Ryan
"Wherever he is he's with her now." Jack ended his call.
They had just finished their run. Ryan hadn't slept but a few hours. He was pissed at Adam and upset he couldn't help Lana.
"You lied about Peter."
"Not really, if Kristi was home, she would have seen it all, then she'd tell Megan and Peter would know, too."
"Are you going to tell Maddie?"
Jack sighed. "Maddie knows, but not that you knew."
"I knew at first, but then Lana told me they hadn't had sex. I assumed Adam was holding off, because he had some morals. When I figured out he and Lana were, I assumed again he dumped the other one. I didn't know he was sleeping with both of them."
"None of this is your fault. Lana really told you she wasn't sleeping with Adam."
"Yeah. I told you we were friends."
He omitted she was drunk.
"The girls will make sure Lana's all right." Jack assured him.
"I can't tell Heidi. She'll blame me. Shit!"
"I have to go home, but just the fact you care proves you're not the jerk everyone thinks you are."
"Thanks a lot." He knew Jack meant it as a compliment.
With the whole day stretched in front of him, he was restless. After showering, he went for his coffee. He tried working, but went out to the pool. Would Lana avoid the pool? She loved it.
He was almost asleep on the lounge when Will showed up.
He sat up straight. "How is she?"
"Mad!"
"At him or me?"
"Both but mostly you. Did you know?"
"At the beginning, but I thought he dumped the other one. If I had known, I would have said something. She deserved better especially after her ex."
"I need to stop seeing Cassie, don't I?"
"Yup, unless she breaks up with Cole."
"He's a year rounder. I'm not."
Ryan nodded. It was the problem. Summer kids leave come Labor Day.
"Sorry kid. You want to swim."
"Yeah. She'll probably be mad I'm over here, but I don't care. You didn't cheat on her. You never would."
"No, but we will never be more than friends, if we're even that now."
He couldn't even explore if he had feelings for her, because the two things she wanted, he wasn't willing to give. It didn't mattered because she hated him.
He jumped in the pool and let himself hit the bottom. As his body floated back up his head fell forward and he did the dead man's float until he needed a breath. He felt hopeless in the same way he did when Isobel took advantage of him and smeared his good name. Neither were worse than after Christina. Only once had Ryan been in love. Whatever he thought he was with Isobel wasn't really love.
He was twenty and had been dating Christina for over a year. They met in the dorms during his sophomore year. She was a freshman and lived the floor below him. One day she knocked on the door to complain about the noise - loud music and heavy feet. One look at her and he would have thrown his speakers out the window had she asked. He was contrite and the next time he saw her at a party he never left her side. They became an item and were rarely apart except for classes. She came to visit him in Boston over Christmas break and his mother loved her. They survived a summer apart with only a few visits. He was young and head over heels.
When he returned for his junior year, they picked up where they left off. They were living a dream until Christina found out she was pregnant. Ryan thought they had been safe, and it shocked them both. Instead of enjoying collegiate life, he was worried about his future.
He was desperate to figure out a way to finish his degree. He couldn't drop out before his senior year. He envisioned moving in with his parents and going to UMass Boston where his father taught. He knew Jack would think he was a failure. He always cared about what his brother thought.
The plan was not ideal, but the biggest obstacle was he kept putting off telling his parents he'd screwed up. None of it mattered after Christina's membranes ruptured prematurely before six months. They called it PROM. How could something so horrible share the same name as a high school dance?
All these years later, he never forgot the night when Christina delivered their boy. It happened so quickly. It felt like a nightmare. They were young and unprepared to have a baby and even more so for the reality of losing a baby. Ryan felt grief and guilty equally. His problems had been solved. He could stay at Georgetown and he didn't have to disappoint his mother.
When they left the hospital the next morning empty-handed, it should have been easy to resume life like it never happened, but it had. Christina struggled even though she hadn't been happy about the pregnancy at first either. Their baby had a gender and was real, but he was gone.
At twenty, Ryan had planned to be a husband and father and derail his future. Soon after they lost their son, Christina started drifting away from him until one day, she broke his heart. He had loved her, but she didn't love him enough.
He remembered the guilt when he went home for the summer and told his mother they broke up. She was disappointed, but he kept thinking about how she had been a grandmother and didn't know it. He spent the summer trying to forget with girls he picked up on the beach. If he had a reputation in high school, he cemented it his last summer. After graduation, he started working and stopped visiting The Point.
Ryan went from almost becoming a husband and father to never wanting to ruin his life with marriage and children. Any hint a relationship was getting serious he would cut loose, until Isobel.
As he floated it occurred to him, Lana had a similar personality as Christina. No wonder he became friends with her. Once again, the best thing in his life was gone.
Lana
She didn't hear from Adam until Sunday morning. His text read, I'm sorry. I know I hurt you.
She replied, You and your buddy can both go to hell!
This was on me. Don't be mad at Ryan.
She didn't believe him. How could Ryan not know? It had to be the reason he didn't approve of her seeing Adam.
Will made it clear he would not stop being Ryan's friend. "He didn't cheat on you!" Her little brother argued.
"He knew!"
"He said only at first, but he thought he stopped. The guy came every weekend. He obviously liked you."
Liked screwing me, but he didn't make advances on her for weeks, probably because he was already getting it elsewhere. Adam was old for her, but the girl looked twenty-one! She didn't know him at all.
"You want to swim?"
"No!" Unfortunately, she did, but couldn't - not anymore. She wanted to forbid Will from seeing Ryan, but remembered her youth when anything her mother said no to she did, including having sex with Erik when she was too young. They weren't very responsible which was never an issue, since Erik was shooting blanks.
He survived cancer and had a new lease on life. Lana thought he recovered, because he was meant to be her soulmate. Unfortunately, the treatment during his adolescence damaged him and eventually their marriage.
Lana called Heidi because she needed a friend. "It happened again!" She blurted.
"What? Did you have a fight with your mother?"
"No, Adam has been screwing some other chick."
"What? Cam thought he was a nice guy. He said both his and Ryan's assistants liked him and they don't like every client. How did you find out?"
"She showed up and practically did him in the middle of Plover Way."
"You're kidding!"
"It's like a bad movie and it's all Ryan Harris' fault!"
"What did Ryan do?"
"He claimed to be my friend and let it happen to me again!"
"Did he know? I'm gonna kill him!"
"Not before I do!"
"I'm calling that son of a..."
"Now?" Lana hoped Heidi would take care of the son of a bitch.
"Yup. I'll call you back."
Lana was left holding her phone. She couldn't even smile.