©JRF2015-2022
It's been three days since the Merle incident and Rick has been avoiding me all day, every day. I have been helping Beth out with Judy these last three days, hoping that will make Rick have to talk to me. But he still manages to avoid saying anything at all to me. In fact, every time I get close to him he runs off. He is out in the fields this morning as usual and I walk in that direction. I cannot take this anymore, I need to talk to him. He looks up to see me walking toward him, glares at me, and turns his back. The look on his face tells me he is still not in the mood to deal with me. I see his head drop. I have come to a complete stop in my trek and seem to be frozen, waiting on something... anything. Finally, he turns back around and almost looks apologetic but goes right back to his crops. Instead of taking that as a hint to go on over I turn to my right and go sit with Daryl and Merle. I plop down on the bench in between the two of them. Daryl smiles at his big brother and they both look at me. "What?" I ask them.
"You and ol' Officer Friendly ain't kissed and made up yet?" Merle asked me.
"Are you kidding? He won't even look at me let alone kiss and makeup."
Merle drapes his arm around my shoulder, "He still bein' a jerk about our little misunderstandin'. You want me to straighten his ass out for ya? I haven't handed out any good ass whoopin's in a while," I laugh and shake my head. The brothers exchange a look and start snickering. I stand up, facing them as I stare down at them. "What do you two find so funny?"
"You and Rick," Daryl releases another snicker. I roll my eyes and look away.
"Everybody can see it," Merle teases, "don't know why the two of you can't or try to deny it." I shake my head sitting back down.
"Not trying to deny anything, I see perfectly fine. But the two of you are getting a little annoying." A round of laughter sounds from the three of us.
Daryl speaks up, "Rick just needs some time to stew."
"It's been three days," I sigh, "How much longer does he need?"
Daryl shrugs, "He knows you love him and he loves you too, he'll come around eventually." Daryl now leans back to look at his brother around me, "I am confused at how Merle is only just now beginning to annoy you though. He's never taken this long to annoy anyone. Seems like you're losing your touch big brother." Merle laughs before reaching around me to punch Daryl in the arm.
"You're just jealous you don't have my sparklin' personality."
I throw my arms around the Dixon brothers. "Gentlemen, it's been fun but I gotta get up and do some work around here. You two should think about doing the same."
"Damn, slave driver," Merle scoffs jokingly. I catch a glimpse of Rick, now at the fence, and he is staring at the three of us intently. He spins around, back to us, and begins stabbing the dead in a frenzy. "Maybe I should go and try a little harder to talk to him. Maybe he's just waiting for me to initiate the conversation and get us back on track."
Daryl nods, "Yeah, you're right three days is a long enough for him to stew in his ridiculousness. Let 'im know what he's missin' by being a jackass." I take a deep breath and stand up, "Here goes." I whisper as I start walking down to the fence.
Rick seems to be in a trance-like state as he continues his raging murder spree on those mindless freaks. One after another falls to the ground and Rick moves on to the next in line without a pause in between. "Rick," I gently call out as I get closer. He doesn't stop or turn around to acknowledge me. "Rick!" I shout this time, thinking that my voice was too soft for him to hear me. He does stop this time but just stares at the ground catching his breath. "Talk to me Rick," I plead, "Please. Or at least listen to me. Let me explain." He still doesn't move. After what seems like an eternity of silence I throw my hands up, "okay, then, nothing is going on with me and Merle. That night you think you saw something," Rick throws his hand up to stop me before picking up the spear and killing the dead again. He doesn't want to hear it, he doesn't care at all. Exasperated, I grit my teeth, "So you're going continue to pout? You're just gonna keep ignoring me?" Nothing, not a word comes from Rick Grimes. "That's just great then, keep acting like a big baby. It's not like I need you anyway!" I can feel tears welling up in my eyes but there is no way I am going to let them fall, not around him. He doesn't get to see me fall apart. If he can act like he doesn't care so can I. Turning my back on Rick Grimes for the last time -- or at least that's what I keep telling myself -- I walk back up to the prison. I get only a few steps away when someone grabs my arm. My heart nearly jumps out of my chest, and I can't help but smile. "Rick..." I say with excitement in my voice as I turn to see Maggie, "Oh hey Maggie. What's up?" All the excitement leaves my voice as she stares at me with sadness in her eyes. "Huh, don't act so excited to see me," Maggie tries to lighten the mood but it is not working. "You okay?" I shake my head and continue my walk back to the cell block.
{Rick's POV}edfcvcv
She is mad and I don't blame her. I know I'm being an asshole but I don't know what to say. I know I have nothing to be this jealous about and I am being an idiot. Merle convinced me of that but I still hate seeing her around him. Maybe because I can't let myself open up and be that guy for her and Merle seems to do it so easily. On top of that, she'd be taking on a lot more than just me. It's not fair for her to raise two kids she has no ties to in this new world, it's not her job. No, I can't do that to her and I can't keep shutting her out like this. I can't keep hurting her. It's better this way.
I turn around and see her as she is leaving Maggie. She didn't look back this time, she always looks back. I've screwed this up, she's really done. Suddenly I hit the ground. A walker has a hold of my ankle and is snapping at the fence trying to get to me. I kick its head through the fence trying to get it to let go when an ax comes down on its wrist separating its hand from the rest of its body. Maggie holds out a hand to help me up. "Thanks, Maggie," I said, "I'm glad you were close by." She just glares at me. "What?" I asked her. She drops the ax down by her feet, "Go talk to her before it's too late."
I find her with Judith in my cell. She is going through Judy's things, looking almost a little flustered. The third time I say her name is the time she finally hears me. "Hmm, oh, hey Chief, " I am leaning against the door frame watching her and trying to think of what to say. "Everything alright?" That's the only thing I can think of at the moment. Rachel shakes her head.
"Judy is getting low on formula," she says as she walks over handing my daughter to me, and runs off.
{End Rick's POV}
I run to my cell and grab my bag before heading out to find Maggie. I hadn't even noticed I was passing Rick's cell again until a hand grabbed my arm.
"Where are you going?" Rick asks.
"I'm going on a formula run, figured I would take Maggie. She knows where the formula spots are." Rick rubs the back of his neck, "Do you have to be the one to go out on this run?" I nod.
"Yeah, I kinda do," I tell him. He lets go of my arm.
"Okay, just be careful. I want to talk when you get back." I make no facial expression and nod to him.
"Always am Chief," I tell him flatly before disappearing.
I can't keep the grin from creeping onto my face as I walk outside looking for Maggie. She and Glenn are up in the guard tower... again. That was quick, I just left her. I call out to her and after a minute she pops her head over the railing. "Formula run! You coming?" I hear the Dixon brothers behind me laughing. I turn trying to be serious but fail as I realize what I just said. "Grow up you two!' I say behind a veil of laughter. Maggie and Glenn both make it down from their little hideaway, ready for this run.
Maggie is driving and she and Glenn are exchanging looks and giggles. "What!?" I finally ask glaring at the two of them. They snicker looking somewhere behind me. I turn my head to see Rick watching from the bridge. I blush as he continues to stare at me, I guess.
"Why can't you and Rick just hook up already?" Maggie laughs causing me to turn back to them. I shake my head climbing into the back seat behind Glenn. He is laughing, singing, "Rick and Rachel sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G." I flush even redder if that is possible and swat the back of his seat.
"Shut up, Glenn," I try to sound angry but it comes out as more of a chuckle. Just then the other door pops open and Merle jumps in. "I wanna help." Maggie and Glenn don't look too pleased with this but they allow him to come along anyway.
After a while, Maggie finally speaks again, "seriously, we are all a little curious as to what's going on with you and Rick?" I shrug her question off and stare out the window. I felt all excited at the idea of Rick wanting to talk but my fear's come back. How long will those butterflies I felt and the talking last before he flips on me again? I can feel all eyes on me. I don't have an answer for them because I don't know myself. Merle has a solemn look on his face, he knows more than anybody the craziness between me and Rick.
"Well?" I look at Glenn and try to collect my thoughts for a minute before finally deciding on what to tell them.
"Nothing is going on." Maggie and Glenn both turn around to stare back out the windshield, noticing the sound of my voice.
"Well, there should be. You and Rick make a damn cute couple." Maggie said and Glenn adds, "Rick needs a nice girl, he deserves to be happy after all he's been through." My thoughts are now consumed with Rick and what little I know about what he's been through. We ride in silence the rest of the way.
~~~~~~~~
The run is going off flawlessly as we grab all the formula that is left. Looks like we are going to have to find a new spot from here on out. It is starting to get late and Glenn is itching to get back. "Come on," he said, "It's getting dark. We need to get back."
Merle laughs, "Take it easy chinaman, you're actin' like a scared little girl."
Glenn glares at him, "I'm Korean."
"He's Korean," I say at the same time as Glenn which causes the two of us to chuckle.
Merle looks between him and me with his typical Dixon smirk, "Whatever. What are y'all twins now?" I roll my eyes at him and then look back over my shoulder. I missed it on the way out but, I can't leave it now that I have seen it.
"Go on, I'll be there in a sec. There's one more thing I have to get."
Merle looks at me with a confused look but agrees, "Okay but hurry up." I turn the corner just inside the door and grab the item out of the window. I stuff it into my bag and start to the car. Just as I put my hand on the car door Merle asks, "you get what you wanted?" I nod and smile until I notice the smile drop from Merle's face. He looks scared, which for Merle is a big deal. I turn to see what has him all freaked out just as the walker behind me lunges. I hold him back trying to keep him from taking a bite out of me and reaching for my knife at the same time. He has a hold of me and he's snarling with a combination of spit, blood, and putrefied gunk falling out of his face. I am now pressed against the car and everything dripping out of his disgusting face is now dripping onto me. I finally get my knife free and plunge it into his softened skull. I wipe my blade on my jeans as he falls to the ground and I turn, reaching for the car door handle again. Before I can get a grip another rotten hand lands on my arm. I try to pull away from her but her grip is strong. As soon as I feel her strong hand grip my arm I feel it loosen again. I turn to see her falling to the ground with Merle standing beside her crumpled body and blood dripping from his knife-hand. "Damn shame, she is pretty hot for a dead broad. Hell, I'd probably still bang her." Merle laughs and I growl, rolling my eyes.
"Gross Merle!" He grabs my arm opening the car door. Maggie has it fired up and in drive, just waiting on us to dive in. Merle shoves me in and jumps in after, slamming the car door shut just as one of the walkers slams his face into the window smearing blood all over it.
Oblivious to that Merle begins looking me over to see if I've been bit or scratched. Maggie peels out and heads back to the prison. "You okay?" I am shaking and tears are filling my eyes.
"Yeah," I tell him, "I'll be fine. Adrenaline, just adrenaline."
I turn away quickly to look out the window and I whisper without turning back, "Thank you, Merle." He didn't say a word. Instead, he pulls me into a hug. "I am glad you were here to have my back." Merle hugs me tighter as we ride in silence back to the prison.