His stomach knotting up inside of him, Kimmon tried his best to stifle his ever-growing anxiety. But, as the silence in the air dragged on, he couldn't stop the waves of panic from continually tensing every muscle in his body.
He had finally let it all out. A confession that had been pent up in his heart for the past several months. Words that didn't fully capture all his insufferable longing for the breathtaking person standing in front of his eyes right now. All those infinite moments of heartache that he would gladly experience over and over again as long as it meant that he could have him by his side. And, now that Kimmon completely exposed himself, he had to deal with the resulting consequences. No matter how agonizing they turned out to be.
Bracing himself for the absolute worst, Kimmon let his nervous eyes roam over Copter's face. To his surprised relief though, other than the endless silence, Copter didn't seem to be conveying any negative emotions. The junior just looked altogether stunned, with his mouth slightly hung open and his naturally milky skin appearing paler than usual.
Unable to tolerate the suffocating quiet any longer, Kimmon hesitantly parted his lips. "I know this is all a bit sudden. And I wasn't expecting to hear an answer from you right now."
He paused for a brief moment, checking to see if his words elicited any other kind of reaction from Copter. There was no change. After drawing in a quick breath, Kimmon continued on.
"I just wanted to let you know. So that I can properly court you. Not under some pretense of being your fake boyfriend, but as someone who's been in love with you for a long while now."
At Kimmon's last declaration, Copter's eyes stretched impossibly wider than they already were, but he still didn't say anything.
Kimmon eventually let out a small smile, feeling some of his earlier worry gradually subside. Although Copter remained dead silent, it didn't seem that the junior was going to reject him outright now. And that was more than enough for Kimmon.
"Should we go home now?" Kimmon asked after a while, not wanting to burden the junior anymore tonight. "Copter?"
Upon hearing the gentle call of his name, Copter visibly flinched. He subsequently gave a hurried nod to Kimmon before dropping his eyes to the ground.
With that, the two of them wordlessly walked side by side together, back to where Kimmon's car was parked. As they made their way out of the park, Kimmon chanced furtive glances at Copter, who kept his gaze fixed down on the sidewalk and looked like he was lost in thought. Kimmon swallowed back a helpless sigh. What he would give to know what was going on inside that beautiful head of his right now.
When they approached the night market, Kimmon couldn't help himself and took one final risk for the evening. Without warning, he whipped around and stood right in front of Copter, blocking the junior's way forward. Startled at Kimmon's sudden movement, Copter snapped his head back up and gaped at the senior with enlarged eyes. Smiling brightly, Kimmon promptly held out his hand towards him.
"I don't want to lose you in the crowd," Kimmon justified, hinting at the overpopulated area ahead of them. After clearing his throat, he softly confessed his entire truth. "And I'd really love to hold your hand again."
Shock apparent on his features, Copter silently stared at Kimmon, his dark amber orbs meeting Kimmon's deep midnight ones for a lasting moment.
Maybe this was a step too far? Anxiety creeping up on him, Kimmon frantically began to think of ways that would mitigate the situation. But his churning mind went completely blank when Copter slowly reached his hand out and carefully placed it in his.
At the shy contact, a spark of electricity rushed through Kimmon's arm and straight to his fluttering heart. Feeling happiness overflowing through his entire soul, Kimmon gazed at Copter, who had now lowered his head again. But, although his face was kept hidden from the senior's view, Kimmon noticed the faint red flush that touched the back of Copter's neck as well as the tips of his ears.
F*ck, he's going to be the death of me.
Biting his lips, Kimmon took a second to restrain himself from giving into his instinctive wants. Because yanking Copter into his arms and kissing him senseless right now would definitely be pushing his luck. Instead, Kimmon gently linked their fingers, marveling at how perfectly they fit together. After tightening his hold on Copter's hand, Kimmon led Copter into the swarming crowd, wishing that he didn't have to let go for a continuing eternity.
***
Staring blankly at the ceiling ahead of him, Copter breathed in and out several times, attempting to calm himself down. He really needed a clear mind to think things through, and it didn't help that his heart kept hyperventilating every time the memories of this evening replayed in his head.
Copter, I don't want to be in a fake relationship with you any longer. I want it to be real. You and me, being together. I want us to be real.
I'm saying that I'd give anything and everything if I could be your real boyfriend.
Copter, I'm saying that I'm in love with you.
Feeling heat rapidly rise in his chest and coarse its way through the rest of his body, Copter weakly buried his face into his pillow. F*ck. It had already been so freaking difficult when he discovered his feelings for Kimmon, with him spending the past few weeks trying to keep them from spilling outside. But it turned out that Kimmon felt the same way towards him?! How was that even possible?! And what was he supposed to do now?!
His foolish heart immediately seized advantage of his current vulnerability. It's simple, it gleefully declared. You love him, and he loves you. So what the f*ck are you waiting for?! Go confess your damn feelings and date him already!
With flushed cheeks, Copter swiveled his body back around to lie face up on his bed. Was it really that simple? Maybe it was. But the problem was that his messed up state of being kept complicating the matter.
Dating Kimmon would make him happy. Which was something that he'd been purposefully avoiding for the past several years of his life. Because making himself happy, solely out of selfish reasons, didn't work so well with the self-punishment that he had inflicted on himself.
Of course, Copter was aware that he'd been steadily easing up on himself lately, especially since he had started working at Café Pit-a-Pat. Increasingly exhausted from his long-term loneliness, he had found it literally impossible to fully distance himself from the caring members of the Pit-a-Pat crew, like he had done with other people. Particularly Kimmon, whose inherent sweetness ended up seeping into his tired heart and capturing his entire soul.
But starting a relationship with Kimmon? Allowing himself to freely love and be loved by Kimmon? That was a wholly different matter. He knew that he didn't deserve it, and he surely wasn't ready for it. Yet still...
Copter, I'm saying that I'm in love with you.
Feeling his heart tremble and ache at the same time, Copter slammed his eyes shut. He wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.
***
"Ready to go?"
When Copter quietly nodded in response, Kimmon flashed him a charming smile. Blushing, Copter quickly spun around and proceeded to step out of the apartment. Hearing Kimmon following behind him, he willed himself not to quicken his steps and tried to focus his attention on the path ahead.
In line with his predictions, Copter didn't get an ounce of sleep the night before. But his severe lack of sleep failed to prevent his jittery nerves from exploding all over.
Unfortunately for him, he hadn't been able to come down to an ultimate conclusion. All through the night and into the morning, his brain had continued to order him to push Kimmon away, while his heart had repeatedly begged for him to accept the senior. And, to his frustration, that fiery internal debate had left him entirely beat up and totally unprepared for meeting Kimmon. Who he couldn't avoid seeing because they happened to live and work together. And who had specifically told him yesterday that he was going to properly court him now.
He said that he would court me. PROPERLY court me. Sh*t. Whatever he meant by that, it can't be good at all! A panicked Copter had thought before facing Kimmon this morning.
Except it turned out that there wasn't anything to really worry about. Because nothing seemed to have changed.
Now standing next to each other inside the elevator, Copter stole several glances at Kimmon, whose serene gaze was settled on the door. Kimmon looked calm and collected, which was exactly how he appeared when he first greeted Copter today.
Good morning, Kimmon had said to him with a soft smile before heading to the bathroom. And that was it. There was nothing else. From the moment that Copter saw him this morning, Kimmon had appeared very relaxed and untroubled. Which was in stark contrast to how Copter felt, but just like how the senior usually presented himself on any given day.
Not that he was expecting anything to happen. And it wasn't like he really knew how someone would typically act after giving such a love confession. But still...shouldn't something be different?!
The tension in Copter's body began to drain out as a plethora of mixed feelings washed over him. So it seemed that he got worked up over nothing. All things considered, though, this was good. And, more than anything, he should feel pleasantly relieved. Yes, he shouldn't mind this at all. Because he was totally cool with playing along and acting as if nothing happened last night...
Wait. Is that what this is?! Did nothing happen last night? Was it just a dream? Or was it all some kind of joke?!
Mindlessly stepping out of the opened elevator, Copter anxiously chewed on his lips as he delved further into his last theory. Given Kimmon's history of teasing him, that was actually a very plausible explanation. So likely in fact that he couldn't believe that he hadn't thought of it sooner.
A sudden force on his arm stopped Copter from moving forward and snapped him out of his brooding thoughts. Coming back to his senses, Copter realized that they were now outside, seeming to have made their way down the stairway of the apartment's entrance. He looked at the hand grabbing on to his arm before turning his confused eyes to Kimmon, who was standing right behind Copter on the last stair.
"You were going the wrong direction," Kimmon explained before pointing to the right. "The car's parked over there."
Copter blinked. "Oh right."
Looking concerned, Kimmon cocked his head to the side. "Is something wrong?"
"No."
"Really? But you look a little grumpy right now."
Copter momentarily hesitated before ultimately voicing out his growing suspicion. "Last night...you weren't joking by any chance?"
A hurt frown instantly darkened Kimmon's face. "Why do you always think that I'm joking?"
"Well, I..." Copter stuttered, feeling like a jerk due to Kimmon's wounded expression. "It was really sudden...and. And it just doesn't make any sense."
"You're having a difficult time believing me," Kimmon said, his tone laden with understanding. "Okay, then I should give you some hard evidence."
Unexpectedly, Kimmon suddenly yanked Copter towards him until Copter's face was planted in Kimmon's chest. Copter froze for a long moment, feeling paralyzed from shock.
"What are you doing?!" Copter finally squeaked while attempting to pull away.
Kimmon wrapped one arm firmly around Copter's back to keep him in place. His other hand gently tilted Copter's face slightly to the side so that Copter's left ear was pressed right against where Kimmon's heart was beating.
"Shh...it'll only take a second. Just listen."
Falling silent, Copter held his trembling breath. The sound of Kimmon's heartbeats loudly echoed in his ears and reached into his soul. Copter's eyes fluttered closed. With each passing second, the wild thumps kept increasing in volume and speed, meshing together with the pounding beats of his own thundering heart.
"It's been like this for a long while, whenever I'm with you. I gave up trying to control it."
After what felt like forever, Kimmon released him from his hold. Stuck in a momentary daze, Copter unconsciously lifted his chin up and opened his eyes to meet Kimmon's twinkling ones. With a blazing smile, Kimmon slowly leaned forward bit by bit until their faces were only a couple of inches apart.
"So don't doubt it anymore, okay?" Kimmon whispered.
"Okay," Copter breathed out.
Before all of what had just happened finally registered in his brain.
F*ck! Realization dawning on him, Copter jumped backwards and immediately scrambled away. Not that he could succeed in getting out of Kimmon's sight, given that they were heading to the same destination.
Feeling his entire face burning, Copter hastened his steps as he considered whether he should just walk to work today. He inwardly flinched when a grinning Kimmon came to his side, matching his accelerated pace with seemingly little effort.
"Huh. Were you grumpy because I wasn't changing my behavior? And you were expecting me to start hitting on you like crazy?" Kimmon surmised with an amused voice.
Coming to an abrupt stop, Copter jerked his head towards Kimmon. "What? No!" he denied right away.
Kimmon shot him a knowing look. "I was going for cool and sophisticated, but I could change my approach if that's what you dig."
Before a horrified Copter could counter Kimmon's words once more, Kimmon quickly replaced his bright smile with a serious expression.
"Did it hurt?" Kimmon asked, sincere concern marked on his features.
"What?"
"When you fell from heaven?"
The f*ck?! At a loss for words, Copter gawked at the senior with widened eyes. Appearing unfazed by Copter's bewildered reaction, Kimmon lowered his voice to a deep whisper.
"Could you grab my arm so I can tell my friends that I've been touched by an angel?"
After relocating his voice, Copter groaned out loud. "Oh my god, please stop."
"Then can I take your picture to prove to the world that angels do exist?"
"P'!"
"Okay, okay," Kimmon chuckled, backing down. But not before unintentionally knocking Copter out with another heart attack. "Let's go, my beautiful angel," he sweetly murmured, his mesmerizing eyes closely locked onto Copter's.
Forcing himself to break their eye contact, Copter frantically sped away while trying to forget about the presence beside him. He knew that it was an utterly futile attempt. Especially given the fact that Kimmon was able to make his heart shake with even the lamest of all pick-up lines.
F*ck, I'm a complete goner.
He figured that it wouldn't be too long until he finally surrendered to his heart's desire. But Copter didn't know at the time that he would receive an unexpected call that very evening. A call that would end up silencing the stubborn pleads of his poor wishful heart.
***
Author's Note: Hiyaaa, did anyone miss me? :) I came back with a long sweet chapter before I get into some impending drama. Because you know that it can't be that simple for these two (otherwise this update would have been the last chapter, with them kissing each other senseless XD). As always, thank you to all who read, vote and comment!!!