Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was a dream come true for Lyra Black. Suddenly she was surrounded by people she had either known for most of her life, or the new friends she had quickly made, both in her own year and in the older ones. She had always been excited for what school would bring but she was happier than she ever thought she could be.
Except for one thing.
Throughout the first week or so of school, while Lyra was settling in, she had somehow managed to avoid talking to Sirius. If he ever approached her, usually with James and sometimes their two roommates in a tow, she would come up with some excuse about being busy. She wasn't sure if he believed her, but it was enough to keep him away for the time being.
But in the end, no excuse would be able to keep him away from his favorite cousin forever. And she knew it, but she really had to no idea what she would say to him if given the chance. How did she feel about him being a Gryffindor? He would be surrounded by people related to muggles and their supporters. Honestly, it scared her.
But she felt herself calm down as she sat on a bench in the hall, reading the letter she had gotten from her parents at breakfast, expressing their pride in her for getting into Slytherin and that Bellatrix sends her love, and would probably send a letter for her and their sisters soon.
The part that stood out to her was: In addition we heard about the Sirius situation. We would prefer for you to not interact more with him than absolutely necessary until your Uncle Orion and Aunt Walburga decide how to deal with it. It sort of bothered Lyra how they wrote as if he was a dog who had misbehaved instead of a human being who was simply not able to get into their most treasured house.
"Is that from your parents?" a voice suddenly asked from above her. She quickly glanced up, meeting Sirius's gaze. He sent her a half-smile, as if he was nervous going up to talk to her.
"Yeah." She quickly nodded, glancing around the room to see if there were any escape routes. Unfortunately, unless she would hit someone in the face to get yelled at and detention, there was no way out of this conversation with Sirius.
"Can I sit?"
"Well, it's not taken. Suit yourself." He sat down next to her, sending what he thought was a discreet thumbs up towards James, who was not quite well hidden behind one of the statues.
For a few seconds, they sat there in awkward silence. Sirius glanced towards her, hoping she would start the conversation. They had never been like this, as they had always easily slipped into hour-long conversations. But he had no idea where she stood with his sorting, but he could only hope she wasn't judging him as harshly as he knew some family members were. "Green suits you."
Lyra subconsciously started straightening her green Slytherin tie. She glanced at his scarlet-colored one, but quickly looked up to meet his eyes instead. She wished he had the ideals and promise to have gotten into Slytherin, as she had. "I know."
Sirius hoped she would say something more, but she then turned her head away. He could see what she was doing. Her chin high, her gaze cold and her lips pursed. It was the look he always saw on his parents when they walked past a bunch of muggles or people of lower social status.
Lyra did her best not to look at him, because if she was being honest, she wasn't quite angry with him. She was hurt. Hurt that after all their talk of sticking together at school, spending their seven years together and becoming closer than they ever were, he went and got himself sorted into Gryffindor, the house for the worst of the worst according to her family.
"Are you angry or something? You've been avoiding me ever since the sorting," Sirius asked, trying to get a bit of a reaction from her.
Her expression stayed as cold as it had been since he walked up to her. "I'm not angry. If I was angry, that would imply that I care about what goes on with you. I don't. I don't think I should have to anymore."
Sirius scoffed, looking at his blonde cousin incredulously. Because he knew that after the sorting, many people in his family would blame him and cast him out. But he never expected Lyra to be one of them. "Why? Because I'm not a backwards, overly traditional Slytherin git?"
"Oh, so that's how you see me?" Lyra turned to look at him, and for once her face betrayed emotion. Sirius wasn't able to decipher whether it was anger or hurt though. "Look, you can be as angry as you want that you didn't get into Slytherin. Don't take that out on me just because you didn't have it in you."
"I didn't have it in me? You sound more and more like Bellatrix or our parents every day," he hissed, and Lyra didn't think she had ever seen him this mad at her. "You wanna know a secret, since you're supposedly so much better than me? I was walking up to the sorting hat praying that he would put me in Gryffindor. Actually, more anything that wasn't Slytherin. Anywhere that would keep me from becoming like our family. I never thought you'd become one of them, too."
Lyra's face faltered at the reveal. She couldn't imagine him not wanting to spend his years at Hogwarts with her, in the same house. They had talked about it for as long as she could remember. "I hate you. Don't ever talk to me again."
She stood up abruptly, storming away. Sirius was left shaking in an emotion he couldn't decipher. They had barely been at school for a week and he had already lost his entire family, and he was alright with losing most of them.
But not Lyra. He thought she would understand. She knew that he spent his life dreaming of freedom from all the pressures and expectations that surrounded them. If he would been sorted into Slytherin, he would have to live three years with Narcissa breathing down his neck and the rest of them scared of what would get back to their family.
He would have always been watched, terrified to do anything wrong. Sirius had gotten tired of trying to be the perfect son years ago, but his parents had tried to put him back on the path they deemed righteous. They never managed it. But he could talk to Lyra, and even though she didn't always agree, she was always supportive.
But Sirius Black was prepared to move on. He had new friends now. Him and James were quick friends and they were managing to pull along their two roommates Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew along with them for the most part.
But he felt a special connection with James, which he was sure he felt in return. James saw what had happened, and he had even heard a bit of their converasation. He slowly walked over to sit next to his new friend.
Sirius only sighed, trying to hide his emotions. Nobody but Lyra had ever wanted to hear how he felt before anyway. "Well, that went well."
"If she's going to act like this then she really isn't worth it, mate," James comforted him. He was never really good at comforting people, so he patted Sirius's back. "Why should we even bother with those prejudiced Slytherin wankers?"
"That's the spirit, James," Sirius genuinely laughed, standing up with a huge grin. "But I'm thinking we start with those Hufflepuff dolts instead. I heard there's a fourth year who'll bring back things from Hogsmeade for first and second years. I'm thinking we'll get some dungbombs."
James let out a hearty laugh. "I love the way your mind works."
▹▹▹
Crying wasn't something Lyra was used to doing. Usually when she cried in front of her family, Bellatrix and her father in particular, she was told to grow up. Whenever she felt the urge to cry, she had learned to do it where nobody could see her. At Hogwarts, it was hard to find somewhere she wasn't surrounded by students who would love calling her a wimpy first year.
The only place she had even heard of that might bring her some notion of privacy was the second-floor girls' bathroom, which nobody went to unless they wanted to be tormented by the ghost Moaning Myrtle, who seemed to hate everyone who wasn't a cute boy.
But Lyra wasn't as bothered with the thought of being taunted by a ghost who didn't know anything about her as being tormented by those who didn't want to hear her crying over Sirius Black.
Carelessly, she threw the doors of the bathroom open as harshly as she could with the strength of a twig. She had expected it to be empty, as Andromeda had told her that nobody dared go in there and the eleven-year-old girl shouldn't either.
How strange it was that the exact person who told her to stay away from this place was the one who was standing in the middle of the room, jumping away from a tall boy wearing Hufflepuff robes Lyra didn't recognize.
"Andy?" Lyra breathed, blinking away her tears.
Andromeda turned to glance at the boy next to her, as if she was hoping he would help her find a response to her younger sister finding them together. He looked a bit surprised but much calmer than her. "Lyra, this isn't what it looks like."
"I don't even know what this looks like," the blonde breathed, narrowing her eyes at the Hufflepuff boy, who sent her an awkward smile. "Who in the bloody hell is this guy?"
"Lyra! Don't swear!"
"Sorry." She sheepishly looked down. "Wait, no, I'm not. Who is this guy and why were you two so close? Were you snogging?"
Andromeda looked absolutely flabbergasted, pulling her hair away from her face. "How do you know what snogging is? You're only eleven! It was Cissy, wasn't it? Of course it was, she's always talking about boys."
"Eh, Dromeda..." The boy raised an eyebrow at the seventeen-year-old girl, as if to remind her that she was getting off subject. She smiled at him a bit, her eyes softening in a way Lyra had never seen before.
Lyra's eyes widened at the new nickname, breathing heavily because she was very confused as to what was happening. "What did he just call you?"
Andromeda rolled her eyes. She knew her younger sister had just gotten influenced by the ay their family was so possessive of one another, but it frankly still annoying. "It's just a nickname, Lyra. Calm down."
"Perhaps I should introduce myself," the boy nervously spoke up, ignoring the fierce glares he got from each of the Black sisters. "I'm Edward Tonks, but people just call me Ted. I'm a seventh-year Hufflepuff and I'm very pleased to meet you."
"Tonks?" Lyra repeated, disgusted. "Is that a muggle name?"
Awkwardly, Ted looked away without answering. That as enough of a response for young Lyra, who let out a gag. Andromeda pursed her lips, giving her younger sister a disapproving look. "Yes, Ted is muggleborn. But that doesn't matter."
"He's a..." the blonde hesitated, glancing at Ted before lowering her voice into a whisper. "He's a mudblood."
While Lyra had seen Andromeda bite her tongue plenty of times when their family had said that word and worse, her gaze hardened and she clenched her jaw angrily this time. "Lyra Cassiopeia Black! Don't ever use that word again. It's a horrible, disgusting word. I'm so sorry, Ted."
"It's fine, Dromeda," Ted assured her, taking her hand with a small, kind smile. "You did warn me about this. And she's just a kid, she doesn't really understand what she's saying. Just what your family taught her."
"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Lyra hissed, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm not a child, I'm eleven. I know perfectly well what I'm talking about. But, Andy... Why would you do this? It's so..."
"I don't expect you to understand." Andromeda sighed, calming down as she gripped Ted's hand tighter. "But I love him, Lyra. Maybe one day you will feel the same way, and then I hope you don't give a damn about what is supposed to be right according to our family."
The tears Lyra had been fighting for losing Sirius were returning, because now she felt like she was losing Andromeda as well. "It's wrong."
"No, it's not. Love is never wrong, sweetheart." The older sister released her boyfriend's hand and walked over to Lyra, looking at her pleadingly. "You know me, Lyra. You've known me your whole life. You don't understand yet, but I pray that you will. One day, maybe. Ted is a good man, and talented wizard. He's one of the best in our year. His blood status doesn't affect that."
"But that doesn't make any sense," the blonde muttered. She had been taught that because muggles weren't far from animals themselves, their children and descendants never had quite the brains or magical ability that purebloods did. And they were supposed to be viscious and cruel, not good people that her most sensible sister, Andy, would fall for.
"I would never do anything to hurt your sister, Lyra," Ted promised, sending the young, confused girl a hesitant smile. "I know you'll find it hard to believe, considering how you were raised. But I intend on being a good man for Andromeda. I hope you'll be able to respect that, even if you can't respect me."
Now with tears in her eyes, Andromeda leaned down to be at eye level with her sister, pleading. "Please, Ly. Don't tell anybody. Not mum, dad, Cissy or Bella. Or anybody else."
"You'll have to tell them eventually," Lyra weakly pointed out.
"I know. But not today. Please."
The youngest Black sister, turned away so she didn't have to look at her sister's tearful face. "I love you, Andy. I don't understand this, or why you're doing this. But I trust you like I always have, and I refuse to lose you. I'll leave this in your hands. Tonks, you promise to keep her safe no matter what happens?"
With a determined look on his face, Ted nodded. "I swear on my life."
Lyra nodded and saw the relief dawn on Andromeda's face. "But I don't want to see you together. Not right now."
"I understand," Andromeda agreed.
Lyra turned around, about to leave them to their bathroom snog. Quickly, she turned her head to look at them, offering them the tiniest of smiles. "Well, good night to you both."
Andromeda couldn't fight the large grin on her face, knowing that was as close to acceptance she was going to get from her sister. She wrapped her arms around Ted's neck and pulled him close, kissing him while she giggled.
▹▹▹
There weren't many certainties in Lyra's life. For the past year, after the war broke out, she had been faced with the odd feeling that nothing could last forever. On some level, she understood it. But there were some things she didn't think she'd ever lose.
Her parents were two constant figures in her life, and she couldn't imagine the world without them. Now she was about to spend most of her time with them far away for years. For the past few weeks, she had been able to hide her tears in the middle of the night when all she wanted was her mother.
Her older sisters were supposed to be a constant pillar for her to hang onto when she was on the edge of disaster. Of course, they usually spent their time together at Hogwarts for the past years while she left alone at home. Now Bellatrix had graduated and Lyra had come to the realization that although she had hoped to become closer to Narcissa, she had her own friends and her own life to deal with. She couldn't spend all her time with her little sister.
And then there was Andromeda. She was supposed to be perfect. The only Black sister who had become prefect, who had all the right friends, perfectly alright grades and even had Lucius Malfoy rumored to ask for her hand in marriage once he graduated. But that wasn't who Andy truly was. She was the surprising rebel, in love with a man who was the opposite of all her family stood for. Lyra had come to the crushing realization that she never truly knew her sister at all.
But worst of all was Sirius. When she didn't have her sisters, when they spent all their time at school and were only able to include her during the holidays, she always had Sirius. Now, even though he was as close to her as he had always been, he had never been further away.
He was a Gryffindor. Surrounded by everyone who Lyra had been taught to hate. Everyone he was taught to hate. The worst part is that he enjoyed it, he had wanted it all this time. He was surrounded by dirty blood and had accepted them as if they were his own. If that wasn't the recipe for a blood traitor, then what was?
Then Lyra thought about Ted Tonks, a muggleborn. She had only met him briefly, but he had promised with such fervor that he would never hurt her sister. Her smart, sensible sister who would never fall for a bad man. Then again, he was raised by muggles, the evil monsters from her bedtime stories.
Although Sirius wasn't known for being sensible, he had always been dependable and guarded and wouldn't offer his trust to somebody who didn't deserve it. Every day she saw him laughing with muggleborns and spending time with half-bloods as if they were equals. They had somehow earned the least bit of trust from him. And when she envisioned him, with his lop-sided grin and fluffy hair, she didn't see the traitorous glare of a blood traitor. She only saw Sirius.
Lyra sighed, knowing she was giving herself a headache from thinking about all these questions. Finally, she was Narcissa sitting alone by the common room fireplace. A gang of other first year Slytherins were chatting and suddenly waved. She sent them a short smile.
Lyra still headed in her blonde sister's direction, ignoring them calling her over to join them. She plopped down next to her, smiling brightly as she saw a book in her Narcissa's hands. "What're you reading, Cissy?"
Narcissa held the book up so Lyra could see its title easily. "My Herbology text book. We're being tested in some things next week and I have to be prepared if I'm going to get a good grade for O.W.L.s."
"Oh, good luck then." Lyra looked down awkwardly, wondering how she was going to ask the questions she had been walking around with. "Look, I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I'm just confused. There are quite a few muggleborns and half-bloods in my year and they haven't really been mean or any worse at magic than most purebloods."
She stared at the fire, ignoring Narcissa's burning gaze. "And I mean, I hear the whispers about Sirius, calling him a blood traitor for being sorted into Gryffindor and hanging around with half-bloods and muggleborns. But it's still Sirius, right? We've grown up with him, he doesn't seem like the sort of person our parents told us blood traitors were."
Once she realized the eleven-year-old was done talking, Narcissa took a deep breath as if she was trying to quell her anger. "Look, Lyra. I don't know where this is coming from, but you need to get these thoughts out of your head. I will overlook them because you're so young. But I'll advise you to never mention these thoughts of yours to another person in our family. Especially not to Bella. I'm afraid she wouldn't be quite so forgiving."
Slamming her book shut, she left Lyra to do her own thinking. It didn't take her long to realize that maybe Narcissa didn't really have an answer to her questions and that's why she got so angry instead of explaining their ideals to her.
She couldn't help but wonder about the dangers of following beliefs of hatred blindly. But she knew that unless she wanted to be blasted off the family tree one day, like Iola, Cedrella and Marius Black had been years before her.
Perhaps she didn't always have to agree to everything her family had to say, but she didn't now if she believed in what Andromeda and Sirius believed in either. Mostly she was just confused, and hoped time would give her the answers she were looking for.