It's Not Me

Av Queen-Jellyfish

169K 5.4K 2K

Crushing on someone is always difficult Even more so when they're of the same gender Crushing is hard Especi... Mer

A conflict...
1-From the Beginning-1
2-Visits-2
3-What Now?-3
4-Mandatory Make Over-4
5-Not Planned-5
6-Get It-6
7-Agreement-7
8- Another One?-8
9-Fears-9
11-Love Confession(s)?-11
12-Can We?-12
13-Not Really-13
14-Really-14
15-What do you mean?-15
16-It Wasn't Like That-16
17- Damage Control-17
18-Feelings-18
19-Friends-19
20-What's Next?-20
21-It Begins-21
22-Even With it All-22
23-Betrayal-23
24-A Shock-24
Its her

10-Past Mistakes-10

6.1K 204 175
Av Queen-Jellyfish

Jennie was sitting on your couch with Molly on her lap when you came out and once she heard the padding of your feet on your wooden floor, she looked up and gave you a nod while Molly hoped off her lap and scurried off.

"I'll get the tea" you told her softly and you made your way to the kitchen, quickly getting two cups out and preparing the tea as you let your thoughts run rampant.

This would be probably the first time Jennie ever really came to your home, the first time she ever really saw any part of your life despite the years of friendship.

You didn't know why but the thought made you slightly go cold, even a bit upset over it. Rationally, you knew it would be dangerous if she was caught ever going to someone's house like this, even more so since you weren't part of their scene which you tended to forget with how easy going the girls were.

But as you said, they were easing going and while Lisa made an effort to come over with play with Molly while you two talked, and Jisoo came to dress you up at times, and Rose liked to watch you bake, Jennie had never quiet done the same thing.

You had an odd weight on your chest then as you went to the living room and slid the cup into her cold hands, her eyes never leaving you as you sat a seat away from her and turned on the t.v, letting the lull sound fill the silence as you set your own cup down on the coffee table.

Jennie had taken a sip of hers and rested it against her thighs, warming her hand and feeling a peace settling into her.

She'd never quiet felt so relieved from any stress, but she knew that she couldn't hide from it forever.

"I... I'm sorry I came to you" She said finally after a second of silence and you shook your head.

"It's fine, Jen. You're my friend" you spoke softly, questioning to yourself how much of a friend she really was.

"Even after I ignored you? I'm sorry, I just knew you'd be at your shop today and I still came" she said, guilt evident on her face and you sighed.

Really, could you find a reason to hate Jennie simply because your crush on her wasn't working?

No, even if she never came to your house, she always spent hours of work with you when she didn't spend it in the studio.

She still knew of all your troubles and doubts, she would still hold your hand with a stretch of your palm, she still knew of how your nose would twitch if you lied.

Just because she didn't know these things didn't mean anything, she had always done her best to be a good friend.

To be there for you even during your worst.

"Jennie, it's fine really. You know you can come to me with the problems, I can't turn my head away when you were always there for mine" you responded, giving her a soft look as she continued to make herself smaller on the couch.

"If you really feel bad about not knowing these things, I'll tell you right now, when I got them the only thing going through my mind was that I'd look cooler and that's mostly what stopped me from crying when getting the tattoo"

She let out a giggle at that, figure losing tension and she leaned a bit more as you have her a smile and looked down at your hands.

"Afterwards I really liked them and I guess I just let my body become a canvas. The motorcycle was also pretty freeing, I like the wind in my hair despite how cheesy it sounds" you said and she nodded, looking up at you with interest.

"When did you get them?" She asked and you hummed at that, cringing slightly at the memory.

"Ah, I was a troubled teenager who was angry at my parents for not accepted me for how I was." You said and she raised an eyebrow at this as you gave her a reassuring smile.

"You may know of my break downs nowadays but never quiet back then. I'm fine with them now, but back then I was intent of going against them in every way I could. I mean, I'd go out and drink, smoke, got my tattoos, piercings, and even ran away from home once" you said with a small sigh as you leaned closer to the couch and raised your legs up underneath you.

"I came back and it wasn't at all like in the movies. Parents were mad for a while and I was just sad. After a while they came to accept that it was just the way I was made, they didn't want to lose me and I didn't want to lose them." You said and a small chuckle left you as you thought of fond memories.

"I was still pretty mad at them too though, and I remember when my mom told me to bring a boy to prom, I took the gayest friend I had, brought a girl home and you can guess how that went down that night" you said with a grin and at this you saw Jennie slightly twitch, but she gave you a soft smile.

"That was quiet the conversation we had when the girl came out limping, dress half hazardously on, as she flashed my parents a queasy smile before she was out the door" you hummed then and then broke out laughing before giving Jennie a small side glint.

"Wanna know who the girl was?" You asked and really, Jennie had a small knot at her throat but she nodded, intrigued nonetheless.

"It was my older brothers ex" and at this you laughed again, making Jennie slightly chuckle. It was nice to hear of your stories as a renegade teenager, but she wondered how you got here.

"Then What happened? How'd you become the owner of such a cutesy shop?" Jennie asked, voice soft and she loved how warm she felt talking to you.

"Ahh, well, I always loved making pastries, coffee, oddly enough business— and I thought why the hell not combine all three?" You said and she smiled against the rim of her teacup, that does seem like you.

"Anyway, i guess it's getting late. We should head to bed" you said as you started to get up and she felt her throat tighten.

No, she wanted to keep talking to you. Wanted to keep seeing your face. It's been too long, she wants to hold your hand-

"It was Sehyun"

You stopped mid walk and your head basically snapped to look at her, at the bruises.

"What?" You remarked, jaw clenched as you hoped it wasn't what she meant.

She didn't answer again however, and simply looked down at her teacup before getting up and placing it on the coffee table next to your untouched one.

She didn't need to answer again anyway, you got the gist and you felt your blood start to boil, hair standing up at the back of your neck.

Despite her being physically taller than you, she still felt small as you basically started cussing out in anger, fist clenched and shaking.

You were so mad, enraged actually and you felt so utterly useless as you turned to Jennie to see her cowering now.

Angry tears started to stream down your cheeks, hands doing their best to unclench but you were shaking.

"God, he's so fucking disgusting. Touching a girl like that-"

"D-dont talk about him like that" Jennie suddenly caught you off and your jaw fell open, how the hell was she defending him while cowering in fear?

"Jennie, no— you're fucking cowering! There's bruises on your body when there shouldn't fucking be!" You said and she snapped to look up at you, brows furrowed.

"No, no! He-he loves me! He does!" She shouted back at you, now sounding like she was trying to convince herself more than anything and you scoffed.

"He sure has a way to show it" you spat back and felt immediate guilt hit you as her own tears fell down her cheeks.

"You d-don't know him! You don't know how he s-shows it!" She was clenching her jaw, anger making her body shake.

You felt your entire body tense, it was really starting to grind at you of how senseless she was being. And again, the feeling of utter helplessness was eating at you making another knot appear on your throat.

"I'm l-leaving! I have to go! I have to-" she was now sounding hysterical, still shaking and she almost ran out, but you grabbed her wrist and made her stop before even getting near the door.

Tell me, what does that fucking monster have?" You said between clenched teeth as angry tears ran down your cheeks.

Your grip on her hand slightly tighter than intended as Jennie looked at you through her thick eyelashes, her head hung low as you waited for an answer.

She ripped her hand away from your grip in a second, using both of her hands to push her hair out of her way and a small choked sob to leave her.

"Why do you want to butt in? No one asked you! You're just trying to ruin him! You're just trying to ruin my happiness!" She said and for a moment, your gaze softened and you shook your head, studying her as she glared through her tears.

She looked like hell if you were being honest, her entire figure shaking, her eyes blood shot, and her hair unkept and it was just so unlike her.

"Jen, no... I just... No, I would never try to take away your happiness, but he just isn't right for you." you softly said as you reached out to her once more but she moved from your touch, realization suddenly dawning on her as she looked at the ground for a second with wide eyes before looking up at you, mouth agape before she spoke,

"And you are?" She asked, voice hard and you flinched at that, enough for her to catch it and it was as if the same bout of realization was hitting her as she scoffed.

You felt hurt ping at your chest painfully.
How had this night taken even more of a turn?

"I'm not doing this, I'm not about to fight about this Jennie. Please, just calm down and let's go to sleep ok? We... we can try to talk about this in the morning" you said, almost begged and she still looked mad, but eventually she nodded and you sighed, moving to the living room closet and taking out an entra blanket and pillow from the wall.

"Here, I can sleep here and you-" but before you could finish she had taken the objects from your hand and all but stomped to the couch, setting the objects down and sliding in.

You felt hurt just keep piling on, anger ready to take over at how childish she was being, but hurt just overshadowed it and you sighed, dragging your feet to your room.

"Goodnight Jen"

You didn't get a response.

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