(one big mess)
"I KNOW YOU WERE IN THE BATHROOM."
When Sarah Hepburn had marched into the library, her face stoney and unreadable, making a beeline for Livia's table, Livia's heart had stilled. Livia recognised this expression. She saw it on herself in the mirror when she herself is angry at others.
But instead of yelling, that was all Sarah said as she pulled out the chair across Livia's seat, her voice barely above a hushed whisper. Livia frowned, looking up from her study notes, feigning innocence: "Which bathroom?"
"You don't need to lie to me- I recognise your shoes."
Well, fuck. Still, Livia fixed the girl with a curious stare, her head slightly tilted, and the two girls stayed that way for a little bit. Silence was intimidating. Powerful, even. Neither girls squirmed or looked away, recognising this game.
"Is it illegal for me to go to the lavatory now?"
"I'm not a dictator, Wong."
"Never said you were," Livia quipped, turning back to her notes. "What do you want, Hepburn? Don't waste my time now- I gotta study. Unlike you, I'm not an academic genius who doesn't need to study to achieve good grades."
"You think I don't study?" Sarah glowered, her arms crossed, back straight. "I just want to talk."
"I'll assume your definition of 'talk' isn't normal chatting. You want something. What is it?"
"I told you. The bathroom."
"The bathroom isn't your territory," Livia frowned, looking up from her textbook. "I can go whenever I want to."
"I'm not saying you can't go into the bathroom. I want to discuss with you what you saw- heard in the bathroom, Livia."
"Oh," Livia said, as if it had finally struck her, "you meant you crying?"
Sarah flinched at her uncoated words, but nodded. "Yes. Me... crying. In the bathroom."
"There's nothing embarrassing or sad about that," Livia deadpanned, "Like, I'm a sucky person, but not that sucky."
"Hard to tell these days," Sarah retorted with a snort. "Anyways, uh, you didn't... tell anyone, did you?"
"Why would I?" Livia frowned. "It's not my problem. It's yours to deal with- and it's your story to tell. I'm not going to start spreading rumours and stories of you. I'm not Pamela."
"You are literally a replica of your sister," Sarah groaned. "Stop lying to yourself, you're being a total hypocrite."
"Says the girl getting mad at me for doing the exact things she does."
"I don't- you are impossible, Livia Wong."
"Hey, don't blame me!" Livia yelped, holding up her hands. "You're the one wanting to talk to me!"
"I don't want to talk to you! I'm talking to you so that you'll promise me you won't tell anyone!"
"Tell anyone what?"
At this point, Livia can tell that Sarah is absolutely sick of her, but that doesn't mean she's going to stop. In fact, it only encouraged her to enrage Sarah further.
"About what happened in the bathroom!"
"Oh, you mean you crying in the bathroom and talking to yourself?" Livia asked, feigning genuineness. Steam was practically pillowing out of Sarah's ears, her fists clenched as she sucked in a deep inhale.
"I wasn't talking to myself!"
"Oh, so it's not that?"
"Yes it's that!"
"So you agree that you were talking to yourself!"
"What? No!" Sarah exclaimed, waving her hands around. A surreptitious smile appeared on Livia's face- time to break Sarah Hepburn.
"But you said yes."
"I meant yes to not tell anyone about me crying bit!"
Livia shrugged innocently. "Should have clarified, missy."
Sarah raised a finger. "Do not call me that."
"Can't stop me," Livia retorted, slamming her textbook shut. Without an excuse for being distracted, Livia stared Sarah in the eye, unflinching and unwavering. "Listen up, Hepburn. I won't tell anyone about your bullshit, and in return, you stay the fuck out of my business! Understood?"
"What about when your business interferes with mine?"
"Sarah, we don't even hang out in the same crowd anymore. We've been up each other's ass- not that way, I'm not homosexual, you're bi but whatever- since I came back. My business doesn't interfere with yours. Ever. Stop trying to insert your ass into my shit, no one likes it."
"Then stay the heck out of mine too, Wong."
"I'm not the one who waltzed in here looking for trouble, Sarah. Wake up, you piece of shit."
"So now I'm the shitty one?" Sarah growled, slamming her fists against the table. Around them, a few students shuffled uncomfortably, sensing the incoming storm. "You are delusional, Wong. Absolutely unbelievable. You are so self-centred and arrogant, and I thought I was bad."
"You are bad. Everything you call me, you're calling yourself. You. Me. Pamela. We're more similar than you want to admit, but I know you know that. Stop trying to make me 'learn'. Teach yourself the right thing first, Hepburn."
"You know what the difference between the two of us is? I know I'm bad-"
"-did you even listen to a word I said?"
Sarah was as red as a cherry tomato, her skin the same shade as her hair. "I- you-"
"Me. You. She. Her. They. Us. Anything else?"
Without an answer, Sarah pushed her chair away from the table and stormed out of the library, yanking the glass doors open with a rageful pull. Livia sighed, shoving her pen back into her pencil case. At that very moment, Brie walked into the library, frowning. Livia met Brie's quizzical stare, offering a short shrug.
"Hey... Football practise ended earlier today, and my brother hasn't picked me up yet- what the hell happened with Sarah?"
"Don't bother asking," Livia heaved. "You don't want to know."
"Do I?" Brie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Trust me, you don't."
"Humour me for a moment, Wong, because I do want to know. What happened with Sarah this time?"
"She got angry. I got angry. She got even angrier."
"It's not as simple as that."
Livia let out a chortle, glancing up. "Don't ask me. You're the expert when it comes to that girl."
"Am I?" Brie challenged, putting her backpack in the seat besides Livia.
"You know more than me, anyways," Livia shrugs. "That counts for something."
"I suppose it does," Brie agrees, nodding. "But I'm not expert. Sarah's a complex person. She's gone through a lot of shit- just as much as you, even if you don't want to admit it. You two really need to sort out your problems before this gets too far."
"It's already gone too far, Brie," Livia pointed out. "It's much too late now. What was it Olenna Tyrell said again? 'Once the cow's been milked, there's no squirting the cow back up its udder-"
"-so here we are to see things through," Brie finished with a little smile. "Livia, it's time to stop seeing the world through an enemy-or-friend, ally-or-nemesis way. The real world isn't like that. There's no victory in every war. It's not even a war sometimes."
"Everything is a competition, and whoever comes up first is the winner."
Brie shook her head, "No. No, it's not. Life is about making friends. Living it to the fullest."
"There's already two gaping holes in mine, Brie, and I'm not sure if I can fill them back up ever."
"You can. Do you want to know the problem? You're shoving it apart, because anything except pain is foreign to you," Brie whispered. "You're so used to hurting, so much it's become your default state. You don't want to stop hurting. You think it makes you human."
Livia fixed her with a steady stare. "You don't know anything about me, Carmen. I've changed. Like you, or Sarah. Even Lila."
"Unlike you, I try to track change," Brie smirked. "After a while, you see a pattern. You start managing to guess when people will be at their.. all time low. And when they'll be at their best. You? You expect everyone to be static-"
"-no I don't!" Livia argued, creasing her eyebrows. "Stop acting like you know everything about me! You don't!"
"You're acting like a small child."
"And you're acting like a preschool teacher trying to school a toddler."
"Only way to deal with a small child," Brie said as a surreptitious smile fluttered onto her oval face.
Livia didn't bother indulging in a reply.
-
last short chapter, I PROMISE. again, as I mentioned in the last chapter's author note, these three chapters have been more to link up future chapters and books than to move the book forward. i also feel like I've been underusing brie???? like she's such a badass char but I haven't written her very properly...