Oof this is a lot softer than I originally was going to make it lmao hope yall enjoy
Sitting on the edge of the building, maskless, Peter finally lets the tears fall, lets his armor collapse around him.
He hadn't been able to save the woman.
He hadn't been able to rescue everyone.
He had let someone die.
There had been a fire in a nearby apartment building, late at night. There was around 100 people to get out of the building and the fire was spreading fast.
He tried as best as he could to get everyone out. Animals, children, elderly, adults, teenagers, everyone. He even managed to get a boy's goldfish back to him. But there had been a woman. Trapped under a fallen beam and had died of the smoke inhalation and heat. Peter hadn't realized until it was too late.
He had been getting the last of the people out, the last family, when he heard the man screaming for his wife. He went back in as fast as he could, stumbling through the smoke and fire to find the woman still trapped somewhere in the building. His energy had already been depleted and he was tripping and getting dizzy from being inside the building too long.
When he finally got the woman out, it was too late. She had already passed away in his grip.
Normally, he would've stayed to talk to the kids and to the adults, to accept thanks and make sure nobody was forgotten.
But he couldn't listen to the man's screams any longer as he cradled his deceased wife in his arms.
He couldn't handle the guilt.
He couldn't handle any of it.
It was his fault.
The woman had died on his watch.
Peter ran a hand through his hair, pulling in another unsteady breath of air.
The guilt was weighing him down and he wondered if it could pull him right off the roof of the building.
The guilt like ice inside his gut and gasoline inside his mind, ready to explode at any moment.
He knows it's unfair, knows deep down that it can't be his fault. He got 99% which is better than anyone else could do, but it wasn't everyone. Somebody died. He didn't save her.
She had a husband. She had a job. A family. She was a real live person who simply isn't anymore. Because of him.
The sky's too pretty for such a somber night. The moon is full and bright, painting the streets in the soft glow, helping the streetlights show even the darkest corners of alleys. The stars sparkle above him and subconsciously Peter spots some of the constellations he knows. Orion, the big dipper, the bull, the little dipper.
Normally he can't see the stars because of Queens' pollution. But tonight, the stars are bright, twinkling above him.
The wind sweeps past him, brushing his hair out of his face and freezing the tears to his cheeks. It carries the cries of the people from the apartment building, whether they're happy cries or sad cries. The man's cries stand out from the rest of them, angry. Devastated.
He can't blame the man, he had lost the most important thing to him.
Peter knows how it feels. After losing so much throughout his life, he knows how it feels to be devastated like the man is. To be angry that they got taken from you. To be so guilty that it was them instead of you.
Peter gets it. He understands.
He tugs his mask back on, needing someone to talk to. So, he opts for his second closest friend, Karen.
"Hey, Karen?" he says, voice dropping to barely above a whisper.
Karen takes the hint and drops her voice as well. "Yes, Peter? Your heart rate is elevated, if this continues for more than 5 minutes, I'm required to contact Tony Stark."
"Am I a bad person, Karen?" Peter asks, sounding small. He stares down at the sidewalk stories below his swinging feet.
"You lock up bad people, Peter. You haven't locked yourself up," she says.
"I've done bad things, Karen. I'm a bad person. I feel like a bad person," he replies, letting the breeze brush past him gently.
"Friday has informed me that Boss has a folder of videos and pictures dedicated to you and your accomplishments," Karen says. "That does not sound like a bad person to me."
"He does?" Peter asks, looking up suddenly. He can see Stark Towers from the building he's currently sitting on. The lights are still shining from most of the floors of the tower, like a beacon calling me home.
"Yes. It currently has 102 videos and 253 photos. He also has a folder dedicated to Spider-Man with 187 videos, 84 photos, and 92 news articles," Karen informs, and to Peter and his soft loving heart, it sounds like she's smiling somehow.
"He does? That's..." Peter trails off, unable to find the word for how grateful he is for Tony.
"Designing the quickest route to Stark Towers. Boss is in the lab."
*
Peter's nervous once he gets to the tower with wide eyes and tear tracks down his face. There's still burns on his arms and hands and legs from the fire, but he's forgotten about the sting. The suit isn't fire proof yet.
"Mister Stark?" he calls out softly, not wanting to sneak up on his mentor who looks busy with projects.
"Hey, kid. What's up? Did something happen on patrol?" Tony says, turning around with a gentle smile and reassuring gaze.
And that's all it takes for Peter to burst into tears again.
Tony's quick to gather his kid up in his arms, pulling him into a tight hug.
"Are you hurt? Did something happen?" Tony says, falling into his dad attitude (his daditude? Lmao)
Peter shakily explains the story of what happened, apologizing every time he takes a breath as though believing he should be the one who stopped breathing, not the stranger.
"That was not your fault, kiddo. You did so so good. I'm so proud of you all the time when you save people," Tony reassures, pulling away from the teenager to look him in the eyes. "You can't save everyone, Pete."
"The man was so upset though," Peter cries. "He was crying and screaming. He lost the love of his life."
"Boss," Friday speaks up. A screen pops up beside the pair. "I think you'd like to see this."
It's a tweet from just a few minutes ago.
@\r.reddinson1987:
Spider-Man disappeared too quick for me to thank him. My wife passed away this evening and I haven't quite come to terms with it, but he saved our daughter. He saved my 3-year old daughter from getting hurt in the building. He saved everyone he could and for that I'll forever be thankful <3<3<3
"See? You he's not alone. He's got his daughter. He's not holding a grudge. It's not your fault. You tried so hard. You can't save everyone, but you do a damn good at job at saving people."
"Boss?" Friday interrupts again.
"What is it, Fri?" Tony says, rolling his eyes a little bit.
"Karen informed me that Peter would like to see your folders for him. The Peter Parker Protection Squad folder and the Spider-Baby folder. To remind Peter he isn't a bad person."
A light blush touches Tony's face and he glares at the ceiling. "He wasn't supposed to know about that... Fine, c'mon, kid. Go get some hot chocolate. We've got a lot of things to sort through."
Peter grins and races off to his bedroom to change out of his suit into a pair of Thor pajama bottoms and an oversized Star Trek T-shirt.
When he arrives to the living room with hot chocolates, Tony's waiting for him in the heap of blankets on the couch.
Peter sits and Tony throws an arm over Peter's shoulders.
"You're a good kid, Peter. The best kid. You're not a bad person."
"Thank you, Mister Stark."
And they start watching all the videos of Peter's achievements and his cute antics and his pranks and him falling asleep literally anywhere in the lab. Pictures upon pictures of science fair awards and decathlon prizes and internship works. Pictures of him drooling on his calculus homework in the lab. Pictures of him falling asleep against Tony. Pictures of him grinning and smiling and laughing. Pictures of him saving people as Spider-Man and as Peter. Pictures of him being happy.
(Sorry this is short lmao ive gotta start catching up on these and 3k words is no longer entirely realistic. Might pull an all nighter tonight and get a few up. Sorry for the delay)