Arthit's POV
My leg seemed to have a mind of its own. I even clutched at my knee with both my hands, but the blasted thing kept bouncing up and down relentlessly. A nervous tick of mine that has always annoyed me. I don't even know why I was so nervous when my exams were done days ago. In fact for the past 3 days I have done little other than gorge on chocolate cake and binge watched one show after another, basically whiling away my time waiting for...Oh yeah, now I remember what I was so nervous about. Today was Kong's last exam. The very last day he would remain a student at our university. The last time he would officially be my junior.
I had been preparing myself for this day for ages and still I wasn't ready to face it. It just felt so...so final. Like once he would leave, he would take whatever fleeting relationship we had with him. Like this would be the last time I would ever get to see him. Our story ending before it even began. That idiot has given me more than one reason to wallow in doom and gloom since the minute I have laid eyes on him. But somehow nothing had weighed so heavily on my heart than the realization that this was finally the end. In fact the day he had nonchalantly dropped an invitation to a party for the last day of his exams cause he wanted to make a 'surprise' announcement to his friends I had pretty much spent the day with my face buried in the pillow, screaming my frustration.
Obviously I had absolutely no intention of going to his stupid, freaking party. As if I would be able to bear watching him grin away while he announced his transfer to another college. And yet I had done little all day other than stare at my watch every fifteen minutes, tracing each and every one of Kong's potential activities, like I had nothing better to do.
Duh! Of course I had nothing better to do. I was in the middle of obsessing over Kong leaving remember? My heartbeat almost matching the rhythm of my blaring alarm indicating the end of his exams.
I could almost picture him with his super satisfied smile placing his pen back in his bag and walking out the exam hall. His boisterous friends jumping all over each other while for some reason Kong always seemed so composed and calm. Even throughout our brutal pranks he rarely ever lost his cool. In fact I know more of his emotions through his letters to me as Simba. If we hadn't poured our hearts to each other as secret confidants for all these months I would have never even realized the struggles he was dealing with.
Obviously it couldn't have been easy for him to be so young and confused. Along with the enormous pressure his family put on him to succeed in everything he did. Not to mention the constant scrutiny and sucking up from all the students and professors alike. Any normal kid would have turned atleast a little crazy with so many things going on.
And then there was me.
If only I hadn't been a totally idiot that night at the beach. If only I hadn't been an utter coward and ran at the first sign of any emotions. If only I hadn't left Kong alone. If only I hadn't allowed his fucking boyfriend to manipulate him. If only I had stuck around to actually talk to him instead of storming out. If only I had...then what? What would have changed anyway? Sure he wouldn't hate me. Sure we might have even been friends. But so what? Not like he was crazy enough to fall for a bozo like me even in the best of circumstances. Maybe it was actually better this way. Once he left atleast I would get a chance to make a clean break. Start the dreaded moving on process.
At some point in the day during the same cycle of endless thoughts it seemed like I had fallen asleep. My dreams giving me very little respite. And yet I kept on sleeping. Almost dreading having to wake up. Grumbling under my breath when something kept trying to snatch me away from my safe heaven.
I twisted my face on my pillow when the fog finally started clearing, picking up my phone to see it was close 10 in the night. I had literally slept the day away. And that is when I realized what had disturbed my sleep. A persistent knock on my front door.
Who could it be this late at night?
I padded towards the door, rubbing a tired hand over my face. My stomach beginning to grumble with hunger as I threw open the door. Thoroughly ready to run off whoever was attempting to ruin my day of self-pity.
"Kong?"
"P' how come you didn't come to my party? I was waiting for you."
"What...what are you doing here?"
"I brought you dinner."
He flashed me a tormenting, broad smile as he pushed passed me and stepped deeper into the room. I was still rooted to my spot, my mouth hanging open with utter shock while he puttered around my kitchen, grabbing utensils and silverware with complete familiarity. As if this was something he did on a regular basis.
Newsflash! He didn't. How I wish though.
"I...I am not hungry. I ate already. Kong, listen, I think it's best that you lea..."
The loud thundering sound from my stomach only making him smirk that much harder as he completely ignored me and placed the dishes on my small dining table. Settling down rather comfortably before finally deigning to return his attention towards me.
"It's ok if you don't want to eat. You can just give me company while I do. I didn't even get to have dinner cause I was too busy waiting for you. Why didn't you come by the way?"
"I...lost track of time."
I took the chair across from him. My mood reaching peak levels of grumpiness as I stared at Kong's annoyingly cheerful face while he kept shoving food in his mouth. After having stressed and obsessed all day long about avoiding Kong at all costs, here he was. Sitting right across from me, narrating with complete detail the events of the damn party. Why oh, why does the boy like to torture me?
He was almost done demolishing his plate while I was still pushing around the food on mine. Suddenly my hunger having been long forgotten.
"You really should have come P'. There was something I wanted to tell you."
No, no. no. no. I don't want to hear it. Just please don't say it.
"..."
"Aren't you going to ask me what is it?"
"..."
"You really aren't going to ask?"
"..."
"Fine, then. I will tell you anyway. I'm leaving P'. I am switching my major. Today was my last day. I am going to begin studying Economics from now."
I felt my heart sinking while I stared at his face shining with enthusiasm. Our eyes locked briefly while he looked back at me with unconcealed expectations. What exactly did he want from me? He did actually expect me to be happy he was leaving?
I know I was supposed to feign some sort of surprise. The least of all some reaction that looked like I was hearing his announcement for the first time instead of dreading this moment for months. But in that instant I was completely incapable of any sort of pretense. My emotions so raw that I all I wanted was to be left alone to wallow in my own grief.
So instead of saying anything I simply looked down and pushed a spoonful of food in my mouth. Anything to not have to respond in that moment. The morsel feeling like a lump of coal as I tried hard to focus on swallowing.
"Seriously? Nothing?"
I kept my eyes deliberately diverted, unable to meet his. Unable to come up with any sort of a response. This was exactly why I had avoided him all day.
"You are that excited with the thought of me leaving that you are speechless huh?"
Now he was just being plain old cruel. What would I not give to get rid of that frustrating smirk off his face. I had yet to even raise my head when I heard him rustle around in his bag pack and place a gift wrapped box between us. Finally forcing me snap out of my cloud of gloom and break my silence.
"What is this?"
"Ummm...a farewell gift of sorts."
"Gift? What are you gifting me for? Should I be getting you something?"
"Good point. Make sure it's a nice expensive one. It's the least you can do after you tortured me all year. In the mean-time, here. Open this."
He pushed the box further towards me, his smile going only broader and I automatically frowned. The kid was behaving weirder than usual. Wasn't the whole reason he was changing schools was because of me? What was he doing buying me farewell gifts?
I picked up the box and ripped the wrapping quickly, briefly looking up to watching Kong staring at me with wide eyes, looking eerily similar to an excited puppy.
I am not entirely sure why but I found my fingers shivering slightly as I pried open the lid to the slim box and I swear I am not exaggerating when I say my jaw literally dropped to the floor.
Cause staring back at me was the all too familiar leather bound journal.