it's really stuck out to me that the Amelia we see now was so different then the Amelia at the beginning of malignant. But that's because our first impressions of Amelia was when she was kidnapped by a man she despised. Amelia's character from the beginning was portrayed as someone stubborn, emotional, angry, and argumentative because she was forced in a scary situation. But now that he memory was wiped, this is the Amelia we would've seen from the beginning if the storyline was different and Harry was good, an Amelia that didn't have a guard up to protect herself. Her character is soft, patient, understanding and lovable. This is what Amelia's character was all along, not the one at the beginning of the series when she was scared and trapped by an abductor.
anyway>>>>>>>>
15 Days until War
I ran my hands through my damp hair, trying to air dry it as much as I could so it leaves a natural wave. I stared into my eyes through the reflective surface of my bedroom mirror, fully dressed and sat in the chair.
I didn't realize for a while that a figure was standing in the doorway a distance behind me, and when I focused my vision through my mirror I saw it was Harry leaning in the frame with his arms folded over his chest. He has a small smile on his face, dressed in black form head to toe.
My lips curled to a smile back, staring at him through the reflection as he was watching me.
"You look nervous." He broke the silence, staying leaning in the distance behind.
"I would be lying if I said I wasn't." I answer back quietly and honestly, staying sat in my seat.
"You really don't have to come with me, you know that right?" He says while sticking his fingers in his tight jean pockets and standing up more straight.
Today was the day that Harry orchestrated a huge Malignant meeting. He was going to run through everything that will be happening the day of the final war. When he told me about this, he never implied that I go with him, but I wanted to immediately.
"I know but we talked about this, I want to see what this is all about. I need to know what's gonna happen the day you leave possibly forever." I turn around in my chair and look at him full on instead of through the mirror.
"I just don't want you to be frightened, of them or me. No one will hurt you, but you seeing me all fired up and stuff is a part of me you aren't used to seeing. I don't want to push you away more then I ever want to." He says in caution, but I was too admit to change my mind.
"No, I need to come with you. I know nothing will happen to me as long as you're there." I nod, not letting anything change my mind at this point.
"Okay darling." He says, walking up to me while I turned back and faced he mirror again.
He strides up to my chair and looks at me through the mirror, placing his hands on my shoulders and leaning down so he was looking over my left shoulder and into the mirror with me.
"You're pretty." He smiles with the side of his head against mine. His glowing teeth making my heart skip a beat. He had such a nice smile, his teeth the prettiest I've seen. His two front teeth were slightly long then the rest, making them look so cute and innocent when me smiled.
"I hope you know how lovely your smile is." I say back, looking at his perfect face.
"Don't make me blush." He grins while pecking my cheek, standing back up straight. "Your mum should be here any minute to watch Briar." He says before turning around and walking out of the room, leaving his scent of cologne behind.
I look back at myself in the mirror and exhale a deep breath, not knowing what today will bring but I need to face it. I eventually stood up in my black jeans and light blue zip up sweater, tucking my hair behind my ear and taking one last look in the mirror before heading out of my room.
I walk down the hallway and down the steps to see Briar sitting on the living room carpet staring wide eyed at the television, fingers in her mouth. She was staring lost in space, her duck stuffed animal in her other hand.
Harry was opening the front door as I stepped off the last stair, my mom walking in with a smile and a bag in her hand.
"Babysitter ready for duty." She said in humour while Harry greeted her inside.
"Thank you again." Harry said kindly while she took off her shoes.
"Hi mom." I smiled and walked up to her.
"Hi baby." She smiled back as I came over and gave her a warm hug, she always gave nice hugs.
"I see she's already occupied." Mom says over my shoulder, referring to Briar who was staring at the television.
"Yeah she won't be much of a hassle today." Harry chuckles and scratches the back of his neck.
"Whatever works right?" She laughs. "But I did bring her some more toys and things." She holds up the bag of items.
"Then I'm sure you'll have a great time, we shouldn't be too long." Harry says while putting his shoes on, grabbing his sunglasses off the hook as well as his keys.
"Well be careful please." My mom grabs my hand and Harry's at the same time. "I need you both back in one piece." My stomach turns at her words.
"Don't worry about that." Harry says back, look at me as well. "No ones getting hurt, it's just a quick meeting regarding the war. And we will have guards this time to make sure." He says to the both of us, my moms hand holding each of our still.
"Okay. Well answer your phone when I call so I know." She says.
"We will." I nod.
"Knock knock!" A body at the corner of my eye jumped into the doorframe, making me jolt in startle.
Niall was standing there with sunglasses on, smiling but scaring the shit out of me.
"Hey losers!" Louis also jumps around the corner with a smile and sunglasses on.
"Well thats our que to leave I guess." Harry says to my mom.
"Okay well once again be careful!" She says.
"We will." He says once last time before taking my hand and leading me out the door.
"Love you." I say to her.
"Love you too." She smiles back as I turn away and walk with Harry, Louis, and Niall down the driveway.
"So we carpooling or what?" Louis says.
"Why?" Harry chuckles with his hand still in mine, I felt really secure when holding his hand.
"I don't know, bonding maybe?" Louis said back with a slight upbeat voice.
"Why are you all not miserable today?" Harry asks.
"Cause I'm getting amped up." He hops a few times in adrenaline. "We're getting closer to the war." He finishes.
"And you're excited about that?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Excited to die? Not really. But excited to kill some Salvation in the process? Hell yeah." He smiles to me through his sunglasses.
"Glad someone's thinking positive for once. You're really carrying the weight for the rest of us." Harry says in analyzation of Louis behaviour.
"It's just because he got laid twenty minutes before coming here today." Niall adds while we get to the car.
My face scrunched up as Louis got to the drivers side, opening the door and looking over the roof of the car at us with his tongue sticking out and a head nod, confirming that was true. He had a real smirky attitude about it all.
"Gross." I chuckle, only because I know that was my best friend he was talking about.
"Sorry but also not sorry." He snickers while disappearing into the car.
"Fuck sake." Harry whispers a laugh under this breath, opening the car door and gesturing me inside of it.
I smile lightly and get in the car, him shutting the door behind me while walking over to the other end and hopping in.
"Niall's the one with the nasty hickey on his neck." Louis points at Niall in the passenger seat in front of me while I did up my seatbelt.
"Who's that from?" Harry asked from my left.
"Don't worry about it." Niall answered like he didn't want to, or it was a secret I guess.
"He's just embarrassed." Louis teases.
"Shuddup Lou."
"Why are we carpooling again?" Harry changes the subject.
"Bonding god damnit." Louis says while starting up the engine.
"Oh right." Harry realized. "But why are we deciding to bond now when we never focused on bonding before hand?"
"Because we didn't know our life expiry dates before, now we do." Louis answered but in a way that seemed like a very normal manor, as if it was just any sentence he spoke.
A huge part of me got really sad when he said that, and the fact he was so okay with it. No one really reacted by his daunting sentence, because they knew it was true and they acted like it wasn't a big deal. I was sitting in a car with men that weren't scared of things like death, and it was the bravest yet terrifying thing I've ever witnessed. People are naturally afraid to die, in our hearts we can all feel it. But these fearless men seemed to talk about it like it was taken so casually and death was as common as doing laundry.
I felt Harry's hand place on my thigh, it immediately snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked over at him on my left and caught his eyes on mine that sensed my discomfort. He softly rubbed my leg and formed his lips into a line, speechless about the horrible topic. I placed my hand on his and nodded, turning my eyes to out the window as we drove off.
Louis takes out a cigarette and sticks it into his mouth while driving, fishing through his pocket to retrieve a silver lighter and sparking the flame.
"Louis." Harry clears his throat from the seat behind him, making his eyes meet his through the rear view mirror. I could tell Harry was gesturing to me, that he shouldn't smoke in the car when I'm here but I didn't really care.
"Oh right." Louis says in realization before looking at me. "Amelia would you like a cigarette?" He asks instead, which threw me off completely.
"No that's not what I meant idiot." Harry shakes his head and shuts his eyes.
"Oh!" He comes to an even greater epiphany. "Amelia's do you mind if I smoke?" He corrects himself, that question making more sense. I couldn't help but laugh a bit.
"That's fine Louis, thanks for asking." I nodded with a humoured smile, even knowing he wouldn't of asked if Harry didn't gesture him too.
"I can't believe you thought I meant offer Amelia a cigarette." Harry said all baffled still while Louis drove down the road and lit his cigarette.
"It's not like I was asking her to sniff painkillers like I know you would." He jabs.
"Shuddup dick." Harry kicked the back of his seat hard which made the whole thing jolt, Niall laughing a bit under his breath.
"Ow hey I felt that prick!" Louis shouted back in reaction to Harry's strong kick through the black leather seat.
I don't know why I found this funny, but I did. Even though their banter was addressing Harry's past with drugs, it was hard not to find a little funny with just the way they delivered arguments about it.
"Well don't be an asshole or I'll do it again." Harry said like a child from behind him.
Louis suddenly reaches his hand down next to his seat and pulls the leaver on the side, making the back of his drivers chair fly backwards and the headpiece to whack Harry straight in the nose. The chair was stuck fully reclined and crushing Harry.
"Louis!" He shouted the minute the back headrest of drivers chair hit his face.
"Sorry what was that?" Louis said in cockiness, knowing what he did while sat up forward and driving still.
Harry harshly pushes Louis' reclined chair back up straight and starts kicking it repetitively in annoyed anger, getting Louis right in the back a bunch of times.
"Okay call truce!" Niall stepped in, making Harry stop.
"Well he's being a little fucking bitch!" Harry exclaims with furrowed brows.
"You're the little bitch who started this all by calling me an idiot!" Louis argued in defence.
"Just shut up!" Niall silenced them both.
Wow, they were all just children stuck in big scary looking grown men.
They all went silent as I just tried to contain my laughter, smiling to myself and shaking my head. They stopped fighting completely and Louis just looked back at the road he was driving down, quietness taking over the small car.
But when I thought this was all over— Suddenly Louis slams the break which only makes Harry fly forward into the back of Louis's seat roughly, Harry being the only one not wearing a seatbelt.
"Louis!" Harry barked as his whole tall frame flew into the back of Louis' leather seat aggressively.
"Seatbelt bitch." He said back just to get the last word, not actually caring that Harry wasn't wearing a seatbelt but just wanted to aggravate him more.
"Okay okay okay stop, seriously." Niall shoves Louis with his hand as Harry sits back up in his seat.
My laughter couldn't be contained anymore, so as the car went silent I snorted out a laugh I couldn't keep in. It was the kind of laugh that wouldn't go away and would eventually made my stomach cramp.
Harry looks at me while I was laughing, everyone else silent.
"You think this is funny?" He says in a half serious half teasing tone, but I couldn't even answer because I was laughing.
I shake my head in no but still was laughing uncontrollably, my eyes watering and my hand covering my mouth.
He shakes his head but lightly smiles to himself, my voice the only in the vehicle. After about three more seconds I heard Niall snickers in front of me, starting to laugh under his breath but trying to control it.
My eyes shift to Louis in the mirror, seeing his lips curl into the cigarette as he was smiling but also hiding it by looking out the window. I can tell because of my laughter, he found this whole thing funny too.
I heard Harry chuckle next to me, looking down at his lap and shaking his head but smiling as well. Everyone found this funny and they all tried different ways to hide it, it made the car space a lot more light hearted.
We drove the rest of the way to the meeting, Harry's hand taking mine as we got closer. His thumb rubbed in circles while our fingers were intertwined. It was a soothing feeling. Ever since the kitchen scenario, we haven't done anything like that. He will still give me a kiss on the cheek or a peck on the lips once in a while, but neither of us let us get to those heated points. Not after I found out how much it kills him in the long run.
There were many moments where I wanted to kiss him harder and have him hold me close again, but it was something I couldn't let myself get to. I had to start preparing for the future he wasn't apart of, this wasn't the time to start falling in love with someone.
So I will not be falling in love with Harry Styles, as much as I wanted to, I can't let myself experience that hurt.
"I think we're getting close." Niall's says as we were driving down an open road that was all tall hay fields, but working through all of that 8ft hay was men in leather. They were disappearing into the grass, all heading towards somewhere we couldn't see. Along this wide road we're cars and motorbikes all parked alongside each other, making it a little difficult to weave through because they're were so many vehicles for as long as I could see.
There was a nervous pit in my stomach, seeing so many aggressive looking men. Some covered in tattoos, other with huge muscles and scarred bodies. They were all in leather Malignant jackets. But seeing those jackets made a huge part of me really nervous, the part of me that remembers living in the war and how we learned to feel nothing but fear when seeing these jackets on someone's back. I bit the inside of my cheek, my heart thumping.
"No one will touch you." Harry's voice snaps me out of my thoughts, my eyes pulling from the window and turning to see him looking right at me.
"How'd did you know I was nervo—"
"You're biting your cheek again and your hand is sweaty." He says, his hand still in mine.
I go to pull my hand away in instinct cause immediately I felt a bit embarrassed that he was holding my sweaty hand but when I went to disengage he just tightened his grip.
"Don't." He kept my hand firmly in his. "Don't pull away, I don't care." He smiles softly, not caring that my hand was clammy and gross out of my nervousness.
He lifts my hand and bring it to his lips, kissing my knuckle before bringing it back down.
"Okay I'm parking here and hoping we find this spot after." Louis pulls over between two cars and parks, men walking everywhere towards the field and disappearing into the tall grass.
"Where are they all going?" I ask in confusion.
"You'll see." He smirks as Louis shuts off the car.
We all get out, Niall and Louis walking over to the trunk of the car while I was shutting my door. When I turned around from my car door, Harry was standing in front of me to my surprise. My back was against the car as he stood in front of me, looking down into my eyes through his black sunglasses.
"You okay?" He asks in caution, Malignant men all around.
I nodded in answer, but I was really really nervous. I didn't want him to know that so much though because it was my choice to come here today and I didn't want him to feel guilty if I was regretting my choice. I believed him when he said no one would touch me, he is the leader after all.
"Harry." Niall says to my right, making us both look.
He was suddenly in a Malignant jacket, and in his hand was another one for Harry.
"We didn't want to wear these around you mum if it made her a little uncomfortable." Niall said to me, making my eyes turn at Louis who was shutting the trunk with his leather jacket suddenly on as well.
Harry retrieves the leather jacket from Niall's hand, turning back to me with it clenched in his right fists.
"I haven't worn a Malignant jacket since you were four months pregnant." He says to me, looking at the jacket like he was hesitant to put it on.
"Why is that?" I murmur.
"Because I didn't want to wear it anymore." He whispers while looking at the piece of clothing that made the world feel so much pain and fear.
He looked at a loss, so hesitant to put on this jacket because it wasn't who he was anymore. The jacket was a symbol of someone he use to be, and it looked like he was struggling to step into that person again.
"It's just a jacket." I whisper in persuasion, trying to let him know it's okay. "It doesn't make you this man." I say while placing my hands on his chest through his black T-shirt.
He looks at me then back at the jacket.
"You're right." He says while opening up the leather. "But I won't be wearing it today." He then says while putting it around my back.
I arched my brow as he wrapped me in the jacket, making me put my arms through it. The material wasn't meant for my size so I was basically swimming in it.
"You can wear it today." He smiles softly through his shades.
"Why?" I asked while being engulfed in it.
"Because when I look at you in it, it won't be a symbol of hurt in my eyes as much." He explains, still standing less then a step in front of me while my back was pressed to the car exterior.
I smile softly and stepped up on my tippy toes to peck his lips, casual pecks being more regular to us now and more comfortable to me.
He smiles at my peck and takes off his sunglasses, flipping them around and sliding them on my face. I was now decked out in my black apparel; black jacket, black jeans, and black raybans.
"C'mon baby." He grabbed my hand and pulled me off the car, Niall and Louis joining us as we walked towards the field.
Niall looks at me from head to toe, smirking.
"Nice Amelia, badass." He praises while Harry keeps his hand in mine.
I smiled softly as we walked into the tall 8ft grass like everyone else, Harry paving the way for me as I kept my grip right in his. I still didn't know where we were going and why it was so hidden. How did he know where to go? How did anyone? We are literally swarmed in tall hay like grass with no sense of direction.
But when the tall grass came to a sudden end, we were standing within hundreds if not a couple thousands of leather jackets. They were all standing in a huge crowded circle in an open concept field. The only thing I could compare it to was a crop circle, because I've never seen something quite like it.
There were men's backs to us all, a bunch of them smoking different things and bantering upon each other. When they saw Harry, Niall and Louis— they moved aside and made it easier for all of us to weave through.
I decided to keep my head down when going through all the guys that looked very intimidating to me, knowing who they were and what they were capable of. My hand was death gripped into Harry's as he lead the way, his thumb stroking mine the entire time like he sensed my discomfort.
We finally got to the front which was the middle of a wide open circle of men. Harry turned around to face me at the edge of the circle while Niall and Louis proceeded to walk into the middle of it.
"Just stay right here, okay?" He looks down at me with both of his hands in mine.
I nodded.
"I'm gonna be right here, you will be just fine." He says over the background noise of everyone chatting amongst themselves.
I nodded again through the sunglasses and large jacket, trusting him.
He let go of my hands and turned around to walk in the middle of the field circle, standing right in the centre with Louis and Niall by his side and facing my direction. All I could see was black leather, they were all gathered in a circle that felt like it went a mile out.
Harry takes out a gun from his waistband, raising it up in the air and shooting it twice. I flinched at the noise, my eyes wide because I didn't even know he had a loaded gun in the side of his pants.
But when the gun shots fired in the air, everyone went silent and looked around at him from all angles.
He tucks the gun back in his jeans, taking out a cigarette and sticking it between his soft pink lips. Louis tosses him the lighter he was using earlier and take his time lighting the cigarette in his mouth while everyone silently watched. Once it was lit, the smoke immediately drew from his mouth and into the air.
"Glad I can get everyones attention." He spoke with the cigarette between his lips, looking around at his audience.
"So." He starts off, glancing. "We have one last war, one last war and we are done running from Salvation." He spoke boldly, like a leader would and it was a whole new side I was seeing.
"How many of you want to survive this fight?" He asks, immediately everyone raised their hands.
"And how many of you are willing to die?" He then asks, all of those hands staying up that I could see.
"Good, because we are out numbered, and the odds are not in our favour. Salvation promises us all a life of freedom if we eliminate them all, and if you want to survive, that's what we're going to do." He drew from his cigarette, the smoke shortly blowing out the corner of his mouth.
"Now I'm gonna ask, how many of you have families. And be honest, there's no point hiding it anymore." He then said.
To my surprise, a good 1/4 of what I could see raised their hands. It caught me off guard to think these men had children and loved ones but yet I had a child with the leader of this gang.
"Well, me too." He said, my eyes widening a bit.
Immediately there was some whispering bicker all around, obviously this was news to people. I'm shocked that he revealed that.
"I have a daughter, and because of this war I'll never get to see her grow up. So I've decided that the day of the war, wecwill be surrendering for the sake of living." He said boldly, making everyone basically gasp at this point like it was an unspeakable thing. Even Niall and Louis looked at him in confusion.
"I know, it's not something I'd ever enforce in the past. But I know some of you agree you just don't want to admit it. If you have a family, or children for that matter, I know you want to survive for them. So for their sake and their protection, we will be asking for mercy on Salvation. I don't care if that means we have to flee the country for the rest of our lives, if that's what it takes for Salvation to let us live then that's what will happen. We will shed these jackets and become individuals who can start clean. This will be our only way of survival, we are extremely outnumbered by them at this point. If we want to survive, we take this chance." He announces strongly, instructing the most mature way of all of this.
"But, just because we surrender, doesn't mean they will accept. If they decline this, we fight. As much as we want to live, we will die fighting and that's how Malignant will go down in name. Even if they have 55 thousand men, you rip as many of them to shreds as you can. They will be blood thirsty for what we did to the world, but we will kill every single one of them for what they did to us. We once killed the rich to give the poor a better way of life. We thought killing the diluted spoiled citizens that spit our poor asses in the streets was once the right decision, but we were wrong. We thought that murder was what these people deserved because they got better chances at life then us. We thought that if we got rid of them all, we would be happy and this was their karma for treated us like trash all our life..." he paused, taking another drag from his smoke as everyone was dead silent.
"But we were wrong, I was wrong..." he blew the grey smoke out and suddenly met eyes with mine by surprise, "Because I learned that someone else's fate is never my decision, and that I don't get to play god."
I felt my lungs compress when he said that looking right at me in a slightly quieter voice.
"I don't expect you to understand." He murmured while sitting on the edge of the bed in front of me, shaking his head.
"Harry you don't get to play God. You are one of billions of people on this earth! I understand you are an angry person but just because you grew up on the rougher side of things doesn't give you the right to think you're superior to everyone else because you have no conscious to kill!"
I shut my eyes as I hade a really hazy, really blurry and slightly jumpy thought in my head. It was a vision of Harry sitting on the edge of the bed in a bedroom I didn't recognize, saying things I never felt like I've heard before. I heard my voice yelling those things to him, like this was a conversation we had.
A conversation we had in my forgotten past.
Harry isn't god, we've discussed this before.
"But despite how things may go, these are the plans of that day. We are only 15 days till the war, and we need to prepare. The fight will commence at 1pm, and at noon sharp there will be trolleys that come pick up all members of Malignant in four different spots around Ashbourne, all bringing us to Main Square to where Salvation will be. Now before everything begins, we will all be barcoded, and so will they. In Main Square there will be a very large screen that's attached to a building. The screen will be a Satellite Hybrid live map that will show red dots and green dots. The map will be the town of Ashbourne, and the dots will be each and every one of us. From what I was informed, we will be the red and they will be the green, and when someone dies, the dot you once were on the massive screen disappears. This way, we know how many Salvation will be left and where to find them, but that goes for the same on us. You will be hunted 24/7 until your heart stops beating. We are doing it this way because then no one can flee the scene. If we happen to win, we will know by when all the green dots are gone." Harry explains the most organized war layout, making my throat tight.
A part of me hoped he would just flee the scene and we'd run to a different country, but no. He was trapped in this war and the only way he could leave was win. He can't even hide if he wanted to, he would be found.
"So everyone will need to come with more then just guns. Two handguns and sixteen bullets will not get you far if it's your only weapon. You will need them, but as long as other things when you run out of ammo. I'm talking knives, baseball bats, crowbars, a fucking Bowen arrow for all I care. You will need weapons that will last you. Hospitals in the area will be closed, so if your deathly injured then you will have no chance at survival. Make your moves carefully, don't jump into fires if you know you can't protect yourself. We will have guys stationed on top of building with snipers, other guys guarding the doors to protect them. The whole world is against us because they think Salvation is what protects them, but they are wrong. Salvation is what threatens to kill our newborn children and forces women we care about into prostitution for their own personal gentlemen clubs. They aren't any better then us, so they deserve to die just as much as we do." He shouts so everyone will hear him, my heart racing during this entire thing.
I didn't know what I expected to see today coming to this meeting. I thought I was going to be frightened and heart wrenched to see Harry in his Malignant prime. I was sacred to see the aggressive side of him that drove him once to kill people. The minute he shot that gun in the air and lit the cigarette I assumed my suspicions were true and I was about to see a really nasty side of his beautiful personality.
But I didn't see that.
I saw a leader that was stronger then stone and wanted to claim mercy. I didn't need memories to know that he was once different, probably when I met him. But that's not the case now.
He wanted to be good, and for him and his gang members to be free.
"This is our last shot, we either die legends, or live in freedom."
Everyone slowly started to clap, then it started building and building until the slow clap turned into screaming cheers. Harry didn't smile nor encourage them to cheer for him, he just nodded and threw his cigarette away.
I watched him humbly nod and run his hand back through his hair, looking around as everyone remained cheering. I slowly clapped as well, smiling as he made eye contact like he somehow heard my claps amongst everyone else's. When our eyes met he smiled, hands intertwining behind his back.
"I love you." He mouthed silently to me from a great distance under everyone's cheers.
I smiled softly and continued clapping, happy about speech and where he decided to go with it. My heart was still racing and my palms were damp. Niall slung his arm around Harry's shoulder with a smile, congratulating him which made him smile a bit and pull our eyes apart
I watched him as he started to talk to Niall and Louis who all looked somewhat happy. I bit my lip and admired him from a far, my stomach twisting like crazy. My blood was pumping so strong that my knees felt weak but I knew it was only because of one thing.
"I was falling in love with Harry Styles." I whispered just enough for myself to hear.
//
fuck man rip this book is coming to an end I wanna cry I don't know a life without hamelia lmao. (ps book will not be ending right at 300, you'll know when it ends because I'll tell you a chapter before)