Nathan
I wondered if I'd always be nervous on her birthday.
Last year, it'd been because of Valentina, this year, it also had to do with her present. Maybe I should've bought something new after all, or made something myself — most of her belongings were secondhand already, why would she want yet another thing that had been going from woman to woman for at least a century?
But Sam had agreed. There was no better destination for grandma's most cherished possession. Truth be told, ever since the idea had entered my mind, I knew I would've never been able to let it go until I'd carried out my plan. Dancing with her, feeling her gradually relax under my touch, the scent of her and that subtle perfume of hers, little lights in her eyes so close to mine... She was a miracle, and she deserved a present as meaningful as the recipes she gave me each Christmas.
There we were again, on the carpet after midnight, no Christmas tree this time. I'd hinted that I had something special prepared for her, and she'd asked me if she could have it at twelve pm. I probably should've made her wait, so everyone could've seen it, but I was too excited myself and had caved in. Sam wouldn't care anyway; he hadn't even looked up from his Xbox when I'd asked him for permission. Possibly, he didn't remember how much it'd meant to grandma and how many times she'd told us the story behind it. The thought stung.
June was right in front of me, cross-legged, looking very pretty in a black shirt. "Stop your smug grinning!" she said, weakly slapping my shoulder. She'd cut her hair a few days back; the curls had almost been touching the ground when she sat like this, and they frequently got in the way. Right now, they still managed to run down to her navel, fortunately. I didn't think I could've gotten used to it if it'd been any shorter than that.
"I can't," I said. "I think I might've come close to matching your present skills, for once."
She was trying to keep the eagerness out of her face, I could see it. She wasn't succeeding; the lights in her eyes were glittering, and every other second, her gaze flickered to the packages next to me on the floor. I'd wrapped them up myself. It'd taken me multiple attempts, and my hands currently resembled hers, with scrapes and cuts all over them. No idea how she made it seem like those weren't a big deal, because those paper cuts hurt like a motherfucker.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
I grinned, knowing it'd annoy her. "Yeah. Fully."
"You know, I could come back in a few hours if that works for you."
I laughed, then took the first present, the one in the envelope, but didn't hand it over yet. Pearl Jam was playing in the background, Wishlist, a track that'd never caught my attention until she started to put it up every so often. I couldn't understand how I'd never realized the genius of it before. Holding her gaze, I held out the envelope.
"What, no speech? Too easy, Nathan." But she was reaching for it —
Changing my mind, I pulled back, being rewarded with a pair of narrowed eyes. It just made the whole thing more fun. "Well, if you want one," I said, attempting not to chuckle at her apparent annoyance. "This is for... you being who you are."
Her cheeks flushed like I'd just said the most profound and touching words ever, while they felt awfully inadequate to me. She had this talent to convey her feelings and truth in a few simple sentences; even her essays were spellbinding, and I had no idea how she did that.
This was for her uniqueness, for her being herself unapologetically, brave and strong and vulnerable at the same time — see, that didn't make any sense. I wasn't good at this. If only I would've been better at this, if only I could've made her understand how amazing she was and how foolish the rest of the world was... But I'd never been able to do that with Lena either. I liked to think the dancing had helped someway, that it had made her see she shouldn't be ashamed of her body, that she could do anything she wanted to do...
She said "thank you", though, in a soft tone, avoiding looking at me as I handed her the envelope. I'd used as little tape as possible, knowing she always struggled with the stickiness. Her hands weren't listening to her very well; they were making jumpy, uncoordinated movements. Was I making her nervous, after all this time?
I didn't do anything, just waited until she managed to do it herself; I knew that was what she preferred, no matter how much I wanted to help her, no matter that I'd only have good intentions. Eventually, she consorted to ripping it open a little, then yanked out the pieces of paper inside of it. Her brown eyes drifted over the contents until a bright smile appeared on her face and she threw her arms around me, squeezing me tight.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Her voice was high-pitched with excitement, and I let out a breath I hadn't been aware of holding. I'd done well — again. Part one was a success.
"There's two, so you can take anyone you want."
She frowned at me, brushing one of her dark locks from my shoulder, remaining there after her embrace. "Like I would take anyone but you. You're the only one who'd enjoy this as much as me. Sam would feel like he was being punished if he had to go with me."
Yeah, I'd figured the same when I purchased the tickets — they were for an Eddie Vedder concert, Pearl Jam's lead singer, and I'd wanted to go for ages. Going to a concert alone sounded pathetic, so I had to take this chance now. Maybe this present was a little selfish, now that I thought about it. That didn't matter; she loved it anyway, and I was sure she'd never forget the experience. I still remembered Lena and me in the crowd, going wild to Alice in Chains performing right in front of us, the adrenaline, the connection — and to think I was going to be experiencing June's first concert with her, and that it was one of the great ones... Yeah, this gift was definitely more self-serving than I'd realized.
"Oh, I can't wait! I really hope he'll play Wishlist though, and oh, Just Breathe of course, and..." she rambled on and on, listing her favorite tracks, practically lighting up the whole damn room, and suddenly, I didn't know if I could say 'yes' to Charlotte's proposition or even think about it. The conversation on our future was advancing on me — Charlotte had been presenting me with clever hints, and I'd been seriously considering it. But June wouldn't have a place in our life if I'd go through with it, and sitting here with her, I didn't know if I could live with that.
"Am I boring you?" She was waving her hand in front of my face, still smiling.
"Never," I said. "You want your second present?" I couldn't wait to give it to her anymore. At least, if I'd accept Charlotte's plan, she would have something to know I was thinking about her, and that she was as much a part of me as ever.
Sixteen. Strange. She'd changed, growing more serious and reflective, but in the core, she was still June. Still honest, fearless, hilarious, and too damn smart for her own good. Too damn beautiful as well.
"Hell yeah, I want my second present!"
Gingerly, I took the small cube-like package, laying it in my open hands. The nerves were back again, raging through my veins; luckily, that didn't show on the outside, like it did with her. I nodded for her to take it, and she did, carefully, obviously having noticed this was something you had to handle with respect. "This one has a story behind it," I said, watching eagerly as she fiddled with the wrapping paper. "But you need to open it first."
It took her some time, especially because she didn't seem to be wanting to resort to brutal force. Finally, it was only the worn box that was left. Big brown eyes looked up to me, curious, asking me if she could go ahead. When she lifted the lid, the nerves rose to their highest point —
Then, her eyes went wide, staring at me like there was a severed finger in there.
Oh, damn — I shouldn't have done it after all. See? She didn't want some old thing that'd belonged to so many others... You screwed up, Nathan. I needed to explain, I needed to tell her why. "It was...—"
"—...your grandma's," she finished, almost whispering. "I've seen it in the pictures. It's... beautiful."
So, she did like it. Relieved, I relaxed — she'd only been taken by surprise, that was all. "When gran was around your age," I began, looking down at the ring in its box, the one that'd always been a part of her, always worn proudly on that wrinkled finger. The green of the stone was still as deep and rich as I remembered — a little old-fashioned, probably, but impressive anyway. "...she was walking down the street in the pouring rain when she came by this antique shop. She'd been having a rough time, living on her own, not much to get by, and she hadn't been very happy lately. She decides to enter the shop, to take shelter, and soon, she spots this ring."
I took it out of the box, gently. It was cold to my skin, and it made me content to know it'd be warm again in a short while. "She had no way to pay for it, of course, so at first, it just made her sad, knowing it'd never be hers. Then, she realizes that she wants to fight for it, so she goes to the man behind the counter and asks him to hold onto it for her. 'For how long?' the man asks. 'At least a couple of years,' she answers, and he's flabbergasted as that mysterious girl leaves his shop again."
June was hanging on to my every word — her lips slightly parted, eyes focused on the ring, and I wondered if she saw it all happening in her mind. "Ten years later," I continue, "and she's a big shot lawyer. She gets back into that shop, marches straight to the counter, and asks the young man behind it for the ring. 'Ah, so you're the girl my dad told me about,' he says, and without having to look long, he gets out this box, with the ring waiting for her inside. They kept it for her, all that time."
Her eyes were shimmering, and she'd lent closer to me, as if she wanted to make sure she wouldn't miss anything. "Was your grandpa the man?"
Of course she'd tied up the details. She knew he was a shopkeeper, after all. "Yeah... They used it as a wedding ring later." She didn't say anything, only stared at the ring, seemingly not even breathing. It confused me, so I added: "I just thought... gran would've loved for someone to wear it again."
She shook her head slowly, blinking at me like I wasn't making any sense. "But Nathan... that's a beautiful story. I can't possibly take this."
"Of course you can. You're practically family. And gran would've loved you." I love you, I'd been about to say, until I realized that it might've made things strange, considering this had functioned as a wedding ring. "Sam and me, we love you."
Tears were gathering in the corners of her eyes; she wiped them away with her sleeve, her gaze never leaving the ring. "Don't you want to... don't you want to keep it for when you get married? Or Sam?"
Oh. I'd never thought of it that way. It would've been more logical maybe, but for me, nothing made more sense than giving it to her. "Nah... We'd just have to argue over who has the right to use it, and there's a chance whoever the woman is, she wouldn't want it anyway. It isn't much like a classic wedding ring, I think." Charlotte wouldn't want it — it was dated, and the color wouldn't suit her. For a second, I froze, suddenly wondering if she was expecting a ring from me. No, don't be a fool, Nathan. You'd not even been together for a year, and we were only twenty. No need to hurry.
"You want me to put it on?" She nodded stiffly, holding out her hand; it was shaking, wouldn't keep still, so I clasped her wrist, forcing her to stop moving. "Which finger?"
"Index. Don't want people to think I'm married. That'd certainly not help me to find a boyfriend."
I chuckled, before carefully sliding the ring on. Perfect fit. Hayley had done her job right: I'd asked her to find out June's size, in order to refit it. I looked at it, imprinting it into my memory, the green stone on that brown hand full of cuts, like it'd always been meant for her. Yeah, grandma would've been content. Make sure that when you pass it on, it's to somebody who's worth it. I'd finally fulfilled one of her last wishes.
"I'm not a jewelry kind of girl," June said, extending her arm to inspect the ring from a distance, the green stone gleaming in the lights of the lamps above us, "but I'm never taking this off. I promise, Mrs. Redstone, I'll treasure it forever." Her eyes traveled to me, and I was so happy I'd gone through with this. "Really, Nathan. It's beautiful. I love it."
"Good," I said, quickly getting up. "Then I've got a third present."
"A third?" she said, face painfully screwed up like she was scared she wouldn't survive another surprise.
I seized both of her arms, pulling her up without any warning, after that turning up the music a little louder, careful not to wake Sam and Charlotte. She laughed loudly as I grabbed her waist, her hands already in position again, this time with ease. To think how tense she'd been last time — what a difference, with her eyes staring right into mine, little lights right there for me to pluck if I wanted. Lucky guy I was, to be the first to dance with her. I was certainly not going to be the last, so I had to enjoy it while I could. Couldn't be long before someone else noticed how great she was, especially not if she was going to keep wearing this perfume.
She smiled at me brightly. I felt the stone against my skin, and I knew that at last, the ring was back in its right place.