A/N - 1: Sorry for the day late reply, I travelled unexpectedly (yet again, I need a non-hectic life, I swear), but trying to keep the updates close to the schedule as possible!
A/N - 2: His eyes and that smile. Oh my word.
beau·ti·ful
Harry.
Groaning, my eyes flickered open, feeling the bright light warm them up. They squinted as a sliver of sun was brought through the curtains that weren't fully closed and I couldn't help but mentally curse myself for that. I slowly sat up in bed, feeling slightly hot, and a tad shaky — and I immediately knew what that meant.
"Shit." I knew I had to get something in my system. I hated these times. The times that constantly reminded me I was a complete fuckup. I properly got up, sitting on the edge of the bed, and pulled the plastic bag filled with dangerous white powder. A frustrated sigh escaped my lips as I opened it, pouring just enough to feel 'fine'. I made a straight line on the top of the bedside table and snorted it quickly. My eyes closed as I took in the satisfying, yet miserable, feeling that rushed through my body. I hadn't realized when a single tear had run down my cheek. I swiftly wiped it away with the back of my hand, attempting to remove the fact my emotions were still there.
Standing up, I went into the bathroom, and started the shower. As soon as the temperature was to my liking, I stepped inside; the scolding hot water fell from the rain shower-head and ran down my body. My hands reached out for the soap, as I scrubbed it against my skin, wanting to rid myself from the dirt — secretly wishing it could also clean my heart and soul.
I let the bar slip from my hand and then rested my palms against the cool tiles. I turned around, leaning my head back, and slowly slid down the wall. Salty tears ran down my cheeks as I sobbed, mixing with the water that fell from above me, as they both mutually danced down the drain. I wished I could follow them. I wished many things in my life, but I knew that they couldn't happen. I debated whether that wasn't possible because I didn't want it to, or if it truly wasn't capable. My hands grasped my head and I curled myself into a ball on the shower floor, holding on as if my own life depended upon my single embrace. I hated my life. I hated everything.
Nothing good came from it. Nothing.
..
I'd left the shower, when I realised the water had turned cold as ice. After I got dressed into a pair of jeans and plain shirt, I quickly towel dried my hair, and threw it onto the bed. My entire house was clean, except for my bedroom. I took my phone from the charger and went downstairs. Fuck I needed some coffee — and maybe some food. There were so many things I had to do today; by things, that meant deals, which I truly hoped that they were small. I was slacking on them lately and I knew that wasn't good thing to do, but I couldn't care less. Caring; such bullshit.
Once I prepared a cup, I sat down on one of the kitchen island stools. It was then that I took a look at my phone screen and just let out a bothered breath as the notifications came rolling in. After the sixth alert came in, I quickly turned the sound off. My eyes closed tightly as I waited for the final vibration to send through. After a deep breath, I glanced down at my device, went through my missed calls first, then through to my messages. The list of people, practically included every single person I contact on a regular basis.
Yesterday, 7:44 PM - Dylan: Let's go for some more froyo. You know you want tooooo
Yesterday, 11:18 PM - Liam: Call me in the afternoon tomorrow. I have something to ask you.
Today, 3:19 AM - Vince: The shipment is ready. Have it delivered by 8
Today, 6:30 AM - Gemma: Wake up you idiot, I called you 5 times. Love you xx
Today, 9:01 AM - Niall: Harry :)
Today, 9:26 AM - Niall: Harry...
Today, 9:49 AM - Niall: Harry......
Today, 10:28 AM - Niall: Answer me.
Today, 10:34 AM - Niall: Seriously?
Today, 10:54 AM - Niall: I might punch you when I see you..
Today, 10:55 AM - Niall: That's a lie. You know I can't hurt a fly.
Today, 10:55 AM - Niall: Ha! I made a rhyme. I'm a poet and I didn't even know it :D
Today, 10:56 AM - Niall: But really, answer me you fucker :|
Today, 11:07 AM - Ivan: He's waiting for you. Get your ass here already.
Today, 11:24 AM - Dylan: Doc? Or should I call you Ducky now? Isn't that the English saying or somethign
Today, 11:24 AM - Dylan: Shit, something** I hate autocorrect
Today, 12:37 PM - Niall: I'm mad at you...I mean, really mad at you :(
Today, 12:45 PM - Niall: Save me pls. Liam's called in 2 meetings today and they're boring as fuck...and I'm hungry. It's supposed to be lunch. Can I punch him instead? :))))
As much as I didn't want to, I laughed at almost every single message I received. Somehow, the most entertaining was Niall's last text. He's always claimed that he hates meetings, even though I knew that he truthfully enjoyed them. There really wasn't a reason as to why, but he just did; however, I was a tad anxious about Liam's single text though. Since his confrontation, I've been extra careful about what I do and don't do. Then there was Gemma who hadn't contacted me in a couple of weeks, so there was no chance I had to get out of reaching back out to her. Both Vince and Ivan were pissing me off, so I've been ignoring them for several days. I wish I could do that longer, but I couldn't. Fuck. I hate my job.
..
"So, that's the last of them for the day." Mitch said, relived, as we both walked back to the warehouse.
"At least that's what we know of." I let out a deep breath.
"True." He nodded. "So what's with you lately? You've been slacking a bit and you know he doesn't like that."
"Do you really think I give a shit?" A short laugh escaped my lips.
"No, you don't; but you should." He furrowed his brows, clearly not happy with my reply.
"If he doesn't like it, he can go fuck himself."
"You're going to get bit in the ass for that."
"And that's supposed to scare me or something?"
"No, because clearly nothing does." He spoke annoyed and I simply shrugged. "You're an ass, you know that?"
"Great job for realising that. I'll give you an A plus and a gold star." I laughed and he frowned at me.
"Well, I'm out for the night." He informed me, placing a couple of extra handguns we borrowed for the night, back in the armoury.
"Don't forget to grab a pair of balls on your way out." I smirked and he flipped me off.
Locking the door with the secured code, all I could think about was going home. Once I sat down in my vehicle and starting up the engine, I looked at the time, and felt a small smile creep up on my lips. No Harry, it's too early. My brows furrowed as I shook my head. No, it's not. Do what your hea— mind wants. That's exactly what you need to do.
..
Céline.
Friday afternoons sitting at a cafe with Lena, are one of my favourite times of the week. We both get a chance to unwind, rant about work, and talk about absolutely anything. Usually those chats included our plans for the weekend — which haven't come up yet.
I glanced down at the half empty cup of coffee that was sitting on the wooden tabletop in front of me. A nearly finished blueberry muffin, with crumbs surrounding it, was also nearby. My eyes peered up at my friend who was taking the last bite of her chicken panini, which she earlier said that it was, 'so fucking good'. Her sailor's mouth reminded me of Harry and his smart mouth. I never really cared when people swore around me, but there were only two people that constantly spoke with profanities within their daily conversations. Of course, work limited Lena's foul language; and I assumed that Harry was the same way — considering his job was being around children.
Harry. The gorgeous man that's constantly been on my mind. Ever since I met him, he became one of the most important things in my life.
"So, where are you planning to go after here?" Lena's voice brought me out of my thoughts as she crumpled the napkin in her hand, placing it on the table.
"What are you talking about?" I asked my friend, even though I knew exactly what she meant based off of the look on her face.
"I'm talking about a certain Englishman who's clearly been occupying your mind for a long time now." A grin tugged at her lips.
"There's no one, 'occupying my mind'." I air quoted in response, only to have her scoff back.
"Bitch, why are you lying?" She raised a brow at me with a smirk clear as day.
"I'm not lying." I huffed.
"C." She glared.
"Okay fuck, fine." I sighed, defeated. "What do you want to know?"
"Are you going to see him tonight?" She bluntly asked and I sighed before replying to her. Lena didn't know where I met with him and I was glad that she's never asked me.
"It's always a spur of the moment decision, but I think so. I just don't know if he'll be there; even though he will be."
"He'll be there." She assured me, without truly knowing it.
"I hope so." I spoke with a small smile.
"So, what are you going to wear?" A grin was plastered on his face.
"Wear? I don't know, what I'm wearing now. I don't really care."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah?" I replied, yet it somehow turned into a question.
"Doll, you have to dress to impress."
"But I don't want to impress him."
"Yeah, right, sure you don't." She smirked. "Just dress up and wear something a little sexy. Don't get me wrong, I love your style, but I'm guessing he only saw you in something like that the night you met him."
"That's true." I nodded.
"So, all the more reason to show a little bit extra."
"Lena, I love you, but no. I don't want to pursue him, and I definitely don't anything to happen between us. There's no point for it." I sighed. I wished I could though.
"It's your call, of course. I just wanted to suggest it." She smiled, shyly. I knew she wasn't trying to force me into something, or say that my clothing wasn't enough to see someone, but it was just friendly advice. I appreciated that, just as I do to her.
"I know, babe. I know." My lips curled upwards, assuring her that I wasn't bothered by what she said.
Our conversations then steered away as she told me her plans for tonight. Surprisingly, she wanted to stay in, and have a night just to herself. It was a once in-a-blue-moon thing for Lena, but I loved when she did it. Time for ourselves is the best time to reflect about our lives. It was also the reason why she didn't invite me over. We understood each other, and that's what true friendship was in my eyes.
..
Entering my home, I placed my keys into the bowl on the entry table, slid my shoes off, and stepped into the kitchen. I was dying of hunger; yet, I was too lazy to make a proper meal. Of course, I sucked it up and ended up making a quick pasta dish — by quick, I mean placing a frozen dinner plate into the microwave and heating it up.
While I ate my dinner, all I could think about was what Lena said. Should I? Maybe I should. I didn't always wear fancy clothing, typically for me, it was only when there was an occasion. Meeting with Harry once a week, wasn't really that; even though I knew it was special.
My hands opened my closet and I stood there, looking at every single piece of clothing I had. Evening gown, no. Sparkly dinner dress, no. Interview attire, absolutely not. Fancy playsuit, maybe.
I pulled the hangar off the rack and slipped it off of it, laying it on the bed. I walked into the bathroom, showered, and decided to intensify my makeup. My feet made their way back into the bedroom, putting the playsuit, a few pieces of shiny jewelry on, and slipped on some nude heels. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and I saw my true. The navy outfit, showed more skin around my chest from plunging neckline with the delicate rhinestone detail on the waistline, it hugged my body in a perfect way. I felt beautiful. A small smile made its way onto my lips — but that didn't last long.
I didn't want this.
Quickly, I took every single thing on my body off — including the lace intimates, which added to the sexy appeal I wanted. I put on a robe and went into the bathroom, and splashed water on my face, ruining the evening makeup I'd worn for a mere ten minutes, and washed it off. I decided on putting on less makeup, only some mascara, a bit of blush, and a rosy lipstick. Satisfied, I went back into my bedroom, I put on plain pink, polka dotted set of cotton underwear, slipped on some jeans, and an old t-shirt of mine. I let my hair out of the side plait I had it in and pulled it up into a messy bun. Glancing back at myself in the mirror, my smile was wider than before. I wasn't fancy or trying to hard, they were both me, but I didn't want to want to try and impress someone. If I wanted to dress up for me, that was what I going to do. I didn't want to wear something nicer just to show or prove anything to Harry.
Deciding to go earlier this time, just at sunset, I made my way to the spot that I call my second home.
..
We were sitting in silence, the two of us looking at the atmosphere around our bodies — me at the skyline, which I never got tired of, and Harry at the stars. There must be a reason why he always looks up there. Yes, the night sky is a galaxy filled of mysterious wonders and beauty, yet, there's so much more for him. At least, that's what I believe.
Suddenly, my phone started to ring. I usually put it on silent when I come here — not even vibrate. Ever since I came here, I decided on keeping myself in a complete calming state. I moved the half empty coffee cup, just to make sure that it wouldn't tip over and spill. Harry's eyes were on me, and I apologised, checking my bag to find it in the side pocket. My hands flipped the device in my hand to find my sister's name on the glass screen.
"Hello." I spoke through the microphone, pushing a stray hair behind my ear.
"Céline, where are you?" Worry filled my sister's voice.
"I'm in downtown, Josie. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, everything's fine. Hazel and I are here visiting you, we thought you might be home. She's been nagging all day and —" She explained quickly.
"I was home, then I went out. It's late for you both; but I'll come as soon as I can. Anything for my Hazelnut. I'll be there in fifteen minutes, tell her to hang tight." I stood up, my phone still in hand. "And go inside, you have a key."
"Okay, Cece. I'll see you soon — Auntie C, Auntie C!" I heard my niece call me in the background.
"Yeah, Hazel." I smiled, never failing to do so when I spoke to her.
"Come soon." She pleaded and I could clearly picture her jumping up and down in her spot.
"I'll get there as quick as I can. I love you." I said and then hung up after she repeated those three powerful words.
"Everything okay?" He asked, worry too, filling his tone.
"Yeah, my niece wants to see me. Her and my sister are in front of my apartment. I have to go." I picked up my things, flustered.
"I'll walk you to your car." He kindly said, and my mind wasn't in any right mind to refuse — also a tad surprised by his offer. I nodded and we started to walk towards the parking lot.
Tonight though, was a bit on the dangerous side as we heard gunshots from a distance and mentally shook on the inside. I heard a soft whisper beside me and it took a while to process that Harry calmed me. "It's okay, keep walking". Once we reached the lot, I looked around for my decent red, Nissan Altima, and couldn't spot it.
"Shit, fuck. Fucking shit." Twice, I stomped lightly on the ground, turning around frantically in another search attempt.
"Which one is it?"
"Not here. It's stolen." I closed my eyes, fisting my hands.
"Come on then, I'll give you a ride."
"Harry it's fine, I'll just get a cab or an Uber —"
"Céline. Come on." He insisted and I looked at him to see complete care within his eyes. I dropped my shoulders in defeat, so I nodded, and followed him to his own vehicle. He unlocked his car from a short distance, hearing the beeps, and saw the lights turn on a shiny black Range Rover.
"Hop in." He said, opening up the passenger door for me. I was a bit shocked by his gentleman gesture.
"Thanks." I smiled. He quickly walked around the other side, and got in the SUV. I inspected it subtly and noticed how clean and luxurious it was. It had this new car smell and that put a content smile on my face. Maybe one day, Céline. "Nice car."
"Thank you." He said, turning on the ignition, waiting. "So? Where to?"
"Oh right. Sorry. Just pull out onto 10th east, then take a right at Oak street." I said and he nodded once.
"So, you and your niece seem close."
"We are. I think I'm closer to her, more than I am with my sister." I lightly laughed.
"You'd do anything for her, you said." He repeated my words that I'd spoken earlier.
"Yeah, I would." I smiled, but then it quickly faded when I remembered that she was sick. It's why I did anything for her. I'd always be there whenever she needed me. She was my closest friend. Truly closer than Lena and Josie — or the world — put together.
"You okay? You sort of blanked out there for a second." He looked at me, with curious eyes and I nodded at him. I could tell that he didn't believe me, but he didn't question me it again.
"How old is she?"
"Seven. Eight, in a couple of months." I felt comfortable in telling Harry this. I didn't know why, but I just did. The rest of the ride was mainly silent, except for when I told him the directions to my home. It wasn't far and pretty easy to get home.
Once he pulled up on the side of my building, I saw my sister and niece standing by the door.
"I told them to go inside." I muttered under my breath. It was late and I was generally confused as to why Hazel would ask for me at this time of day.
"That them?" He asked and I responded with a smile.
"Yeah. I guess, um, if you wanted to meet them?" I spoke awkwardly, and my statement turned into a question in the process.
"Sure, if that's okay with you." He smiled and I nodded, then proceeded to get out of the car.
I saw my sister eye me from a distance, wiggling her eyebrows at me, but I returned it with a glare. Hazel on the other hand, had a frown on her face — but that was only after she saw Harry.
"Auntie Cece!" She ran up to me and I picked her up, her legs tightening around my waist. She was seven, but was tinier than how she should be for her age — it was from the treatments. No matter what though, I'd always give her a feeling that life is still amazing, and that soon, she'll walk around, completely free and healthy in this world.
"My little Hazelnut, whatcha doing up so late?" I said, stroking her head from behind. She pulled slightly back from me and looked directly into my eyes, noticing some sadness filling in the gaps.
"I missed you." She showed a sad smile.
"I missed you too." I flashed a grin towards her, tickling her side, causing her to squirm a bit, before I put her down.
"So, um, this is Harry. He's my..." I looked at him, who had a genuine smile on his face. "...friend."
"Hi, I'm Harry." He introduced himself.
"Harry, this is my older sister Josephine —"
"You can call me Josie." She added in, extending an arm to my friend, Harry. He immediately accepted her physical greeting.
"— And this is her daughter, Hazel." I noticed that she had her arms crossed, standing her ground. I knew that she was protective over me, but she's never acted this stern to someone before. I pushed her lightly to do the same gesture as her mother, which she finally did, after I whispered her name again.
"Hi." She said, with no emotion behind her simple word. He greeted her too, shaking her hand. As soon as he pulled away, my niece spoke up again. "I don't like you."
"Hazel." Josie and I scolded at the same time. Harry looked at her, at us, then back at my niece.
"I'm sorry about —"
"No, it's okay." He smiled, then crouched down to her level. "Why don't you like me, Hazel?"
"I don't like my aunt's friends — well, she only has one." She said, crossing her arms again. Harry simply chuckled at her response. My niece just outed my lack of friends in the world, wonderful.
"Well, now she has two." His voice was kind. "But you you want to know something?"
"What?" She said.
"Your aunt told me how much she loves you."
"She did?" Her tone perked up and her eyes grew bigger. I could see a small smile forming, causing one to grow on my lips as well.
"Absolutely. You're her favourite niece."
"That's because I'm her only niece." A tiny laugh left her mouth from his words — the same ones I tell her.
"You're still her favourite." He smiled widely at her sweet reply. His dimples were deep and his eyes sparkled. It was at that moment that I noticed how pure he was around children. He had a gift and he shared it beautifully.
"You know what?"
"What?"
"I kind of like you." She smiled wider. "But if you hurt my Aunt, I'll make sure you get hurt too. So don't try anything."
Josie and I bit our lips at the adorable threat she warned him.
"Don't worry..." He trailed off, looking up at me, with a smile. Keeping his gaze on me, he responded. "...I'd never hurt her."
"Good." She nodded and Harry stood from his crouched position.
"Well, it's late and I should get going."
"Josie, Hazel, I'll meet you inside." I said and they obliged after some eye glaring against one another.
"It was nice meeting you Harry. Hopefully we'll see you around another time." Josie grinned.
"You as well and you might." He replied and waved goodbye to Hazel, who seemed like she was warming up to him. That was a good thing — I'm sure it was.
"Sorry about my family." I laughed, scratching my arm in nervousness.
"That's alright. It's clear that they love you a lot." He said and I smiled, nodding.
"Thank you again for the ride. You really didn't have to."
"I wasn't going to let you take a cab in these late hours and I wanted to." He paused, seeming unsure of what else to say. "So, I'll see you again?"
"Of course." I smiled. "Hopefully I'll be able to figure out who stole my car — or just where it is. There's always those cars parked alongside the 435."
"You'll find it." He mimicked my expression, pausing for a moment before he spoke again. "If you don't, I'll have to pick you up."
I could feel my cheeks burning up at what he was saying. This was real; yet I felt like I was dreaming — or on cloud nine. I wasn't too sure what to reply to that, so I just stayed silent. I showed a kind look on my face; it was something to say what I truly meant — a thank you, shyness, and an agreement all rolled together.
He didn't say anything else as he walked back to his car and got inside. Just before I was about to turn away, I heard his window roll down and my name being called.
"Céline." His head was ducked under a bit so I could see him better. "You look beautiful tonight."
The words came out of his mouth and butterflies immediately erupted in my stomach. My heart was racing, after skipping a beat. I wanted to thank him, but he drove off before I could say anything. The only thing I could see was the back of his shiny black vehicle, driving away into the silent streets of Kansas City.
I am beautiful.
..
A/N:
Who found Harry's texts cute? Because I did.
And...Harry finally met Josie and Hazel...even as a writer, I'm crazy about that.
What's your favourite part of the chapter? Tell me! Tell me!
Oh, Harry's telling you that you should vote. It'll make him smile.
Much love!
S x