As I'm reluctantly packing my clothes, I try to focus on the fact that Nick said he had something special planned tonight. That keeps me moving. He won't tell me what we're doing, and, when I tried to grill Pete and Candace about it, they feigned ignorance.
It's my last chance to talk to him before I leave tomorrow morning. We still have not discussed what's coming after this. I know we need to, but I just haven't found the courage yet. It has to be tonight. I can't leave tomorrow not knowing where we stand.
It's around seven o'clock, and his shift should be ending any minute now. I sit on the edge of the bed, unable to relax. Candace attempts to make small talk, but I can't engage. She doesn't seem to mind though, going off on her own tangents while Pete and I just listen. When Nick finally gets to the room, he asks if I mind if he takes a shower before we leave.
"Of course, but, will you at least tell me what I should wear?" Currently, I'm wearing a pair of joggers and a hoodie on top of a plain white tank top. I was waiting until he got here to change.
He looks me up and down. "You look fine." And walks out of the room.
I turn to Candace. "Well, that doesn't help."
She shrugs. "What did you expect?"
That's true. No one is less into clothes and fashion than Nick. Just to prove a point, though, I'm going to stay in these clothes.
Candace walks over to me before pulling me into a hug. "I don't know if I'll see you again before you leave, but just know that I have really enjoyed meeting you."
"I have, too. You and Pete have both been so nice and welcoming."
She whispers into my ear. "Hopefully Nick will get his head out of his ass soon and tell you how he feels. I think you'd like what he has to say."
Nick bursts into the room then, freshly showered and ready to go. It's not fair how little time it takes him to look so handsome.
"Ready?" He smiles and holds his hand out to me.
"Yep." I turn back to Pete. "Bye. Thank you for everything this week."
He stops typing on his keyboard to look at me. "No problem. Until next time."
I look at Nick to see his reaction. Will there be a next time? Is it reasonable to assume that I will never these two people again? But I can't read his face.
He holds my hand as we walk to his truck, and once we are inside, he leans over the bench seat to kiss me. It's so unexpected that I don't react at first. He laughs. "Sorry. I won't do it again."
I scoot over the seat until I can swing my leg around to straddle him. Then I bring my mouth to his, kissing him deeply, relishing in the humming noise escaping him. I can smell his soap, which is my new favorite scent. I pull back, and Nick leans into me for an inch or two with his eyes closed until he finally realizes that the kiss is over. I giggle, "Was that better?"
"Much."
I return to my seat, but hold his hand the entire drive. I sit in silence as Nick takes us through green light after green light, until we head out of town. There are no cars out here, and it reminds me of home. Driving in the country with my friends are some of my favorite memories of high school. I remember telling Abby that, and her appropriate response. "Wow, you really did grow up in a hick town." I laugh to myself.
"What's so funny?" Nick asks and rubs his thumb along the back of my hand.
I debate telling him, but then decide he'll think it's funny, too.
He doesn't though. "Who is she to judge?"
"Nick, she was kidding. Ian said things much worse than that our entire childhood."
"Yeah, but he grew up there. It was his right."
"Okay," I say, shaking my head. It's really not worth fighting about, but it seems like he obviously has an issue with Abby. But why? He doesn't even know her.
We continue on our journey for a few more minutes. Nick has obviously put a lot of thought into this. I wonder if he'd ask me to be his girlfriend? I can't even picture those words coming out of Nick's mouth. So how would he ask me? Does he want me to ask him?
Nick finally stops driving when we reach a small pond and parks his truck along the bank. We both step out and I look around. It is pure nighttime here. There is not a streetlight for as far as I can see--the only light is from the moon and it's reflection in the dark water of the pond.
"Nick, this is beautiful."
He doesn't respond but walks to the back of his truck, lowering the tailgate. I let him finish whatever he is doing while I walk toward the water. My first thought is that we should go skinny dipping, but then I remember that it's March in the Midwest. The water is probably thirty degrees.
"Okay, it's ready," Nick says from behind me.
When I turn around, my jaw drops. Nick has brought blankets and pillows. They are positioned in the back to look like a bed. Around the outside of the bed, he has strewn battery powered twinkle lights, providing just enough light to see each other and the food that he has laid out like a picnic.
"Wow, Nick."
"I know it's stupid. It's just all I could afford. I wish I could take you somewhere fancy or adventurous, but this is it. I know it's not as a fun as jumping out of a plane."
I didn't know that he knew about that. But if he's comparing himself to Evan, there will always be a clear winner.
I walk up to him and place my hands on his chest. "Nick, this is wonderful. Really, I couldn't imagine a better date."
He half-smiles and kisses my briefly. "The food is getting cold. Let's eat."
He helps me onto the bed of the truck before climbing up after me. He hands me a Styrofoam container which I recognize from the student center. He must have gotten some free food from work. When I open it, it's a hamburger--with everything but onion--and fries. My favorite.
We talk while we eat. I would think that after knowing each other for so long and then spending every moment together for the past two weeks, we would run out things to say, but we haven't.
I keep waiting for him to bring up how he feels, or ask me how I feel. With all the preparation that went into this evening, he must be planning on having the conversation. But he doesn't.
After we are both done with the doughnuts that Nick brought for dessert, he starts messing with his phone. I wonder if this was it. Is the date over now? Is he bringing me back to the dorms?
My heart starts beating out of my chest when I hear the song that he's playing on his phone. It's "I Can't Help Falling in Love With You." He climbs out of the truck and looks back at me. "Will you dance with me?"
I nod, un-expectantly fighting tears. This feels like a dream. He pulls me to him, and we dance exactly like we did at prom--although our attire is slightly different. My head is resting on his chest while he is holding me tightly, like he's afraid to let go.
"I will remember this for the rest of my life," I whisper and feel him kiss the top of my head. I close my eyes and get swept away by the moment—just the two of us, swaying along to the music, Nick's arms encircling me.
Now is the time. As the song is ending, I lean away slightly to look up into his face. I'm going to tell him how I feel.
Before I can speak though, he does. "I wanted to kiss you so bad after the last time we danced to this song."
"I thought you were going to, but then you backed away at the last second," I recall. That had hurt.
He leans down to bring his mouth to mine, taking his time. I part my lips, allowing room for his tongue, and when I finally taste it, it's sweet--a wonderful mix of Nick and sugar. The air is chilly, but his mouth is warm, and the way he is kissing me is making my entire body heat up. I try to pull him closer, but we couldn't be any closer--with our clothes on.
Nick must be reading my mind, because he raises me up in order for me to wrap my legs around him and carries me to truck. Our mouths have to part as I crawl across the blankets towards the pillows and wait for him to join me.
He sits next to me and grazes his hand under my shirt to the bare skin of my abdomen. "I know it's not warm, but I want to see you.'
"You'll keep me warm," I say as I unzip my hoodie and slide it down my arms. He starts raising my shirt as I do the same to him. He looks so lovely in the dim light encircling us. I take a moment to look at him as I reach behind me, unhooking my bra. I lie flat on my back and watch him, watching me. His eyes scan me like he's seeing me for the first time, and it makes me feel like he is.
"I don't have the words..." he says, licking his lips. "You are the angel to my demon."
I pull him down to me. "I think we can both a little demonic at times."
He laughs softly before bringing his mouth to my neck. When he reaches my chest, I feel him sucking my skin, trying to create a red spot. He's marking me like I've done to him with my love bites. The thought opens up a dam between my legs, and I instinctively push my thighs together.
He smiles and continues moving down until he reaches my nipples. "I thought you needed something to remind you of me."
Remind me? Won't he be around?
The thought vanishes as he begins lowering my pants down, and I do the same to him. Once we are both completely naked, Nick grabs a blanket and throws it across his back, trying to keep us as warm as possible.
As he enters me, it is again obvious how perfectly connected we are. He fits me like a glove and when he starts moving, I can feel it throughout my entire body.
I look at his eyes, and I see so much emotion there. I'm feeling the same way. Out of all the times we've had sex--fast or slow, rough or smooth--this is the first time it felt like we were making love. I think he feels it, too. There's something different this time in our movements and in our minds. We are in perfect harmony in every way.
"This is perfect, Nick."
"I wanted our last night to be memorable."
Last night? This is our last night? Should I have already known that? Once again, I read this entire situation wrong. I thought he planned this whole thing to confess his true feelings, but he planned it as a goodbye.
I feel the burn in my eyes before I feel the trail of warm tears running down the sides of my face. I throw my arm across my brow to hide them. As soon as I do, Nick stops moving. "Bailey? What's wrong? Are you okay?"
I nod, but I don't move my arm. I just want him to finish, so I can leave. But he won't move. "Bailey..."
"Why don't you want me, Nick?" I blurt out, my voice shaking because of the tears.