"Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas Gran!" Tom said, smiling warmly as he embraced her. Stepping aside, he turned, reaching to take the bag of presents from you.
"I've got it" you murmured, brushing past him to give Granny Tess a hug. "Good to see you Gran"
"You too pet" she replied, placing her hand firmly in the small of your back and propelling you down the hallway. "Come on, the boys are itching to open their presents and you two are late" she scolded.
You glanced pointedly over your shoulder, mouthing "told you so"; Tom nodded sheepishly in reply. You smirked, walking into the living room where everyone waiting.
"Sorry we're late, we had a little sleep in this morning" you said, Tom's blush deepening.
"Who cares, you're here now. Let's do this!" said Paddy, eager to rip into the pile of gifts that sat before him.
You settled on Tom's lap, all the other seats taken. His thumbs pressed firmly into the aching muscles of your lower back and you leaned into his hands, watching as everyone took turns opening their presents.
"Don't we get anything from you two?" asked Harry. All the other presents had been opened, except the gifts from you and Tom.
"No, you do. We just wanted you to open them last" you replied, handing out the presents, "and you have to open them at the same time"
The twins frowned suspiciously at you, and you checked that Tom had his poker face on. No wonder he lost so often.
"What's going on?" Sam asked.
"Just open the present bro" Tom grumbled, hiding his face between your shoulder blades.
They began to unwrap their gifts, more cautious than they had been with any of the other presents that had been opened today. The boys, Nikki and Dom frowned as they unfurled their orange t-shirts, your Dad still trying to unwrap his without tearing the paper, Granny Tess turning over the cup in her hand.
"Oh my God!" she shrieked, startling the others as she nearly dropped her gift. She looked up at you and Tom, face shocked. "Really?!"
"Really what?" Paddy asked as he and the twins examined the Dutch lion emblazoned on the front of their shirts but not the words stitched into the back.
"Really Gran" Tom said, peeking around your shoulder to look at her.
She leapt to her feet, rushing over to wrap the two of you in a fierce hug. "Oh this is wonderful, wonderful news!" she cried into your hair. You gently patted her shoulder, Tom squirming to free his head from where she had pinned him to your back.
Finally the others caught up and soon there was a cacophony of congratulations, you and Tom bombarded with hugs and handshakes. Your Dad gave you a particularly tight hug before releasing you, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles and muttering about needing a cigarette.
"How long have you known?" Nikki asked excitedly, dragging her chair next to you and Tom. Dom and the boys were already pulling on their shirts and you smiled - the orange clashed terribly with Harry and Paddy's hair.
"A while" you replied, smiling shyly, slightly uncomfortable as Nikki and Granny Tess stared at you intently. Your discomfort was made worse when Tom's hands wrapped around you to sit protectively over your stomach and you squirmed slightly.
"How far along?" Granny Tess asked, positively beaming.
"Just over 12 weeks"
"You're not showing yet!" said Nikki.
"You can tell when I don't have cloth- uh jumpers on" you covered, Tom's hands tightening over your stomach slightly.
"When do you find out the gender?" Harry asked.
"20 weeks" Tom replied. "But we don't want to know"
"Although boys seem to run in the family" you noted.
"Have you thought of any names?" Sam asked.
"Not really" you replied. "Been too sick"
"Oh, that's no good" Granny Tess murmured, frowning sympathetically.
"Is that why you cooked that plain as chicken and rice instead of letting us get takeout the other night?" Sam asked. The twins had come over for dinner and so much as a whiff of grease sent you racing for the bathroom.
"Yeah, sorry"
"Fortunately for you Y/N, we're having a delicious homemade ham for lunch!" announced Dom, the scent of roast pork filling the room.
Your gut somersaulted and you vaulted from Tom's lap, racing to the bathroom, hand clamped firmly over your mouth. Tom followed, taking hold of your hair as you retched into the toilet. You gagged a few more times before the need to empty what little contents filled your stomach abated, though your gut continued to bubble and fizz unhappily.
Tom sighed as he gently stroked your back and you didn't need to see his face to know that his brow was crinkled with concern.
"I'm fine" you mumbled, flushing the toilet and sitting on the lid, wishing the after vomit shakes would stop. "At least no one saw my impression of the girl from The Exorcist" you said, smiling weakly as Tom knelt before you, frowning as he ran his hands along your thighs. You looked up to find Nikki standing in the doorway, face similarly creased. "Oh, I'm so sorry Nikki, I didn't even think about lunch being an issue"
"Not to worry dear. We'll do our best to keep the smell away from you. Have some water" she said, handing Tom the glass before retreating back to the kitchen, telling the boys to open all the windows.
"That was dramatic" you sighed, sipping at the water. "Looks like I've ruined Christmas lunch"
"I think they'll be sympathetic Y/N. You're growing a person"
You made a face, nausea rising again. "Please don't say that. It makes me feel like a science experiment"
"Sorry. Do you want to lie down?"
"I'm okay. I'll just sit upwind of the ham"
"I wish I could do more" Tom said, brushing your cheek softly.
You shrugged, sighing dramatically in an attempt to rid the line between his brows. "The things I do" you teased, laying it on thick; it paid off, the crease fading as he rolled his eyes. "Really Handsome, it's fine, even if your spawn is constantly making me ill. I do miss burgers though. And pizza. And chips"
"Ha! Well I promise to not whinge when you wake me up at 2am because you want pickles slathered in peanut butter"
The suggestion, whilst funny, was gross and it sent you into another bout of regurgitation. You pushed Tom away as you lifted the lid of the toilet, bringing up nothing despite your stomachs best attempts.
"Sorry. I'll just shut up now" he mumbled, rubbing your back.
"Good *spit* plan" you groaned, swallowing the rest of the water and using his shoulder to stand. "Come on, we've monopolised Christmas enough"
**
You gradually became aware of the TV being on, the volume low. You opened your eyes, squinting to find the TV playing a show you didn't recognise.
Exhausted after an unsettled Christmas lunch, which consisted of you succeededing in keeping down yours and Tom's bread rolls and some roast potatoes whilst fielding well intentioned anti-nausea suggestions and pregnancy related questions and advice from Granny Tess and Nikki (despite everyone else's best efforts to turn the conversation to any other subject), you'd come home to sleep, Tom staying back to spend time with his family.
You heard the flush of the toilet and looked up from the TV to the bathroom doorway, Tom wearing nothing but his briefs.
"Hey" you mumbled, rolling onto your back as he climbed into bed.
"Sorry if I woke you, I was trying to be quiet" he said, scooping you into his arms and placing a kiss on your forehead.
"It's alright" you replied, snuggling into him as his hand moved aside your top to sit on your swelling stomach. You squirmed, hiding your face in his chest so he couldn't see the blush that rose in your cheeks.
"What is it?" he murmured, trying to see your face to judge your expression.
"It's nothing"
"Just tell me, you goose"
"No" you mumbled, voice muffled in his chest.
"I would poke you, but I don't want to hurt the baby"
"It's nothing, honestly"
Tom groaned dramatically. After some more squirming, you doing your best to cling to him like a possum, he managed to roll you off his chest and onto your back so he could look at you.
"What's up?" he asked, studying your face. You looked down, though that was a bad idea; the small rise of your stomach was clear as day, Tom's hand still firmly attached to it. "Y/N?"
"I just...feel odd"
"Odd? Odd, how?"
"I don't know. It's kinda weird to me, you always touching my stomach". Tom's hand retracted and you immediately felt guilty. "No, I mean, I like it. It's just weird"
"It's weird for me too, you know"
"I know. Going to take a bit of getting used to" you said, taking his hand and placing it back on your stomach.
"I don't have to if you don't want me to" Tom said, face earnest.
"No, I want you to, really. I - it's all just so new. Being sick all the time doesn't help much"
"Yeah that's my least favourite part" he agreed, squeezing you gently. "And your cooking's really bad at the moment"
"Not sorry about that"
"I didn't say you should be" he replied, frowning seriously. "Do you like it?"
You frowned, confused. "Like it?"
"Yeah, do you like being pregnant?"
"Uh, when I'm not vomiting it's okay" you said, feeling like there was something stuck in your throat. "I don't like thinking about it too much, if I'm honest"
"Why?"
"Kinda makes my nausea worse to think of something being inside of me"
"I thought you liked me being inside of you" he teased, a handsome smirk playing on his lips.
"Ha Ha, you know that's not what I meant smart-ass" you grumbled, playfully pushing him and sitting up. "It's starting to feel real now that I'm showing, but it's mostly just felt like I'm bloated with gastro" you continued, looking curiously at the small swell of your abdomen. "Do you like me being pregnant?"
"I guess"
"You guess?" you asked, tilting your head as you looked at him.
He shrugged nonchalantly, avoiding your gaze. "Yeah. It hasn't felt real for me either. Still kinda doesn't"
You scooted closer to him, reaching out and taking his hand to kiss his knuckles. "Want to talk about it?"
He frowned, thumb rubbing your hand as he mused.
Home only for Christmas, Tom would soon leave for Morocco to finish Cherry. Despite his undeniable pride and dedication to the project, the intensity of the shoot and the subject matter weighed heavily upon him and the stress of it wasn't aided by the significant distance between you. You'd done your best to give him something positive to look forward to, recording appointments that he couldn't FaceTime and talking to him every day, but despite your best efforts you could tell that he was growing increasingly unhappy, a new layer of dejection in his voice that was clearer each time you spoke.
When he had arrived home he'd simply grabbed hold of you tightly, carrying you to the couch where the two of you had spent hours wrapped in each other in a silent embrace, his face buried in the crook of your neck. You'd broached the topic tenderly and though he assured you that he was okay, you knew he was reaching a breaking point; something you desperately wanted to avoid.
As you grappled with your growing concern for Tom's mental health, your own was taking a hit. Work was unusually busy, which normally wouldn't bother you except with pregnancy came a fatigue the like of which you had never experienced, as well as morning sickness that reared its ugly head at the most inopportune times. By the time you got home it was all you could do to shower, make dinner that you either would bring up or not finish and crawl into bed. More than once you'd fallen asleep on FaceTime with Tom, which you felt guilty about despite his assurances that it was okay. You reasoned that it was early days, but remained frustrated that for someone who'd wanted to have a baby so much you weren't enjoying it.
"It's only few weeks in Morocco and then you'll be home" you said softly, trying to find the silver lining for him.
"And then I go off to Berlin for Unchartered" he replied, voice somewhere between sour and resigned.
"Berlin's a hop, skip and a jump from here. I can come and visit"
"If Doc clears you"
"I'm allowed to travel without Doc's permission up till 7 months"
"You'll nearly be that far along by then"
"Tom, I'm trying to make you feel better"
"I know. Thank you" he sighed, rubbing his head agitatedly; his fingers paused for a moment, expecting to find curls but instead rubbing against his buzz-cut. "I just - I love my job but I'm working so much that I'm worried I'm going to miss out on the important stuff. And the baby isn't even born yet"
"Honestly, you're not. I've only just started showing. Kid hasn't even kicked yet"
"What if I miss it because I'm somewhere else?"
"Tom"
"Sorry" he mumbled.
"Could you take some time off?" you asked tentatively, though you knew the answer.
"When?" he snorted derisively. "After Cherry wraps I have Onward press, then Unchartered, then Spider-Man 3, plus the The Devil All the Time and Cherry releases. There's also the comic-cons that I'm committed to, Brother's Trust events, writing this script with Harry....it never ends. And somewhere in there we have a baby, which we have to announce soon because people are going to start noticing" he sighed heavily, shaking his head.
You looked down at the offending bump, chewing your lower lip. It had taken over a year of trying to conceive after Venice. A year of trying to figure out your ovulation cycle and matching it up with Tom's impossible schedules; a year of crushing disappointment when your period arrived every month; a year taking all manner of vitamins, herbal teas and whatever else you could find to help increase your fertility until finally, after deciding to give it a break and one particularly intoxicated game night, those two pink lines were clear as day on the test.
"Are you regretting it?" you asked softly.
"No!" Tom said, taking your chin in his hand and raising your face to meet his. "God no, I will never, ever regret this. I just don't want to miss anything" he said earnestly, reaching out to splay his fingers against your stomach. "And I miss you. And a holiday would be nice"
"I'm sorry handsome"
"It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. It just sucks"
You curled into him, wishing you could somehow be closer than you already were, to physically wrap him safe and warm in your arms and never be separated.
"You may not miss being around me so much" you said, looking up at him as he frowned down at you. "I look like crap right now and it's only going to get worse from here"
"You don't look like crap. You're gorgeous, you -"
"Don't say I have a 'pregnancy glow'. Just don't. At best I have a sweaty 'I can't keep anything down' sheen"
"I think you look amazing"
"I think you're full of shit"
"How about I show you how amazing I think you are?" Tom murmured, kissing you ever so softly.
You kissed him back, arms wrapping around his neck as he shifted to hover over you, nudging your legs open with his. As the kiss deepened into something hungrier, Tom's hand moved down to your breasts, fiddling with your top to expose them, his fingers moving to your hyper sensitive nipples.
"Ow! That hurts" you gasped, jerking away from his fingers, covering your breasts.
"What?" he asked, frowning in confusion.
"They're still really sensitive"
"Oh sorry, no boobs" he replied, looking unsure as to what to do next.
You grabbed hold of his neck, bringing him down to your lips, wrapping your legs around his hips. After a moments hesitation Tom returned your kiss, pressing himself against your core, which ached with an overwhelming need. You moaned loudly, clinging to him as you tried to press yourself harder against him, stars bursting behind your eyes. He chuckled, pulling himself away from you.
"Relax BabyDoll, Daddy's got you" he growled, placing tantalising kisses along your neck and collarbones, his fingers playing with the waistband of your underwear.
Unable to help yourself, you grabbed hold of his hand, guiding it past your underwear to press it firmly against your core, a rush of elation sweeping through you as his fingers pressed against the sensitive nub.
"Uh-uh-uh" Tom murmured, freeing his hand as he continued to make his way down your eager body.
"Please hurry" you gasped, lifting your hips as you began to shimmy off your underwear.
"All good things to those who wait" Tom murmured, firmly pressing your hips back onto the bed. You'd managed to get your underwear past your bum and you whimpered as Tom took them delicately in his teeth, dragging them down your trembling legs.
Finally free, you spread your legs wide, body humming with anticipation as Tom gently took hold of your knees, his lips mere inches from your waiting heat.
"What do we say?"
"Please" you gasped.
"Please who?"
"Please Daddy" you groaned, unable to hide the desperation in your voice.
"Good girl" Tom murmured, finally planting those delectable lips on your impatient flesh.
You cried out, arching your back as Tom's tongue began to explore your folds, alternating between flicking the sensitive nub and sucking on it with his teeth. You were being loud but, given you were the only ones home, you didn't care. Tom's hands moved from your knees, over your quivering thighs to cup your stomach, cradling the life that was growing there.
"Oh God" you groaned, your high rising unusually fast, "I can't hold on for very long"
"You can come if you want" Tom murmured, his voice sending a ripple through you, your high very nearly there.
"Really?" you whined, curling your toes in anticipation.
"Come for Daddy" he growled, one hand still clutching your stomach as he brought the other down to plunge his fingers deep inside you, his tongue feasting hungrily on your sensitive flesh.
You let yourself go, crying out as the euphoric high ripped through you like a wildfire. Your hands tangled in the sheets as he continued to suck on your sweet spot, his fingers curling inside you.
"Oh my fucking God!" you shrieked breathlessly, the orgasm dragging on thanks to Tom's machinations.
"Woah!" Tom yelled, jerking away from you as something small but definitive gently pressed against his hand.
You sat up, shaking as you both stared at your bump.
"Holy shit" you gasped, looking up to see the same stunned expression on Tom's face.
"I - did that, was it?" Tom stammered, eyes wide. "Do you, do you think we hurt it? Is it okay, are you okay? I shouldn't have done that, maybe we should go to the hospital" he sputtered nervously, hands hovering around your stomach as the all too familiar look of concern washed over his handsome face.
"We're fine" you breathed, taking his hands and placing them firmly on your stomach. "We're both completely, totally, perfectly fine" you murmured reassuringly, Tom finally looking at you.
The panic that had been growing in his eyes faded, replaced by adoration and excitement, and a smile so big and beautiful it was blinding.
"That was, I mean, I -"
"I know" you said, taking hold of his head and kissing him fiercely. "I *kiss* love *kiss* you" you gasped, pulling him down on top of you, using one hand to pull down his briefs.
"I love you too" he groaned as you freed him from his briefs. You kissed him as hard as you could, determined to pour every ounce of love for him into the kiss. Tom broke away from you, eyes burning as he glanced down before looking back at you. "Are you sure?"
"Yes" you replied, tilting your hips towards him.
He smothered your lips with his, the pair of you sighing as he slid home, bodies finally united. Tom began to roll his hips slowly, his left hand cradling your head as his right supported his weight, lest he crush you or the baby. Your legs wrapped around his hips and you delighted in every push and pull, feeling as if your body was expanding around him, making room for the overpowering love you felt for him.
It wasn't long before your cries grew louder and more breathless, your nails digging into the solid muscles of his shoulders as his hips rolled faster and faster. You buried your teeth into his shoulder, moaning loudly as you came again, your walls pulsing around his throbbing member. Tom groaned, his face buried in your breasts as he slowed his hips to prolong his high. Spent, he carefully rolled off you to lie flat on his back, breathing heavily.
"I can't believe we felt the baby move" he mumbled, turning to smile a goofy yet handsome grin at you.
You rolled over, wrapping yourself around him, taking his hand and pressing it firmly against your small bump. "I told you you wouldn't miss it" you said, smiling equally as goofily at him. "And I've decided something"
"What's that?"
"One, I don't want you to stop touching the bump. And two, I don't want you to miss anything else"
"How are you going to achieve that when you're here and I'm somewhere else?"
"I'm going to quit and come with you"
"What?" he gasped, sitting up and looking at you with wide eyes.
"I'll be damned if you miss out on anything -"
"Y/N, I don't want to miss anything either but you love your job!"
"Not as much as I love you. I'm tired of being an assistant, it's exhausting enough without adding pregnancy to the mix. Besides, I think Lara's figured it out and has been not so subtly pressuring me to do a nude photoshoot"
Tom frowned, hand tightening on your stomach. "What will you do, just tag along? You'll get bored"
"Maybe I could do some freelance writing? Anna knows I've been wanting to get out of PA for ages now. This will give me a chance to focus on doing something for me and not for someone else's career"
The more you spoke it aloud the more you realised that it was something you'd been wanting to do for a long time. Almost ten years at the magazine and though you did love it, the time had come to say goodbye. You just hadn't realised it until now.
"Are you sure? Like, really sure?" Tom asked.
"Confident. Like 1000% confident. I really just want to be with you. This" you said, gesturing to your bump, "has totally sucked without you"
Tom's face transformed, soft and sweet before he wrapped you in his arms and kissed you fiercely.
"I love you, Y/N Y/M/N Holland. Forever and always" he murmured as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, covering the two of you with the doona again.
"Forever and always"