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CAMILLE
I took the bottle of cold water and smiled at the lady behind the counter, one who I didn't recognise so I assumed she was new working round here. The first day back was finally over and I was absolutely exhausted. Max had driven brilliantly as always during both FP1 and FP2, but I could see how tired he was when he returned to the garage and climbed from the car. He had to run to media for a couple of interviews, however, afterwards, we were heading straight back to the hotel. Victoria and I were sharing a room, because after the incident in Belgium, I couldn't be alone at night in places I didn't know. The only places I ever felt comfortable sleeping alone was at my parents home in Amsterdam, where I had a room to save me from booking a hotel each time I flew over, and in the apartment I shared with Max.
Victoria and I planned to have a girls night this evening, something we'd not done for a few weeks because I'd been working. We'd already agreed on using room service, ordering a pizza each off the menu before finding a film to watch on Netflix. Victoria's company was unmatched and whenever we spent time together, I found myself feeling more thankful to have such an amazing friend. She was always there for me and it felt like I could never pay her back, no matter how hard I tried. With so many similarities to her brother, it was no wonder that Victoria and I were such good friends.
I rushed down the steps and out into the warm Australian sun, hoping that Max would be ready to leave when I arrived. Excitement filled me from head to toe as I thought about congratulating him for such a strong drive. Although, I was tired, with jet lag still proving to be quite a problem, and I couldn't wait to arrive back at the hotel.
I was too focused on scrolling through my Instagram feed as I rushed through the paddock to pay attention to my surroundings. I seemed to ignore the sheer around of people who filled the paddock, most of them heading to the gates so they could head back to their hotel before returning tomorrow. It was a bad idea. I almost tripped on someone else's feet, totally risking falling in front of the whole paddock. My heart dropped to my stomach as I filled with embarrassment. I tilted my head upwards and was surprised to be met with a red-faced, timid looking boy, who seemed just as embarrassed as I was. Dressed in Sauber teamwear and a pair of jeans, I thought the boy was quite cute, but I didn't want him to think that. Anyway, I didn't come to Australia looking for a relationship. From simply looking at his outfit choice, it was obvious he worked for Sauber, but I didn't recognise him, so I assumed he was new.
"Merde," French. The mysterious boy muttered under his breath before we made strong eye contact. I hoped the confusion on my face was enough to tell him that I had no idea what he'd just said to me. His eyes were such an unusual shade of darkish green with a slight brown tinge, but they were rather enticing. "I am so sorry."
"It's okay," I smiled, brushing myself off and forcing myself to leave the trance I was becoming engrossed in. As much as I didn't want to, I couldn't help but admire this boy. "I should have been looking."
"I was running right into you and did nothing about it, are you okay?" He held his hand out for me but I ignored the gesture, alarm bells immediately ringing in my head. I wasn't one for making physical contact with boys. I only trusted Max to get close and even though this gesture was friendly, I couldn't accept it. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright," I shook my head, remembering that I promised Max I wouldn't be late. It worked well as an excuse to remove myself from this situation. "Sorry, I have to go."
I rushed away, leaving the French boy looking dumbfounded by Red Bull's hospitality. My heart was racing. I just wanted to get back to Max. I turned around once to see the boy watching me contently as I hurried away. I felt awful leaving like that, but I didn't want to stay around him. I didn't know him and that scared me. I didn't want to put myself in a position which could lead to something dangerous.
"Camille!" Victoria's voice echoed through my ears as I stepped into the hospitality trailer. She startled me and sent my heart racing even faster than before. Her arm linked through mine and together, we headed towards the back of the large trailer and towards Max's private driver cabin. Victoria knocked briefly before opening the door. My best friend was standing in the middle of the room, only in his jeans, as he held the Red Bull team shirt over his forearm. Victoria noticed that I was a little panicked, my cheeks feeling warm with worry and she whispered to me, not wanting Max to hear our conversation. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." I gave her a reassuring nod, before stepping away from the corner and smiling at Max, who opened his arms for me as he finished buttoning up the polo shirt he was now wearing. I walked towards him, revelling in excitement at the thought of finally being in his warm embrace.
"Cami," his words were soft and calming, immediately I felt at peace as he wrapped his arms around me. I exhaled heavily, resting my head against Max's shoulder. "Are you ready to go back to the hotel? Got everything?"
"Yes, Max." I didn't want him to worry about me, and worrying was something Max did very well if I was involved. It showed how much he cared about me and how it was genuine, but I didn't want him to worry about this. It was only minuscule and very irrelevant, so I tried to brush it off. All I wanted was to get into the car and head back to the hotel where I could spend my evening feeling a little more relaxed. I didn't want to spend all of my time worrying about the boy from Sauber. I didn't even know his name.
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"Finally!" Victoria's smile was wide when we got back to our hotel room. I threw my handbag onto the sofa in the corner, smiling as I was able to throw myself onto the large double bed. The room was spacious, with two double beds and a sofa bed in the corner, a large flat screen television on the wall, with a DVD player installed.
I'd been quiet on the journey home and now, as we returned back to a private setting, I felt a little more relieved. I could push it to the back of my mind until I arrived at the paddock again tomorrow. It was difficult however, because I couldn't stop thinking about how he tried to reach for my wrist, which brought back thousands of unwanted memories. I felt like crying in the passenger seat, but I couldn't allow any tears to spill from my eyes because I couldn't startle Max. I knew that if I told him, he would drag me to the Sauber garage to point the boy out, before giving him a stern talking to. He didn't do any harm at all, apart from bringing back memories he didn't know even existed, so he didn't deserve Max shouting at him in the garage. Max didn't need to make a scene.
"What's wrong, Camille? You're unusually quiet," Victoria sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to hold her hand against my shin. I jumped at her touch and she exhaled sadly, a frown developing against her soft features. She knew I only ever got like this if I was thinking about that night in Belgium. After today at the track, it was inevitable that it would be on my mind. "Did something happen today?"
I was afraid to tell her, because I didn't want Max to find out. I knew that Victoria wouldn't say anything to him about it, what happened wasn't as bad as I made it out to be in my head. I didn't speak, I simply looked at my best friend, a frown resting on my lips. She rubbed my leg and I buried my face into my hands, exhaling heavily, before lifting my head to look again at Victoria.
"This boy bumped into me today when I was coming out of hospitality, it's not a big deal really, but he was apologising and he tried to take my wrist and it just scared me," I shrugged, feeling a little better after getting it off my chest. The feeling always seemed to eat away at me. I felt guilty because I should have protected myself. "I said I had to go when he tried, he didn't mean any harm, it just reminded me of... you know.'
Victoria nodded and hung her head low, shuffling across the bed to wrap her arms around me. It felt like I was enduring a never ending battle with my own mind, everything reminded me of the one evening that I wanted to forget. Even two years after it happened, it still haunted me and I could not have any form of relationship with any other man apart from Max. He was the only male I could trust because I knew his intentions with me were always positive ones. He wouldn't dream of hurting me. In fact, he wanted the complete opposite; to keep me safe.
"I'm just tired of it always being there. It's such a burden, Victoria," I couldn't do anything to prevent the small tear slipping from my eyes. She held me in her arms and allowed me to cry into the material of the hoodie she was now wearing. The scent of her sweet perfume was strong. "I don't know why it happened to me. What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing is wrong with you, Camille," she shook her head and I could hear the sadness in her voice. She was always there to comfort me when I got myself worked up, blaming the incident on myself. "He was the problem and even he knows that. Come on, let me cheer you up. Get yourself into the tub and we can order pizza when you're finished. I'll put your pyjamas over the heater so they're warm for you."
I smiled at my friend, quickly giving her a hug, before rushing towards the bathroom to run myself a hot bath. I didn't know what I would do without Victoria. I used the complimentary bubble bath, placing the body wash from my suitcase on the side of the bath itself. A fresh towel lay on the side of the large sink. I dipped my toes into the water to check the temperature because I didn't want to unnecessarily burn myself after already spending all day in the heat. The temperature was perfect, so I climbed in and immediately, I felt relaxed. The hot water was like an immediate relief for the pain in my feet and it loosened the tension throughout my body. I knew that a hot bath was exactly what I needed to feel better.
I didn't bathe for long, I washed my body quickly before climbing out of the bath and wrapping the clean towel around me. My hair was messily tied away from my face, loose strands a little damp from the condensation from steam in the bathroom. I ensured my feet were dry before padding back into the bedroom to find Victoria resting comfortably on her bed. I noticed the room service menu was beside her, my stomach growling as I thought about the food I would eat tonight. My mouth watered and it only fuelled me to change quicker. I removed the towel once my body had dried and replaced it with my pink pyjamas, taking the bobble from my hair to brush and tie it up again neatly.
"I've already decided," she left the menu on the white bedsheets for me to take into my own hands and choose what pizza I wanted for dinner that evening. "You don't even need to look, Cami. I've ordered your food already."
I rolled my eyes, "it's not my fault I like it plain!"
I placed the menu back on its stand, turning to face Victoria once again. It was obvious that she was scrolling through her Instagram feed without stopping. I watched her expressions as I took a seat on my own bed, stretching and yawning as I rolled over so that I was facing her.
"There's a new driver on the Sauber team this year and he is so cute," she giggled and I raised an eyebrow. I never paid much attention to any other team apart from Red Bull. I most definitely was biased, but Max was my best friend and I was his number one fan, so naturally he gained all of my support. "I just followed him on Instagram."
New driver. Sauber. So cute? Shit.
I didn't want to mention which team shirt the boy who bumped into me today was wearing, but as I remembered, it was most definitely a Sauber. I knew it could be completely coincidental, there was always the possibility of multiple new team members. I was still curious, of course, I wanted to see his face.
"Let me see," I peered over her shoulder and felt my stomach drop. I recognised his beautiful eyes, his messy hair and plump lips, but I felt a little disgusted in myself for describing him in my head like that. I wasn't looking for a relationship. It was the same boy I'd bumped into today and I had no idea it was Sauber's new driver. "Oh yeah, he's cute."
"Isn't he! I think Max knows him, but I've never spoken to him," she shrugged, scrolling through his Instagram feed. I peered over her shoulder, watching attentively to ensure that she didn't accidentally like one of his pictures. "I wonder if he's single."
I bit on my lip and sunk back into the pillows behind me, "what's his name?"
"Charles," she smiled, turning her head to look at me. "Charles Leclerc."
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