" hold on till may"
A S H T O N : "She sits up high, surrounded by the sun. One million branches and she lvoes everyone. "Mom and dad, did you search for me? I've been up here for so long, I'm going crazy""
Nobody cares, so why am I still here? You thought as you looked down from the roof of the building. Not even my parents care. You let out a shaky breath. I've up here for two hours. You gripped tighter to the edge of the roof. They haven't notice that I'm not there. You sigh, moving a little further to the edge. It's 5pm, why aren't they worried? Your wondered. Not even Ashton cares. A tear rolled down your cheek. He hasn't called. You looked to your right, where your phone lied, with a black screen. He's not going to call. You moved a little further to the edge of the roof, swimming your feet back and forth. Nobody cares, so why am I still here? That was your last thought, ever. You were now lying on the cold, hard, pavement. Just as this happened, a happy Ashton came out of his car, holding a bouquet of red roses and a big Teddy bear, and a buldge in his back pocket. If he knew what had happened, he wouldn't be happy. Your parents didn't know either. Just as you took your last breathe, they started to look for you. Finding you lifeless, not giving a simple heartbeat, in the backyard of your building- that killed them inside. "Why'd she do something like that?" Your mom cried, your dad and Ashton were behind her, sat on the floor. "I- I don't know sweetheart." Your dad said, thinking of what he did wrong. Ashton was a little too lost on his own tears to listen to what they were saying. "I was going to propose today..." He took a little black box from his back pocket. Your parents were even more devastated. You'd be happy by now, but you just couldn't hold on...
C A L U M : "I heard the train shake the windows, you screamed over the sound."
Everything's fine, just smile. You thought as you knocked on Calum's front door, you were greeted by his mom who told you he was up in his room. Just smile, he won't notice. You knocked on his door, and he opened with a big and bright smile. He gave you one of those hugs that could take away every drop of pain out of your body, but not today. Then, he placed a soft kiss in your forehead, like he was trying to make you forget all your problems, but you couldn't. He took your hand and walked over his bed with you. A frown took place on his face when he saw your eyes. He noticed. You took your eyes off of him, placing them on the floor. Every ounce of pain. You erased your smile. Every ounce of sorrow. Your eyes started to water. Every ounce of shame. You bit your lip, trying not to sob. Every ounce of emptiness. A tear fell from your left eye. Every ounce of 'I'm-sorry'. You held back your tears and sobs. Every ounce of 'help-me'. And you said. Every ounce of 'nothing's-fine'. "I want to end it all soon." His eyes were now filled with horror, sadness and pain. He hugged you tightly, hidding his face in the crook of your neck, "Please don't, I love you and I care way too much about you to let you do it." Every ounce of pain. He sobbed. Every ounce of sorrow. You felt your neck getting wet with his tears. Every ounce of shame. You patted his back slightly. Every ounce of emptiness. You rubbed his back. Every ounce of 'I'm-sorry'. You ran your fingers through his hair. Every ounce of 'help-me'. You brought him closer to you. Every ounce of 'nothing's fine'. You allowed yourself to cry. Everything was gone. "Please," because you found someone who cared. "I care," you found someone who loved you. "I love you." Youn found someone. "Please." You just did.
L U K E : "If I were you, I'd put that away. See you're just wasted and thinking about the past again. Darling you'll be okay."
You can either be your best friend or your wrost enemy. Those words from your old neighbor were stuck in your head, the thing is, you were none of those. You were just useless, that's what you thought that's what everyone made you think. The cold edge of the gun that your family had at home, was now pressed against your temple. Your room was about to witness your death, and your blood would be scattered on your floor. Death was something you were afraid of, but it was what you craved the most at the same time. You were about to pull the trigger, but something made you not to. Suicide it's what most of the angsty teenagers would call escape. His deep voice gave you chills. But it's not. You recalled listening carefully to what that guy from this special service against suicide was saying. You can go and talk to someone. You let out a shaky breathe. You can ask for help, it's valid. You shut your eyes. Suicide will never, ever, be the right answer. Tears rolled down your cheeks. If there is a suicidal girl, or boy, I want to tell you something... You pressed harded the gun to your head. If you're going to self harm when you get home, if you're planning to kill yourself. You started to cry even harder. If you have the razor against your skin, the rope tied, if you loaded the gun... You were about to pull the trigger, again. If I were you, I'd put that away. You opened your eyes, looking down at your floor. You're thinking about the past, you're thinking about those persons that call you names that aren't truth. A sob escaped from your lips. I'm not going to tell you that you're perfect, because you're not. You screamed, hoping your neighbors wouldn't hear you. I'm here to tell you that you need help, because it does get better. You started to take the gun away from you. You'll be okay, I promise you. The gun was now lying on the ground, and you were crying your eyes out, dialing your mom's number."Hello?" My name is Luke Hemmings, and I swear on my life, that everything will be alright.
M I C H A E L : "If you were me, you'd do the same, 'cause I can't take anymore, I'll draw the shades and close the door. I'm not alright, and I would rather..."
The new kid at school stood there with his green eyes glued on you. Wrong bathroom, wrong timing, wrong everything. His face was paler than usual, you thought since you saw him just two times before. "Wha- why?" He asked you. You were ashamed, the skin in your right wrist, the skin that covered your veins, was open- intentionally open. The razor lied in your leg, the edge covered in blood; the blood that was coming out of your wrist. "Why would you do this to yourself? Such a bad and horrible thing to a beautiful person?" You shook your head. "You don't get it," "Maybe, if you explained to me..." You started crying, "No! Because you don't care, you just want to be nice." He let out a dark chuckle, "Dude, do you think that if I didn't care I'd be here, talking to you, when I could be peeing?" You wanted to smile, but you couldn't, because you were sad and angry, and he was as serious as the principal was every morning. You noticed he said 'dude', that was new, since you were the only one that used that word where you studied. "I-..." You couldn't speak. "If you were me, you'd do the same," You mumbled. "My life is hard: I do everything wrong, I'm stupid, useless, fat, ugly, and I could say more things but they aren't what you'd call 'lady-like'" The words came out of your mouth fluently, it was like you were holding those words for years, and now you let them out. "I like to hurt myself, because this is the only feeling that I like- the pain that it gives me. It makes me feel alive, even though it's actually my attempt killing myself." He walked into the cubicle and kneeled down beside you, taking your wrist carefully and looking into your eyes, he said, "You could do better things to make you feel alive. You don't have to kill yourself to stop feeling pain." He sighed. "First of all, you need professional help; and no, I'm not calling you crazy nor insane," He said when he saw you getting kind of offended and hurt, "then, you need to do some activities- I heard the teachers say you like to draw, so you have something there." He dried the tears off your face with his thumbs. "Everything has a solution- a better one than suicide or self-harm."