💫She's Different💫

Bella's Cookie Dough Chat

"I mean, I don't just feel bad emotionally Mommy. My stomach has been hurting me and I'm so upset that I can't eat anything."
"Have you been feeling anxious?"
"A lot."
"Poor baby."
"I'm starving Mom."
"Then let's get you a proper meal."
"I feel in the mood for some spicy noodles." We went downstairs and I grabbed some from the cabinet.
"I'll make it for you babe." Mom said.
"Thanks."
"So tell me why you're anxious baby."
"You know how at graduation, Grandma came? I mean, she alone didn't make me sad. I started think about having to go to family dinners and things like that. That made me really anxious. I'm not ready to explore that side of me, I think I still have a hurt heart." My Mom finished the noodles and handed me my chopsticks.
"I'm really sorry babe. I thought that, maybe you might be open to saying hi."
"I am Mom, just not into exploring right now. I wanna focus on like middle school and stuff. I don't have time for this. I just sit over here and cry like some baby. Something's wrong with me."
"You're just sensitive, there's nothing wrong with that."
"Yes there is! Everything makes me cry! My friends don't cry."
"You should not compare yourself to your friends, you guys go through different things, and react differently to those situations. Do not compare yourself to other people. You are your own person. Do you understand me?!" She said sternly.
"Yes Mom."
"I know it's hard honey, but we will get through this."
"I feel like for the past couple of years, I've gotten a lot better about the warehouse and things but I was telling my therapist that I don't really understand what happened to me. We've never talked about that Mom." My Mom sighed and held my hand.
"I didn't think about going into the depth about it because I wanted to protect you. But I think you're about old enough to talk about it if you're ready."
"Finally I'm only enough for something." Mom giggled and gave me a kiss.
"But, I'm warning you that it's a very mature conversation that might make you feel upset and uncomfortable. And that's okay. But it's something that we would've needed to talk about soon anyways."
"Okay."
"When I get some time off, whenever I do, I'll try to just make it as easy as possible."
"Easy?"
"Just the facts."
"Hm."
"Do you feel any better?" I nodded and she ate some of my ramen.
"That's great. Why is this so spicy?!"
"Because they're atomic bomb noodles! It isn't for the weak!" I joked. She drank some water and looked at me.
"This generation." She sighed and sat back down.
"Movie?" I proposed.
"Well, why not?" I grabbed my cookie dough ice cream and we went downstairs.
**********
Bella's Room (Leia's Perspective)
"Ew Lei! Stop picking your boogers."
"They're tasty!"
"Leia! That's so nasty!" Bella said. She got a tissue and wiped my hands. She gave me hand sanitizer and I giggled.
"Sissy?"
"Yeah?" She said as she threw the tissue away.
"Do you do jazz?"
"Sometimes."
"Do you do ballet?"
"Well, I used to do it full time. Not anymore."
"Livia put me in them."
"That's good, you'll get some exercise."
"And soccer!"
"Woah, that's amazing Lei." I sat on Bella's lap and looked at her.
"Sissy?"
"Yeah?"
"I miss Livia."
"She's coming home soon, I promise."
"Triple promise?"
"Triple promise."
**************
Morgan's House (Noah's Perspective)
We kinda just sat in the back on the swing, talking. It was cool. I like Morgan as more than a friend. I just hate to admit it. Sometimes I wonder if she likes me too.
"Next year should be so much better. We're not the chum anymore."
"From the chum bucket?" We both laughed and ate some popcorn.
"I absolutely love Spongebob! It's one of my favorite shows in the whole universe. Besides Riverdale."
"What's that?"
"Do you know the Archie Comics?"
"Well yeah, who doesn't?"
"It's basically a show about them but, really different. It's a bit scary!"
"How?!"
"Well, I won't spoil it too much....But there's a killer!"
"Woah, I have to watch this myself."
"We could go watch it in my room, but I'm not allowed to have boys in there."
"Then let's watch it outside."
"Cool." I got Netflix on my phone and we watched Riverdale. It was pretty cool and also pretty weird. Mom probably wouldn't want me watching this show. But Mom and I had the "talk", so I felt ready.
"They're literally making out."
"I know right." I replied. Morgan looked at me a certain way. Like, a very romantic way and then turned away. I've never experienced that before. It was a bit weird.
"Wanna watch something else?"
"Sure." I took Riverdale off and she sort of got up a walked around in a circle.
"Is something wrong?"
"No...it's okay." She said.
"Do you want me to leave?" I asked.
"You don't have to."
"Noah, we have to go home for dinner. Let's go."
"Well, this is awkward."
"Yeah...See you later."
"Yeah." I said goodbye to her parents and left with Mom.
"You okay?" I shrugged and I just felt so awkward and weird. Morgan doesn't act like that with me. Did I do something?
"Noah, did something happen?"
"No, it's okay."
"Noah." She said as she opened the front door.
"Noah!" Leia ran to me and gave me a big cuddle.
"Hey Lei."
"I missed you!" She giggled and went to Mom.
"Livia." Mom picked her up and gave her a kiss.
"Did you wake up from your nap?"
"Yes, I had a good nap." Mom was too focused on Lei to notice that I slipped away-
"Noah. We're not done speaking."
"I said I'm fine!"
"What happened with Morgan then?" Leia played with Mom's hair as she sat on the couch.
"Nothing."
"Did you guys have an awkward moment?"
"I'm not talking about it."
*********
My Bedroom (Bella's Perspective)
"Bella, how many times do I have to tell you to pick up your room? It's looks like a pigsty in here." I yawned and closed my eyes.
"Get up and clean your room. Let's go."
"Mom, I'll do it later."
"Get up." She's said strictly. We cleaned my room out, getting rid of some clothes in the process and I sat down on my newly made bed as she sat down with me.
"Bella, did you take a shower?" I shook my head and she nodded.
"Go shower." I smelled myself and I smelt like literal puke.
"I smell gross. When did that happen?!" I asked out loud.
"You're growing up. Your body-"
"No! No, not right now!" My Mom laughed and handed me a towel.
"We'll have a chat after you've cleaned up. Young lady."
"Stop calling me that! I'm still a girl!" I insisted.
"Alright, I'll give you some privacy now."
"Finally." After my shower I went to get some lotion and there was some deodorant on my desk. Cucumber..lovely.
"Bella, are you done?"
"Yes." She came into my room and watched as I put on the deodorant and sat on my bed.
"Livia, we have to have cuddle time!"
"You mind if Leia sits here while we talk?"
"No. It's not like she understands." Leia laid down with Mom and I and I just stared at the ceiling.
"So I'm going to have B.O now?"
"Mhm."
"Well, it's a part of growing up. Just gotta get used to it."
"You do, but it's natural to be a bit sad about it."
"I didn't think I've ever really felt sad before."
"Livy, I want to play!"
"In a minute baby."
"Are you curious about anything?" I shook my head and Mom looked at me.
"I'll bug off. You look like you need some privacy."
"You guys can stay."
"I insist. Let's go Lei, let's go do some crafts."
"Yay!"
"I'll be downstairs if you need me." Sometimes I feel like Mom is always reminding me that I'm getting older. Well, I can't really say it's just her, everyone has been saying that. Teachers, family, the Internet. It's like I'm constantly being reminded that even though I feel like a kid, my body is starting to become something other than that.
"Hm." I went online to watch some YouTube videos, I was starting to think too hard.
"Today I'm going to show you how to distract yourself! Sometimes in life you just need a break." I smiled as the youtuber spoke and listened. I drew a picture of my little sister and it made me forget about everything.
"I need some cookie dough ice cream."