okay so y'all are MAD mad at me I see 😎
Amelia Adams
For the first time in my life, I felt like I lost myself.
Today I woke up, woke up from an accident I don't recall happening. I was just met face to face with a boy that was holding my hand and staring into my eyes like I was something to him but little did he know he was actually nothing to me. He was holding my hand so tight and confessing the mistakes he made. When I thought it was just because he was searching for some sort of moral help from a stranger, he was actually searching forgiveness from me.
But I had no idea who he was, or who most of these people were who have stood in my hospital room today. The only familiar faces I saw was my mother, and my best friend Audrey.
"Amelia, sweetheart.." My mother said while holding my hand, but my eyes were stuck on the window of my hospital room that gave me a view into the hallway.
I was staring at the doctor talking to the three men that all shared the tattoos and chiseled features, in the middle was the boy that claimed to be my fiancé.
He stood there with his arms crossed at the doctor who was explain things I couldn't hear through the closed door. Even from this distance I could see his piercing green eyes were glossed in panic, his jaw clenched and his thick eyebrows furrowed so there was two prominent crevices between them.
"Mom what has happened to me?" I turn my eyes to her while feeling my sinuses swell, I was starting to panic. "Why don't I know any of these people but they all claim to know me? Why is that man saying I'm his fiancé!" I spilled while she was holding my hand.
"Honey, you were in an accident.." She starts but it's not what I wanted to hear.
"People keep saying that but no ones telling me anything else. I have no recollection of those people out there and I don't even know what to think! I thought that man was a crazy stranger that just needed someone to talk to!" I raised my voice a little bit because I was stressed.
"I want the doctor to explain all of this to you before anything else." She says, not answering any of my questions. I was getting so frustrated.
I look at Audrey standing behind her with crossed arms and sympathy in her sad eyes.
"Audrey, please tell me what happened. Do you know those people out there?" I ask in hope of any sort of answer.
She looked at me like she was going to cry, pausing before parting her diamond shaped lips to answer.
"Meils, what's the last thing you remember?" She questions me instead.
I think to myself, trying to recollect my last moment before all of this. I had to think hard, because nothing really was sticking in my mind.
"Uhm.. school." I stretch my brain, looking at my feet at the end of the bed. "I remember sitting with you in history class." I search harder. "...there was a lockdown." I look back up at her who looks at me with more widened eyes.
"Amelia try harder, what happened after the lockdown?" She walks up closer so she was next to my mom who was sitting on the chair.
I shut my eyes and try to think harder like she wants me to, but everything was blank. The last thing I remembered was a lockdown.
"Nothing. Was that when the accident happened?" I asked, looking at my mom and Audrey who shared the same expressions of concern. That must've been the reason of my accident, something during the lockdown because it was the last thing I remember. They turned and looked at each other with worry before back at me.
"Amelia.. that was two years ago. And that was the day you met Harry." Audrey whispers in grief.
My heart felt like it stopped beating, my jaw dropping and immediately my eyes welted with tears.
"W-what?" I stuttered at the tears came full fledge out my eyes. I brought my hand to cup over my mouth, and immediately I watched as my mom started to tear up too from my reaction.
"I m—missed two years of my life?" I muffle into my hand.
"No darling, you didn't miss it. You just can't remember it right now. You were in an accident seventy days ago and have been in a coma ever since." She holds my hand tighter and transitions from the chair to the edge of my bed.
I couldn't take in all of this.
"What accident?" I stuttered while putting my hand down.
"There was a house fire, and Harry got you out just in time but you suffered severe damage to your brain. The doctors fixed you all up but in consequence you feel into a coma." Mom explains to me while rubbing my hands, Audrey wiping her eyes of tears behind her.
"Our house burnt down?" I asked.
"No, your's and Harry's did." She clarifies.
This was all so much.
"I lived with this stranger?" I then asked.
"Amelia, you loved him. And he loved you. He proposed to you a year ago and you were meant to get married." She explains as simply as possible but I had so many questions.
"Well fix her then!" I heard the loud barking voice come from out of the room, making me flinch and see it was coming from Harry who had nothing but pure boiling rage on his face, yelling at the doctor while the two other guys tried to calm him down.
He looked really scary when he was mad, not someone I ever imagined being with.
"I was gonna marry him?" I asked again just in case if there was confusion. My mom pulled her eyes back from the window and to me again.
"He's really upset right now, don't be scared." She says calmly but that didn't make me feel any better. "Darling there's so much I want to tell you but the doctor needs to examine you again first to see what's actually going on. Maybe this is fixable." She says while rubbing my hands.
"Where's dad?" I asked, realizing he wasn't here.
"He's on his way." She answers.
My eyes go back to the window, looking at the man who everyone claimed I was infatuated to. He stood there's with his two friends by his side, still listening to the doctor but with a more chiseled angered look on his face. He had dark curly locks that were continuously pushed back out of his face by his tattooed covered hands that trailed all up both arms. His inked fingers had different rings on each one, all except for his ring finger and thumbs. He was full of tattoos, and I mean full. Both of his exposed arms were covered in them and it made me wonder how many were under his black t-shirt as well. He was tall, definitely over six feet and taller then his friends. But the one thing that struck me the most about him was that he was intimidating, very very intimidating.
He looked like he could rips someone to shreds for stepping on his toes and that's someone I never pictured being with. He looked hard as nails just from his stance, and it kinda scared me.
"Wait." I say in realization, looking widely at my mom.
"What baby?" She grabs my leg.
"Him.. Harry. Earlier, he mentioned something about loosing a child— Briar I think. What was he talking about? Who is that?" I asked in desperate need for an answer more then anything.
They looked at me silently, both seeming like they don't want to answer. I flicked my eyes back and forth between them, waiting for an explanation but I was struggling with nothing but silence.
"That's not—" I couldn't even finish the sentence, I was too scared to, a tear stumbling down my hot cheek.
"Amelia.." My mom exhaled in grief, and that was enough for me to understand what the answer was.
"I have a child!" I shouted in shock, my hand going right to my stomach which I couldn't believe once held a baby. My stomach felt a bit different, but I couldn't describe it. It felt more.. loose I guess.
"Meils just relax okay—"
"No I can't relax! I have a child I don't remember! The last thing I remember is being in school and now your telling me I have a baby and a fiancé! I've never even had a boyfriend, I've never even had sex before but you're telling me I once gave birth!" I started to spiral, shouting in utter fear.
The door opens and in rushes the doctors and the three strangers that all looked concerned from my yelling. I was so overwhelmed.
Harry walked up to the other side of my bed, his eyes full of concern from my panicked state as he grabbed my hand.
"Amelia it's gonna be o—"
"Please don't!" I react by snapping my hand back out of his. "I'm sorry just please just leave me alone for a second." I say in reflex. This wasn't his fault, but I couldn't look at him right now because it just freaked me out. He was a stranger to me but yet everyone's telling me he's my future husband and the father of my child I didn't know I had.
His eyes softened even more, looking slightly hurt and it didn't make me feel great because it's not my purpose to hurt his feelings but I was so freaked out.
"Amelia, I got your charts back and the scans came out perfectly normal. But due to your many days of your coma and the fact we did a procedure on your temporal lobe, you seem to have lost a portion of your long term memory." The doctor says very calmly like this is normal, looking at his chart as I was having a panic attack.
"Some of my long term memory?" I mock. "I'm forgetting a whole child I supposably had!" I shouted in grief.
"Meils just rela—"
"No Audrey I can't relax! I'm scared okay. I'm sorry Harry but I have no clue who you are and as much as I'm sure your a great guy I'm really freaked out right now that we're engaged. I don't even remember where we met! Audrey said something about the day of the lockdown you were there, why? I've never seen you at my school." I let all my crippling anxieties go through the roof, my life not even feeling like my own and it was the scariest thing.
"I will explain this all to you okay? I know it's scary sweetheart but you have all of us here to help you." Harry says in comfort even though I just snapped at him earlier.
"Ms. Adams, amnesia isn't always permanent. Sometimes after being in a coma for so long this can happen to patients. But in my many years of medicine I've seen many cases where something triggers there memory back. Sometimes it can gradually come back, or all at once. So don't loose hope yet, the important thing is that you're healthy and alive after basically being a loss cause for these seventy days. You're lucky you didn't loose the brain function to speak. You have many people around you who will assist you back to normal and hopefully try to take you down memory lane to help stimulate that temporal lobe again." The bald doctor says with his clipboard, trying to give me light in this tunnel.
"That's perfect honey, we will all try to find what could bring your memory back." My mom says from the right side of the bed, Harry on the left side.
"But what if it doesn't mom? How am I suppose to adapt to all of this, to be a mother. I know nothing about children and now I have to raise one and pretend I know who they are? Just yesterday I thought I was the kid. And now I have one." I say I panicked stress, everything was happening so fast.
"Amelia you won't have to look after her, I'll do all of that." Harry says as I turn my head to him. He looked so sad but tried to hide it for my sake.
He had saturated diamond shaped lips, a small white scar on the left bottom side. His eyes were such a hypnotic sea of emerald and he had the most masculine yet angelic bone structure I've even seen on a man. He was very handsome, it was obvious. But when I look at him, there was no love or devotion for him. And it scares me.
"Did you say her name was.. Briar?" I asked in a more quiet tone, the room going silent.
He softly nods, his eyes staying on mine as he was sat in the chair next to my bed. "Briar Elizabeth Styles." He pronounces her full name with his english accent, a name I probably once heard and repeated at a time in my life.
She had a perfect name.
"Honey, I think it's good if we give you and Harry just a moment alone to talk okay? I promise I'll be right outside the door. But I think your questions should be answered by him." My mom says in comfort, patting my sweaty hand as I pulled my eyes from Harry's and attracted them to hers.
"O-okay." I stammered in nervousness. My mom and Audrey were the only people I really trusted in this room, I didn't like the thought of them being elsewhere but I had to be strong right now.
My mom got up and they all stepped quietly out of the room and shut the door, leaving just Harry and I here in this terribly silent room.
I looked back at his green eyes, trying to find familiarity in them but couldn't.
"How old is she?" I then asked.
"She's turning one tomorrow." He answered softly, his voice deep and rasped.
He had a nice voice, this man was just gifted all around.
"Wait, thats means I was pregnant when I was—"
"19? Yes you were." He answer for me.
My jaw dropped a bit. I remember being nineteen yesterday, and I was no where close to even having a boyfriend then. But he's telling me I somehow got pregnant within that year?
"H-how.. But I—"
"We we're pregnant only after a few months of being together. We both obviously didn't plan it but it happened and when we found out you didn—"
"—Didn't want an abortion." I cut him off this time, knowing what he was gonna say because it was about me. Even before I was nineteen I knew I'd never be one to go through having an abortion.
"Yeah.." he forms his lips to a line and nods.
"And you are—"
"25, you're 21." He reads my thought again. We were quite good at finishing each other's sentences.
"And.. when did you propose?" I ask.
"The day we brought Briar home from the hospital." He was quick to answer, his hands folding together on his lap.
"Was it just because you felt if we had a baby that we might as well get married?" I ask, thinking that was probably the case.
He exhaled a small chuckle and shook his head.
"Do you think that low of me?" He says almost humorously, not meant to be taken seriously. I was still too distraught to laugh back.
"Sorry its just.. you don't look like the— marriage type." I said, trying not to be judgy but I had a lack of filter at the moment.
"I'm not." He sits up more straight and leans forward to rest his inked forearms on his knees. "But you were the love of my life, I wanted to love you forever and call you my wife for the rest of my time." He spoke softly, words of pure sincerity.
Maybe I can understand why I once loved this man, his loving words seems liked they weren't said often, but when he did say them it made them more sincere then ever.
"O-oh." I mumble, at a loss of words.
His eyes pull back from mine and narrow them to the floor slowly in quietness.
"I know this is really a lot to take in, but the last thing I want is for you to be frightened of me." He switches gears of topics, making me question.
"Why would I be frightened of you?" I asked.
"Because of what I'm about to tell you—tell you about me and who I am. It's probably not a good idea to tell you now but if it helps you remember me then it's what I need to do." He says almost ominously, just confusing me.
"Well what is it? You're not like a...rapist right?" I said for I don't know why.
"Oh no, no." He shakes his head immediately. "But you have to keep an open mind and understand that what I'm about to say is not as bad as you think. I mean it's bad, but it's something I've overcome and moved past. I am a completely different person today to what I used to be." He preps for his confession while only made me more worried.
"What is it?" I repeat.
He paused before answering, taking a breath while keeping his eyes on mine.
"I am the leader of Malignant." He admits.
Firstly I thought he was joking and this was his opener to tell me that he has a sense of humour. But when he didn't laugh or change expressions from his worrisome one, I realized this was anything but a joke.
My stomach dropped.
"But before you say anything or freak out. Know that I do not hurt anyone anymore because of you. I only would hurt anyone that would try and hurt you or Briar. I wouldn't hurt you or her and although I lead this gang, I do not order anyone to kill anymore. Malignant doesn't rule the streets anymore, we just lay low." He says this all very quickly, trying to get every last word in with one breath.
Did he just really try to justify killing with the word anymore?
There's no way, no way that my past self would love a killer of innocent people.
He looked at me in hope of an answer, his eyes just screaming plead that I won't freak out. I had no idea what I looked like in this moment, but I wasn't happy. Malignant is the disease of the earth that caused so much pain to people, he is a murderer. And there no way I would've voluntarily fall in love with a murderer. He wasn't telling me something, he wasn't telling me how we exactly met.
"Audrey said we met the day of the lockdown. Were you the lockdown?" My voice was mildly shaky and I didn't realize I was gripping the mattress hard until I felt my fingers strain.
He looked a little surprised if my answer that turned to a question. I think he was expecting me to freak out to discover who he is. I was freaking out, but on the inside because I had so many other questions on how I came to know and love this man.
He huffed under his breath, twisting the rings on his fingers like he'd eventually unscrew them if he tried hard enough.
"Audrey is right, I met you that day. And that's because I..." His voice trails off, and he dips his head down. His rings twist faster.
"You what?" I say in anticipation.
He looks back up at me with a pale face.
"I kidnapped you." He admits.
My hands instantly clenched the bed harder, my chest tightening.
"But but it was for your protection." He then says quickly with wide eyes, sensing my rising discomfort. "I took you to protect you from a new war that was approaching. Malignant lived underground in a whole different world and I was the leader of it. And I'm going to explain a lot to you right now so please just try and keep an open mind okay? You know this all already." He warns, getting ready to spill about a lot while I was shocked of no words.
"Malignant was planning a new war. And your brother was apart of it. Now I know you won't believe me but the day he disappeared going to the grocery store was the day he joined in order to assure his family safety. I suffer with dissociative identity disorder and it's where when I get really mad, I blackout and hurt anyone with no control. I'm on medication now for it but back then I wasn't. Your brother didn't want to start a new war because he wanted to keep you safe, but I was too selfishly in my own head to listen to him. We argued and argued until he pushed me to my limit with words he knew would destroy me, so I snapped. I blacked out when we fought and when I woke up I hurt him really bad to where he passed away. And I know this is going to probably drive you further away from me but I kept this a secret from you the first time and that ended horribly so I need to confess now. I hated myself from what I did to your brother because he was my best friend. So even though I was still planning the war, I decided to take you in order to keep your safe underground where there was no war and you had my protection. You hated me for a long time at first and I didn't like you either but I eventually fell madly in love with you and you somehow loved me too. As twisted as I sounds it's true. That's why our relationship progressed so quickly, because we were so crazily in love and been through so much that a few months later you became pregnant. You changed me completely Amelia, and I know you don't know that but all I want is for you to trust me. I've done horrible unforgiving things in my past but if it wasn't for you I never would learn how to overcome them. I'm a changed man, and it was all because of you." He finishes, getting all of this off his chest.
I was at a loss of words, not believing everything he just said. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and that maybe he was lying. I felt like I should be crying, but for some reason this news didn't seem shocking to me.
"Oh." My tongue twisted.
His features turned from nervous to confused, arching his brow.
"Oh?" He repressed. "Did you hear any of that? I said I killed your brother." He repeats but I heard him loud and clear.
Why wasn't I crying? I should be crying right now. He just told me he murdered my brother, Adrian. My brother who I loved so very much was murderer by this man sitting in front of me. I should be screaming for the doctor to call the police or do what ever I could to hurt him back, but I didn't feel like doing those things.
"I heard you." I state, just making him more confused.
"Then why aren't you yelling at me to get out?" He asks, eyes scanning my face for emotion I wasn't giving. "Do you feel like.. you've heard this before?" He then asks.
"Well, no. But I feel like I've gone through this feeling already...like I new he was murdered. I should be sad but I'm just not phased for some reason." I mumble, thinking of what he just said.
The last thing I remember of my brother is him leaving and never coming back. But this news Harry gave me between his alliance to Malignant and his death— almost didn't feel like news. I couldn't cry over his death because it's something I felt like I cried about so much in another life.
"Okay— well...okay that's good Amelia. That means you may remember somethings and we can make this all come back." He scoots his chair closer, hope starting to radiate in his expression.
"I don't really remember though." I shake my head.
"But you remember the emotion that you should've felt the second I told you all of that. That's because we went through it all already." He explains like it was a perfectly logical explanation.
I twiddle my thumbs, looking down at my lap. I felt so hopeless, I don't remember my life. I've managed to forget everything that's happened in two years and it happen to be the most eventful two years of my life by the sounds of it.
"How did the accident happen? The one that put me in a coma." I whisper. I know I should be more stuck on everything else he just told me about what he's done in the past, but I felt so numb. It's like a part of me died in this coma.
"Amelia I think everything I've already told you is enough for right now. I don't want to overwhelm y—"
"Please." I tilt my head back up to look into his eyes again as I halted his words. "I need to know." I justify, not wanting secrets.
"Enemies of mine broke in when we were sleeping and lit the house on fire. We got out on time but you forgot something valuable inside and you ran back when I wasn't watching. You ended up getting trapped between the wall and the fire on the second floor. I ran back to grab you but the floor gave in and you collapsed through it to the ground level. I jumped through to find you and carried you out of the house but when I got to the grass I realized you weren't breathing. That's when I brought you to the hospital to where you had surgery from a brain bleed." He explains in detail, the detail I needed.
"You saved me?" I ask in clarity.
"I got you out of there." He corrects instantly.
"Which is saving me." I murmur.
"No, saving you would've been getting you out without a scratch on your skin." He shakes his head.
"But I could've died if you didn't get me out. You saved me."
"I didn't save you from a coma Amelia." He says in a final statement, making me go silent while keeping my eyes locked on his vivid ones. "It doesn't matter." He brushes off, adjusting his seat.
I tuck my hair behind my ear, biting the inside of my cheek. I didn't know how to handle all of this, I was so lost. I'm forgetting my whole life technically, and it was so hard to believe I was once this person he was talking about. House fires, children, gangs, and murder? That was not what my life consisted of. School, reading, and drawing was the only things I had going for me from what I remember.
"Stop bitting the inside of you cheek." He says, making my eyes widen and instantly release the skin from my clench.
"How did you—"
"You do it when your anxious and it always cuts up your mouth to the point that you complain about it being sore for the next few days. After being with you for so long I know when you do it." He says, somehow knowing this fact about myself down to it's last point.
"Oh." I mumbled.
The room fell silent, because I had so many more questions but didn't know what to ask.
"Amelia, I know this is tough. But I will do whatever it takes to make you remember again, and if you don't, that's okay too. You have your mom and dad, Audrey, the two other guys you've yet to find out about, and me. And I know I'm nothing more then a stranger to you but if you let me then I'll be there for you more then anyone." He explains softly.
I slowly nod to him, at a loss of what to say. I wanted to cry, scream, yell; but I was numb and lost about who I really was anymore.
"Because after all," he spoke again, looking at me in a very serious manner.
"I will never stop loving you Amelia."
//
yes yes I know this plot twist is overdone but if you're reading a bad boy meets good girl story then what did you expect going into this? ;)
lots of love!! <3