Ryan turned into the kindergarten parking lot entrance. He was a couple of minutes early, and when he looked around and saw a parking spot open next to a beat up purple mini van, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he pulled in next to it.
On the seat next to him, one of Ryan’s notebooks was there with a pen in case he got any spur of the moment inspiration, and he briefly contemplated ripping a page out and writing a little note to leave on the bright purple mini van before he stopped himself, blushing furiously even though no one else was there. He opened the car door and slid out, glancing at the front of the windshield where a note could be perfectly placed under the slightly bent windshield wiper before rounding the car, brushing up against the mini van’s various bumper stickers before heading towards the school entrance.
There were only a couple of more minutes left before kindergarten let out and the front entrance of the school was full of gossiping parents, mostly mothers dressed in bright colors, crisp capri pants, and frosted hair. As he walked closer, Ryan could see a couple of the middle-aged women look him up and down. He ducked his head, hair flipping in front of his eyes, and he hid his smirk. They weren’t really his type.
“Are you here to pick up your child?” one of the mothers asked him, and some sort of righteous anger mixed with confusion welled up within him. What was it about him that made people think that he had a five year old child? Plus, the way that the woman asked it, so seemingly sweet but with an undercurrent of superior disapproval, made Ryan remember why he hated picking his sister up. Soccer moms.
“Sister,” Ryan tersely answered before slipping through the crowd of women to lean up against the hard brick wall of the school, an unrelenting white windowsill digging into his shoulder. He ignored the chatter of the women behind him and peered over, a bright flash of color catching his eyes, looking into the classroom.
The school district wasn’t that large. There were only three morning kindergarten classes, but it just so happened that the classroom that Ryan mistakenly peered into had exactly what he was looking for. The flash of color that caught his eye was the bright red of the teacher’s glasses. They weren’t that big, it was just a little splash of color really, but it wasn’t surprising that those glasses caught his attention. Especially when the eyes behind those glasses flicked up and caught his own, and when Ryan’s line of vision swept down, he could see pillowy lips quirking up in a smile.
Ryan slyly smiled back, biting his bottom lip before pushing himself off the wall as a loud bell rang, signaling the end of classes. Behind him, Ryan could hear the excited squeal of the kindergarteners and the loud stomping of running feet. Above it all, he could just make out the clear, soothing voice of the teacher telling them all to have a good weekend.
Only moments later, a crowd of children burst through the front door, and Ryan looked around for his sister, hoping that maybe she decided to stay behind - - maybe to help the teacher clean up so that Ryan would have to go in and find her. Just then, however, a tiny ball of energy crashed against him, hugging him around the waist.
“Ryan!” his sister yelled, her voice muffled against the soft cotton of his shirt. “Ryan, today we learned about amphibians. Did you know that a frog is an amphibian? They start out as tadpoles - - little wriggly worms, but then they grow legs. It’s so cool. Mr. Urie shows us a movie about Frederick the Frog. Can we get a frog?”
Nicole took a deep stuttering breath, body still thrumming with excitement. “Wow, that’s awesome, munchkin,” Ryan humored her. “And you’ll have to talk to dad about a frog.” Ryan took the piece of paper from his sister’s hand, telling the parents what they studied that day and what they should go over for homework. He smiled at the bright pink paper that the assignment was printed on, recognizing it from the storage closet. More specifically, from when it fell off the shelf, bustled off when he was pushed against the metal cabinet. “Mr. Urie is a good teacher, huh?”
“The best,” Nicole chirped, beaming up at her brother. “Can we go home now? I want to watch a movie with you.” She grabbed his hand and started to pull him towards the car but Ryan stalled.
“I was thinking maybe I should stop in and talk to your teacher,” Ryan tried, but Nicole tugged on his arm harder.
“Movie!” she insisted. Ryan sighed and glanced over towards the window where Brendon was leaning over some of the desks, straightening up loose papers.
“Alright,” he agreed. “Let’s go.” Brendon turned around as Nicole dragged Ryan off, waving and quirking his eyebrows up as Ryan stumbled across the parking lot.
---
“You didn’t come to see me after you picked your sister up,” Brendon said as soon as Ryan picked up the phone, and Ryan could practically see Brendon’s pout. “I miss you, Ryan Ross. Am I going to have to make up some disciplinary problem so that you will have to come in for a parent/teacher conference?”
Ryan snorted into the phone. “I think that if you do that my father might actually leave the office and come down to the school. And I really doubt you want to have a man to man with my father.”
“You’re right,” Brendon agreed. “I much rather have one with you.” Ryan knew that if Brendon was there in front of him, he would be able to see his wiggling eyebrows, and he laughed again.
“What are you doing later tonight?” Ryan asked, already getting up off the couch to plug in his straight iron.
“You tell me.”
---
One negative thing about dating a kindergarten teacher, other than that whole keeping it a secret thing because of potential parental freak outs, was that Ryan was constantly finding himself volunteering for different classroom activities. It wasn’t like Ryan really wanted to help his sister’s class, but Brendon sure knew how to be convincing.
“And I want everyone to welcome Ryan to class today since he’s going to be helping us out with the frog pond!” Brendon announced to the class, his face lightening up as he extended an arm over Ryan’s shoulder.
Ryan was always a little bit uncomfortable with attention, but when a chorus of “Hello, Ryan!” hit him full force, he couldn’t help but smile and wave back. “Hey, everyone,” he replied back.
Zoning out a little as Brendon explained to the class what the plan was for that day, Ryan couldn’t help but check out the teacher a little bit. Thank goodness the children were too young to understand Ryan’s cocked hip, tilted head, and sweeping tongue, but still, when he caught himself, Ryan coughed and straightened himself up, moving to sit behind Brendon’s desk as Brendon grinned and continued telling his children about the right way to pick up a crayfish.
When he was finished, the one little girl, who was so interested in Ryan’s personal life, came up to bring him out from behind the desk. “Come on, Ryan,” Kristine whined as she tugged on Ryan’s arm. “I want you to catch a crayfish for me.”
Ryan wrinkled up his nose. “Don’t they have claws?”
“I think you’ll be fine,” Brendon interrupted, laughing as Ryan cringed up a little bit. “You can handle it.”
“I don’t actually have to pick one up, do I?” Ryan asked a little shakily as Kristine skipped off towards the little plastic pool at the one side of the room, obviously bored already with Ryan’s lack of excitement for the little pinching animals. “Isn’t that a little bit dangerous? I don’t think the kids should touch them.”
“They’re harmless,” Brendon assured, and Ryan could tell that he was suppressing more laughter. “They’re more afraid of you than you are of them.”
“Sure they are,” Ryan grumbled, but he followed Brendon and circled around the play pool, the smell hitting him when he was within ten feet of the pink plastic circle.
“Look!” his sister exclaimed as she ran up to Ryan, her hands cupped together. “It’s a salamander!” She opened her hands, a slimy little lizard crawling across her palm. “Isn’t it cool?”
Ryan took an involuntary step back, running into Brendon’s sturdy chest, his hands cupping around Ryan’s shoulder to steady him. “Really cool, Nicky,” Ryan managed, happy when his sister turned around and switched her attention back to the pool full of creek animals.
Brendon’s hands slid down Ryan’s arms before grasping Ryan’s hands, briefly squeezing them before he bounded over to where the children were. “Who knows the difference between a frog and a toad?” Brendon asked.
A bunch of hands shot up in the air and Brendon grinned over at Ryan, who smiled back, managing to suppress his instinct to run away from the slimy amphibians, and he slipped up in between two kindergarteners to watch Brendon pick up each animal and excitedly explain fun facts about each one, his chest tightening each time Brendon’s eyes caught his own.
---
“You’ve been spending a lot of time over at the kindergarten,” Ryan’s father said as he passed the green beans around the table. Ryan knew that he was being paranoid and his father’s voice probably wasn’t as accusatory as it sounded in his head, but he couldn’t help the little bit of panic that swelled through him. He couldn’t very well tell his dad about Brendon - - Ryan knew exactly how that conversation would go.
“Well,” Ryan said, swallowing to stall time a little, “they always can use extra help.” He tried not to think of the darkened corners, tried not to think of the empty storage closets, or that time, daring and foolish, when he couldn’t help himself and had pressed Brendon up against the white board, kissing him boldly, thankful for the closed blinds and locked door.
“You hate children,” his father pointed out, waving a forkful of chicken at Ryan. “You always are complaining if I ask you to watch Nicole if she has a friend over.”
“I don’t hate kids,” Ryan argued. “And besides, I thought you would like that I was getting out and helping around the community.” His explanation sounded stupid, insipid, and altogether unbelievable to him, but Ryan knew that it was what his father wanted to hear, so he said it.
“I do,” his father assured, taking a bite of his meal. “Pass the salt,” he ordered, and the conversation was over just like that.
---
“Tell me a secret,” Brendon whispered, his mouth brushing against Ryan’s collar bone with every word. Their bodies were curved into each other, Brendon’s arm slung across Ryan’s body, pulling him closer, and Ryan could feel each breath of Brendon’s puff out against his chest.
“What kind of secret?” Ryan asked, reaching down to pull off the warm comforter that Brendon had pulled over them, leaving only a thin white sheet to cover them. “I’m hot,” he explained.
“I know,” Brendon teased, kissing him, tongue poking out to tease, but he pulled back as Ryan opened his mouth. “But really, tell me a secret. I want to know everything about you.”
“I like to make out with you in storage closets,” Ryan said, leaning down to kiss along the curve of Brendon’s chest. “I like it when you sing. And when you smile. And when you talk.” Each sentence was accentuated by a kiss, and Brendon’s body arched up into the touch.
“No,” Brendon said. “I appreciate all the compliments, but I want you to tell me something real. Something you haven’t told anyone else.” His fingers slid against Ryan’s chest as he hovered over him, creeping around his sides before rolling him off and down on the bed again, and Brendon burrowed against Ryan, tangling their legs together.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Brendon was leaning up to look at Ryan, but Ryan didn’t want those bright eyes on him, didn’t want him to pull out things that Ryan wanted to keep hidden.
Brendon’s head turned and he kissed Ryan’s chest, soft and open-mouthed. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Brendon said. “If you’re not ready, you don’t have to. I can wait.”
Ryan sighed, but his body relaxed. “What about you?”
“You’re my secret,” Brendon mouthed against Ryan’s chest, but then he looked up, eyes suddenly not so bright anymore. “It was always my secret,” he whispered. “Always until one day when it wasn’t.” He took a deep breath. “My parents haven’t talked to me since that day.”
Ryan didn’t know what to say, so he just tightened his hold on Brendon and kissed the top of his head. “I don’t really like children,” Ryan admitted quietly, “but I like you enough to make up for it. You make me not so jaded.”
And it wasn’t a secret, not really, not like what Brendon had shared, but Ryan felt exposed all the same, but he didn’t feel afraid.
---
“Dance time!” a little girl yelled as a tiny chime rang out through the classroom. Ryan looked up from where he was helping a boy named Sam trace out a capital F on a worksheet. He was jostled by the kids jumping up to run together on the bright blue carpet square.
When he looked up, Brendon was smiling widely as he reached over to turn on the cd player sitting next to his computer before he rounded his desk to join the kids on the carpet, most of them already twisting around spastically in what Ryan supposed was dancing. Brendon grabbed a couple of the kids by the hand and started twisting with them, his hips swiveling to the beat, and Ryan found himself, almost subconsciously, moving towards the dancing area.
“Come on, Ryan!” Nicole yelled. “Dance with me!” She grabbed Ryan’s hand, swinging her hair around and shaking her free hand as she pulled Ryan towards the mass of jumping bodies.
Ryan wanted to say no, he really did. He did not want to dance around with a bunch of kids, most of who kept knocking into him, but he couldn’t find it in himself to pull his hand away from Nicole. Especially when Brendon danced up next to him, bumping their hips together before laughing in his ear, Brendon’s mouth brushing against Ryan’s neck as he slid past.
When the song ended, the music paused, Brendon’s finger poised above the cd player remote. “I know everyone loves dancing time,” Brendon said, “but remember what we talked about yesterday?” He looked around the room. “Who remembers what the dance we learned about from Argentina is called?”
“The tango!” several kids yelled back at him and Brendon smiled and nodded his head.
“That’s right,” he said. “I know that we watched a movie about it yesterday, but I thought that it might be fun today for all of us to try it out. We don’t have to be perfect. This is just for fun.” Brendon smiled at the kids, eyes wide. “Now everyone find a partner.
Around Ryan, kids were running back and forth to find their best friends, each tiny pair holding their hands out into position and yeah, it was a little bit ridiculously adorable.
“Mr. Urie, you have to dance too!” a little voice yelled out, and Brendon grinned.
“Don’t worry, I will,” he said just as his finger fell down and hit the play button, causing rich music to play through the speakers.
Little bodies twisted, dipped, and marched around Ryan, but most of the kids opted to just spin around in circles, clinging tightly to each other. Ryan was so caught up in watching the kids twirl themselves around, throwing their heads back in laughter, that he didn’t even notice Brendon sneaking up behind him until Brendon was pressed up behind him.
“Dance with me?” Brendon breathed into Ryan’s ear, reaching down already to intertwine their fingers and he whirled around Ryan to bring their chests flush together. Brendon winked at Ryan, snapped down his teeth on what Ryan assumed was supposed to be an invisible rose and not just air, and dipped him back.
Brendon’s laughter followed the curve of Ryan’s dip, and when he whooshed up, their faces were only inches apart. Ryan’s tongue peeked out to lick across his bottom lip and Brendon’s lip quirked as he stepped back.
“Later,” he promised, and then he bounced away, swiveling between the little dancing partners to dance with his students.
---
“You cook?” Ryan asked, surprised as he let himself into Brendon’s apartment, an appetizing smell assaulting his senses as soon as he walked into the door. “You cooked something that smells good and isn’t in a cardboard tray?” Ryan walked across the apartment to lean up against Brendon as he stirred whatever was simmering on the stove. “I’m impressed.”
Brendon turned his head to fuse their lips together before turning his attention back to the stove. “Good, I was hoping to impress you so that you’ll put out later,” he said, grinning.
“Hm,” Ryan hummed, leaning up against the counter to cock his hip out. “I hope you made dessert then.”
“I have some leftover cupcakes that Mrs. Miller brought in for Timmy’s birthday today,” Brendon said, shrugging. “Will that work?”
“I think that’ll do,” Ryan agreed, kissing Brendon again before jumping up on the counter. His feet kicked against the cupboards below. “What is this about birthday cupcakes? Is that something that everyone does when it’s their kid’s birthday?”
“Mostly,” Brendon said, reaching over to pick up the salt and pepper, his shirt riding up a little as he leaned over, and Ryan wasn’t even embarrassed when Brendon caught him looking and raised an eyebrow.
“Nicole’s birthday is on Wednesday,” Ryan said, wondering if their father would even remember. Though, even if he did, Ryan knew that there was no way that he would bother to bring in desserts for the class.
“Hey, do you mind reaching in and grabbing me some of the garlic powder in the cupboard?” Brendon asked.
Ryan leaned over, reaching into the cupboard, and when he turned back, Brendon was standing between his legs, and his face was angled up close to him. Brendon smoothed his hands down Ryan’s legs and Ryan wrapped his legs around Brendon’s waist, bringing the other man closer to him until their bodies were flush up against each other.
“What about the food?” Ryan asked, running his hands through Brendon’s hair, leaning forward so that their foreheads rested against one another.
“It needs to simmer,” Brendon said, tilting down to join their lips together. “We have another hour. I think we can find something to do.”
Ryan’s hands trailed down to cup Brendon’s ass. “Those better be some amazing cupcakes.”
---
“Tomorrow’s my birthday,” Nicole sang as she tickled one of Ryan’s feet in her lap, stilling them again so that she could swipe the bright purple nail polish across Ryan’s toenails.
“I know,” Ryan said, grimacing good-naturedly as his sister added a second coat. “Six is a big deal,” he agreed. “Do you know what you want?”
Nicole nodded, the movement causing some bright polish to brush against Ryan’s skin, and when she swiped at it, the polish only smudged and spread. “Yep. I want an American Girl Doll. The one with the brown hair, just like me.”
“Samantha?” Ryan asked, hating himself just a little bit for knowing the name of the brunette American Girl Doll that his sister wanted. Thankfully, he had taken it upon himself to order the doll a couple of months ago, and it was already all wrapped and ready, hiding in the hall closet. “We’ll see tomorrow,” he said.
“I hope they sing happy birthday to me tomorrow at school,” Nicole said. “Mr. Urie has an amazing voice.”
“Yeah, he does,” Ryan agreed. “I know they’ll sing to you, munchkin. Everyone will want to celebrate with you.”
---
Ryan slammed the door to his car as he ran out, making sure that the box of cookies didn’t fall to the ground. Even though he had told his father several times that week about Nicole’s birthday and how most parents brought in desserts, when he called the office that morning, Margarine, the receptionist, didn’t know anything about it.
“Stupid, fucking, worthless asshole,” Ryan grunted under his breath. “Can’t trust anyone to do anything.”
He rushed into the school building, the box of cookies tipping dangerously as he rounded the corner. When he reached where the classroom was, Ryan didn’t even bother to knock. He had been so accustomed to helping out in Brendon’s class that he didn’t even feel strange anymore coming in.
When he closed the door behind him and looked around the classroom, his chest clenched. Sitting in front of each child there was a small pink cupcake, and in the front of the room, sitting on the plush armchair, with a plastic crown on her head, sat Nicole, beaming.
No one in the room turned when Ryan came in since they were all singing happy birthday, loud and out of tune, but Brendon’s voice carried overtop, soothing out all the twisted harmonies.
“Happy birthday, Nicole,” Brendon said, holding a lit cupcake in front of her for her to blow out, cheering along with the other kids when she extinguished the flame. “Okay, everyone, remember to use your napkins.”
All around the classroom, the kids began to dig into their cupcakes, and Ryan walked over to rest the cookies down on Brendon’s desk, catching Brendon’s eyes as he moved across the classroom.
“Hey,” Brendon said, letting his hand brush over Ryan’s in greeting.
“You made her cupcakes,” Ryan whispered, biting his lip as he looked up at Brendon. “That was…. You are… You have no idea what…” He took a breath. “You made her cupcakes,” he said again. “You didn’t have to do that.”
Brendon ducked his head down. “Yeah I did. For you, I did.”
“I really wish we weren’t in this classroom now,” Ryan said, voice dropping down low.
“Oh, Ryan Ross,” Brendon teased, laughing a little. “Let’s go help your sister celebrate her birthday.”
Ryan followed Brendon over to where his sister was sitting, grabbing the box of cookies as he went. He figured that the extra sugar couldn’t be that bad. “Storage closet later, right?” Ryan asked.
“Oh my God, yes.”