—THREE YEARS LATER.
I stared at the running water, lost in thought while I absentmindedly opened the cabinet to take out my contacts.
When I moved to shut off the water, my arm accidentally bumped my glasses and I cringed at the sound of them clattering against the floor.
"Perfect," I groaned, crouching to swipe them from the floor so I could put them on the other side of the counter.
After I successfully put my contacts in, I wandered back into my kitchen.
The freshly brewed coffee immediately wafted through my senses, followed by the sound of Kitty's deep purring at the sight of me.
I gave her a look with a small smile. "You know you aren't allowed on the counters."
She stared back at me with her wide, innocent and mischievous eyes. But she didn't fight me when I reached out to pick her up or when I set her down on the wooden flooring beside me.
I grabbed a coffee mug from my collection and poured the dark liquid into my cup, my thoughts still scattered.
"Do you know what day it is today, Kitty?" I glanced at her while I made my way over to the fridge to pull out my two favorite creamers: french vanilla and hazelnut.
Kitty only rubbed her body against my leg as she strode away from the kitchen and into the living room.
"Of course not," I sighed. "No one ever does."
While I mixed the creamers into my coffee, watching the swirls of the cream coloring over the dark liquid, my mind gravitated to them with the smallest glimmer of hope that they hadn't forgotten.
My feet were already carrying me there before I thought much of it.
I pressed the edge of my mug against my lips, allowing the hot liquid to seep between them as I swallowed and observed the rooms in front of me.
The doors were open—I never closed them. I was too afraid to. When they were closed it felt like they were really gone, and when they were open I could pretend I was waiting for them to come home.
The bedrooms were almost identical to each other. They had two sets of bunk beds and a desk each, with a closet on the walls furthest from the bathroom in the middle where the two rooms connected.
Jin, Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi would have been sharing one of the rooms if they were home with me. Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin would be sharing the other.
But they weren't home. They never would be.
I closed my eyes as I took another sip of my coffee, doing my very best to push away the tears that I knew were coming.
My phone buzzed in the back pocket of my pajama only moments later, alerting me of an incoming Skype call.
Nearly forgetting about the coffee in my hands, I sprinted toward my bedroom, narrowly dodging my cat who was innocently trying to cross the hallway.
I sat in front of my laptop and accepted the Skype call, which buffered for a few minutes before connecting.
"Y/N!" Namjoon smiled and excitedly waved. "How have you been?"
"Good, I'm great," I panted, still out of breath. "How are you? How are the others?"
"We're good," his voice muffled as he froze for a moment on my screen. When the connection was stable again, I could clearly hear the commotion going on in the background while he spoke. "We just have a lot going on today, but it's been so long that I wanted to make a point to check on you today."
"That's sweet, I appreciate it. Are the others there?"
Namjoon scratched the back of his recently dyed hair—it was a bright blue instead of the purple I was so used to—and turned to look behind him for a moment.
"Uh, I'm pretty sure they're in the dressing room right now. Or getting their hair done. Last I saw Jimin, he was getting his eyes lined for our shoot."
"I see," I sighed. "I guess you'll have to catch me up on everyone then."
He chuckled. "Of course."
"Now that you guys are basically famous, are any of you in relationships?"
Namjoon shook his head with a teasing smile. "You can't talk to us about being famous. We heard about how your sales with your new book went. How was your book tour?"
My mind backtracked to all the days I spent coping—coping with the pain of my attacker, the loss of my seven best friends, and the rough patch in my mental state and how I channeled all of it into fiction.
Fiction based on my entire experience, three years ago, with tweaked details to make it more realistic.
Because of course, including seven dolls coming to life in my story would totally be realistic.
"It was great," I answered truthfully. "It was just stressful and very new for me."
"I'll bet," he agreed. "And, to answer your question, Jimin is the only one that currently has a girlfriend."
I gasped. "Our Jimin?"
He threw his head back and laughed. "Right? That's what we said. But jokes aside, I think you'd really like her. She's a great girl. They really balance each other out."
Namjoon tapped his chin in thought. "As for Hoseok... he's been seeing someone on and off but none of us really know what's up with that. Oh! And Taehyung—"
"Taehyung is seeing someone?"
"Well, no. There was a situation."
My blood ran cold in reaction to his change in tone. "Is he okay?"
"Oh yeah, he's fine," Namjoon reassured me after studying my expression. "There was just an incident where he almost got taken advantage of because he didn't understand what was happening. Jin got to him in time, luckily. And it pissed Yoongi off when he found out, so badly that Taehyung feared for the person's sake. Taehyung hasn't really been with anyone since."
"Wow," I didn't know what else to say. "That's awful."
If anything like that ever happens again I will bust their kneecaps...
"And, uhm, Yoongi has pretty much gotten over his crush on you. And Jungkook—well, a lot of girls have been fawning over him, but it's obvious he really misses you. You know, maybe you should give him a chance."
"Eh, maybe. Anyway, how about you and Jin?"
"I've been..." He trailed off, a nervous smile tugging on his lips. "I haven't really been seeing anyone. I don't think Jin has either."
I smiled lightly, just glad I had the chance to be talking to Namjoon again.
"Are you guys still planning to come home for a little bit next Summer?"
"Yeah... about that..."
My face fell when he didn't say anything further.
"We really tried, Y/N," Namjoon attempted to explain. "We've just been so busy, and our schedules are booked up so far out with our contracts and everything—"
"It's okay," I said even though we both knew it wasn't.
It had been the same story for the past two years. They would make plans to fly in and visit only to quickly get swamped with work and then end up sending a gift over instead to make up for it.
Their first year away, they sent me an expensive laptop to "better accommodate your writing (:" that they sweetly worked together to purchase.
The year after that, they sent me a box full of their merch and handwritten letters telling me how much they missed me.
I appreciated the gestures and continued to use the laptop every day—which I was skyping Namjoon on—and still had the letters safely tucked away in a box, but I just really missed having them around.
There was a gap in my heart that only those seven dorks could fill.
"Anyway, I'm running late and management is yelling at me so I'm going to go."
"Oh..." I tried my best to hide the hurt in the cracks of my voice. "Okay. Nice seeing you."
"You too. Oh, and Y/N?"
"Yes, Namjoon?"
"Happy birthday. We love you. Our gift should be there today."
As soon as the call disconnected, I closed the lid of my laptop and the built-up tears finally cascaded over the planes of my face.
They remembered.
___
two more chapters left. im sobbing.