"can I have the cobb salad?" I ask the lunch lady behind the glass. she nods, quickly grabbing the pre-packaged salad and handing it to me without even a glance as she takes the next person's order. I just place the salad on my tray next to my chocolate chip muffin and move on.
ever since this morning, my mind hasn't been fully invested in what's happening around me. I just keep feeling this heat flare up in my chest when I envision ethan kissing that girl and it makes me more and more determined to make him feel the same way. there's no way I'm letting him get to me.
and I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize that the key to making him realize he wants me is through jealousy. he'll see me with someone else and that'll make him feel at least something towards me. right now, I'm still just a sexual motivation and goal of his and not anywhere near his heart.
I walk up to the cafetorium where all the tables are, with my tray in hand and make my way to where I sit. I see ethan sitting in his usual spot, arms folded across the table as he talks to jack. when he sees me, though, a small smile forms on his lips as he pulls the empty chair next to him out, preparing it for me.
only, I'm not going to sit next to him.
I'm taking the opportunity to milk the heck out of this. he needs to think he's done something wrong or hurt me in some way so that he feels bad and tries to make it up to me. maybe then he'll stop seeing other girls already.
also, I'm not going to blatantly forgive him and make it that easy. I actually have self-respect. that's the sort of thing that drives guys crazy.
well, that's what all the movies these days make it seem like. confidence is hot.
ethan's eyes never leave me as he waits for me expectantly. but when I reach his table, I give him a sarcastic grin and walk straight past all of them. instead, I go to my table with reese and julian.
they're in the middle of a conversation when I get there and they stop talking to look at me in a confused manner. I set my tray down and sit in my usual chair, acting as nonchalant as possible. when I get the chance, I glance at ethan and find him looking at me with furrowed eyebrows, as if to say what are you doing over there?
"evie, what are you doing here?" reese asks me, drawing my focus to her instead. she looks lost but pleasantly surprised at me joining them for lunch.
I open the plastic lid of my salad and speak in a low voice. "don't worry, I know what I'm doing. I'll explain in a second." ethan is still watching me, so I don't want to say it now just to be safe.
she nods, glancing behind her for a quick moment. "is this about what happened in the hallway this morning?"
man, shit spreads fast around here. it's only halfway through the day.
I keep my eyes in front of me, on her and julian. "yes." I can't elaborate much further yet. she just returns to eating and everything seems completely normal. good.
I grab my fork and stick it into my salad, making sure to get a piece of avocado. my mouth is watering before my fork even reaches it. I didn't have breakfast this morning because I had to rush out earlier than usual, so I've been starving. my mom and andrew were getting it on in their bedroom next to mine thinking I can't hear them.
the walls are unfortunately thin.
anyway, I was gonna vomit if I stayed another second, so breakfast sadly had to be skipped.
"I think we can talk now," julian informs me after having checked behind him. "and it's not like he can hear us anyway. he's like three tables away." julian slouches back in his chair and takes a sip from his blue gatorade.
I finish chewing and look up at him. "I know, but if he's watching I just feel like he'll be able to tell I'm talking about him. the last thing that can happen is him finding out that this is all a plan. he'll ruin me." I swallow the air in my throat, nervous at just the thought. "he can't find out until I end this at graduation."
then school will be over and I won't ever have to see him again.
"we know the plan, evie. don't worry," reese reassures me. "he's not going to catch on. in case you haven't noticed, he's not the brightest."
I simply nod. while he isn't book smart, I don't think he's an idiot. I still have to be careful.
I'm in the middle of taking another bite of my salad when someone random guy walks up to our table. he looks young, like he's a junior here, so I have no idea who he is. but he's somewhat attractive; the first thing I notice is his blue eyes.
"hey evie," he starts, saying my name when I don't even know his. I quickly wipe the corner of my mouth and swallow before looking up at him. "heard about you and dolan, and what he did is real fucked up and pathetic. I just wanted to ask if you wanted some real dick tonight." he stands confidently, clearing trying to show off the slight bulge in his grey sweatpants.
"fu-" julian's about to say something to him, but I kick his leg under the table quickly. I'll handle this.
I rest my chin on my hand, looking at the boy sweetly. "am I supposed to be impressed?" I ask, glancing down to his almost non-existent bulge and back up.
he grins cheekily, probably liking that I'm playing hard to get. "you will be. and just for the record, I'd treat you better than he ever could." his deep voice is alluring, I'll give him that. but overall, he doesn't have a chance. he's much too arrogant, a quality I've never been attracted to.
also, when did I suddenly get this reputation that I'm fine with sleeping around?
before I can respond to him, he pulls out the chair next to me and sits down awfully close. "before you say no, let me just say I'd make it a night you'd never forget." he's trying to make his voice husky and sexy but it sounds ridiculous.
"you think you have what it takes to please me?" I look at him incredulously. but his assurance in himself doesn't waver.
he keeps grinning, "it's not like you have much to compare me to. guaranteed, you won't even be able to stand in the morning after I'm done with you."
"honey, I don't think you'd last over a minute," I quickly shoot back out of anger, and out of the corner of my eye, I see reese and julian trying not to laugh. "and believe me, it's you who wouldn't be able to handle me."
his face starts getting red because I guess all the guys at the table over are his friends, and they're laughing their asses off at me rejecting him. when I realize he has nothing left to say, I finish this conversation. "so thanks for the offer, but no."
he swallows, not even meeting my eyes again as he gets up and walks away. all the confidence he approached me with is gone now.
it's boys like him that need to be taken down a notch.
"damn, I forgot you don't need protecting," julian tells me with an amused look on his face. "the poor guy isn't gonna be able to live that down."
"good," reese adds in a proud voice. "he's a sleaze. hopefully that discourages him from doing that to other girls."
"oh, that isn't going to stop him," I tell her surely. "but hopefully that just stops him from bothering me. he can be someone else's problem."
my phone vibrates then, so I slip it out of my back pocket and check it under the table. julian and reese return to eating, so I take it as a moment to quickly look at the notification.
text message from e
for a moment, I stare at the notification puzzled. but then I remember that I changed his contact name after the last time we texted. there was no way I was going to risk walking around with "daddy" as his contact name. if my mom or andrew were to see it, they'd start asking questions immediately. andrew would use it as an excuse to turn my mom against me and get me in trouble.
plus, this way they can't tell that it's a boy I'm texting. ethan and I will never be anything serious, it's just a little revenge that'll be over by the end of the school year. he isn't worth getting grounded over.
I swipe the notification right to open the message.
e: who was that
I glance up from my phone over to where he's sitting, realizing that he saw me talking to that junior guy. ethan's head is tilted down, obviously looking down at his own phone while he texts me.
me: no one
e: seemed like u knew him
me: does it matter?
there's a pause before he replies anything. I can tell he's really thinking about what he's saying, probably not trying to sound like he cares too much.
e: guess not
my thumbs hover over the keyboard, waiting to see if he'll say anything else. when he doesn't, I don't know what to respond so I decide to just turn off my phone again. before I can, though, there's another text.
e: why are u sitting over there
I knew he would ask this. he knows something's up and wants me back at his table so he can take back control of the situation. I simply turn off my phone and set it on the table next to my salad. it wouldn't help for me to answer him because anything I say would sound so made up.
"who are you texting?" reese's voice pulls my focus away from ethan. I sit up and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, meeting her eyes.
"no one." neither her nor julian know ethan and I text now and for some reason, I want to keep it that way. "anyway, about what happened this morning. first of all, I should've seen it coming."
"yes you should have," julian comments snarkily. "I knew it'd happen from the moment this all started. he's not going to give up other girls for you, eve. especially not when you're being stubborn and not giving him what he wants."
"so I should give him what he wants so he'll stick to only me?" I ask just to humor him. I already know that's out of the question. and immediately, julian shakes his head no, too.
"of course not. my point is, he can't stick to one girl, period." reese nods in agreement even though they're telling me what I already knew. "no matter what you do."
I pick up the muffin from my tray and start peeling away some of the paper liner. "if he can see other girls, I'll show him I can see other guys."
reese's eyes go wide instantly. "hell yeah, I already like this plan." she leans over the table, ears practically perked up in interest. "who you wanna fuck?"
"reese!" I shush her, caught off guard by how loud her comment was. she doesn't seem to understand ethan and all his friends are only three tables away. so are tons of other people that might tell him stuff.
I take a deep breath, then take a bite of my muffin. I already have an idea of who I want to use to make ethan jealous. but it's kind of risky.
"so let me get this straight," julian starts, placing his palms on the table while he thinks this through. "you want to try and seduce yet another guy just to make ethan jealous?"
I nod. "it'll work, jul." just based off of how he was questioning me from talking to that one guy, I know he'll get jealous. and easily. but it needs to be effective enough to really make him upset and forget needing sex with other girls.
"fine." julian relaxes in his seat while he agrees with my idea. "but let me do it."
"let you do what?" I ask quickly, confused as to what he means. I already think I know what he's going to say, though.
"let me be the one who he gets jealous of." before I can disagree, he explains. "come on, it'd make sense if we were to get together and you can trust me to take care of you and make this believable. we're comfortable with each other."
"this isn't about me being taken care of, julian. I need him to get pissed off. and I'm not putting you in danger because of me." I cross my arms and pin my eyes onto his, being dead serious. "he threatened to beat up kellan, one of his own best friends, just because he was interested in me."
"you really think I can't take his ass? I can defend myself, evie. and it won't get that far, once he's jealous you keep this scheme of yours going and I'll back off."
"she's right," reese defends me. "it wouldn't be a good idea for you to do it. you could get hurt, and it could get messy fast." she grabs a french fry and dips it into her ketchup, then pops it in her mouth. "better that she does it with a stranger."
julian's nostrils flare, and he seems bothered. "alright then who? who's gonna be the guy you act like a little slut for?" his words make me freeze and my throat goes dry. the harshness in his voice, the yet again disappointed look in his eyes, makes my heart hurt.
but it quickly turns to frustration. "that's what you think I am? a slut?"
"not yet but you're sure as hell becoming one." he narrows his eyes at me, his stare daunting.
does he not understand it's all fake and for a plan? it's not really who I am. "julian, I'm just doing what I need to do to get his ass in love with me so I can break his heart," I whisper shout. "I'm doing this for not just me, but you, too. for your sister."
"forget my sister. I didn't ask for you to do this. so just stop." he licks his lips, breaking eye contact now.
reese places a hand on his shoulder, probably trying to calm him down. "you know she can't do that anymore. he isn't just going to leave her alone. and what she's doing is to get back at him for all the girls he's screwed over. he deserves it."
he ignores what reese says and looks straight at me. "haven't you realized that by you doing all this, you're just as bad as him?" his voice is cold and emotionless.
like he's lost any and all respect for me.
I can feel tears threatening to leave my eyes, but I quickly blink them away. I never cry and I refuse to start now over a butthurt jerk. I stand up from the table, anger coursing through my body.
"I am so tired of you trying to dictate and judge everything I do. you don't get to do that, julian. you're not my parent. I'm going to sleep with whoever the hell I want and you don't get to be upset about it." I grab my phone and then reach down to grab my backpack, swinging it over my shoulder. "and guess what?"
he looks at me with an expression I can't quite read, a mix of annoyance and animosity alike.
"I'm fucking grayson."
______
ASKKLJDLKDKL TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY OF SCHOOL OMFG
I'm literally so happy right now. I get the next three months off before college AHHH.
hope you guys liked the chapter, and I'll be updating practically every single fucking day like I did last summer bc I have nothing else to do and I finally have time to write! fck yea
okay see u guys soon, next chapter sometime this weekend hehe
- lexi <3