I hated it. I hated everything about the glade ever since I came up. I hated how I was different. I hated how vulnerable and shy I came across. I hated how I couldn't defend myself in fear of coming across as the one to blame. And most of all, I hated how scared I was. The only thing that seemed to be keeping me going was a few of the gladers, Chuck, Minho and especially Newt. He understood me, listened to me and was always there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to, making us close friends.
On the other hand, someone who I hated just as much as they hated me was Gally. He was always cautious of me, as if he felt that if he came too close to me, he'd catch some sort of disease. I tried to be nice, civil, but he wouldn't even consider the idea of me being the same as everyone else, the only difference being my gender.
It was another bonfire, in celebration of the new greenie, Thomas, who luckily didn't seem bothered that I was the only girl, which I was so thankful for. I didn't need anyone else accusing me of some ridiculous crap.
I tried to accept it - our situation. The fact that we might not ever be free again. That we might be stuck in this place forever - but I couldn't. I was too scared to. It was too much for me to handle.
I decided to leave. I silently walked to the Homestead hoping no one noticed my absence. I sat against one of the crooked wooden walls and started to let single tears slip down my cheeks as I drowned in my own thoughts. That's when I heard the door creak open slowly. A silhouette appeared in front of the light of the fire, seeping through the doorframe. Newt. I could recognise him anywhere.
"Y/N?" He asked with a worried tone, taking cautious steps in my direction.
"What are you doing here?" I sniffed, lifting myself from the ground, shaking the dirt off of my trousers.
"Making sure you're okay. Why'd you leave?"
When he came close enough so that the single torch in the room lit up his soft features, I dropped my gaze, looking anywhere but his eyes as I knew I would end up breaking down in front of him, and I didn't want him to see me like that.
"I-I... wanted to be, alone." I answered, sounding confused.
"Why?" He asked softly, and that's all it took. I looked up at him slowly as my eyes filled with tears, blurring my vision, before I felt them roll down my cheeks and fall to my feet. He didn't say anything, giving me time to answer his question.
"I hate this," I sniffed, wiping my cheeks, "I hate being here, trapped. Not remembering anything. My past. My home. My... family." I explained as he neared closer to me with a compassionate expression. He wrapped his arms around me, locking me in his warmth and safety as I whispered, "I hate that I'm so scared."
He squeezed me tightly into himself before letting go of me, leaving his hands holding onto the sides of my arms gently. "We're all scared of something."
I frowned at him. I knew that everyone had their own fears but what made me wonder was what he himself was afraid of. He was so caring and brave and everything that a great leader should be, but, he never showed his fears.
"What are you afraid of?"
He almost smiled at the question, weirdly, but then place his hands on both of my cheeks, gently caressing them as my eyes skipped between his own. "I'm scared of losing you," he whispered.
I wanted to ask what he meant, but before I could make words come out of my mouth, he leaned in and slowly placed his lips on mine.
Much to my surprise, I kissed back. I felt Newt smile against my lips as he started to deepen the kiss.
"I love you," he mumbled and I giggled slightly pulling away for a second.
"I love you too."
And with that he pressed his lips back on mine, slightly harder. Our heads moved together, in synchronisation.
I let out a subtle moan, letting him push his way into my mouth with his tongue. He wasn't rough, rather, gentle as if this was the only time he could ever do this. His hands left my face and he placed them on my bare waist, lifting my shirt slightly, suggestively. I was quick to catch up. I broke away from him, reaching for my shirt and pulling it off, while Newt did the same. We threw them to the side without breaking eye contact.
He leaned in again, much slower and placed a single kiss on my lips, before moving to my neck. I gasped as he made contact with my skin, littering light kisses all over before sucking gently.
"Newt," I breathed. He hummed in response, moving kiss lips all over my neck. I dropped my arms from around his neck and put them on his belt, starting to unbuckle it, wanting more. He pulled away, still holding onto me, looking down at my hands on his trousers.
"Y/N."
I looked up at him just as I finished undoing his belt. He stared at me for a few seconds, concern plastered visibly on his face.
"I-I don't want to hurt you," he whispered. I smiled at him and how considerate and worried he was.
"You won't, it's okay."
That seemed to be all he needed before he pulled his trousers down as did I. His eyes skimmed over my body with his mouth slightly parted, making me blush lightly.
I walked up to him and kissed him, pressing myself against him. I could feel his breathing, his muscles, his warmth and, by this point, his erection. I blushed at the contact while he kissed me back. He then started lowering me down, not breaking the kiss, until I was laying down. He kissed my neck, working his way down my body, my chest and my stomach before stopping and looking up at me. I nodded and he pulled my underwear off, leaving me completely naked. He continued pressing gentle kisses until he reached my heat.
He licked it once, causing me to buckle up, gasping at the amazing feeling, before continuing, moving his tongue everywhere. He then slowly, started to push his tongue as deep as he could manage. I put my hands in his hair, tugging at it, making him moan.
"Newt," I whimpered as he continued licking, causing waves of immense pleasure to wash over me. "I want you," I struggled to form the words. He glanced up at me and took his boxers off, revealing his large erection. He positioned himself on top of me, looking up to make sure I was okay with this, and, when I gave a small nod, he slowly slid himself inside.
It hurt. But it was okay. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to show him the pain but he must have noticed.
"I'm sorry," he whispered and I replied with a timid, 'it's okay'.
He let me adjust, get used to his size before slowly pulling out and pushing in again.
"You're so... fucking tight," he moaned through gritted teeth, making me blush.
His thrusts became quicker and deeper, until he hit a sweet spot, deep in me, earning a loud moan. He got the idea and continued hitting the same spot as sweet sounds of pleasure escaped my lips. He growled as he started hitting his own high, quickening his pace.
His movements became sloppier and out of rhythm as his warm liquid filled me up. I gasped as I hit my orgasm too. He pulled out and laid down on the ground beside me kissing my forehead.
"I love you," he breathed.