Chapter 28
Jonathan lead us towards a secret shortcut just beside town and we ended up where I least expected it to be. I thought that he would bring me to the forest or to a quiet meadow or an isolated place somewhere beyond the outskirts of town but no. He lead me towards the old mansion. The secret place Daniel had shown me. I guess it wasn't so secret anymore.
Jonathan walked towards the garden and I followed him from behind.
"I guess you're wondering how I know where this is." he suddenly brought up.
"I am but I should have known that by now. If you knew what my dreams are then you probably knew this place too." I trailed off but not telling him that Daniel had brought me here. "This was where we first met. . . At least that's what I recall from my dreams." I muttered, unsure what to say.
He dryly chuckled. "I still remember that, you know? You were trying to play hard to get."
"I wasn't trying. I am hard to get." I retorted, making him laugh.
"Of course you are." he teased back.
I shook my head smiling at him. For some reason, I felt that Jonathan was more carefree. He wasn't uptight and proper like he was most of the time like before. He was more comfortable to be around with this time.
It's nice.
We arrived at the garden and settled ourselves on a stone bench that hadn't crumbled down.
"So, why here? What do you have to tell me that needed to be said without anyone knowing?" I asked out directly. I was getting so curious. I just have to know.
Jonathan looked like he was struggling to find words to answer me. He fist his hands together and tried to ready himself as if he was going through something difficult. I could tell that he was.
"Look, Eve, before I say anything to you, I need to know something first." He then turned his face and looked into my eyes warily. "Do you trust me?"
"What's with that question?"
"You see, I just- I just have to know that I'm not making a mistake here. I need to make sure that me telling you what I know is right. What I might tell you might sound unfamiliar or unbelievable or crazy but it's not. If you trust me, then I know that you will believe me without doubt."
I'm not able to comprehend what he further meant by that but I nodded. "I trust you."
He lightly smiled. "Good."
I anticipated and waited for him to start saying something. When he looked like he had sorted his thoughts out, he sighed.
He shifted and stared out at the site before us, speaking up. "One of the things that you need to know is that dreams represent something from reality. It's like a mirror image of our subconscious. Therefore, your dreams are real. They are as real as you and me."
"What do you mean by that?"
"It means that your dreams really happened. They're your memories." he explained, looking at me warily.
I couldn't bring myself to believe what he said. "That's impossible. It looked like a different time in my dreams. It looked. . . very different from now. How can those be my memories if I don't even remember having them or doing them? How can that be real if it's like that?"
"It just is. Accept it."
"I can't. How can you be so sure that I'm her anyway? I can't even bring myself to believe that." I said, my voice ringing with doubts.
"I know. I'm sure that you're her. You're her reincarnation." his demeanor showed that he was deadpan serious.
I shook my head. "No. It's impossible. It's not logical. This is not some magic or a fairy tale Jonathan. That does not happen in real life. Stop joking around and tell me the truth."
"I thought you trust me. Trust me now. What I'm saying is true. The truth is that you're Olivia and you've had a life before this one and I'm a witness to it because I was a part of it."
"No. I can't."
He glared at me, frustrated. "Why is it so hard for you to believe what I'm honestly saying here?"
"Because it is!" I emotionally burst out to my surprise, overwhelmed. "It's hard to accept that! You're telling me that I had a life that I've lived before this- a life that I can't even remember. I can't even comprehend that that could happen. Who would? I mean, any normal person who would hear this would think it is unreal!"
He paused, watching me as I heaved my outburst out of my chest. Then he slowly nodded, his face was pained with disappointment.
"You're right. Who would believe something that could never happen?" he sighed, relaxing himself but stressing out as he continued, saying, "But that is exactly why you should believe me. Why would your dreams feel so real if it wasn't?"
I couldn't answer him.
"Look, if you truly believe that the strange things that have been happening to you right now like how you think those dreams aren't real, admit it to me without a doubt. Because if it wasn't real then you wouldn't be this concerned about it since the moment it started."
He was right. Every time I would have my dreams it feels so real like I was really there. It really happened but. . . I don't know if it really did or if I'm only trying to convince myself that it did. But then why would I fluster myself if I didn't believe even a small fraction of it?
"Go with your gut. Believe what you feel. Sometimes not all logical things are the truth."
I shook my head, confused. "How do you even know it's real? How did you even know that I was having those dreams?"
"I just do. It's not important."
"Like I'd believe that! Tell me. If it's not important to you well it is to me."
"It is important to me!" he stressed then he sighed. His composure, slowly breaking down. In frustration, he suddenly grabbed my wrist, saying, "It's been hard for me far more than you'll know. You think I didn't notice how you started acting strange around us? How you sometimes disappear with Daniel at night? I know you've started having those dreams and memories about Olivia because you told Daniel about it yesterday. I know my brother. He sometimes falter in acting. But that idiot just doesn't realize that you know because you kept it from him."
"Then. . . how- how did you know I was her if I never even told him?" I asked, my voice was shaking. My thoughts and feelings are all in a fuss that I couldn't think clearly, especially not with him being like this.
He softened his grip on my wrist and calmed down after hearing my shaky voice. "I already knew you were her when I saw you. I just pretended not to know anything since you don't remember. But I noticed that after you two got close, you began acting a little strange as the days passed. I guessed he might've triggered it in some way."
"Can. . . Can you please explain to me how you know all of this?" I pleaded.
"I have my own memories." he calmly stated.
"Are. . . Are you like me? Reincarnated?" I uttered in a small uncertainly hopeful voice.
He suddenly became different. He was gently holding my hand now. "There are things you must know and things you mustn't know now because you have to discover them yourself. Look, I want this to be over as soon as possible as much as you do. You're as involved in this as much as I am but we mustn't hasten things. We need to take them slowly. Believe that I'm telling you the truth."
"Then make me believe that it makes sense." I stated, challenging him. "Explain. Tell me what you know Jonathan or I walk away."
His face suddenly filled with struggle.
"Okay. I'm asking Daniel." I then forcefully yanked my wrist away from his hold and stood up but he stopped me.
"Fine!"
I looked back at him.
"I'll tell you what I know." he breathed out in surrender.
I sat back down and turned to him, listening.
"I know I can't force you to wholeheartedly believe what I tell you. Only you can decide that. I will respect that but I am, in all honesty, saying the truth." He stated with certainty.
He glanced at me before looking away at the distance and continued. "You are Lady Olivia Rosette Cross of Castel, daughter of the wealthy and generous Duke Nicholas Cross and Dutchess Lorraine Margeaux. You lived here, in the Kingdom of Regalia. You and your family owned the land of Castel which you now know as Arxean. In the past, it was one of the most popular, influential and rich places in the Kingdom.
"We met here when you were sixteen and I'm sure you know how the rest of that day went."
"I do."
"But you still don't remember what happened after that."
"No."
"Well, one thing you should remember is that I did become your friend. I would frequently visit you at your house." he pointed out.
"And the. . ." I gulped nervously, embarrassed. "marriage part?"
He glanced at me and gave me a cunning smile. "I'll leave that part for you to find out."
'What's that supposed to mean? That's unfair! He should just tell me. Why won't he tell me?'
After seeing my unsatisfied expression he chuckled.
"What's so funny?"
"I'm just feeling a bit nostalgic."
I looked at him, confused and curious.
"You always overthink things just like in the past. You worry too much but you don't need to. Things will just take it's course in due time." he said, giving me a comforting yet amused look.
I gave him a small smile but then it disappeared when I suddenly thought of something.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. It's just that. . ." I looked down at my hands, distracted. There was a heavy feeling in my chest that I couldn't shake away and it hurt.
"What is it?" he asked, concerned.
"Why can't I piece it together?" I asked in a small voice. "If I'm Olivia, why do I feel like she is an entirely different person compared to me? Why do I exist now? What's my purpose?"
I turn to look at Jonathan who was warily looking into my eyes.
"Who am I?" I asked, my voice surprisingly quivering.
Jonathan gently clasped my hand in his and said, "You are who you want to be."
He smiled at me then continued, saying, "I know you feel lost. All of this," He then looked around us then back to me. "is a lot to take in. You've only just found out a fraction of your past life and as absurd as it sounds, I know you feel that it's true.
"If you don't have anyone to talk to about this or if you have anymore questions about who you truly are and what your dreams are showing you, you can always talk to me and you can count on me to listen."
I looked at his hands which clasped mine then I look back into his eyes and saw his sincerity. I smiled. "Thank you."
Before he could stand up and tell us that we had to go, I stopped him, saying, "Jonathan, wait."
He looked at me, puzzled.
"Why are you doing this? Why did you tell me about all of this? I mean, you can convince me that my dreams aren't true-- that it's all just a fantasy I'm making up in my head. But you didn't."
"Yes, I didn't."
"Why?"
"I don't know." he shrugged, sighing a bit languidly as he continued, saying, "Let's say that I am a fool who's still waiting for a light to finally shine at the midst of an infinite darkness."
I looked at him confused and unable to decipher what he meant.
He chuckled and gave me a mischievous smile that was usually unlike him. "You'll get it. . . eventually."
He was being cryptic like someone I know. It made me shake my head with an amused smile plastered on my face.
'They really are brothers. . .'
"And Jonathan,"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for telling me." I gave his hand a small squeeze and sincerely smiled at him. He may not have told me everything but he told me nonetheless and I'm grateful for that.
He smiled his charming boyish smile which made his expression look softer.
"So, do I have to call you Christian or Jonathan?" I jested making him grin.
"Jonathan." he answered. "I would like to keep this between us, don't you?"
"Okay."
We stood up to leave but then he said something that caught my attention.
"Eve, everyone has their secrets and it's going to be hard to trust someone from now on. Be careful." he warned, concerned.
"I will. Besides, I can always tell you about this because I trust you."
He gave me a small smile and nodded. His eyes held something back but he masked it away as he blinked. He was hiding something.
"What?"
He looked uncertain but his expression changed and instead he said, "I'm sorry."
"What for?" I scrunched my brows together in confusion.
"For making us late for dance practice."
I looked at my watch and it was already past the time we were supposed to be there. I looked at him, gaping. "Oh no."
"I know. We better leave for the manor. Now."
I nodded in agreement and we ran to our horses and rode as fast as we could to the manor.
We strode in the ballroom a bit out of breath. The music suddenly ceased playing and the room fell into a quiet stop.
"Well, it seems that you two finally decided to join us." Amelia stated, crossing her arms together as she slowly walked a few steps in out direction.
Jonathan spoke up. "We apologize that we've arrived quite late. We-"
"I don't want to hear any excuses." Amelia cut off Jonathan's excuse. "Both of you look exhausted but this is still dance practice. And we have a ball fast approaching. Everyone must be perfect. Hurry up and pair together. You're still dancing."
I looked down at my attire and was about to protest when Amelia interrupted me saying, "Even without the proper attire."
We both looked at each other and heard Amelia exclaimed, "Quickly!"
We nodded and walked to the middle of the ballroom. Jonathan cautiously yet abruptly held me in his arms assuming the waltz position. I jumped and blushed from the sudden closeness.
He chuckled. "I didn't mean to startle you. Sorry."
"No! Uh... It's fine. It's fine." I told him, as I distracted my embarrassed self, looking at a button on his shirt.
"Miss Zia and Mr. Daniel, please dance next to them let's dance the steps we've covered so far." Mark instructed out loud.
I looked at them keeping my head low. Daniel and Zia were slowly walking in our direction. Her hand was gently set on top of his and it sent a sting in me that I couldn't explain.
Zia cast her eyes down and she kept it there until they stopped and stood by us. Daniel's eyes were at us, unwavering. He kept a straight face, eyeing Jonathan then reverting his gaze to me. We locked eyes for a moment, both of us trying to convey something that couldn't be said in words but just by looking at one another.
The music slowly started to come alive. I suddenly felt a gentle touch under my chin, tipping it up and turning my face to break the trance I was in.
"My eyes are up here, my lady." Jonathan softly whispered.
I blinked my eyes and came back to my senses, stuttering, "R-Right."
"Shall we?" Jonathan offered with a smile and I nodded.
As we prepared ourselves for the first steps on cue, I stole a glance at Daniel. He was holding Zia in his arms. His hand holding hers and the other was lightly placed on the small of her back.
We started dancing and I still stole small glances at them. My thoughts running somewhere I did not wish to go.
'Did he hold me like that? When we danced, was our distance as close as they are right now?'
Jonathan spun me back in and cleared his throat, snapping my attention back to him. He caught me staring at them.
"A penny for your thoughts?" he asked in a low quiet voice.
I turn back to him as we were back to a simple waltz.
"It's nothing. . . nothing." I replied, keeping my head down.
I didn't notice that he had bent his head down and placed his lips by my ear, whispering a question. "Is watching them dance so close bothering you?"
I stilled but he kept us dancing as he backed a bit and looked at me. I shook my head and said, "No! I- Why would you say that?"
"Because you looked distracted. I can't even keep your attention solely focused on me." he bluntly pointed out without hesitation.
"Sorry." I sadly apologized.
"It's fine. It just makes me want to work harder for your attention." he stated, smiling at me. His eyes lit up for the challenge.
I lightly laughed at his ridiculous statement. "Really? And how do you plan to do that?"
"Simple." He leaned in a little bit closer and whispered in a low voice, "I just have to distract you."
I looked at him confused and he just smiled languidly at me but his eyes were giving a mischievous glint.
I ignored his declaration and glanced at Daniel and Zia, who were now having a rather serious-looking discussion. They were both indulged in their conversation that I was starting to stare at them.
That's when I noticed it or rather felt it.
He was pulling me closer to him than before. Before I could protest, his thumb slowly rubbed small circles on my hand. I could feel myself slowly turning beet red on every time he does that when I try to look away from him.
"Stop it."
"Stop what?" he asked, dubiously.
"THAT."
"What that?" He feigned innocent.
"You know what I mean!" I scolded him in a hushed voice. It was beginning to irritate me. I was getting annoyed and flustered by his continuous attempt to distract me. It was and is distracting me.
He laughed, amused. "I guess I finally won your attention."
"Yes. Now, stop it." I ordered.
He looked into my eyes as if he was searching for something then said, "No."
I glared at him.
He grinned, amused. "Okay." He stopped his distracting attempts, making me sigh in relief.
"I didn't really expect that would work." he stated, a bit baffled.
"Don't ever do that again." I warned him, stressing each word. I'll probably panic the next time he does that.
"I can't make any promises." He said, smiling at me.
'What is he thinking now?' I eyed him warily.
The music came to a halt and we stopped dancing.
"That was better that yesterday. Very Good!" Amelia happily remarked.
"Take five!" Mark instructed.
I sat down on a bench with Jonathan sitting beside me.
"Can you come meet me at the studio tomorrow? I have something to show you." I said, turning to Jonathan, who was surprised at my sudden request.
"Okay. I'll be there." he answered, looking at me meticulously.
I furrow my brows, looking at him cautiously because he was looking at me like I had chocolate smeared on my face and I was getting embarrassed. "What?"
"Nothing. It's just that you still interest me." he stated, smiling as he locked his eyes with mine.
I slightly smiled at his statement. Then suddenly, someone coughs in front of us and we snapped our heads to it's source.
"Eve, can I talk to you privately? Please?" Zia asked as she stood in front of us, looking between Jonathan and I back and forth.
"Sure." I got up and walked with her towards the door.
As we left, I glanced at Daniel's direction and I found him staring at me while he was sitting at the seat, opposite to Jonathan's.
When we passed the door and stopped by a nearby painting at the hall, Zia then turned to me with her face filled with a dilemma.
"What's wrong?" I was getting worried. She looked nervous and tense. It wasn't like her at all.
"Can you come to my room after practice? There's something I've been meaning to tell you but. . . I couldn't say it back then because I was nervous and scared how'd you react." Zia stated as she looked back at me, reluctant and atypical.
I nodded then asked worriedly, "Are you feeling alright? You've seem not like yourself since yesterday."
"I'm fine!" she immediately responded erratically then she lowered her voice to calm down. "I'm fine. It- It's just that the pressure about the ball is getting to me lately."
"It'll be fine. I know that this ball will go without a hitch." I said, giving her a comforting smile.
She smiled back and nodded then we went back inside the ball room.
As we entered, we noticed Daniel and Jonathan having a conversation by the window and they dispersed as soon as they saw us walking towards them.
I eyed Daniel then I decided to talk to him about what I've been dreaming lately and be able to know what he thinks it might be.
"Daniel, I-" I started as he started walking towards me but then. . .
I froze in my spot when he just walked pass me without giving me a single glance. Like I wasn't even there. Like I didn't exist.
I was taken aback and embarrassed and offended by what he had just done. I was speechless.
He's never been that cold to me before.
He had ignored me.
"Okay! Everyone, gather around and we'll start teaching you the next part of the dance." Amelia called out as she clapped her hands together.
"Are you coming?" Jonathan asked, pulling me back from my stunned state. He was standing in front of me with a questioning look on his face and his hands in his pockets.
I was still too baffled to speak so I just nodded.
He offered me his hand, asking, "Shall we?"
I looked at his hand, filled with warm comfort. I shook the thought about Daniel away and instead placed my hand on Jonathan's hand. He led us towards the center to watch Amelia and Mark dance. I stood by him watching them dance but my mind was wandering somewhere else. It wandered towards Daniel who was intently watching them dance. I stopped stealing glances of him and ignored my curiosity.
I don't know what was up with him but I'd rather not involve myself with it. Jonathan said that I worry too much about things I shouldn't even bother myself with. This was another example of that.
'I should stop. Just focus on the dance.' I mentally reprimanded myself.
After Amelia and Mark danced, we practiced on our own. Jonathan was doing great teaching me and I learned quickly despite me being not that graceful at dancing. He was fun to talk to. We laughed at some funny moments that he recalled when he first started dancing. Apparently he had stepped on his partner's foot countless of times before becoming a great dancer. He even spun one of his partner's into a fountain when they went to a garden party. He told me different stories and each as hilarious as the others.
"Wait there's more." he stated, grinning and slightly laughing.
"No more! Any more of those stories and you'll have me rolling on the floor laughing." I scolded him though I couldn't help but smile.
He chuckled, a playful spark in his eyes lit up. "I would very much like to see that."
I lightly slapped his chest. "Just keep dancing. I would rather stick to dancing than that, thank you very much."
"Understood." he nodded then momentarily shrugged and remarked. "At least I made you smile. You looked down since earlier."
He had noticed and he took effort to cheer me up. His thoughtfulness touched me and I smiled at him, thankful. "Thank you, Jonathan."
"You are always welcome." he smiled back, satisfied. His demeanor then changed playfully. "Now, about that next dancing lesson I have. . ."
"No more!" I demanded in a hushed tone.
We were in a middle of a twirl when somebody yanked me away from Jonathan. When I turned my head to look who it was, I found out that it was Zia. She was already dragging me towards the hallway before I could ask her why she would do that. I looked back at Jonathan who was stunned by the sudden interruption. The musical ensemble stopped playing music when Amelia and Mark began to dismiss the practice for the day. And Daniel was gone.
When we finally reached a curb in the hallway, Zia stopped and let go of my wrist. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I- I really don't know what got into me. I just really had to do that."
I rubbed wrist gently because she had used too much force on it that it started to sting. "Why did you do that? It kind of hurt my wrist a bit but if you had to talk to me, you only have to ask me; not use force."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry but. . . just. . . just come to my room after ten minutes." She strode towards her room before I could ask her any more questions.
'What is up with her? She's been acting weird since a few days ago.'
I was in a train of thoughts when I felt another person grab my arm. As I turned around, I saw him. Daniel.
"Can we talk?" He was asking but his expression showed me that he wouldn't accept that if I refused.
"So now you're not avoiding me? That's typical." I stated back, a lingering disdain in my voice.
"We need to talk." He avoided my obvious angry statement at him and pushed it aside, being indifferent about it.
"I'm not going." I yanked my arm away from his grip. I could feel my breathing hitch and my palms sweating.
I felt like I chose the wrong answer because Daniel's expression changed. He was surprised but his face became serious once more.
"Even if you ask again, I won't go." I declared, standing my ground despite a small tremble in my voice.
"Then I'm not asking." He immediately grabbed my arm and dragged me behind him, bringing us into a guest room then locking the door behind us.
I felt a surge of resentment that was about to swell in me. I turned around and I ended up lashing my anger at him, saying, "What in the world is wrong wi-!"
I suddenly felt his strong arms, embracing me-- caging me in his warmth.
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Hey guys!
I'm very sorry about the VERY LONG UPDATE! I'm truly very sorry. I had a problem at school so I could'nt really focus on it plus another writer's block BUT nevermind that hahaha
So I hope you like the chapter! Share your thoughts with me about it if you like because I would appreciate it.
I would like to thank you for your patience and support! 3.2K READS!!! YAY!!!
*happy dance* |(> . <)/
I hope you keep on updating! More secrets will be out soon.... SPOILER! XD
BTW MASQUERADE UPDATE IS COMING UP SOON so keep on keeping track :)
INNOCENCE Soundtrack list:
Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling feat. Lzzy Hale
----- chose this song because it's powerful and emotional :)
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