Gyakusatsu-BNHA

Chapter the Nineteenth

In which important things are decided upon.

M/N POV

After scrabbling with the main gate's stupid security system for what feels like an hour, I manage to dig a hole under the wall with a rusty spork. Emerging on the other side I look around, seeing the sunlight for the first time in 20 years. Freedom is mine. I clench my fist, reveling in my escape when some rude person's throat-clearing interrupts me. I glance up from the dirt pile I'm laying in to see a heavily unimpressed Aizawa. His eyebrow is quirked in a frightening way. I sweat and for the first time, experience true fear. Of course, I mask it with slightly panicked laughter.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhi! How are you this fine morning?" I glance at the sun directly overhead. "Afternoon?" He sighs, grabbing my arm and dragging me inside. I attempt to begin some type of conversation only to be shot down by his monotone voice reprimanding me for something.

We reach the classroom, me still being dragged because using my legs is too much effort at this point, and he tosses me in. I skid directly into Kirishima's back, whose knees fucking collapse at the sudden weight thrown at them. He unconsciously hardens or something on the way down and crashes down directly onto my face, elbow hitting my nose.

I screech, shoving him off of me. I pop to my feet, placing my hands on my hips and wiping the blood from my lip.

"I'm fine, this is great. Hero names and all that, yes? Great. Gimme one of those papers." I gesture at Midnight's surprising form, her giving me one of the boards. As I walk back to my desk, I think of an important point. What are some good names? I mean, I was planning on just 'Deadpool' but I feel like I could do better. Throwing myself onto my chair, I pull out my phone and ignore the fact I'm now laying on the ground. This is fine.

As I look up the thing, I rest my feet on the overturned chair and ignore whoever the fuck it is currently talking. Scrolling through the list of synonyms, I find it. The name. To end all names.

I quickly scrawl it down, writing a brief description above it as that's what seems to be the unspoken rule. I quickly stumble to the front of the classroom, sliding across Katsuki's desk for the fun of it. He smacks me in the back of the head, but now is not the time for retaliation, it is the time for blowing all these commoners out of their seats and through the windows.

I shove gRape out of the way, sending him flying out the still-open door, and stand proudly, undeterred by the suspicious purple o r b s stuck on my hand. I grin as I hold up the board, frantically whipping my hand to attempt to remove the undesirables. It doesn't work, which incites minor panic as I pull a comically large knife out of my back pocket to cut my whole hand off. This is stopped by Aizawa who was over in his desk corner I guess as he uses his quirk which magically causes the o r b s to fall off. I nod in sincere appreciation and glance down at the board, seeing it's upside down. I spin it rightways.

Ignoring the blank expressions of the class due to the writing being in English due to excitement, I close my eyes and proudly announce what I want to be called henceforth.

"The 'why won't this fucker die already' hero

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CADAVEROUS MUD PUDDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!1!!!!"

There's silence as a small bead of sweat begins to form on my temple. I open my eyes once again and am met with utter stupidity. These fools, their expressions, blank. Empty. Do they not recognize the sheer genius of Thesaurus.com's synonyms? I exhale air forcefully through my nose. Uncultured. My thought is cut off by a smack on the back of the head.