don't trust me enough to tell it, then I completely understand."
"My dad used to work at the Ministry," Remus started his story, refusing to meet her eyes. "A werewolf named Fenrir Greyback was on trial back then, he had murdered two children. He pretended to be an unimportant muggle, but Dad knew differently. He knew he was a werewolf."
Lyra listened intently, hearing how Remus seemed to hate telling the story, but didn't want to stop. "Greyback got off. Dad said something about how he deserved nothing but death. Greyback didn't like that."
"I was in bed, sleeping. Then he came through the window, ready to take his revenge." Taking a deep, shaky breath, Remus gripped his own hands to keep from shaking. "Dad made sure he didn't kill me. But he couldn't stop him from infecting me."
"My parents refused to believe it. Their little boy, a werewolf," the Gryffindor scoffed, closing his eyes to keep tears from building up in his eyes. "They took me to all these healers, but there's no cure for Lycanthropy."
It broke her heart to see him this vulnerable, which he had never been before. "We started moving around a lot, so nobody noticed there was something off about me. Mum and Dad made sure I stayed home most of the time, just to be sure."
He continued, still not looking at her. "During full moons, Dad locked me in a room and cast several Silencing charms. But as I got older, I got stronger. They were worried they couldn't keep me contained for much longer. I was knocking down doors and breaking windows."
"Dad tried to home-school me, because none of us thought I would ever go to Hogwarts," Remus revealed sadly. "We all thought I was far too dangerous for that. But one day, Professor Dumbledore came to our house."
"He knew I was a werewolf. Supposedly, he'd heard about Greyback bragging about it from some of his spies. Imagine bragging about turning a child into a monster." He shook his head in disbelief.
But, a small smile still came to his face. "He said I could go to Hogwarts, that he would personally make sure I wasn't a danger to the other students. And he did. That's why I go to the Shrieking Shack every full moon, and I go there through the Whomping Willow. I'm the reason they planted it."
His smile widened a bit in affection as he began thinking about his best friends. "And I quickly became friends with James, Sirius and Peter. They were the best friends that I had always wanted. But I still didn't tell them, coming up with stupid excuses about my mum being sick and that's why I left so often."
"But you know the boys." Lyra nodded at his words, smiling sadly. "They're geniuses, even when they don't seem like it. Already in second year they figured it out. And when I thought they would abandon me, they did the exact opposite."
"That's why they wanted to become Animagi," the Gryffindor revealed. "To help me through my transformation. And when Sirius asked you to help us, I was terrified that they would tell you or that you would figure it out. Especially when we became prefects together."
"But then you became my friend. But I didn't want anybody to know. This is a part of me that I didn't want you to see, because I was afraid you wouldn't want to be around me anymore. I suppose I was right," he said, surprisingly bitter.
While Lyra couldn't help but feel guilt at the way she had abandoned him, there were many more emotions at play as she heard the Lupin boy's story. Mostly, she felt sad for him. "How old were you? When you were turned, I mean?"
"Almost five."
At that reveal, Lyra closed her eyes and shook her head, thinking about how disgusting Fenrir Greyback was. "You were so young. You've barely even known a life without lycanthropy. Not one you remember, at least."
Remus nodded, turning his head away so he didn't have to look at her and see her reaction to the story, even if he could hear it. Lyra still kept her gaze on him, waiting for him to look back. "Were you ever lonely?"
"Before I came here, to Hogwarts, I don't know if there was a moment where I wasn't lonely." Again, his words kept breaking her heart. He didn't deserve this pain. "And then I met the boys and they changed everything."
"Sirius tried to talk to me about you, to make me forgive you. I just... I thought you'd like to know that," Lyra blurted out, but immediately regretting it as she knew that Remus still hadn't forgiven her cousin.
"The boys aren't perfect, I know that," the Gryffindor sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "They've made a lot of mistakes, but I've never found it within me to be angry at them. I was always too scared that they would leave me, but what Sirius did..."
"It hurt," the Slytherin girl finished thoughtfully, nodding in understanding.
Finally, Remus looked up to meet her eyes and she found herself looking at his scars, now knowing they weren't from him falling down the stairs a few too many times. "Yeah. More than I'd like to admit."
She didn't know what to say after that. Instead, she just looked at him, studying him once again. The story he had told her had made her mind spin, because it was strange to think about a werewolf as a victim. But this wasn't just a werewolf, this was Remus.
"Why are you staring?" he asked, but not in a way that suggested he was creeped out by it. She respected that, because she probably would have been if she was in his situation.
"Because..." Lyra looked away for a second, gathering her thoughts so she could give a good answer. "Because I just need to look at you. I need to remember the boy who was my friend. No, who was my best friend."
"I know it's far from the same, but part of me does understand," the blonde said, pushing a strand of stray hair behind her ear. "While I've never really been alone like you have, I've always been lonely."
"But then you came along. You were my first real friend, who saw me as Lyra the person. You didn't just see Lyra of the House of Black," she said the last words mockingly, making him chuckle deeply.
"And it was really hard to find out that you have lied to me for as long as we have been friends." His smile faded as she once again got serious. "And, let's not forget, I've heard all these stories about the dangers of muggles, monsters and half-breeds from my parents."
"I could never have imagined caring about..." she hesitated, not sure how to refer to his condition. "One of your kind. And I don't really understand this, or what's really going on here, with either you or me."
Smiling softly, she reached out to take a hold of his hand. "But even if I couldn't have imagined caring about a werewolf, I will always care about you. Because you're Remus Lupin. And I love you. Because of that, I'll try my best to accept this part of. But I can't do that if you can't accept that this won't be easy for me. But I'm trying. I really am."
Remus sniffed and looked down. It was all so she wouldn't see his tears, that he couldn't hold back. He didn't like crying in front of people, but he couldn't help it this time. It wasn't easy for Lyra to keep tears from her own eyes because of it.
"Life hasn't been kind to you, has it?" Lyra asked carefully. He didn't respond with words, but those words made sure that he could no longer hold back his sobs, the sound of which made her want to sob herself. But this wasn't about her. "I'm so sorry, Remus."
He quickly ripped his hand out of hers, standing up from his chair. He couldn't handle her watching him cry anymore, so he turned away while not saying a word as she looked at him, a tear falling.
But Lyra wasn't about to let him turn away from her anymore. She quietly stood up and walked so she was facing him. She hesitated, not knowing if he would be comfortable. But because she wanted to be there for him, she hurriedly wrapped her arms around him.
"I hope you can forgive me," Lyra said against his chest, feeling him taking shaky breaths as he wrapped his arm around her back. "And I hope that you can forgive Sirius, too. Because I don't want you to be lonely anymore. If those boys are your happiness then you need to let it in. Can you do that? For me?"
Remus didn't respond for a few seconds, but she could feel that he had stopped crying. He kissed her hair for a quick second before resting his chin on the top of her head, whispering. "I love you, Lyra."
And while she had just been crying, she couldn't keep from smiling into his hug as she responded. "I love you, too, Remus."
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A/N: So, Lyra and Remus have finally made up! It was a pain to write them being apart, but I'm so glad that's over. Also, I just really wanted to say how excited I am for the next chapter, because it's going to be one of my favorites. Let's just say that Slughorn has a pretty fun Christmas party.