Chapter 36
"I killed someone, I killed someone, I killed someone," I keep repeating over and over again, everyone sitting around the table.
Pulling my hair was not helping, but it was distracting.
"She's going crazy," Kade mutters. Jax snorts.
"Nah, man, she's going loco," He replies. I lift my head to glare at the both of them.
Thanks to Noah and Xander, who are sitting on either side of Jax and Kade slap them over the back of their head simultaneously.
They both mutter an ouch and Kade runs a hand through his hair, giving Noah a look.
"Easy for you guys," I say. Everyone looks at me. "Each one of you has murdered at least somebody in the past. This is my first kill!"
Noah shakes his head.
"Ace hasn't killed anybody."
I narrow my eyes, wondering where he even is.
"Ace is gone with Arsen to get a package from Dean," Logan tells me from my left, and I look over at him, forgetting he's even there.
I still haven't opened my note. It's buried at the bottom of my jeans pocket. Where it belongs.
"Why him?" I ask, wondering why Arsen didn't take me.
"He wanted you to recover from, you know, killing someone," Ameena tells me, smiling as she puts a hand on my arm.
I swallow, thinking of something. "Is it possible to go to Gunther's funeral?"
Don snorts but immediately covers his mouth when I look at him.
"What?" I ask. He raises an eyebrow.
"You can't. Kind of defies the laws of being in a gang," He points out sarcastically, rolling his eyes and getting up.
Nudging Logan to follow, he walks out of the room. I furrow my eyebrows.
He really doesn't like me, now.
It hurts.
"He's right, you know," Noah tells me. "If you want to stay, you've gotta turn off your emotions when murdering someone."
My mind wanders to Arsen.
"The one guy who's murdered the most out of us is like that because he kept an icy heart. Xanthe, we thought you'd be able to thaw it out. But instead, he's making you just like him."
I turn to Noah as Ameena, Kade and Jax nod at his words.
"What do you mean?"
I don't want to be a murderer.
"He's grown close to you now. And he knows you can make him better. That's why, instead of killing you like the other girls or sending you away, he's turning you into him. So that you'll stay by his side, and do exactly what he does. That way, he'll get exactly what he wants." Noah explains.
My eyebrows scrunch together. "And what does he want?"
"You." Xander answers, his eyebrows also furrowed as he and Noah share a glare. I look at him and Kade nods in agreement, a sad look in his eyes. Jax smirks.
"He also wants a partner in crime," He speaks up.
"What are you guys suggesting?" I ask, knowing what they're about to say.
"We're sending you back to your mom."
My eyes widen and I immediately get up from my seat, the thought of being bossed around from her getting to me.
Ameena promptly gets up with me and silently glares at Noah.
"But, obviously, not yet," She reassures me, patting my shoulder.
I shake my head, narrowing my eyes and shrugging off Ameena's hand.
"I'm not going back to her," I hiss. Noah also stands up.
"Xanthe, she's your mother, she knows what's best for--"
"No, Noah. She just wants to own everything. You know she's plotting Arsen's death right this minute?! And I wouldn't be surprised if she was plotting mine, too," I tell him, shaking my head furiously.
"Wait," Jax stands up.
"Shut up," Ameena and Noah say at the same time.
"Xanthe, there's a reason why Arsen wants you, and even we don't know that yet," Ameena says.
"It could be bad," Noah tells me.
"And dangerous," Xander adds.
"Guys," Jax calls.
Everyone sighs. "What?"
"We could send Xanthe to her mom--"
"No." That was me.
"--BUT, we get her to suck up to Melissa so that she'll tell Xanny what she's planning to do. We might even know what Max is up to. I mean, the whole point of bringing Xanthe into our gang was to get rid of Max, right? We send her undercover."
I furrow my eyebrows. "That's actually a good idea," I say, contemplating.
I only said that because I don't want to stay with that witch until I graduate. Which I probably won't.
"We're not in a movie, Jax, we don't go undercover. We do everything with guns," Xander says, throwing back his jacket to reveal the pistol and winking at me.
Noah and Kade roll their eyes.
"No, Jax might be onto something," Noah says. "Xander, throw me that USB," He points to the USB sitting in its place next to the microwave.
I always wondered why that was there.
Xander narrows his eyes and grabs it before chucking it at Noah, who catches it swiftly.
"Xanthe," I turn to him. "We're sending you undercover." He holds up the hard drive.
I clear my throat as he passes me it.
"Um, Noah, this is a USB."
He smiles. "Exactly. Look, this button at the side, if you press it, the drive will start recording everything that's being said or is going on. Just put it in a pocket--"
"Or in your bra," Jax smirks. We ignore him.
"--or anywhere else, and it'll capture signs of what might be detectable. Trust me, it's good."
I take it from him, my mouth an 'O' as I examine it.
"What else do you guys have?" I ask.
They all share a look, and a small smile spreads across Ameena's face.
"Follow me," She says. I raise an eyebrow as everyone rushes into the direction of the basement.
I've never been in there.
We hurry down the stairs, but Noah suddenly puts up two fingers to shush us. He points to a door where we can hear voices - Don and his gang.
He points to our feet and lifts a finger to his lips, telling us to walk quietly. We nod and tiptoe past.
After that, Ameena leads us through a locked door that she unlocked by punching a password into the lock pad.
I raise my eyebrows at the technology, but once we walk in, I completely forget about the password lock pad.
My mouth drops open.
Everywhere I look, there's at least some kind of gadget sitting around. My eyes catch onto something.
"Is--is that a DJ booth?!" I exclaim, and Jax smirks.
"Yeah, baby, and it's mine." He wiggles his eyebrows at Ameena, who rolls her eyes.
But I saw that little smile on her face.
"Xanny," I walk over to where Noah called me.
Everyone gathers around the table Noah is sat at. He points to a high-tech laptop, where a bunch of lines and numbers are up.
"We'll hear whatever is spoken into the USB from there. Here, take this watch."
I look down at the rose gold watch and choke a little. "Please, don't tell me that's--"
"It is. Can track wherever you are, and, if you happen to lose the USB, or you forget to turn it on, then the watch is always on, so just speak into it." Noah tells me.
I scoff. "This is awesome! How come I didn't know about it before?" I ask, picking up a very cool looking pen. Noah takes it from me very slowly.
"Because you're curious."
I roll my eyes. "So! When am I using this?" I ask, smiling. Noah nods at my phone.
"Now. We have your mom's contact. All you've got to do is convince her you don't belong here, you don't like it, and you wanna go back to her again."
I smile. "I'm a very good actor," I boast. Kade scoffs.
"Show off."
I glare at him, punching his shoulder. Noah comes in between us and passes me the watch, glaring silently at Kade who sticks out his tongue.
Smiling, I put on the watch, place the USB in my front jeans pocket, and nod.
"Ready." Taking out my phone, I hold it for Noah to punch in my mom's number. "By the way, where did you get her number?" I ask.
Jax snorts. "Stalking is still a thing, Xanny, don't worry."
I snort and take back my phone. "Good luck, Xanthe," Noah says, and Xander puts an arm around my shoulder.
"We'll make sure you're back by at least two or three days," He says, and I nod, looking at everyone.
Not letting the angry looks pass through with Noah and Kade.
What is up with these three?!
"Are we going to group hug?" Jax says, holding out his arms and draping one over Ameena's shoulder. She glares at him but doesn't remove it.
"No, we're not doing hugs," I tell them. "Hugs mean I may not be coming back, but I am. So...see you guys."
I grin at every one of them, getting a smile from each in return. Except for Xander, who winks, then getting a nudge from Noah and Kade afterwards.
I roll my eyes and smirk, thinking maybe it's just bromance.
As I make my way out of the room, I open up my mom's number, deciding I'm not going to call, I'm going to text.
I don't want to hear her voice. I'll leave the acting for when I'm going to see her.
I open up SMS and start typing.
'Mamá. You were right. I'm being treated like shit. Help.'
I give it one last glance, nodding to myself as I hit the send button.
"I sent the text message," I tell my watch, knowing that they heard.
I silently open the front door, in case Don's gang comes to see what's going on.
Oh no, I didn't say goodbye to him. And I should have.
I wanted to say goodbye to him.
Shaking my head, I quietly shut the door behind me, and walk over to the pond, sitting down onto the ground and leaning against the curb and burying my head into my knees as if though I were crying.
'Xanthe? What did they do! Was it Arsen?'
I roll my eyes, knowing she'd ask about him first, but I know I have to answer.
'I just want to come home.'
Is what I reply with.
'Don't worry, sweetie. I'm coming.'
Of course, she knows where I'm staying! Will there ever be a time when she won't know where I live?!
An hour or so of my waiting, I hear the honk of a car and look up.
"Vehicle approaching," I mutter into my watch.
The door to the SUV opens, and a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes show themselves.
I trail the feet up to a tall woman, wearing a pencil red skirt and a white blouse, matching well with the beige heels.
Mom.
I immediately stand up and take a deep breath, getting ready, before running to her. She opens her arms wide, not even bothering to move.
I throw my arms around her neck and she wraps hers around my waist, hugging me tightly. And I'd be lying if I said it wasn't comforting.
At that moment, I missed my mother.
"Mija," Mom whispers in my ear, and it wasn't hard to fake cry, especially as she soothingly rubbed my hair.
In fact, I don't even think the tears were fake.
"You need to tell me what those cerdos did," She hisses. I look over at her and notice her glaring at the Jaguar parked in front of the house.
I furrow my eyebrows. Wait, Jaguar?
Then my eyes widen.
Arsen's home.
Just as the door is thrown wide open and an angry Arsen and worried Don come rushing out, my mom grabs me and shoves me into the passenger seat.
Both Arsen and Don head for the Jaguar and get in, and just as they start the car, my mother turns the SUV one-eighty degrees and zooms off.
"They'll never catch up," Mom hisses, looking into her mirror.
I hate to say it, but she's right. Mom was always a skilled driver. But then again, Arsen was once a track racer. And so many other things.
"Where are we going?" I ask, and mom laughs.
"To my home, cariño. Which will now be yours, too."
I swallow, wondering if Max or Dorian are also staying with her. My mind freezes when I realize that Teel will most definitely be there.
He's always second in charge when mom isn't there, which means, he'll try to kill me the first chance he gets.
Better get your last words ready then.
Shut up.
*~*~*~*
"Is anyone home?" I ask my mom, slowly reaching for the gun hidden in my back pocket. She smiles at me.
"Only Teel."
I try not to let my repugnance show. "Great."
"It's okay, Xan, I won't let him touch you. This man is skilled at controlling his emotions, and he's recovered from the wound you gave him last time," She gives me a pointed look, and I force a smile but immediately look away.
Mom sighs. "Look, nena, I'm sorry for everything that I did, and I tried very hard to bring you back to me. Trust me, I protected you when you didn't even know. If I could take some moments back, I would, but right now, all that matters is that I got you back," She smiles down at me.
For a moment, even if it is just a second, I believe her. I believe her enough to reach into my jacket and press the button on the side of the USB.
It's off.
"So," I say, grinning at her. "Where's my room?"
She laughs. "Follow me, sweetie," Mom sings, seemingly happy now. I roll my eyes but follow her anyways.
She leads me in, and my mouth drops open.
My room is amazing. She painted it my favourite colour - red - and had my bed made specially, with silk sheets.
I always wanted silk sheets.
A fancy looking wardrobe stands to the side, the doors open to reveal fancy, designer clothes. And, most important of all, an attached bathroom.
I smile at my mom. "Thanks, mamá," I give her a quick hug and she smiles back at me.
"Anytime, mija. Now quickly get changed, I don't know what you're wearing," She gives my t-shirt and jacket a once over before smiling again and walking out of the room.
I silently close the door and take out the fake USB.
After looking at it for a long time, I throw it to the ground, lift my boots and crush it.
"I can't believe I just did that," I whisper, picking up the pieces.
Doesn't matter, I have my watch. Which I will now take off.
I lift it slowly and settle the watch into a tiny compartment inside the wardrobe, nodding to myself.
There are some things mom and I talk about that I don't want anyone else hearing. Especially the gang.
Secrets that I'm still trying to keep.
After taking a long shower and changing into something mom put out for me - ripped black jeans with a white t-shirt and leather jacket - I walk out of the room, obviously, with the gun.
This house is bigger than I thought, with a spiralling staircase leading down.
I carefully tread it and make my way through the huge kitchen and into the dining room attached.
If I didn't know any better, I'd think my mother holds ballroom dances in here. But thankfully, nobody was here but her.
And a man I wasn't planning on ever meeting again.
"Xanthe, you're ready! Just in time to meet the rest of my loyal friends! They just arrived," She says, grabbing my hand and pulling me into a chair. I smile uncomfortably.
"Friends," I mutter. But Teel hears.
"Yeah, she doesn't treat us like servants. She doesn't treat us like Arsen treats you."
I immediately get up and point my gun at his head. "I've done it once, Teel, and I'll do it again," I hiss.
Mom slowly lowers down my arm. "Now, now, I said play nice," She says sweetly, glaring at Teel.
A voice that doesn't match her face.
Now we all know where I got my acting from.
"Where's the rest of your loyal friends, mom?" I ask, smiling. She laughs as if I said the funniest thing ever.
"I'll go get them," She smiles, getting up.
I'm about to protest, not wanting to be left alone with Teel, but she's off in a puff of strong smelling perfume. I sigh and lean back, glaring silently at Teel, who's ugly face smirks back.
He looks like a deformed chicken.
"What? Don't feel like home?" He taunts, and I jerk up.
"Shut up, crocodile," I hiss, and his eyes grow dark.
"You know, your mom doesn't love you like she loves her gang," He tells me, snarling. I roll my eyes.
"What makes you think she loves you more? Did she carry you for nine months?" I ask, and he cackles disgustingly.
"She loves us more because all those times she could've tracked you down and brought you here, she didn't. It took to kidnapping you - twice - so she could get you back!" He laughs, shaking his head.
So that time Dorian kidnapped me, he was supposed to take me to my mother?
And when Teel offered that deal, he was supposed to take me back to mom this whole time?
"I will kill you," I growl. He snorts ridiculously.
"What makes you think you can kill?" He jests. I give out a short, mocking laugh.
"Try me."
"Xan," Mom calls.
Both Teel and I turn to where mom is standing, and my eyes widen at everyone standing with her.
"Meet my gang, sweetie," She smiles.
And there, they all stand.
Dorian, Max, Emma, Vicky, that man working for Dorian who called me 'bitch' countless times, a few men I recognize who worked for Dorian before.
My heart breaks a little all over again when seeing Max.
I take a huge breath, and gulp loudly, my hand tightening around the barrel of my gun.
I see three new girls standing with them, and furrow my eyebrows. The smallest girl in height grins.
"I'm Jenny," She says.
The tallest girl glares.
"Rachel," She mutters. The last one clears her throat and looks at my mom, who smiles.
"And this is Vera. She's the youngest here, at just sixteen. These three girls aren't a part of my gang, we're just letting them hide here," Mom nods.
I furrow my eyebrows at the familiarity of their names. "Why are they hiding?"
"The question you should be asking is, who are they hiding from," Teel stands up from the couch, and naturally, so do I.
"Who?" I ask. Nobody answers, they're all too busy glaring at me.
Teel smirks and mom clears her throat. "From...Arsen. Or, Turner, as we know him by. He's been hunting down all the girls he's known for a very long time. Every morning, he snatches one and kills her. These three are the last ones, and they're next."
My blood turns cold, and I don't know what to feel.
Anger at these girls, for ever going near Arsen. Or of fear, that Arsen's going to kill them. They're innocent young women.
My heart clears two paths.
The first one; help these girls get away.
The second one; not do a thing and let Arsen play his game.
But honestly, I don't really have a choice.
I'll always choose him.
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3142 words.
OKAYYY, guys! I published this on time - thank God!! What do ya'll think??
Did she make a good decision? And what the hell is Arsen doing?! He needs to sort himself out.
Anyway, thanks for 8k reads, oml!! I love you guys soooooo much!
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