Q: Caitlin didn't you already post this in your blurbs book?
A: yes, but it quite frankly isn't a blurb (honestly not a short either but I gotta draw a line somewhere)
Plus I think it's good so why not share it again?
Michael
You tended to be a rather honest individual. Pack life already made a certain level of privacy impossible since you were connected to everyone else on a level that made it difficult to lie and keep secrets.
It was difficult, but not impossible. Yours was fairly innocuous, but still not something you wanted to get out. Namely, that you were on suppressants to fend off your heat. Not even your supposed mate, Michael knew. He wouldn't like it one bit. He'd been waiting for you to go into heat in order to finally prove to you that the two of you were meant to be together.
Female wolves could only tell if their partner was their true mate during heat, but by then it was often too late. You'd heard too many stories of charismatic male wolves convincing females that they were their match only to find when they went into heat, that he had been lying the whole time, forcing her to either choose extreme pain by going through it alone, or spending it with a male she knew was a liar. Many often chose the latter. Technically it was an illegal practice, but it was all too easy for a male wolf to claim that he was simply confused and then didn't want to leave the female in a time of need. Many pack alphas looked the other way.
You weren't going to be one of them. No matter how genuine Michael seemed, or how sure he was that he was your mate you wouldn't budge until you were sure. But you also wouldn't tell him you were on the suppressants. He wouldn't approve, and you didn't want the fight.
(Un)Luckily, you didn't see him all that often. He was a beta and so usually was in pack offices, your pack was large and he was in charge of preventing rogue attacks which was a serious job that required a lot of focus and attention. He'd told you before that once he was mated it was likely he'd get moved to warrior training and one of the unmated betas would take over his role, but it was impossible to know for sure, and until that point he risked himself every time he went out on raids and protected your borders.
However, every Saturday evening there was a pack picnic that had mandatory attendance for all members who were physically and emotionally able, which meant you both were often there. Ever since you'd shifted a few months ago and your scent changed, Michael had been sure you were the one for him. He'd asked Alpha Hood to move your seat to be beside him as was customary for couples and the alpha had agreed immediately. So every Saturday for at least an hour, you were stuck next to him at the head table reserved for pack leadership. There you had to play nice. You let him wrap his warm arm over your shoulder and sometimes even pull you into his lap. You'd breathe in his admittedly intoxicating scent and relax into his hold. Sometimes he'd feed you off of his own plate which was a sign of deep affection, and once you'd done it back, much to the excitement of the other wolves at the table.
But you weren't ready yet. You knew he was antsy, a regular cycle was a heat every month for a wolf of your age, even with suppressants it was only supposed to be every three. You were going on your fourth. It wasn't healthy, your wolf was less aware and tense. You felt the effects as well, you'd lean into Michael a little more when you saw him and struggle to keep your focus when there was more than two or three males around.
In other words, it was becoming a problem, and Michael had definitely noticed. He himself was far more tense in the last few weeks than he had been previously. He would escort you through the buffet line, not allowing any other males near you, and never seemed to stop touching. He was always right there when he could be. You never got any space or breathing room. You found it annoying. He claimed it was necessary.
You knew that eventually he'd confront you. It was an inevitability given the downward spiral you both were in. What you weren't expecting, was coming home from work to find him in your assigned apartment, sitting on your chair waiting.
"Michael?!" You shrieked in surprise when you opened the door. It was a Friday night, usually he was out on patrol at this time not sitting in other people's apartments.
He stood up and walked toward you, "Y/N, we need to talk." He crossed his arms and frowned.
You rolled your eyes and turned to walk back out the open door. You couldn't have the conversation then, at least not before you'd taken your suppressant for the day. You had already been having a difficult enough time without being close enough to smell him.
Michael had clearly anticipated your desire to flee as he quickly outpaced you and shut the door, "you can't keep running from this Y/N."
"I'm not running from anything," you forced yourself to take a step back, "I just don't have anything to talk to you about."
"No? How about the fact that you're at least a month passed when you were supposed to go into heat? That you're abusing your suppressants? You're ruining both of our abilities to focus on anything? We could talk about the fact that you're willing to cuddle up to me at the picnics but then bolt away after. Maybe that you have commitment issues and refuse to have an adult discussion about both of our futures. Is that all? Or is there something else? Someone else? Tell me Y/N, what are you hiding from me?" He had been slowly drawing closer to you as his impassioned speech continued. Your back hit the wall and he was towering over your person, eyes flicking between their natural green and his wolf's amber color. He was upset, but taking in deep breaths to calm himself and probably to tell his primal side you were there and safe.
"Y-you knew about the suppressants?" You stuttered out like an idiot. Of course he knew. He knew the fifth week after your initial interaction when you hadn't gone into heat. He'd known nearly the whole time. He'd let you get that far. That's what you didn't want to confront. That he was kind, giving you space, trying to get to know you and spend time together while still ensuring that he wasn't suffocating you with his presence. He wasn't demanding, but both of you relied on the weekly check in to ensure the other was alright and healthy. You didn't want to confront the truth that you might actually be pretty sure he was yours.
Because there was always the chance that he wasn't.
"Don't change the subject Y/N, I want to talk about why you keep rejecting me," his whole body was shaking as he fought to stay still, to let you speak and to listen to what you said. Clearly though, he was struggling. And you heard the hurt in his voice. You owed him the truth.
"I'm scared," you blurted out, unable to meet his intense gaze, "I'm scared because I can't be one hundred percent sure without making myself vulnerable. If you're wrong regardless of whether you mean to be or not, I'll have to ride through a really intense heat alone, or stay with you knowing we're both supposed to be with other people. I'm scared that you're not the one, and that even if you are I'm not good enough because you're important to the pack and I'm just using resources to go study and work a little on the side. I'm scared about taking a leadership position if we mate and that the other females will reject me. I'm scared that if you are the one and I go into heat you'll realize that you don't want me. I'm just-" you hadn't realized how much you'd held inside, pent up, until you told him. "I'm scared that this is going to hurt me. I'm sorry."
It seemed that a lot of the anger and frustration had released from Michael's body as he stood there in front of you just looking sad. "I wish you would've told me that earlier Y/N, I didn't realize that you felt like that. I thought that you didn't want to mate because you didn't like me and were trying to figure out how to reject me before mating." He shook his head and let out a breath, "I guess I'm the stupid one here, I just didn't think that someone so wonderfully talented and intelligent and beautiful would think so lowly of herself. Can, can I touch you? I promise I won't try anything, just a hug." He opened his arms.
You momentarily hesitated, but he smelled so good and you knew that being surrounded by him was comforting for both of you. So you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your face into the spot where his scent was strongest. He immediately wrapped his arms back around you simply to hold you and make you feel better. As you started to calm down, he let one of his hands gently smooth up and down your back, exerting a gentle pressure to further calm you and his cheek rested on the top of your head.
"I'm sorry I was so mad. I completely misjudged the situation," he spoke lowly, knowing you wouldn't respond. He just wanted you to listen. "I don't want to do anything that scares you or makes you uncomfortable, I just didn't want you to leave me, or reject me because you thought I wasn't good enough. I mean, I'm the least impressive beta, you don't have to deny it, Luke and Ashton are both taller, stronger, and basically run the place with Calum while I draw out schedules for border patrols." He laughed dryly and you stopped sniffling. You didn't think he would ever think like that about himself either, he always seemed so strong and confident. "We can wait as long as you want. I just want you to know that I don't think I've ever been as sure about anything as I am about the two of us being together. I know that it's harder for females and that there's a lot of bad wolves out there that take advantage but I'd never do that to you. All I ask is that if you're not ready, go to the clinic and let them sedate you, don't keep putting it off because it's not healthy at all. I don't want you to hurt yourself. You're very important to me," he turned his head so that he could breathe in your scent like you were to him.
You took advantage of his pause and spoke, "Michael I don't think you're the least impressive beta. I think that you sacrifice and awful lot for everyone else and carry out one of the most important jobs for the pack and all of our security. Having a mate does scare me, and being vulnerable is really hard, but you just were with me. I've never seen someone in leadership admit an insecurity like that. I didn't think you had one. And you're right, I need to go into heat because it's really taking a toll and I'm not being fair to my wolf, my body, or you." You took a deep breath. Michael's grip loosened as he was clearly expecting you to ask him to leave. "So," his arms tightened again, "I want you to stay here with me."
Michael squeezed you tightly and then quickly stepped back, "you mean it? You don't have to if you don't want to, not that I'm complaining but-"
"Yes, I mean it. Clearly, you're very sure and I have only reasons to trust and believe you, none to think that you would be trying to harm me," you nodded and took a deep breath, softly smiling at your future mate.
"Have you taken your suppressants for today?" He asked, bending down to sniff at your neck. Before you could answer, he swore softly and let out a strained, "definitely not."
"I still feel okay right now, so it'll probably be a few hours," you chuckled at his pout.
"I should probably call Calum then and let him know I'll be out for a few days," he took another deep breath in, "maybe a week."
"Michaelllll!" You flushed and shoved his shoulder.
"What? I'm just being honest, it's been like four months," he put his arms up in defense to block your halfhearted blows.
"Whatever, I'm going to turn on a movie, you make your call and come back with popcorn," you said very seriously, and turned for your bedroom.
"Yes ma'am," he nodded with a grin and pulled out his phone, "should just be a few minutes."
"It better be, Beta Clifford," you through him one last look before closing your door behind you and collapsing onto your bed with a huge smile on your face.
For the first time in a long time, you were pretty sure everything was going to turn out just fine.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and voting! (Again?)
I'll add some extras on to make it worth your while
It happened sooner than you anticipated. You were only halfway through your movie when you felt yourself beginning to sweat. Your breathing hitched and Michael noticed immediately. You tried to pull yourself off of him but he held you close as he sat up, cradling you to his chest.
"Are you okay?" He asked honestly, eyes wide with something that looked suspiciously close to anxiety, "any pain? Do you need like ice or something?"
"No," you shook your head and let out a deep breath, "I'm okay, it's only just starting, I'm a bit worried because I haven't had an unsedated heat since my first and that one was only like eighteen hours and apparently not too intense." You cringed at having to say that because the pain was still vivid in your mind. They really couldn't sedate you once your heat started, your body metabolized the drugs too fast and there were often unpleasant side effects like hormonal imbalances and physical stress from trying to stop something that's already started.
"Hey," you felt his hand gently touch your arm, "we're going to figure this out together. You and me, we're a team from now on."
You nodded and relaxed onto his chest. Oddly enough, his radiating body heat wasn't making you feel warmer, it was actually quite comfortable. You tucked your chin over his shoulder and sighed. "When do you think I'm supposed to be able to tell you're the one?"
He hummed, "I guess whenever your wolf joins your consciousness."
That made sense. Heats were the only time your human form and wolf mind came together instead of their inverses. You knew that as you got further into your heat Michael's wolf would be called forward, and by then you'd really know for sure.
There was one other thing you wanted to know though, "Michael, have you helped anyone else through a heat before?"
He didn't miss a beat, "no. I haven't been with anyone else. This is my first time too."
You chuckled, "I guess we're in for it eh?"
You just knew he rolled his eyes, "I think we'll figure it out alright, just tell me what you feel like you need."
"Alright," you paused and took an internal inventory, "right now I think I want you to take off your shirt. And maybe mine. I haven't decided yet."
"Yes ma'am."
"And stop calling me ma'am."
...
"Y/N! Wait!" You paused and furrowed your eyebrows. That wasn't-
You turned and saw the alpha jogging toward you. It was. You weren't sure you'd ever had a one on one conversation with him. When you were just Michael's unconfirmed mate and you'd sat at the leaders' table you'd chimed in on a few conversations here and there but never to the alpha. You weren't sure what to do other than freeze and plaster a (hopefully) polite smile on your face. "Alpha Hood, how can I help you?" You asked as he got closer.
"You can call me Calum when we're not in a formal setting, all of the betas do," he waved off the title immediately. "Anyway, I know that you're about to finish school and I want to discuss your new position in the pack."
"Oh, okay," you nodded and followed as he began to walk.
"Since your degree is in environmental engineering I want you to start planning and designing new ways to make our pack more green and bring us back toward our roots," he sounded excited as he spoke, "I want solar panels and water filtration to the the fields. I want cleaner air and water for the pups and future generations. And I want you to lead the team."
You stopped in your tracks, "me? In charge?" You couldn't hide the shock in your voice.
He again nodded and spoke like it was the simplest decision ever, "well yeah, who else?"
...
"Hey babe," Michael pressed a kiss to your temple as he walked into the kitchen, "whatcha doin?"
"Thinking about how to restore the old trash dump into a proper wetland," You pursed your lips and turned to your mate, "what are you doing?"
"Oh I just had a question s'all," he said, pointedly not meeting your gaze.
"Well?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well what?" He questioned.
"Michael. Just spit it out," you rolled your eyes playfully.
"Okay, it's just that... weren't you supposed to go into heat like, yesterday?"
...
"Two? No. Scan me again I don't believe it," you shook your head and laid back.
"I believe it," Michael grinned and looked down at you, "babe, we're having twins!"
"I think I'm going to puke."
...
"Michael jr."
"No."
"Michaela!"
"No."
"Mikey?"
"Still no."
"Mikael with a k?"
"If you don't stop I'm going to scream."
"Yes ma'am."
"Michael!"
"Old habits die hard babe."
Thanks again y'all