Ryan
His alarm woke him early, and he dressed for his run. He assumed Lana was still asleep when he left to meet Jack.
They both exchanged their customary greeting. "Hey."
"No, Peter?"
"No, he's on a different schedule on weekends. Not me since Maddie has to work."
They ran in silence until Jack broke it. "What's the story with you and Lana?"
"We're friends, nothing more."
"Like me and Maddie?"
"No, like friends not like you two who ended up with a baby. If you're so perfect, how did that happen?" Ryan asked, successfully deflecting Jack's third degree.
"You know, I never said I was perfect. Maddie will tell you I'm not, but I need to get home. Later."
Ryan watched him run off, as he entered The Landing. Rick greeted him and he felt as if he had come home. Lana wasn't there, so he bought two coffees, took a seat, and called her.
"I'm on my way."
"I have coffee."
"Is it as good as you remembered?"
"Better."
"Hi." She spoke into the phone, but she was standing in front of him. She hung up and slid into the seat across from him.
Still beautiful, he thought.
"When are you meeting with Alex?"
"In about a half hour."
"Are you planning to see your mom?"
"I'd like to."
"Do you want my car?"
"Nah, I can walk. Don't you need to shop, so you can cook me dinner?"
"Nope. I'll wait for my tutor."
"Oh man, why did I volunteer?"
"Why did I take this class?"
"You'll get it." He wasn't sure if he believed it, but he would not tell her.
Lana
While Ryan met with Alex, she went for a walk and then home to shower. By the time she was out of the shower, Ryan was back. She dressed before stepping out of the bathroom, which was good because he was waiting for her.
"After I shower, do you want to walk over to the cottage with me?"
She had stopped by the day before but agreed. She waited while he showered and felt disappointed when he too dressed in the bathroom. She had seen him shirtless more times than she could count in the pool, but the thought of his skin smelling like soap and the scent of his shaving products which filled the air differed from swim time. She had been keeping herself occupied by cleaning although nothing needed it. He made his bed, but she smoothed it. She had wiped down the kitchen and was dusting the living room when he came out of the bathroom.
He looked at her with a strange expression and she worried he could read her thoughts about how sexy she thought he was. More than once she had thought if only one night would be enough for her, but she knew it would ruin everything.
"Take a picture it will last longer."
A slow smile came across his face and brightened it up. "I was just enjoying your singing."
"My... oh right... I was singing." She always sang as she worked. If other people were around, she sang in her head. It was such a part of her she didn't even realize she was doing it. She sang everything from pop to rock to country, but lately, she had been on a musical kick. She had never seen a show in New York or even Boston, but greater Portland had a lot of theaters. She even liked to go to the high school productions just so she could enjoy a good show and remember back to her own theater days.
She had been singing All I ask of you, a love song from The Phantom of the Opera. She could feel the heat in her cheeks but secretly felt elation because he liked her singing.
"Do you need to go back in the bathroom and jerk off while I sing?" Her joke instantly fell flat.
"I won't begin to answer that, but I will tell you even if Erik didn't go to see you sing that night, he would have done what he did just somewhere else."
"You mean like my bed."
Ryan shrugged because even he knew it was a possibility. "You associate singing with the moment you found out the man you love hurt you. If you were doing the dishes, would you never do the dishes again?"
"I still sing. Clearly, you just heard me. I just keep it to myself. Also for the record, it's loved not love."
"What is?"
"You said I love Erik, but I loved him. I don't anymore."
"Okay, whatever you say."
Lana knew he didn't believe her, but what could she say? She could try to convince him, but he would still doubt her. She could tell him she loved someone else, but then the awkwardness would ruin their weekend. Instead, she turned on her heels and began humming as she grabbed her shoes and began tying them.
Ryan moved out of the bathroom doorway and came back with his running shoes and silently put them on. Once they were outside, they were both back to normal. "Wait until you see what they've done. It's a disaster."
Ryan
Ryan had given up on Lana singing at the benefit, but he still wished she wouldn't hold back because of the dickwad. He didn't believe her when she disputed him about loving her ex. He knew she was still hurting and often acted as if she hated him, but hate was always used to disguise love. She could repeat she didn't trust him, but she spent the night with him which spoke more than words. He told himself none of it mattered as long as she ended up happy.
She was right the cottage looked like a war zone. They had ripped the back porch off because they were building out in the back and would need to rebuild it. There was a blue tarp covering the hole in the side of his house. Inside the wall between the two bedrooms was demolished. Dust and debris were everywhere I was like a sledgehammer destroyed his cottage, but he knew it was part of the process. They gutted the ugly kitchen, including the old filthy linoleum. In the driveway, there was a dumpster filled to the top.
"I foolishly thought I could get an air mattress and stay here, but then you offered. Thanks for giving me a bed. Alex had said, they were ready to start construction."
"Yeah, now the deconstruction is over."
"I'm still hoping I can stay here at Christmas. If not, I'll stay at the condo again."
"You can stay at my cottage again, but I'll go home for at least the day on Christmas."
"You don't go for longer?"
She just laughed, and he knew she chose not to spend more time than necessary with her mother.
Ryan had better luck explaining the financial terms to her in person. He drew some diagrams which helped her visualize. He marveled at the information he found so easy to comprehend was so difficult for her. He knew if she ever taught him to read music he would find it impossible. They each had different aptitudes.
"You sure you don't want to drive?" He was getting ready to go see his parents.
"No, I don't mind the walk."
"It's warmed up, you may be hot in your coat."
He shrugged. He had the two pictures Christina had given him safely inside the pocket of his fleece coat. He brought them to show to his mother. He hadn't told her about his detour but planned to.
When he arrived, Kelly greeted him with a hug and they sat down. He asked his parents if they were still glad not to be in school. His mother insisted she was busy being a grandmother. He knew she liked to help Jack on days Maddie worked. He didn't feel the same jealousy he did before. He understood she did it because it was what she wanted to do, not because she loved Jack more than him.
They talked about JP for a few minutes and Ryan would see a big change in the baby even though it had only been a few weeks. "I have something I wanted to show you."
She must have sensed his apprehension. "Honey, your father knows."
He looked at his father who nodded. He didn't look disappointed, but then again John Harris was never disappointed in his sons. He may have been angry a time or two when they got in trouble or fought over mowing the lawn at the cottage. Thinking back most of the time, Ryan had to do it because he was being punished. Jack was punished once or twice too, but not nearly as often as Ryan. He knew now that it was not favoritism, it was because he had far more fun than his brother.
He explained his meeting with Christina. "It was good. It helped to talk about it with the one person who was there, who understood. She gave me these. Truthfully, I had forgotten so much of that night. I didn't even remember they existed." He took out the photos and handed them to his mother. "They help make my memories real."
It was his father who spoke. "You, son, are a father. I just wish you would choose to be one again. You deserve the feeling of holding your... breathing son or daughter for the first time. You deserve the chance to play catch with him."
Ryan knew he was referring to Will. "Do you think I am not fully aware Will was born around the same time he was?" He motioned to the pictures. I could have had a son his age, and he'd be Rory's cousin."
"Son, you are a good man with a good heart. I just want you to be happy."
"I know Dad. I know."
Ryan felt emotionally drained when he left his parents. He was glad for the walk back because it enabled him to clear his mind. He didn't want his demons of the past to weighed down his time with Lana.