Demi had left countless voicemails on your phone over the past few days, all of which you deleted without listening to them. For the first time in 3 years you had time to yourself, and it was really making you re-evaluate your entire life. In a way, you were glad that she had accused you of cheating. If she hadn’t, you would’ve proposed and she probably would’ve said yes. You didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t trust you.
That’s not to say that you didn’t miss her. You did, you missed her with every fiber of your being. You knew it was unfair of you to completely block her out, which is why you decided to text her and invite her out to dinner. It didn’t surprise you when she responded right away, telling you she would definitely be there.
You waited for her in front of the restaurant, mentally going over everything you wanted to tell her. A small smile appeared on your face when her car pulled up, but you also started to get nervous. She pulled you into what you thought to be an awkward hug, so you wiggled out of her arms. “I miss you” was the first thing she said, but you could only nod in response. She opened the door to the restaurant, following right behind you as you walked in.
“I miss you” she repeated once you were seated, looking at you hopefully. “I miss you too, but that’s not the only reason I wanted to see you.” You needed her to understand that your relationship with her was now complicated, and she wouldn’t be able to just apologize and win you back. You made small talk with her until the food arrived, preparing yourself for a serious talk with her.
“I don’t want to marry you anymore” you blurted out, letting your nerves get the best of you. She paused with her fork halfway to her mouth, looking at you with hurt and confusion etched all over her face. You hadn’t planned on starting out with that, but there was nothing you could do to take it back. “I mean, I still love you, I just don’t think we should get married anytime soon.”
She put the fork down, nervously tapping her fingers on the table. “But we can still get engaged. There’s no law that says we have to set a date immediately. We can take time to work on our issues and then get married when we’re ready.” It broke your heart to hear the pleading in her voice, but it would do you no good to give in to her.
“That’s not how it works Demi” you whispered, fighting yourself to not grab her hand. “All of our issues are really your insecurities. I was going to propose because I thought we were perfect and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you. If you don’t believe that I love you too much to ever cheat on you, then what’s the point?” You weren’t looking at her, but you knew that she was crying. You weren’t, surprisingly enough. It actually felt good to get everything off your chest.
Demi didn’t say anything for several minutes, making no sound other than the occasional sniffle. You figured it had finally hit her how much she had ruined with her accusation, so you didn’t rush her into talking. “That’s just who I am. I’m insecure, and you know that. Why can’t you just love me for me?” she finally said, wiping away her tears. Her response wasn’t what you were expecting her to say.
“Don’t do that. Don’t you dare blame me for thinking that you should trust me, especially after being together for 3 years. If you really love me then you should be willing to work on getting over whatever insecurities you might have.” You were angry, not even bothering to cloak the anger in your voice. Quite frankly, you didn’t even want to be in the same room with her anymore.
You almost lost it when she shook her head, whispering under her breath that you should love her and her flaws. “Demi, no! An insecurity isn’t a flaw, it’s something that you can change if you’re willing to work to get over it. I can’t believe I ever wanted to marry you” you seethed, getting up and tossing some money on the table to pay for your meal and walking out, now knowing if the relationship you had with her could ever be salvaged.