I'm so happy, my bae came back today
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"I love you Sean"
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I was sat on the phone to Sean for hours, we laughed, we cried, we went through all the emotions. I was alone down there, and when I was on the phone to him, all the fear of Nathan disappeared. The phone call had to end at some point though.
I walked along the dark halls as silently as I could, looking out for any sign that Nathan might be there. I sniffed as I walked, not crying but feeling as if I could. I just wished thing were simple, things would be so much easier.
I got to the top floor and I walked along it, coming to my door. I sighed deep and almost screamed when I saw Nathan sat outside the door. I backed myself up to the wall opposite, holding my hand to my mouth I watched as he got up.
"Hello Brooke" He said quietly
I looked around for anyway of escape, he walked right up to me. Leaning down so his nose was beside me. My breath was sharp and rough as he stood so close to me, I wanted to run away but I knew that I couldn't. He chuckled quietly to himself and ran his index finger along my jaw line. I flinched away but he just held my face.
"You want to know why I'm here?" He moved his face so his lips brushed against mine as he spoke
I jerked my head to get out of his grip, he was scaring me and he knew it. He laughed once more and moved himself to my neck, where he left short kisses down the side of it "You know what I did"
I couldn't speak, there was so much fear running through me. He spoke again "You remember what you promised me?"
I swallowed hard and found my voice "That was before I found out you had a girlfriend"
"I still have urges" He looked up at me
I shoved him off me "I should never have trusted you"
He sighed loudly "Look Brooke, I really like you, that is not a lie, or a trick...That is the complete honest truth...You and I both know I'm not getting out of here any time soon, what's the point of even having her out there, when I have something much better in here"
He took hold of my hips and tried to pull me towards him, I slapped his hands away "No, I won't be a second option"
"Brooke" He groaned
"No" I said defiantly
He looked at me, sighing loudly he said "Your not my second option Brooke Willows"
I sighed in annoyance "Don't start with that again"
"Brooke Willows--"
I groaned loudly, but he carried on anyway "You never were a second option, I honestly hated you when you first got in here, I couldn't understand why you weren't falling to my feet"
"Because I hated you" I said matter of factly
"I know that, but now you were mine for just over a month, and that month was the best month since Gemma left"
"Jhee, thanks" I looked away and crossed my arms over my chest
"I used to love her, I used to love her more than anything...I still loved her when you came in, but you changed my mind Brooke, you made me question my love for her, you made me fall for you" He took my arms In his hands and he tried to look at me
"Is this supposed to make me want something to do with you again?"
He sighed "I'm no good at speeches, this was supposed to make you change your mind"
I pushed him away from me "Well it hasn't and it won't...I won't change my mind, Nathan, you of all people should know this"
He looked down and his hands slipped off my arms "You were making me feel better Brooke"
I slipped past him and put my hand on the handle to my room "Nothing will change this Nathan, Trust takes months to build...But mere seconds to destroy"
"How can I get you to trust me again?" He whispered
I pushed the handle down and opened the door before answering him "You can't"
I walked I to my room them and shut the door, resting my forehead on the wood and sighing deep. I listen to his footsteps fading down the hallway. I pulled myself together and walked over to my bed, sitting on the edge I put my face in my hands.
"Where have you been all night?" Ayesha's voice suddenly called through the quiet.
I jumped at her sudden voice "Jesus Christ Ally, I thought you were asleep"
"Where have you been? Everyone has heard what happened"
"They have?" I whispered, my heart sinking
"Mhm, did you really bite him?" She questioned
I chuckled "Yeah, he wouldn't let me go"
Ayesha laughed now "Maybe you do belong in here"
"Maybe" I spaced out slightly
I could hear Ayesha talking but I wasn't focused on what she was saying. All I could think about was how he had betrayed the trust that he had built up. I had relayed on him to get me through this place, and now he had broken me even more. I may not show , y e, options physically but mentally this would take a tole one me, this would break me.
"Brooke?" Ayesha waved her hand in front of my face
I blinked and shook my head, looking up to see her stood in front of me, she smiled "You okay?"
I shrugged "Yeah, why?"
"You just broke up with your boyfriend"
"He never really was my boyfriend" I whispered
She sat on my bed beside me "What happened?"
" What have you heard?"
She sighed "His girlfriend was in, you saw, you ran, he found you, you and him argued, he pinned you up a wall, you bit him, you ran"
I nodded "Sounds about right"
"And you're...Not upset by this?"
I shrugged "Yes, I think I am anyway"
"What do you mean, you think you are?"
"I don't have emotions, I'm either just Brooke, or I'm suicidal...On or the other"
"You haven't..." Ayesha trailed off but I knew what she was asking
"Once" I looked down at my lap "After my dad died"
"Oh Brooke, I'm so sorry" She wrapped her arms around me
I nodded "Sean made it better though, when he came along...He made me Brooke again, he made me feel better than I did"
"Where did you go? When you ran from him"
"I went to the phones, it was the only place I could think he wouldn't find me. I thought he would hurt me if he found me" I shrugged
"You rang Sean didn't you?"
I sighed deep and nodded, I had no-one else to call. I still want exactly on talking terms with my mum after her putting me in this place. I just wanted to hear him talk to me again, when I said to Nathan that he had cheated on me, I was lying. I had wrote a letter to Sean, telling him how I loved him yet I didn't want him wasting his life waiting for me to get out of here. I loved him too much to let him do that, I wanted him to be happy more than anything. He had done so much for my the past few years I wanted to repay the favour somehow. The thought of him wasting his life waiting for me to be normal again, was enough to nearly send me over the edge.
"I wanted to talk to him" I whispered
She nodded and rest her head on my shoulder "it'll get better, I promise"
I nodded and shoved her head off me, smiling slightly "Are you feeling happy or sad...Mumma?"
She laughed and rest her hand over her stomach "Weird, I have something growing in me"
"A little person" I looked at her stomach "What did Tom say?"
"He's going to help me, but I want you to help too" She looked at me
I nudged her with my elbow "I said I would, didn't I?"
She nodded "I want to ask you something"
"Go for it"
"When you get out of here, which you will...Will you come and see me?"
"Of course I will, you know I will" I smiled at her
She swallowed hard now "And if I'm not allowed to keep the baby, you'll take it, you'll look after it?"
"Ayesha, I--"
"Tom's already told me, I won't be able to keep it here, he has no intention of leaving his wife...Brooke, please" She held my hand
"What if I'm not out of here?" I looked at her
"You will be, Tom told me, your mum only wanted you in here for a year...You've got eight months left"
Eight months, I was going to get out. Only a year in this place, I looked at her. She was looking at me with a look of fear on her face, she really was worried for her and her baby. I looked up and bit my lip, looking back at her I nodded "Yeah, Yeah I promise I'll take care if it"
She threw her arms around me and thanked me over and over. I patted her back and she pulled away "Thank you Brooke"
I smiled and nodded as she got up and walked back to her own bed "Night Brooke"
"Goodnight Ayesha" I whispered, before closing my eyes and praying for a dreamless sleep
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OH HOLY JESUS, WHY DOES MY BRAIN DO THIS
I'M NOT 100% HAPPY WITH THIS CHAPTER, BUT AT LEAST I GOT SOMETHING WRITTEN.
I KINDA FEEL BAD FOR BROOKE SOMETIMES, BUT I FELT LITTLE BAD FOR NATH, BUT NOT , MUCH.