My ceiling looked so bland from here. I wondered why it had to be the color white. Like an empty canvas, it was plain, simple, and boring. It was all just an empty blob. It made me feel empty.
It's been a week. A week since the fight, since I've seen her, and a week since I've actually been at school.
After my panic attack at school, my counselor highly advised that I take a few days off to myself then, return back. But, the thing is, he said a few days, not the whole week. I'm already recovered from my panic attack, I was actually well the very next day but, I couldn't go back. I couldn't face Yu-jin.
I felt at fault for why she was upset with me and guilty that this would be the cause of the fall in our relationship. During the whole week alone at home, I didn't get a single message from her.
That Killed me.
How was I supposed to go back to school knowing that she didn't really care about what happened to me after the fight? Were we still together? Did she break up with me and not tell me? Has she moved on already? Is she with Jimin now?
Does she not love me anymore?
I turned to my side, facing the wall of my bedroom. My chest ached with pain and my stomach churned at all these unanswered questions. I had to go back whether I liked it or not.
So, I got up and started to get ready. I checked my phone to see if I had any new notifications. But once again, my heart dropped seeing my screen empty. And like that, my hope was gone.
-
Walking through the gates of school was like walking through the gates of hell. I regretted it.
I walked all the way to my locker and began getting my books ready for my upcoming classes. I was overcome with a wave of nostalgia when I heard an all too familiar giggle not too far from me. I froze in my spot and didn't dare look over. I could already see them in the corner of my eye walking towards my direction. My heartbeat increased as I began to panic at the thought of seeing her.
"Y/N!! You're back!" I cursed under my breath and turned to see Sorn behind me with a wide grin.
Yu-Jin's smile faltered as she stood dead in her tracks next to Jimin. I avoided her gaze and looked up at Sorn to say hi. I let myself turn to look at Yujin.
My chest felt like it had been fired at a thousand times, that's how much it hurt. I regretted it, even more, when I let my eyes wander down her arm to see that her hand was interlocked with Jimin's. I met her eyes again feeling nothing but pain.
So... she really did move on...
And, she didn't even have the nerve to tell me we were done. She met my eyes. They looked sad and hollow looking at me as if she was trying to tell me something. That small hope was there again, in the back of my head. But, she made her choice.
What a shitty move don't ya think?
Not, tell someone that your relationship is over by simply dating someone else. A very very shitty and shallow thing to do.
I turned away from them and slammed my locker shut while taking ahold of Sorn's arm dragging her to our next class.
-
I willed myself not to cry. I felt stupid for wanting to in the first place.
I wanted to cry because of how quickly she replaced me, was I really that bad to her?
I treated her like a queen and sure we had our arguments here and there but, we always resolved them in the end and forgave each other.
I felt weak in front of everyone, what made everything worse was that we shared almost every class together. I couldn't handle it, I know it sounds cheesy but, my heart couldn't handle all of this.
I walked up to the teacher's desk and politely asked if I could be excused to the restroom. My voice cracked in the middle which gave the teacher the warning sign of why I needed to leave. She frowned at me and let me take the pass.
I sniffed and left the room in a hurry as I let my tears silently slide down my cheeks. I locked myself in the huge stall at the end and hugged my knees tightly to my chest.
It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. It wasn't.
But why did it?
Why did it hurt so much?
I calmed my cries into a somewhat suppressed sobs. I starred at the stall door for what seemed like hours until I heard the entrance to the bathroom open. I stayed in my spot thinking it was just another student going to use the toilet. My eyes narrowed in question when I saw the shoes of the owners stop right in front of my stall.
Here's the thing. I know those pairs of shoes. I know them from the back of my hand. They were pink and had a green bow on top of them. I told her not to get them because it was such an awful color combination and style but, she wanted them so badly. So, I bought them for her birthday. She was completely ecstatic afterward and would not stop wearing them no matter if it was cold and raining.
I remember asking her why she wanted them so badly. And all she said was that if she didn't get them, how would she know if I truly loved her, her and all of her weirdness? I told her that a pair of shoes would never stop me from loving her.
I bought these shoes for Yu-jin.
"Y/n, I know you're in there. Can you please open up?" She asked quietly.
I didn't say anything.
"Y/n, please. Just open the door." She demanded while shaking the door to try and get it open.
I stayed quiet.
I heard her sigh on the other side and watched her footsteps walk away, assuming she gave up. I closed my eyes thinking this torture was finally over, only to jump in my spot when I heard a loud grunt above my head.
I looked up wide-eyed to see Yu-jin climbing over the stall, head first. Big mistake.
She began to lose her balance and yelped when her whole body slipped into my stall. I reached out for her and caught her upper body while her legs slammed against the floor. She whined in pain from the impact of her feet and I sat her down on the toilet cover.
"Are you fucking crazy?! You could've just left and you would've been fine now you're all hurt. Let me see that damn foot." I yelled out then quietly stated the last part.
She lifted her foot up to me and winced when I took off her shoe. I examined her foot gently and saw that it started to swell around her ankle in a bright red color.
"I think you might've sprained i-" I stopped talking when I looked up to already see her looking at me.
I gulped and stuttered over my words.
"u-uh y-ya let's go t-to the nurse."
God, I really hate her effect on me.
I rose to my feet, turning towards the door to open it but she grabbed my arm stopping me. She forced me to face her and when I looked down at her I froze once again.
I pulled my arm away from her, waiting for her to say something but, it seemed like she was caught up in her own thoughts as well. She looked down, hesitating.
I got impatient and rolled my eyes, "What is it Yu-jin?"
She looked up at me surprised and continued to stare at me, lost for words.
"Did you just come here to officially break up with me? let me down easy? tell me how you've moved on already? Say your sorry?" I felt a weight being lifted off my chest with each question.
She shook her head no and looked up at me with tears in her eyes.
"No no no y/n no, I came here to apologize and I didn't before because I was scared, ok? I was scared that after your panic attack you'd hate me. I saw you and I held you and it felt like I was gonna lose you and that it was all my fault." She rambled, barely making any sense.
So, that wasn't in my head after all? She really did go check on me?
"Why didn't you call me?! Text me? I didn't hear a single damn thing from you for the whole week, where the hell were you when I needed you the most?" I felt a tear slip down my cheek but I quickly wiped it away not wanting to look weak in front of her.
She looked up at me guilty, "I don't know ok, plus I was still pissed at you for what you did to Jimin."
I scoffed at her and looked away, "You would do the same if an asshole like him said the same shit to you as he did to me."
"What did he tell you?" She narrowed her eyes at me, leaning forward.
Shit.
"N-nevermind. It doesn't matter anymore, you chose him."
"I didn't chose him I chose you, dipshit. He's my best friend and you're my girlfriend for god's sake. I felt guilty for not trying to reach out to you, ok? and I thought you would hate me and ignore me if I even tried..." Her voice cracked at the end before she began to full on cry in front of me.
I felt a pang in my heart seeing her cry, I guess I really can't blame her then. I know how it feels to be prevented into doing something because of guilt. That's why I couldn't face her and why she couldn't talk to me.
"Just tell me what he told you already." She asked in a whisper, avoiding my eyes.
I hesitated and leaned against the wall.
"He said that he didn't care if I was your girlfriend. He said that he'd have you in the end. That's why I got mad when he was all up on you..."
She looked at me unbelieving and started shaking her head.
"No no, why would he do that?"
"To be with you obviously."She gave me a look that said 'shut the fuck up' and I quickly coward away.
She groaned and facepalmed herself.
"I'm such an idiot..." She muttered to herself.
I walked over to her and bent down on my knees so that I'd be in front of her face. I gently removed her hand from her face and placed mine over her cheeks instead. She continued to frown as the tears flowed freely down her face. She held onto my hand that was over her cheek and let out a sob, this made me reach up to her and pull her into a hug. I wrapped my arms around her back and gently stroked her hair while she shook in my arms.
"I did this to you. I-I did this to us," She sounded so ashamed of herself but I hushed her and whispered that it was okay.
She pulled away from me with puffy red eyes, "No y/n, it's not okay. I assumed that you were just being jealous and I didn't even care to actually listen to your side of the story. I didn't even check on you to see if you were okay. I'm a terrible girlfriend y/n, don't you see?" I frowned and held onto her.
"Yuji, you're not a terrible girlfriend. We all make mistakes it's normal. And I forgive you ok, none of this was even your fault so stop blaming everything on yourself, please. I love you so much and I hate seeing you beat yourself up over this, so can we please just go back to normal, without him of course." She giggled at the last part and nodded at my request.
She sniffed and looked up at me, "Can I have a kiss now?"
"You know I've been dying for one this whole week but, you know it's just kinda gross to do it in the school bathroom." We both laughed and I offered her my hand so she could stand up.
She took it and stood up, hobbling on one foot. I opened the stall and put my back in front of her, bending my knees. She understood what I was implying and wrapped her arms around my neck while jumping on my back. I readjusted my grip on the back of her thighs and left the restroom.
On our way to the nurse, I felt her bury her head into my neck and hold onto me tighter as if I would disappear any second. I let out a sigh and rubbed my head gently against the side of hers, kissing it softly.
Once we made it in there, she didn't want me to leave so I stayed with her until she was all rested.
-
The end of the day came and the nurse lent her a pair of crutches for her sprained ankle. We began walking out of school when we both heard someone calling Yu-jin's name.
I tensed up and glared at the person who was calling her, Jimin. I stood in front of Yu-jin protectively.
"What are you doing here?" He asked with disgust.
"She's here for me." I glanced at Yu-jin surprised, she simply smiled at me.
"You can't be serious Yuji, she attacked me remember?" He scoffed.
I gagged on the inside when he called her by her nickname.
"Yeah but you threatened her, you threatened her that you would easily take me and claim me as yours as if I was an object. Jimin you're supposed to be my friend, you're supposed to support me and here you are trying to jeopardize my relationship to benefit yours?"
"She will never know how to treat you Choi Yu-jin. It's not right to be in a relationship with a girl, let me help you, let me show you how a man is supposed to treat." He spoke up while walking closer to us.
"So, You admit it? What the fuck Jimin? You're crazy to think that I would tolerate this amount of disrespect for my relationship and who I chose to love. If you think that then, you don't deserve a spot to be in my life." His face faltered at this and he looked truly defeated.
Yu-jin began walking away-well-hobbling away, on her crutches while I followed after her. He didn't follow us after that. I drove her to her apartment where she invited me in and we stayed the rest of the night cuddled up to each other like we haven't seen each other in ten years.
I'm glad she chose me.
-
A/B: I hope that was a decent enough ending :p welp I hope y'all enjoyed and pls make some requests don't be shy to either UwU