You instinctively lifted your finger and traced his face on the screen.
“Jin…….oh Jin" you crooned his name, pulling the phone even closer.
“Shhh….shhh…it's ok. Let it out, cry it out" you whispered, aching to have him in your arms.
“Shhhh…shhhhh…” you whispered and hummed to him, watching him cry until he had released all the hurt, exhaustion and frustration he had been forcing down all day.
“This has been a really shit day. Then…then…” he was still not ready to tell you everything.
“I just wanted……I just needed" he was struggling.
Finally he drew a shuddering breath “All I could think was I needed someone to help me. But there was only you. I could only think of you. I wanted you.”
Tears sprang to your eyes. His raw vulnerability was breaking your heart.
“Jin….baby! Tell me" you coaxed and he closed his eyes and began. He talked till he was hoarse, until he was in control of the emotions. You listened and encouraged him.
After an hour you were both laughing through the tears, lying on your sides, holding your phones close. Both of you were imagining being next to the other, arms and legs tangled together in the sheets.
In the space of that hour, although neither of you would admit it right then, the world changed.
You talked until you ran out of words but neither of you could break the connection.
You lay in silence half a world apart. Day was dawning for one and the sun setting for the other, but time no longer mattered.
You both were content to watch the other, unintentionally matching your breathing, communicating without words.
Finally, before you could censor yourself, you spoke the thought that had been burning inside you for the last several minutes.
“Jin….” You whispered “ I don't want to do this anymore".
You watched as hurt and confusion warred across his face.
He rolled to his stomach, leaning on his elbows, his phone in his hands beneath him.
Again the real sensation struck you of him rolling your body beneath his, holding himself above you, his body resting in the cradle of your thighs.
Those thoughts were causing your body to heat in response.
“No…wait. Please. I am sorry........” he rushed.
“ No Jin. Shhh…” you tried to calm him. “That’s not what I meant. I don't want to do this , whatever we have been doing anymore. I want to actually talk to you like this. Better yet I want to have these conversations in person"
He sighed as you stopped to find the exact words.
“We need to talk when you get home. We need to decide what is next. For now, I love the letters but I want to see your face when I learn your favorite color, or see you eat something you hate or when you hear your favorite song. I don’t want to miss out on learning these things from you, with you.” you finished in a rush.
Jin was silent for a moment, then he drew a shuddering breath.
“ Thank You. I will do everything in my power to regain your trust and respect.” he whispered.
With that you and Jin began to discuss serious things between the two of you.
You noticed that Jin’s eyes were growing heavy and he was fighting sleep.
Finally you coaxed him to lay his head down and close his eyes. You talked softly to him, humming quietly as he began to breathe evenly.
Finally he slept. You were close to joining him when you heard his bedroom door open.
Quiet footsteps approached the bed and you saw hands reach to adjust his pillows and pull the covers over him.
The person picked Jin's phone up out of his hand. As he picked the phone up you saw the face of one of Jin's brothers.
He simply nodded at you and said “Thank you. He was really distraught. He needed this tonight. Good night.”
The call was then disconnected and you turned your own phone off.
It did not even matter what time it was. There would be no sleep for you tonight.
Your thoughts were held captive by a beautiful man curled on his side, his tear stained face now at peace and rest, because of the time you had spent together.
Your mind raced wondering what would be next for the two of you.