Please note that I ask a lot of questions throughout the review, you by no means have to answer them, they are simply to get you thinking more in-depth about your character. Profitez bien!
[I think that means enjoy, I ain't gonna google it because I want to believe I still have a little bit of French ability left.]
Fandom: KPOP related + K-Shows mix called We got a baby (We got married and Hello baby )
[ Got it. Thank you for the additional information you gave me to better understand K-POP, it certainly helped a lot.]
Full Name: Cho Min No
(His name means;
▶️ Cho, is a family name that means To build, manufacture
▶️ Min Means Quick, agile, clever
▶️No means Gather (his) strength. His name means; He, the one that builds his strength in a clever way)
Occupation: Singer as KPOP Idol in the band Hi8 (pronounced Hight) and a model.
Occupation (Further): Leader • Lead Dancer and Visual ( ▶️ Leader means that he is the one in charge of the band, he is the one that will mostly do talks between managers and/or the company and the members and he will be responsible of every mistakes they do. His role is mort that just that as he is like the "dad" of a family.
▶️ Lead dancer mean he is the dancer that is on the front when they do dance, it also means that he will also do some solo dances or difficult ones.
[ Front and centre, the dancer's dream. ]
▶️ Visual Means that he is the one that is the most handsome and beautiful or generally spoken the more eye-catching and the one that is used to represent the band in commercials and in the center of photoshoots (It doesn't means that other are less attractive than them, but that means that fans find them more eye-catching than other).
[ You seem to have his occupation down to the T. All well and good.]
Stage name: Gold'n (Golden)
Nicknames: Minnie • Appa Min (Appa is the Korean word for Dad ) • Fury (Just like Nick Fury, from Avengers/Marvel)
[ How'd this name come to be MinNo? ]
• King Min (Je gives gives himself the name, because he thing he is a kinda of a King, it's a way he use to refers to his narcissism) • Dance King • Golden Appa.
[ The nicknames are good, nice little explanation with 'King Min'.]
Age: 27 years old | Born January 12 | Birthplace is Goyang, South Korea (Not far from Seoul)
Gender: Masculine
Sexuality: Bisexual
Species: Human being
Nationality: Korean
Appearance: (I generally use a Face Claim to the appearance of my OCs, it makes it easier)
He have a Korean, or mostly Asian features. His eyes are almond-shaped and black. His hair can have different styles (because in KPop, every comeback brings a new hair style and, sometimes, a new hair colour as well, from black to rainbow).
[ You learn something new every day. I'd keep the bit about how MinNo's hair can differ depending on comebacks and what not, but perhaps add what his current hairstyle/colour is.]
He have a white skin colour. He is 172 cm and 63 kg, he got some muscles.
[ Nice healthy weight, good job. ]
As for his outfits, his casual clothes are mostly casual, with simple dark T-Shirt with a black jean, and he can add a jacket, navy blue or bleu jean. He sometimes can wear a cap, generally in the colour of the jacket and he sometimes wears glasses (He have a little difference between his two eyes, one can see 8/10 and the other 9,5/10).
[ Nice little detail.]
He also can wears sweaters with a single colour or with two or three colours, that he wears with a blue jean and, sometimes, with sunglasses and a watch. As a pyjamas, he prefers simple ones, grey or far blue with light beige. He got a panda onesie from his bandmates, that he wears occasionally. For hi job as an idol, stylists usually make him wear clothes that make him seems to be a bad boy.
[ Black leather jackets and white shirts galore.]
Face Claim: Park HyungSeok (A well known model and Ulzzang)
[ Good looking lad.]
Personality :
Minno is a quiet person, that take times to trust people he just meet nor even he is able be friend to people that he don't know as well, and he usually stay silent around them.
[ Just be cautious with the wording, it gets a bit funky towards the second half of the sentence, the 'nor even he is able be friend to people that he don't know as well' part. I think what you're trying to say is something like 'he takes time to trust people he's just met, as well as taking time to befriend people he doesn't know that well...' That's how I'm going to take the sentence anyway.
I've found over the years that the best way to catch those sorts of wording issues, is to read what you're writing aloud, or if you're not a massive fan of reading like me, just get a text-to-speech software to read it to you, then you can hear if the sentence sounds a little dodgy.
Moving on swiftly, how come it takes you longer to trust new people? Did something happen to cause you to become 'wary' {if you will} of people you don't know? ]
That's why people think he is cold or his a bad boy.
[ How do you feel about being portrayed as the 'bad boy'? ]
He also have a kinda of a supercilious or lofty, in addition to his narcissism, makes him seems to be a snooty man that is mean to everyone.
[ Ay, we love a little arrogance over in here. Where did his narcissism stem from?]
But that's totally false. Minno is, really, a person that is not easy to approach, but when one can do it, they will see the strict but really loving man he is (even if he will eat chilli pepper than to admit it, and he DISLIKE chilli pepper).
[ Why don't you want to admit it? ]
He is methodical and authoritarian, perhaps a little too much, but he justifies himself on the fact that he is the oldest and that he must take everything in hand and guide the youngest and make sure they avoid doing same mistakes that he used when he was their age. He is perseverant and stubborn, with a strong will that pushes him to always surpass himself and to exceed his limits. He also tries to push others to do the same and to surpass themselves, even if they are collapse from tiredness and have a lot of aches ( because of dance) or until their voice breaks or lose its voice (singing).
[ How do the other members feel about your idea of exceeding limits? What if a member were to get injured due to being pushed too much/hard? What would be the first thing to run through your mind be if that were to happen? ]
He is generally calm, but when one speaks badly to him or when one taunts him. There, he lets his explosive temperament express himself. And when he is angry he can be violent Jing words that hurt other people. If he knows that he not wrong, he will not apologize for anything hurtful he said, but if he was wrong, he will sincerely apologize for his behaviour and will try to be better. He is also very resentful and does not forgive easily, and does not believe one's promises, especially if they have broken one once.
[ How come you're so resentful? Where'd this start? ]
Virtues /Qualities: Loves to help other people •
[ When'd you realize this was something you loved to do? How does doing it make you feel? ]
Knows how to handle things and have some composure if needed • Can be very patient • try as best as possible to help the youngest and put them on the right path • Never change his mind (It might be both) • Have a high self-esteem (can be both, too)
[ See if you can pull these out more, adding about a sentence expanding on each of these a little more, might be beneficial to MinNo.
Think about how these things would help MinNo. How would keeping his composure and being patient help him in both his occupation and his life? How would these things alter managers opinions of him? Other than expanding in places the content is pretty good.]
Vices: Give too many orders • Doesn't give his point of view directly
[ Does this mean he's hard to please? I'd be tempted to add a little more, just to clarify what you mean with this vice. ]
• A bit narcissistic • Mingle with others' lifes, even if it doesn't concerns him • Never change his mind (It might be both) • Have a high self-esteem (cn be both, too)
[ You're right in saying they crossover, however, I'd go into how they are both virtues and vices.
Virtue example using his stubbornness, 'if he has his mind set on doing something he will commit 100% to get it done, no matter how much work it requires'.
Vice example using his high self-esteem, 'this can make him appear big headed, full of himself, snooty {like you've mentioned above}'.
Adding about a sentence to how these two things can act both as a virtue and vice, I feel would add a little more depth to MinNo. Also possibly, think about adding a vice to do with his resentfulness and unwillingness to give second chances to those who have broken promises. It's something to play around with. ]
Skills: Dance
[ How diverse is your dance training MinNo? How did your interest in dance start? ]
• Rapping (Kinda)
[ Why is rapping 'kinda' a skill for MinNo? If he's kinda good at rapping, perhaps you could add a sentence going on about how he's trying to improve his rapping skill. ]
• Bboying
[ Perhaps link this up with the dancing skill. Something like ' • Dance, his best and preferred form of dance is Bboying, it's earned him a lot of praise/attention from {idk some people}'. ]
• Writing (Such as song lyrics etc) • Giving advices (It's a must as a leader, he really needs to be able to help his members well) • Cooking
[ When'd you get into cooking? What inspired this skill? ]
• Visual (Being photogenic and beautiful)
[ I see photogenic as skill, I don't know if 'beautiful' is a skill. Maybe appearing beautiful is a skill? But that seems a bit far fetched, perhaps just stick to being photogenic. ]
Weaknesses: His family being hurt or is not proud of him
[ If these things were to happen, how would you feel? ]
• Loose (that is a really weakness, as he gave kinda of big self-esteem)
[ From what was said in PM's I think it might be better to call this weakness something like 'Sore loser' then go onto to explain it like you had to with me. 'When he wins he often becomes big headed and brags about his win, however when he loses he complains about the loss as being unfair {or something}. He's notoriously known within Hi8 as being a bad loser.'
That way, the meaning behind what you were trying to say seems a little clearer, it does to me anyway. It's pretty much what you messaged me, I just added a few extra words here and there because, well I'm extra.]
Strength: His familyand bandmates (they are his rock, so having them with him makes him feel like being invincible) • Being able to stay efectively thougtfull if needed
[ Perhaps to add another sentence, explaining this a little more. If you add what you messaged me about this sentence to the end of this one, that should do the job.]
• His self-esteem make him KNOW that if he want to do something, he will be able to do it, that nothing is impossible
[ Commit might be a better word, and perhaps remove self-esteem from the sentence, as deciding if he wants to do something and then being willing to go out and complete that something is gonna come from more than just his self-esteem.
There's a little idea of what I mean, 'Once he has his mind set on something, he's able to commit to that something, he believes nothing is impossible.' Take it or leave it. ]
Likes: Dancing • Sushis • Japanese ramens • Marvel and DC (and superheroes in général)
[ Believe it or not, but 'général' is French for general, mind blown right? I'm glad that GSCE in French is finally being used outside of ballet. ]
• His face • Mountain (over sea) • His brother • Children • Reading (he can read every genre, the only book he couldn't read is Les Misérables)
[ Perhaps for all of these add a sentence extending on why he likes each of thing {and why he can't read Les Mis.}
Perhaps change 'children' to 'well-mannered children' as just saying he likes children would encompass the disrespectful children which MinNo dislikes into his likes if you get what I mean. That would create a little contradiction, changing the 'children' would fix that. ]
Dislike: Chilli pepper (He really DISLIKE it) • Lies (even if it's white lies) • When someone is looking for troubles with him • Direspectfull children • When ones allow too much freedom to children • When children are techno-addicted.
[ Same with the likes, add a little sentence touching on why he dislikes these particular things.]
Fears: Being left alone
[ Why does this scare you MinNo? Are you scared of being forgotten? Where does this fear stem from? See if you can write a bit more about how this fear affects MinNo.]
• Loose the people he loves and cares the most about
[ It would be losing, not 'loose' in this context, don't worry I've been there and done that error many a time. If a loved one were to die, how would you react and deal with the loss of them MinNo? ]
• Insects (Phobia)
[ Drop the 's' at the end insects and the parentheses from around phobia, slip an 'o' in the middle of them, push it all together and you'll have 'Insectophobia' one of the many names for the fear of insects.
Try and expand a bit more on this fear, why is he scared of insects? Fear of being bitten? Fear of the diseases they may be carrying? Have a little gander at this link, it goes into a bit more depth on causes of insectophobia, may help you in having another look at this fear.
< https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-fear-of-insects-2671770 > ]
• Being a bad leader/Husband/Friend/brother/man.
[ What would be worse MinNo, being a bad man/human or a bad friend? What started this fear, where'd it come from? ]
Relationship with family :
• Cho Him Jung • Father • Alive (55 years old) • Manage a restaurant in Seoul, and in Busan (He lives in Seoul so he works in the one there)
▶️ he is close to his father, even if he used to keep a certain distance between them, because when he was still a child, his father was absent. Now, he will go to seek for advices from him. From his parents, his father is closer to him than his mother.
[ Unless it's meant to read as HimJung being closer to MinNo than he is to his mother, then sentence needs a little moving about. 'Out of both his parents, he {MinNo} is closer to his father.']
He is the one that will always support him whatever happens.
[ Give us a bit of an overview of his personality. As for the absence of his father just give us a little hint towards the time, perhaps the age of MinNo when his father wasn't around. For example 'From the ages 8 to 11, MinNo rarely saw his father due to ...'
How'd your father's absence make you feel MinNo? Did his absence cause anything to make you into the person you are today? Did you pick up anything from your father? Hey, wait did you mention that cooking was a skill for you? Your father manages a restaurant, do I see a link between these two things? How did your father take to your fame? ]
• Kim Soo Ha • Mother • Alive (49 years old) • Helps her husband in his restaurants
▶️ Him and his mom doesn't stick well together, even if they do love each other a lot. She is too protective and sticky towards him,
[ Clingy, might be a better word than 'sticky'. ]
as she is always worried about him. She wanted him to have a normal life, with a simple job, a wife and children, but she finally accepted that he will never change his mind and that he will never have a "normal life". But she is still not over the fact that he is bisexual.
[ Like with MinNo's father, give something that he's pickup up from his mother, but other than that she's looking sound. Maybe write more about how he came out and told her about his sexuality, that seems like an interesting point to expand on. ]
Cho Dal Ah • Little sister • Alive (25 years old) • Manage [ Manager ? ] and is the accounter [ Accountant ? ] of her parents' restaurant in Busan
▶️ She is his little sister, his "twin" and his "Best playmate of all the world" as he called her this when he was a child, bit he still use this sometimes. Since childhood, they were always together, playing or just doing some pranks, and now, they are the best friends of each other. Wherever he have a problem or need something, he go to her. She is one of the rare people that actually can kick his a** and call him a dumb or monkey if he act with irrationality, or if he need a kicking for being able to think properly.
[ Give us a little on her personality, perhaps what she thinks of his fame and a unique interaction or two, but other than that their relationship is fine. ]
Cho Min Sung • Little brother • Alive (19 years old) • A KPop Idol in his band (Hi8) • He is the little child of the family, the one that all the oldest want to protect. They are close with each other, and his Hyung (Big brother in Korean) was the first one to support him when he decided to be an idol. He helped him and protected him from all people that wanted to hurt him. Their relationship is not perfect, as both of them are of a strong personality type. The cannot stay 45 hours without got an argument, about a small thing, but it's generally because of MinNo that is over orderings and want his brother to listen and obey him, even if the subject don't even concerns him. Otherwise, they do have some fun together, more like MinSung pranking his big brother, and even if he will be angry, he will laugh about it after, and when he is alone (because it will embarrassing).
[ Lovely, maybe just give us a little overview of his personality. ]
Relationship with friend :
Kim Nam Joon • BTS member and leader
▶️ Both are close since their trainee period, as Namjoon used to live in the house that is in front of MinNo's parents' restaurant. And their parents became close, so both of them became close too. Both of them wanted to become Idols, so they helped each other and their parents supported them and themselves.
[ For people like me, who may have no or limited knowledge of BTS's NamJoon, give us a little overview of his personality, it'll help to get the gist of how the pair would interact on a daily basis. Seeing as he's a real person and seems to be quiet popular, you can almost grantee that someone has done a personality analysis or something of the sort on him. That's all the hard work done for you, all you've got to do is write it in your words and that's his personality overview done easy.
Think about expanding on their friendship, how are they close? They both want to be Idols, maybe there was a little bit of friendly competitiveness to push them both towards leadership in their respective bands. Perhaps you could write more about this, think about any other unique interactions that the pair might have had.
Writing about their first interaction is always a good place to start if you're struggling. Maybe about that moment when you just look at your friend and you know what your best/real friend, that realisation. Hopefully, you get the idea of what I mean, I had some fancy words to use to help me more accurately describe what I mean but they seemed to have slipped into the abyss of my mind.... Mood.
If you're really, really struggling look to someone you are close to in your life, draw inspiration from that relationship to help inform NamJoon's and MinNo's.]
(Trainee period, is a period of time where a trainee in an entertainment will get trained in Dancing, singing and all what they need to become Idols. It's a tough time and it might or might not be long (BAP's Daehyun was only trained for 6 months, while EXO's Suho was a trainee for about 6/7 years before debuting. Sometimes, it longer if the trainee is too young. )
[ Suppose it comes down to prior experience and ability as being other factors for the training length. ]
Shin Min Ah • Bandmate and ex-girlfriend
▶️ Both of them meet as trainee and became friends. Their friendship evolved and they start dating, but they quickly breakup as both discovered that their feelings towards each other is just a deep fraternal affection.
[ Do a little overview of her personality and how they are close, many of the things I said about NamJoon would also apply to MinAh. Perhaps talk about how they were when they were in a romantic relationship. How did MinNo feel about the discovery of his true feeling for her and the break-up? ]
Plus, she felt in love with a boy, that worked as a waiter.
[ Did this hurt MinNo? How'd he feel when he found out about her interest in the waiter? With his deep brotherly love for her, I'd imagine he would be a touch protective over her and perhaps a little too involved in her dating life. Hell, I know if my sister fell in love, I'd be on the case, trying to make sure this person she'd fallen for was decent. ]
Nowadays, they are in the same band and if MinNo is the dad, she is the Mom of the band. They are really close and they can stay alone in a room without the other thinking about them having some affairs together, as she is now married to the boy she was in love with.
[ I would hope that they ain't fooling around behind Mr Waiter's back. Honestly don't think we need the last sentence, just saying they broke up because they discovered they loved each other like siblings is pretty much all you need for that.
However, we can try and twist a few of things mentioned in the last sentence into unique interactions. Yay!
Due to their close relationship perhaps for MinAh's wedding, MinNo took it upon himself to write a song dedicated to the bride and groom's new life together. That could be fun and could display his songwriting ability quite nicely if I do say so myself.
Or idea number two, despite their past relationship not lasting very long { and for MinAh being married } some fans still cling onto the hopes that they will get back together, MinNo and MinAh get sent the occasional {their ship name} fanart/fanfiction. Maybe look at the first time that happened, how they both reacted to it. I'm sure you could have fun with that one. ]
Backstory story :
MinNo is born in Goyang, and is the 1st son and child of Cho Him Jung and Kim Soo Ah. During his childhood, his life wasn't good, as his mom was working as a waitress in a coffee shop and his dad was jobless, as it was difficult to find a job for a man that goes to the prison for a robbery where the robber nearly killed the ma he has stolen from (even if he was cleared from charges as police found the real criminal.
[ How did your poor life as child affect the man that you've become MinNo? What do you think your life would look like if your father was never wrongly arrested?
Maybe give us a few ages, for example, 'His father was wrongly charged for {whatever} when MinNo was 8, his father was finally proven innocent, having all the charges cleared when MinNo was 11'.]
But despite that, he wasn't sad or abused. His parents were lovely and they tried all they could to give their children whatever they needed.
Since a child, he take care of his little sister and, later on his little brother. He became independent and mature soon. During his preteen period, his family financial situation became better after they moved to Busan, to Busan, so that they will be able to open their own restaurant. As they did.
[ Like I mentioned somewhere above, perhaps you could link the opening of his father's restaurant to his skill in cooking. ]
During this period of his life, he decided what he will do when he will grow up, and he decided to become an Idol and also a good person.
[ What inspired this? This is a big life choice for MinNo, and those deserve a reason. Also, give the age when he decided what he wanted to do with his life. If being an idol didn't work out MinNo, what would the backup plan for you be? Did you have one? ]
And he worked hard to achieve his goals.
[ What were some of the things he did to try and achieve his goal at this point in time? ]
His parents were not 100% okay with it, especially his mother, his father worried about if he couldn't do it, will he be able to accept it. His mom finally gives in, after months of talking and fusing about it and his son saying that he will do it with or without her agreement, and if she disagree, he will walk out of her life if she want.
[ For someone who wants to be a good person, that doesn't seem like the best thing to be doing, eh but no one's perfect and he's only a wee' lad at this point, he's still a learning boy.
Did you consider how saying those things would have hurt your protective mother? ]
She only gives him three conditions; To take care of his health, to call them often and to be happy too.
[ This reminds me of the Japanese Geisha girls, the whole training to be an idol, moving away from family and all. Youtube auto-play led me to a BBC documentary about a 15-year-old who leaves home to train as a Geisha, her mother if I remember correctly had pretty much the same conditions as MinNo's mother, that shows.... Something? I've lost my train of thought. ]
When he became an Idol and after gaining some money,
[ How'd old were you when you debuted? How did you feel? Don't just say happy, that's lazy. ]
he buy a second coffee [shop?] for his parents, so that they will be close to him. The one in Busan is ruled by his sister.
[ Seems to end quite abruptly, maybe mention something about him getting invited onto 'We Got A Baby' unless of course that's covered in your story. ]
Facts ;
• He is a huge fan of Marvel and DC. His favourite characters are Loki, Iron Man, Dr. Strange, Spiderman, Quicksilver, Wolverine and Hulk. He have many goodies from them and even name his cat Loki.
[ As much as I hate saying this, you should probably add one or two DC characters into the mix. For someone who's meant to be a fan of both franchises he has no links {if you will} to liking DC. ]
• He usually works a lot, in 5 days of a week, he can dance or sing for more than 6 hours. Sometimes even a lot more than that.
• When he is not training, he is either cooking and eating, or is seeing if the memebers fullfil their works and is arranging the schedules. Or he is sleeping.
• When he is in a store, he don't know how to speak. So he dont speak at all. He just go and buy or just speak with Yes/No/Hm/Maybe etc. He is always shy in stores, since he is [ was? ] a child.
[ How come? Does something make you uncomfortable about being in them?]
• One time, when he was a teen, a friend invited him to watch a movie. It was an X movie (doing the hum-hum things and all). He didn't watched it, not all, and was deeply shocked by it. His sister made fun of him when she heard about it because he told her and he said that they did "not human things". (He was 12/13 years old)
[ Take this out of the facts and drop in into his sister's relationship section, that's one unique interaction done. ]
• He is a fan of mangas and Japanese culture. And for him, the best honeymoon is the archipelago of Ogasawara and especially Muko-Jima.
• His teammates designers [ Designate ?] him as ; The most strict one - The one that scold them the most - The one that eats the most - The one that will be able to sleep and not wake up even if there is a nuclear bombs not far away - The most reliable and the one that keeps secrets the best - The most curious one (as he always is nagging about what Did they do, where did they go, what did they eat and all) - The one that don't know how to flirt and don't know where someone is flirting with him. - The one that makes them work the most.
[ It might just be me but I reckon either 'The Strict One' or 'The Strictest One' would sound a little better. In addition, if you wanted to get 'the one that keeps secrets the best' into one word, that word could be 'trustworthy'. ]
• one of his biggest dream, after others is to have his own clothing store and brand.
(+)
Spouse; Kim Min Seok • Masculin • EXO member.
Some facts about them both :
- Both are the oldest members in their bands.
- Both their names have Min.
- Both are great dancers.
- Both have a big family sens. [ families?]
Children they will take care of :
Dae Kwang • 1 year old born February, 23rd • Masculine
He is: • Jester • Hyperactive • Cuddly • Talkative (R in his case try to talk a lot, he is still young to be able to talk fully) • inexhaustible
Da Mi • 4 years old born April, 1st • Feminine
She is: False calm • Shy • Jealous and possessive • Smiling / Happy • Clever • a bit of a Leader
I didn't go further in the (+) because it might got spoilers, so for readers, that what they will have in first. Then, they will have more in the story.
[ The (+) don't seem to have any major problems with them, so I'm gonna leave them alone. ]
Now let's get down to business...
Pros
· MinNo's basic info and information about his occupation are good.
· Appearance is also good.
· The personality is pretty good, could be pulled out a little more, but pretty good nonetheless.
· Virtues all the way down to his dislikes, the content we've got is mostly fine.
· Good start to the relationships, they've each got something interesting to them.
· Although the backstory lacks some ages and hints to where we are time wise as well as few reasons here and there, the content seems to make sense.
Cons
· Lovely appearance... with no hair.
· Thinking about a few 'whys?' to his personality would help give him another level.
. The virtues, vices, skills, weaknesses, and strengths although not bad, can be made into something more.
. The fear choices seem fine, they just need expanding on.
. Relationships need a little touch-up, overviews of personalities and unique interactions are the main things.
. Backstory just needs the age of MinNo when certain things happened to him, e.g father's arrest and so on. Also, the inspiration behind his big life decision to become an idol wouldn't go amiss.
Possible Improvements/Changes...
In his appearance, just tell us what his hair is like, it's as simple as that really. I definitely think you should keep the little bit about his hair always changing because of work, it might lead you to an opening where you can talk about MinNo's favourite past hairstyle.
===
Honestly, the personality ain't half bad, there are just parts that I feel you could add more on. Things like why it takes MinNo longer to trust new people, his feelings on how he's portrayed within Hi8, why he doesn't want to admit that he's a loving man. You'll find more suggestions on things you could add more to, in his personality section of the review, in the form of questions addressed to MinNo himself.
===
For virtues, vices, skills, weaknesses, and strengths, what you've got is good, but much like his personality, we can draw them out more. Similarly, you'll find questions galore through these five sections, hopefully, they'll get you thinking about how the things you've given MinNo would affect/help him and as well as thinking about others perception of him.
===
Good choice of fears, but definitely need expanding on. Think about how each fear affects MinNo, why they are fears for him when they first appeared in his life. It's always good to think about how the character would react if their fears were to come into their reality, how they would feel.
===
His relationships are just lacking personalities and unique interactions really. Just give each character that has a relationship with MinNo a little overview of their personality, that alone would help give us an idea of how the pair would interact.
For example, if you say MinNo knew Alex whose overview mentioned they were prone to lying, it would be safe to assume that MinNo wouldn't like Alex very much, due to MinNo's dislike to lies.
Without saying these two characters don't like each other, we can assume they ain't gonna be the best of friends just by looking at their personalities. Hopefully, you get what I'm saying.
Moving on, in the actual review I've asked questions that could help you expand on certain things, much as MinNo's feelings to his father's absence, how people took MinNo's fame. I've also left a few ideas to possible unique interactions you could expand on for a few of the characters.
===
MinNo's friendships seem a bit flat, more like pure history rather than actually looking at their relationship. The first step to improving this would be to give an overview of their personality and look at their unique interactions like with the family relations if you look at the comments made during the review you'll find a couple of suggestions for some interactions based on what you've given me.
See if this link can offer any more help when it comes to writing friendships.
< https://www.nownovel.com/blog/writing-about-relationships-how-to-make-them-real/>
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The main thing with the backstory is that his idea to become an idol seems to have just come out of nowhere, surely there is some hidden inspiration to that idea somewhere. It's definitely worth writing about MinNo's inspirations to become an idol.
The other thing would be to add some hint to MinNo's age at certain points in the backstory, for example, his age when his father was arrested, his age when he decided he wanted to be an idol, while on that topic, it might be worth writing about the things MinNo did to try and pursue his dream prior to getting his mother's approval.
[These are just suggestions, you by no means have to do any of these.]
Mary Sue?
No.
Marks & Grades
Originality - 7
Overall Grade - C
'Not a 'yes sir', not a follower. Fit the box, fit the mold. Have a seat in the foyer, take a number. I was lightning before the thunder.'
– Imagine Dragons, Thunder.
[Thank you to BangNaYung for submitting the Gold'n Dance King, it's been a pleasure reviewing him!]
[If you have any questions or queries about this review or require any help with this or any future OC just drop me a message, I'd be happy to help any way I can.]
×Isaac×