A/N - There's no gif. That's new. Oh...
ed·u·cate
Céline.
A couple of weeks have passed and it was my first day of classes. My last — first — day of school.
My eyes peered around the new campus; the place that is now my fourth home — The University of Kansas. Historical buildings were presented in front of me; each of them welcoming me inside, into a world of yet unknown things I've yet to learn. Every single one of them told a story, dating back over one hundred years ago, as the pioneers first started to make their journey to the Kansas territory.
Everything starts small and grows from there. From a strong egg and a troop of a sperm cell, to an embryo, to a fetus, and to a baby; they're all tiny paths that lead to a form of great knowledge, success, and dedication through life. As our own feet make a foot print on the planet, others did the same thing, hundreds of years ago, bringing us to what we have today. Without the first step, we'd all be standing as statues, doing nothing but admiring one another's incompetence, and what we could have done.
The cobalt blue, bright red, and mustard colours, are brought together, uniting to form the Jayhawk symbol; the mascot and inspiration of the people who made their stamp to the local society. The mascot was printed on a flag, placed on each street light throughout the campus, proudly waving its success of history.
Large and old architectural masterpieces, of red brick and ashy stone, stood strong as they overlooked a small hill and hundreds of trees surrounding them. The green grass had begun to fade in colour, as the blaring sun's own clock was hinting a change of season. Some of the trees and the leaves had already turned to gold and crimson; and others still hanging on with the vibrant hue of moss. The trunks of each, gaining a ring, as they grew older every year. They showed their beauty and age as time passed by.
Everything gains its charm with age, like cheese and wine; yet, we never truly believe it. As humans, we tend to believe that growing everyday just ages us, bringing us to a frail and hideous physical stage; but to contraire, it's the complete opposite. We gain emotional strength and wisdom, along with hundreds of stories to tell the people around us — whether relatives or strangers.
A small smile grew on my face as I watched other students around me, already having their noses stuck in their books, preparing for their first lectures of the semester. Some were sitting under a tree, their backpacks placed carelessly beside them. Some sat on a couple of benches nearby, drinking from an energy drink — which they were probably stocking up on for the dreadful mid-terms. Of course, those were miles away; yet they are somehow automatically planted in our minds as soon as the school year starts. And some, were just laughing with their friends and peers, enjoying the last few moments before they were dragged into their studies.
As I walked towards a coffee cart stand, I looked over to my right, noticing a couple sitting together on a bench. Their hands were held together, as they laughed at something, their smiles wide on their faces. He then suddenly paused a moment and looked at her. I watched at how he was in such awe of her presence beside him. I noticed how her cheeks immediately turned to a rosy pink as he mouthed, 'you're so beautiful', then leaned over to give her a small kiss onto her lips. Their love was pure and it was young; something that everyone deserved to have.
I longed to have that love at their youthful age, but was unfortunately taken advantage of. I blamed the prick, myself, and my emotions for it though. Since then, I'd put up a concrete wall with steel rods, making it almost indestructible. Two people have gone through it like ghosts though — Josephine and Hazel. I'd broken it slightly for Lena. Leaving one more important person that is slowly on the verge of destroying the wall completely and making it seemed like it had never existed; and that person is Harry.
My thoughts were broken as a man, who seemed like a freshman that was working the stand, asked what I wanted to order. I replied, asking for a simple dark roast, plain black coffee. I wasn't surprised when the boy looked at me as if I weren't human or had two heads. Most students I've heard, tend to go for fancy 'coffee' drinks, that actually have a minuscule amount of it; ones that were mixed with various 'classic' shots of caramel, vanilla, and hazelnut. I'd say that the only ones that counted, were the chocolate and espresso. Let's not forget the seasonal favourites, such as pumpkin, mint, and candy-cane flavours. "Is that all?" He asked and I nodded my head, paying him in exact change. I knew that entering back into the college world, would add a dent to my wallet — then again, it already has.
From books, to tuition, to rent and bills, to food, and to just living life just comfortably, had already eaten up part of my bank account. There was one thing I'd never complain about though, and that was the amount I had to pay for coffee. It was a must in my life — just as water and air were a necessity to stay alive. I wouldn't lie that there might be something wrong with me, because of my obsession; but I'd forever deny it to anyone that asked.
Of course, all of that was separate to the fact that I had to rent a car until I managed to find mine, which was towed away at some impound lot in the city. I was forced to call multiple places until I found it — which resulted in having to pay for the fee to actually get it out. Turns out it was, exactly like I'd guessed, abandoned on the side of the interstate. There was only one thing stolen from it, my car charger. Seems like whoever decided to take it for a 'ride', they also were in desperate need to also give their mobile a little boost of energy. Asshole.
A couple of days after my work, I'd drove down to the college bookstore to get everything I could possibly need for the semester. The hour drive was surprisingly nice, despite the traffic, since it was a way of relaxing for me. I hated how expensive everything was. Even with the thankful scholarship and grants that I managed to achieve from my high grades. Surprisingly, one of them was from the company who paid my bills bi-weekly, supporting the ambition I had to finish one of the goals in my life. It still took a lot of effort, and I knew very well that they wouldn't cover half of it. Getting a loan was somehow easy, but I knew that paying it off was going to put me in permanent debt until the rest of my life. I didn't mind that though. I was doing exactly what I wanted to do in my life and that's what counted.
With all of that, I knew it was going to be a problem; but I sucked it up. This was what I wanted. I wasn't going to let nothing take it away from me. At least I believed so. A dream is only a mere thought, to make it a goal, you have to work hard to get so. Sacrifices had to be made, because nothing came easy. If it did, there would always be a catch; and that catch, is usually never worth it.
Luckily though, I'd managed to find all of my books in used, yet great, condition. That was a blessing on its own, that made me have my own little happy dance. It was through the aisles filled with hard and soft paperbacks that were filled with almost everything you'd need to learn in life. Happiness, trust, and love, were only a few examples.
My mind drifted back to the conversation I had with Harry about things that couldn't be taught. I could feel the beating of my heart increase at the thought of him. That man had entered my life one night, being obnoxious and smug, and somehow, turned everything around. I smiled whenever I smelled a scent that had an aroma of vanilla, or walked past someone who was smoking a cigarette. Generally the second one, I'd frown at the fact someone was doing something completely harmful to their body, because they inhaled from one white, deadly stick. But no, an upwards lip curl always appeared as I remembered the Englishman who I've grown oh so very fond of. A man who I swoon over; and a man who I'm completely smitten of.
As I made my way through the hallways through the school of architecture and design, another smile made its way onto my lips. It reminded me that this was another one of my homes now. It's temporary, but it's definitely an important one. My home, my office, our bench, and my school.
After several long mental and verbal discussions I had with myself — and Hazel, who helped me with making pro-con lists — I decided on finishing my doctoral degree with part time studies. I loved my job and already had assigned my time to spend with my family, I knew that more classes would add to my stress levels and the lack of free time — and that was the last thing I wanted.
I raised my left hand so that I could check the time on my watch my watch, only to see that I was right on schedule. I walked through the building and easily found my class. I'd brought Hazel along recently, after her own school, so that we could explore the new world I'd be immersing myself in. I decided on taking three courses, two of them being online, which was probably a bit too much, but there was the thankful option to drop one, if needed be.
I entered the studio room to find drafting tables, high-tech computers, miniature models of buildings that were made to scale, and materials of all sorts were scattered throughout, here and there. It was a class that wasn't truly meant for proper research, but the sight of everything design-related, made me feel at ease. I took a seat at one of the empty tables, in between two males that were in the midst of a conversation. It was something rather to deal with the university's football team — the Kansas Jayhawks.
The room was half filled, as more students slowly made their way inside. It wasn't a shock that most of them were of the male sex. Unfortunately, 'typical'.
"Are you sure you're in the right class, miss?" One of the obnoxious boys spoke, emphasising clearly on the 'miss'. This bitch.
"Wow, really? You don't have anything else that's not sexist to say? 'Are you sure you're in the right class?' What is that? Because, I'm pretty sure it's some sort of fucked up phrase that a person says, when they have a brain the size of raisin. I guess it's normal to act like a complete dick to someone that is actually here, in this very classroom, who has a master's degree, graduated with honours, and was on the dean's list. Not to forget that we're in a class for people who are here to actually receive their PhD." I smirked at the man, who's smug expression was immediately wiped off of his face.
I wasn't going at him to show off, but only to prove that no one knows each others' stories. We should never judge or make fun of, because we could always be beside someone who has a Guinness World Record or wins the Nobel Peace Prize. Other than that, it's to show that being a woman is not something to ever be ashamed of; and its a very powerful thing that's within us.
"I didn't know." He spoke, unsure of what to actually say.
"You better fucking believe it. It doesn't matter what I do or don't do though, because you're just one sexist pig."
"I'm s-sor—"
"Save your, 'I'm sorry' and shove it up your ass. Think before you speak and maybe grow an actual brain when you start to realise that the female gender is, and will forever, be superior to boys like you." I scoffed and turned around to the face the front of the room, as the professor had just walked in.
The man was on the older side, with grey hair who was wearing a fancy brown sweater vest, and a pocket watch; but he was completely far from old. He knew what he was doing and he was a genius. I mean, who wouldn't be after being a professor and have multiple PhD's. He was the only person for this semester that I would physically be seeing through teaching and I was excited. I knew that it was going to be a challenge; but that's what all my life has been. It's still my dream and my goal — and I'm going to do everything I can to make it happen.
"Good evening, class. Welcome to Methods of Inquiry in Architectural Research. I believe if there are certain individuals who think that others should not attend this classroom, feel free to leave." The professor spoke, his eyes flickering between me, and the 'man' who I'd conversed with not too long ago. A small grin was on the professor's face, clearly proving he'd overheard the exchange I had with him. The student stayed silent and the professor nodded.
"Wonderful. Now, I'm sure you're all here, because you want to get your precious doctoral degree in architecture. I'll let you in on a little secret, it'll be hell, and my class is far from easy, which means that slacking, is not an option. Your grade is split up into two parts. Seventy five percent of it, is your final. Whereas the rest is your mid-term. That percentage is something which you should be able to calculate. Say hello to the start of your PhD journey and let's begin." He informed us as he slowly walked in front of the classroom.
"Now, the philosophical statement here at KU is: 'what ought we do as architects and researchers to enhance the quality of life on this planet?' Simple, yet complex; but what does it truly mean?"
And like my professor said, that's truly and exactly when my PhD journey began.
..
The second the class was over, my mind rushed through many things — most involving Harry. Everything in the class was related in such a philosophical manner; and when he'd asked me if I were one, I said I wasn't. In a true sense, I was on my way to becoming one.
Many of the conversations that we had together, had something related to something in philosophy; and I wasn't sure if I liked or disliked that. Maybe it was both. It was definitely both.
"Hey!" Someone called after me, just as I walked out of the room. I turned around to be faced with a man with jet black hair, icy blue eyes, and about a foot taller than me. To be completely honest, he was very attractive, but I had a feeling that would die down within the next ten seconds. "I saw what happened with Lyon back there. It was pretty bad ass if you ask me."
"I didn't ask you." I commented and he let out a nervous chuckle, clearly not expecting me to reply.
"Right, well. My name's Nate, what's yours?"
"Unless you and I are working together on a research assignment of some sort, which is highly unlikely in this course, why exactly should I bother telling you who I am?" I didn't want to be a bitch; but today was just not meeting my needs of a normal day. Or it was just the fact I was on my monthly cycle — hormones and those damn mood swings. Everyone around me was a complete jerk or just plain judgemental. It wasn't my duty to fulfill their wants or personal curiosity. That belongs to only one person.
Fuck. I'm so whipped and he's not even mine.
"It's just a name, sweetheart." Oh gosh, please stop.
"Sorry, but I'm not interested." I let out a deep breath, informing him as nice as I possibly could. It was then that his eyes widened slightly and sucked his lips in, almost seeming as if he was embarrassed.
"Oh, I didn't realise that you were —"
"Nah mate, I'm straight as an arrow." I said and I watched as his expression changed; yet again.
Mate? I've truly hung out with Harry — too much; but I didn't mind it. Not one bit.
"So that means you're your own cupid." A small smirk was shown and I laughed — loudly. Was he serious?
"Absolutely, that's definitely accurate; because I'm a little Eros of pure Greek mythology. You know what mythology is? Let me tell you, because you clearly don't know shit, even though a six year old would know, it's a myth — a story. Remember that one when you have someone tuck you into bed, before you go to sleep." I tapped him on the shoulder twice and walked away, leaving him completely shocked and with a mouth wide open.
That'll teach him to underestimate a woman again. There were so many men in the class and in the program, but none of them seemed true to their senses. I laughed quietly to myself and made my way back to my car. Through my journey, I noticed the school's massive library, and a joyful memory came rushing back into my mind.
Hazel and I walked through the halls of the university. My hand was held onto hers as we swung them throughout the little trip to our destination. Her eyes were wide as she experienced something completely new for the first time in her life.
"Woah. This is a big school. There's so many people." I let out a small laugh at her shock.
"Sweets, school hasn't even started. These are just here for fun."
"Who would go to school for fun?" Her nose scrunched up in disgust. I couldn't help but let out a laugh at her expression.
"Some people like to learn and they like to prepare themselves ahead of time. Also, there are people that live here, so they're just walking around."
"People live at school?" Her jaw dropped down and she spoke in complete shock and confusion. "Why?"
"There are a lot who live far away and want to study here, or just want to be closer to school." I explained.
"But you live near us. It was a long drive, Auntie C."
I was well aware of what she was saying and I was taking the risk. The main campus was in Lawrence, Kansas; whereas I lived near downtown K.C., Missouri. I could have easily studied at UMKC, but they didn't have the proper program I wanted.
"I know, love; but I don't have to drive here every day. Just on Thursday's."
"But we have a lot of our time together on that day. Do you not want to spend time with me anymore?" She frowned, pulling her hand from me, crossing her arms in sadness. I immediately pulled them apart and lifted her chin so she could see me.
"Oh gosh no. I'd never do that. I love spending time with you; but now that I have class on that day, we can have our together-time on any other day of the week." I smiled. "I love you, little Hazelnut. I'll always need my daily dose of Nutella — and a phone call never makes the full cut."
"Okay." She showed one of her loving smiles. "Auntie Cece, what are we doing for Christmas?"
"Woah, slow your horses." I laughed. "We're just entering September."
"So? It's never to early to think about Christmas." She pointed out and I thought about it for a short while, until I shrugged, nodding my head.
"I guess you're right. Well, I don't know. What do you want to do?"
"I want to make snow angels and make hot chocolate, but not gingerbread cookies, I don't like those." She shook her head, remembering one of the things she despised. "And oh! I want to decorate the tree with all the pretty colours. Of course, that's after we play in the snow."
"Doing all of that, sounds like the perfect plan to me. Especially making those snow angels." I grinned.
"That's true, you love the snow." She smiled widely. "Just like me!"
"Nah, sweets. You're just like me. I'm the older one in the bunch of us."
"But Mummy's older."
"Well, don't tell her that." I laughed. "She's still young, too."
"Of course she is; but don't you say that, 'age is but a number'?" She asked and I looked at her, my expression just like hers.
"Yes, I do say that."
"In that case, I'm the oldest, then Mummy, then you."
"So why am I the youngest?"
"Because you're still so little and innocent and perfect. Anyone who's like that, always takes that spot."
"So that means, you're not one of those people?"
"Nope. I'm a big girl!" She spoke with excitement and happiness. This girl was truly, just like me. She managed to find a reason for everything.
"You sure are." I grinned, then noticed that we'd finally reached the place we wanted to go — the library.
"Oh my gosh, this place is huge! There's so many books like in the Beast's castle that he gave to Belle!" She said and I smiled. "She's a pretty princess."
"That she is; but let's be quiet, yeah? Let's take a walk around and find what I need while we do that. Remember though, we have to do that as quiet as possible." I whispered and she nodded enthusiastically.
We then made our way through the maze of thousands of books. They were all organised in neat manner, each by number and genre. All of them were stacked on dusty shelves, proving their true age through the many years of their publication. Each showing the use and appreciation, giving the reader the gift of knowledge. These text and research books were my safe haven — and I loved it here. Especially walking hand-in-hand with my absolute favourite person; sweet Hazel.
A smile crept up on my face as I thought back on my recent past. Everything and anything that had to deal with my wonderful niece, who never failed to bring my soul into pure happiness.
..
It was Sunday night and I was exhausted. I knew that deciding to continue through graduate school was going to be difficult, but I didn't realise how much. I still had a week more to decide whether or not I wanted to drop one of the courses, and that conclusion has yet to be made; but it definitely wasn't going to happen when I felt practically dead.
As tired as I was, here I was, sitting down on the bench in the middle of downtown. A randomly chosen bench that was my home. I looked down at my initials and Harry's name, just slightly beside me and I couldn't stop a smile that had already made its way on my lips. I didn't know how neat his penmanship was, but it wasn't entirely perfect as it seemed to be as it was carved into the old stone. His name was written in capital letters; and I knew that just by that, he was a closed off person — yet, he'd written who he was, to the limited public that came to this exact place.
He lived in his thoughts and his past and I knew that was one of the struggles he had. All I wanted was for him to trust me. It wasn't about my feelings, but only about him. I felt like his presence in my life has made me realise so many things — all while challenging me in ways that were never planned, nor intended.
Nonetheless, he was still one very difficult, unsolved puzzle.
A puzzle that I've been waiting for hours on end to show up. All I saw, was the invisible air, that surrounded me, myself, and I. I had no one else in a near vicinity to share it with — and that worried me.
..
A/N:
C is one pretty sassy person. Don't you think?
And Harry didn't show up...two weeks now. What happened?
What's your favourite part of the chapter? Tell me! Tell me!
A question from a lovely reader: What inspired you to write this story and do you already know how you want it to end?
To be honest, it was never something I ever pictured I'd do (writing a second book). Around the time I finished that, a close friend of mine told me to write another one, and she's support me along the way. The plot took a few weeks to make properly finalise itself (because I had no idea what to write about). It was suggested that I write something that wasn't super cute and fluffy, and I wasn't convinced in the beginning. The more I thought about the plot, I decided to challenge myself and go for something completely different. Even with the writing now, it's still a bit tough thinking about deep topics between C and H, so I truly hope that you're enjoying them. As for the ending, I have an idea of how it'll end. I'm all for happy endings (even though I'm not a believer in fairy tales, I just feel like if you want something to be enjoyable, make it happen). With being an author, I can control that, even though in our real lives, we can't do that at certain times. The very first part of the book I wrote, was one of the hardest and most important chapter in the entire thing. It surprisingly inspired me and I knew where to go from there!
If anyone has any more questions about me or the book, I'd love to answer them!
"Have you voted? Seriously, you should." Lena raised her brow.
Much love!
S x