"Goodnight little brother! ♡"
Amae gently kissed my forehead and lied beside me, making a sound of satisfaction. The dulcet tone was shortly accompanied by multiple physical gestures that made me feel loved, eventually becoming our everyday sleeping ritual.
"Goodnight big sister," I felt her arms crept up behind, clinging onto me like a body pillow.
Today was particularly cold because of Xue season — massive snowstorm for the entire week. So her embrace felt especially comforting, as though warming through to the depths of my heart.
To think that sleeping together became this casual, I still found it hard to believe at times that I was summoned. In another world. Isekai-style. A fantasy turned reality. It was hard to imagine someone like me fighting a demon lord and saving the world from demise.
Ironically, I was summoned by the demon lord. To be her little brother through a Love Ritual.
That night, I remembered Amae spreading her arms wide like a teddy bear, beckoning me to join her in bed. As she rested soundly, I ended up pulling an all-nighter because my heart was thumping nonstop the whole time.
That was the first time a girl cuddled me.
It felt so nice.
Days that became weeks and eventually turned to four months, I learned that my big sister would mutter silly things while asleep.
"You're so cute when you..."
"Make me food..."
"I'm recharging..."
"Meow meow..."
It was so amusing that sometimes I could not help but giggle quietly. Maybe this was a demon lord thing, but it made me feel close knowing she acted her most vulnerable around me.
But for some reason, I felt emotional tonight. Like the falling snow, my mind was consolidating itself into heaps of uneasiness. This time, about my past.
I was always by myself, never actually connecting with the people back in my world. It was like living in the empty void. An inexplicable feeling of melancholy. It felt as if I was missing something as I continued searching for what seemed like a needle in a haystack.
But what was I searching for in the first place?
Was it friendship? Was it intimacy? Or was it love?
In my world, everyone around me was only concerned with themselves. Genuine friendships were difficult to maintain, let alone a romantic relationship. It seemed I was the only one struggling while others were having fun together, enjoying their youth to the fullest.
Why can't I have that?
Is something wrong with me?
Similarly, it was hard for someone like me, who was not very masculine and shy in personality to find a partner. Socially, I was not expressive about my feelings and always found it tough to actively go to parties without being completely drained the next day.
I don't like to be alone.
I'm tired of being alone.
Why is it that I feel so lonely even when I have friends around me?
I should find a girlfriend.
I searched for love, but in the end, nothing ever blossomed amongst the roses. Imagination of my ideals was totally different than reality. Many times, I lacked the courage to say the things that would advance the relationship. Afraid of rejection and wanting to maintain what we already had, I played it safe.
Thus, I've been friend-zoned by my crush and found the love of my life, moving to the next stage and finding their own relationship.
Everyone is moving forward while I remain stagnant.
I realized that I was a hopeless romantic — wanting a cute love story like the ones in manga or anime.
I want to fall in love.
I want to know what it's like to want someone selfishly for yourself.
I want to know what it's like to hold someone's hands and kiss their lips.
I want to know what it's like to have someone support your dreams.
I want to know what it's like to rely on someone you can trust.
I want—
—Hearing a soft grunt, I turned around and faced her. The sleeping beauty simply shifted position. Resting in her majestic-black feathery wings that would sprout every night, it felt as if I was lying in the world's softest bed. Inside was an indescribable warmth and I was the only one allowed.
I'm grateful that we crossed path.
Over billions of possibilities exist in the universe. Yet, despite all the odds, our red strings of fate managed to intertwine, slowly weaving together into one whole unit.
Comparing the past to the present, there was only one word to currently describe my mood — wholehearted gratitude.
I'm grateful that when I wake up the next day in the morning, I am greeted by your smile.
I'm grateful that when I need a hug, you will be there to hold me.
I'm grateful that when I make something new, you'll always be there to try my cooking, no matter how bizarre they are.
I'm grateful that I met you, Amae.
My partner.
My big sister.
The soft breathing as her chest rose up and down indicated that she was here with me, alive at this very moment. No one else but us was in our sacred bedroom.
Although our values and traditions may be foreign to each other, heck our physical anatomy was worlds apart, I was glad our relationship turned out the way it was.
Out of all the possibilities, who knew that my partner would actually be an almighty demon lord?
But does that even matter?
Love comes in all shapes and sizes.
Sharing a life with someone you love and making memories down the journey together. That must truly be one of the beautiful things that exist.
Still, is it okay for me to feel this happy?
What have I done to deserve such an amazing partner?
Amae turned towards me and asked in a concerned expression.
"Yeah," I smiled sheepishly, breaking my trance. "Just having some late night thoughts again."
"Tell me about it."
"I had a dream awhile ago," My body shivered slightly as I recalled the details. "That one day, when I wake up, everything I ever knew about this world is all gone. And I'm back to my world. It scares me, not able to come back after knowing the happiness that exists here. I don't want this dream to end."
"The ritual was a success, which means we are contracted partners forever," Amae replied in an assuring tone. "This is not a dream but reality, little brother."
"I know..." The uneasiness in my heart lingered. "Do you mind if I come closer?"
"Ara~ I don't dislike this side of you — this vulnerable and needy side. ♡"
Amae instantly cradled me into her embrace. Adding headpats and a soothing tune, I was being pampered like the younger brother I truly was. Although my head laid on the softness of her voluptuous breast, there was no sexual desire but an indescribable emotional satisfaction.
How ironic is it that the part we don't want others to see is what strengthens our relationship.
"原來你是我最想留住的幸運~ ♫ 原來我們和愛情曾經靠得那麼近~ ♪"
It was the familiar song again.
I closed my eyes, taking in everything.
Listening to the sound of her humming and the faint breeze that blew against the window. Feeling the warmth of her body and fluffy wings. Smelling the familiar scent that reminded me of home. Tasting this particular nostalgic moment. Opening my eyes, appreciating how this person in front of me was my big sister.
"Your singing is so soothing."
"I learned it from my master centuries ago."
"What do the lyrics mean?"
Amae thought for a few seconds, "Something like as it turns out, you are the fortune that I want to keep the most. As it turns out, we were once so close to being in love."
Fortune.
Being in love.
"That sounds bittersweet," It sounded like a melodramatic ode, where two people came so close to falling in love but were unable to actualize that dream.
"那為我對抗世界的決定~ ♫"
As Amae continued singing, I saw a radiant goddess, singing from the bottom of her heart. It was genuine and filled with passion.
"那陪我淋的雨一幕幕都是你~ ♪"
I noticed her lips as they moved. Those precious and rosy lips I kissed since the contract. Ever since then, we never kissed each other.
"一塵不染的真心~♬"
Once her voice trailed off, I sat up in her lap and locked gaze.
"I came to this world having met you, form a contract, experience the hot springs, have you tasted my cooking and went on my very first date."
Hearing the bittersweet song, I did not want our love to end up as almost but a definite. Mustering the courage I lacked since forever, I grasped her hands tightly and poured out my heart:
"You're the fortune that I want to keep the most and I'm in love with you!"
Before my big sister could even reply, I pushed myself forward and sealed her lips with a kiss, signaling that I was truly, truly grateful for having her in my life.