In which connections are made.
OWP POV
The next day came and with it the struggles of balancing sleep with critical addictions. M/N sprinted for all he's worth (precisely one dollar and thirty-eight cents) and slid in a mere millisecond before the bell.
"Aaaaaand he's SAFE!" He pretty much screamed. He was met with stares. "English, motherfuckers, do you speak it?" Damn, tough crowd.
M/N POV
I miss the good old US...everyone got my jokes. Even if they didn't appreciate them. Ah well. Aizawa's saying something...
"I reviewed yesterday's battles. L/N." This'll either be bad or worse. "Stop being a fool. You may be able to heal effectively, but that isn't an excuse to purposely injure yourself." What a fucking idiot. Being a fool is what gives me personality.
"Sure thing." Don't be absurd, there's no way I'm going to change anything. Judging by the upcoming events, the blood will spill and I can have some fun with that.
He goes on talking to specific students and then class leadership positions. Speedy suggests voting, and I laugh. The recent presidency just proves that these ridiculous plebes have no idea what they're doing. I'm from America, these fools over here don't have what it takes. I slick my hair back and chuckle, standing up and strutting to the front to shove Iida out of the way (with love).
"Friends. Countrymen. Are we going to sit here, complacent fools, when right outside there are homeless children starving in Africa? A femur in every pot and an industrial size freezer in every apartment. Vote for me or you'll never see your children again." I do the peace signs and fall off the podium that naturally appears when making a political statement. There's dead silence but I'm a confident young man who could go to the YMCA any time I want so it doesn't bring me down.
Some time passes with votes being cast as I grip onto the edge of my desk and feel perspiration bead on my forehead. The tally marks appear on the board. Three for Green. Two for Yaoshaoijsad. One for Glasses. Fourty-seven for me.
"I'd like to thank the Academy and just I can't believe-"I'm cut off by Aizawa hooking a foot around my shin, sending me to the ground and somehow using his devil magic to make me shut up.
Midoriya has won, and God woman is vice president, a title that is nice but utterly useless unless the normal president is killed. Which I doubt will happen here. He's stuttering and dying like my will to live up there. Oh well, soon it won't be his problem anyway. Iida over there is spazzing out at getting a vote, since he voted for Green.
"Great, it's official. Time for lunch, leave." Aizawa says.
Ah, today is the day that the school gets broken into. I'm going to explore, I want to see who it really is that breaks in. That means crusty man!
"Yeah, guys, I'm going to go elsewhere to eat because I have prior commitments. Ceeyaoh."
"Hey wait! L/N!" Someone yells. I turn around, seeing Kaminari trip and fall onto his face. I bust out laughing because I'm a good friend. He gets up. "I thought you were going to text me about your healing stuff," he inquires. He didn't get the notification? Then who did I send it to? Oh well, a problem for another time. aHaha.
"You must've messed up your number. It's a healing factor and I heal from stuff and it's not a quirk, so it can't be taken or negated. The only thing that could possibly kill me is something that doesn't exist." I back away. "I'm going to go consume sustenance now." I walk away, leaving him without the chance to respond to this new information.
Maybe I'll go to the roof. That's an easy access point, and there's nothing suspicious about wanting to eat there. How to get there? I walk around the quickly emptying halls until I spot the violet-haired beanpole. I will be friends with him or die trying. But of course I can't die, so I can't lose. I walk up and poke his shoulder.
"Hey, purple man, you look like you know what's going on around these parts. How would one abscond to the roof?"
I ask, quite politely may I add. He stares at me.
"Left." very bluntly.
"Thanks, what's your name? Don't try to escape, you won't. Mine's M/N." He'll probably try his quirk to leave my presence. What a fool.
"Hitoshi Shinso. Why do you ask?" his eyes narrow even more.
"So suspicious. And because you seem interesssssssss-"
Hitoshi POV holy shit guys
What does this weirdo want? I've not seen him around, but of course, it's only the third day of school. He's probably not important, and after now I'll not see him again. But interesting? Not sure about that.
"Go up to the roof and le-" my words trail off seeing him begin to spasm, blood trickling out of his nostrils and pooling in that space above your upper lip (philtrum). He falls to the ground and I take a step backward. They can't convict me if they can't find me. I turn to leave but something latches around my ankle. I turn my head slowly, seeing this L/N propped up on one elbow, smiling at me with ankles crossed.
"I'll have you know that I drank my milk this morning to be prepared for your shit. See, once I decide to be your friend, you have absolutely no say in the matter henceforth. I'll see you later." he gives a mock salute and falls into a lazy jog. Gross.
M/N POV get cockblocked
Yay, forming more inter-personal connections! This is fun, I've never had this many friends before, even in my other life. Anyway, I'm here. Huh, you'd think there's at least be a fence if the door isn't locked. Maybe Nezu assumes nobody wants to commit suicide around here. Well he's wrong :)!
Lunch must have started by now. Any minute...there it is. A purple swirling mass. Handy Man himself steps out. So it IS him who sneaks in! Good, if any of those traitor theory videos I watched were true I probably would have cried or something.
"Handy Man, my old nemesis!"I say, pointing dramatically.
"Okay, no, this is literally the first time I've ever seen you," he replies.
"Well you...y-you look like a toe!" he gasps while touching his chest, momentarily forgetting to lift up his pinky.
"Ow! Shit!" he screeches. I start laughing, what an amateur. He turns and frowns under his hand, excuse me, Father.
He lunges forward with his crazy speed and grabs my throat. I feel a familiar itching and something wet running down.
"AH WAIT! That person on the street was you? You cost me a shirt! Bitch!" that was him! He looks shocked and grabs me again on the arm, the same thing happening.
"Amazing, you really are interesting. What's your name, kid?" he asks.
"First, I'm not a kid, I have an old soul. You're only like 20 so you couldn't even buy alcohol back in the states. Second, M/N. I'll probably regret telling you that soon enough, but oh well. It's not like you scare me-" I'm cut off as he tries to shove me off the edge of the roof. "Hey, that's not very cash money of yOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" I scream as I fall about 15 stories. Crashing into the ground, I get to view all of my organs spread about. Pulling myself up as my skin reseals and presumably grows new guts, I scream.
"WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE NOW? ASSHOLE I'LL KICK YOUR ASS LATER! CRUSTY-ASS MOTHERFUCKER! YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER, AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES! Oh hello, nice to meet you." It's Monoma, out here looking like a teenager who just saw somebody smash into the concrete at terminal velocity mere feet from him. "Oh, kid, you ain't looking too good. Do you need to sit down? Can I get you anything in like a few minutes when I can have legs again?" his eyes roll back and he falls. "That's not good." A few minutes later he comes to. Looking at me in fear, he scoots away from my looming-crouched position.
"No, it's fine, I'm fine now. Don't tell people about this, okay? It's not like a secret, but I still want it to be a surprise." I try to calm him, by mashing my hand over his mouth.
"What the hell are you?" he asks, muffled. I make as serious a face as I can.
"A demon." he bites my hand and tries to scramble backward more fervently. "OW, I WAS KIDDING. I'm human. I can just kind of do that. Built different, y'know. M/N. You're Monoma, correct? Of course I am. A pleasure to meet your acquaintance." I smile.
"I don't want your acquaintance," he says and I just laugh because there's not much else to do as your body knits back together.
"Oh it's too late now you poor sod." he stares at me and slowly leaves. That's probably a good thing. "Bye friend!!"
I'll forcefully interact with him in a timely manner later after I act not suspicious with my classmates. I left my lunch up on the roof, but I'll never find it now.
The class goes back into session, and with Midoriya renounces his presidency. Surprise, surprise. My stomach growls loudly, and everyone turns in time to see me fall out of my chair, bringing it with me. Passed dead out.
"He needs some milk!" Kirishima yells. That's my dude.
"Now isn't the time for vintage Vines!" Kaminari responds.
"No, he's told me this before! He needs some strawberry milk for 'calcium'." that is true, I told him that. Not that it was true at the time, but milk does sound nice.
Milk absolutely drenches me.
"DAVE NO!" I scream, shooting up into a sitting position. I regret asking for milk. Haha, wait, Umbrella Academy doesn't exist here...I start tearing up. "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave..." Klaus deserved so much better and now I have no way to know what'll happen..." I sigh.
"Okay, I'm fine now but school is close enough to be over that I'm just gonna leave." and so I did. Maybe this is too abrupt, so I'm going to go hunt Purple Man down.
OWP POV
M/N wanders around, searching for the violet-haired teen. He glances at Monoma, who quickly walks away. Eventually, he finds the male and slings an arm around his shoulder because he has no respect for the idea of personal space, alarming the slightly shorter male.
"Hey, do you wanna go get some food? I skipped lunch and now I'm dying." M/N sighs. Hitoshi's nose wrinkles suddenly.
"You smell weird, and why would I want to go with you?"
"Because we're friends and that's what I want to do. It's a cat cafe, y'know. You're paying."
"Wait, for both of us?"
"Well, yeah, you're rude and mean and hurtful and I got my money soaked with melk. C'mon." He grabs the male and drags him out the gates of the school, which in most situations could be considered kidnapping.
They reach the cafe that M/N had looked up on his phone earlier and go inside, quickly being swarmed upon sitting down.
"I see no God here other than me." The two sit in relative silence until M/N forcefully starts a conversation.
"Do snakes ever get sad they don't have arms?"
Hitoshi isn't sure quite how to react to this. "Do you get sad you don't have wings?"
"Every day. But I don't let that stop me. I can fly anytime I want."
This confuses him slightly. "What, can you fly using your quirk?"
"Well, no...but it's probably best you think how you want."
After this, the silence returns for a period, only being interrupted with the purring of cats.
"Oh yeah, give me your cellular device. I must send you surrealistic memes at three in the morning." M/N demands, making the grabby hands. There is no counter for this argument. Hitoshi has no choice to comply and it was done. The two part ways and M/N awaits the next day with morbid excitement. After all, it was almost time for the villains to take the stage.
Not like he'd pass up that chance, right?