PART II : KRISTEN
Calabasas, January 2018
I was still under the family room couch trying to reach for Thomas' milk bottle. The damn thing had to roll to the farthest corner out of my reach.
"Hang in there, honey, Mommy just needs to find a way to..." I grunted. I positioned myself flat on the floor with my right arm hooked inside with the end of the mop. I just need to hit it so it'll roll back out.
Slowly I swerved the end towards me hitting the bottle in the process. Terrific.
"Got it." I said. Then I straightened up to look back at Thomas who was probably patiently waiting for me to get his bottle back.
He wasn't. He wasn't there.
"Thomas?" I put the bottle back on the counter then stood up and looked around. Only Cole and the new pup at the corner was there.
Thomas took his first steps already, still alternating it with crawling but we're getting there. This, was the problem though. You just lose attention for one moment and then he's gone.
"Honey where are you?" I started going around the couch checking if he was behind one. Then I looked to the nearest room to the library just to check, but he wasn't. Then I checked inside the guest powder room, still no sign. I glanced up the stairs wondering if he crawled up while I was busy. So I went to the second floor checking all the rooms. He wasn't there, he wasn't in any of them. I started panicking imagining the worst scenario.
Shit! This is what happens when you sent the Nanny home for a 2 week vacation.
"Thomas! Thomas where are you?!" I called out louder this time. I kept looking around until I heard him call out Mommy.
My heart leaped and I started running down the stairs. It was coming from the kitchen. The dogs were already there when I came. He was outside.
"Thomas! Oh God not again!" I exclaimed. I should have told Nick about the dog flap. It was starting to be a nuisance.
"Coco...co!" I hear him now. I unlocked the door expecting my son crawling around the deck.
The sight that greeted me was so unexpected I actually faltered and had to hold on to the door frame.
"Rob?" I started.
There he was, standing right there on my sun deck. Windblown hair, hoodie down with my son in his arms.
"Hey..." He greeted, smiling sheepishly. "I found your baby." he continued.
"Mom mi!" Thomas shouted reaching out his chubby arms to me.
I reached for him and hugged him to me to calm myself. He's okay, that's great, but my heart was still beating fast in my chest.
I took additional deep breaths, positioned the baby in my arms and faced the one person who until now still has the ability to shake me to the core.
"What are you doing here?" I started. God this is awkward. I didn't know he was coming!
"Katy said to meet here..." He explained.
It dawned on me that he already accepted the part on Katy's video.
"Oh...so it's a go. That's good" I answered. I was still fishing for the right words. It was difficult if your heart rate still refuses to go down. "Come in. You can wait for her here" I lead him to the family area and slowly lowered Thomas in his play pen.
Katy called earlier and told me that she was coming over about the video. I was busy then so I just agreed with everything she said, I didn't catch anything important. I also didn't hear her mention Rob's name, if she did, I'm pretty sure I would've caught it.
I remember that I already told her that I would willingly back out so she can still have Rob, I wonder who they picked to replace, and why the hell did she have to do it here.
I also remembered I hadn't showered or fixed myself. I ran my fingers through the strands of my long hair just to make sure I didn't look like crap.
Since when did I start caring so much, this was Rob. I can look like crap and Rob would not mind. Maybe that's why he felt undervalued...I should've cared more.
"He's growing up so fast" He said. I looked over at him situated at the nearby couch. He was observing Thomas. It wasn't as If he has never seen him before. Nick told me that he came when I gave birth, he didn't see me, but he did get to see the baby.
"I know" I smiled. Nothing calms me more than the motherly pride that comes up every time I talk about him.
I turned to Rob while I sat across him. "So how are you?" I asked. It has been a year or more already since the last time he and I talked. It wasn't even a pleasant memory.
"I'm okay, you?" He asked back.
"Well...I'm a busy mom now." I admitted. "No projects for me until he stops...umm...breastfeeding." I felt my cheeks go up in flames. I can't believe I have to mention that.
I glanced up and noticed he was looking at my chest now. I cleared my throat and he casually looked down and around.
"Sorry....TMI" i said.
He smiled. "It's okay. I knew you were gonna be a wonderful mother...it's no surprise" He continued then looked to Thomas again.
"Thank you" I said shyly.
"Mimi....Mimi!" Thomas shouted, distracting both of us. He stood up and shook his play pen indicating he wants out. Then the phone rang.
"Mimi!...Mom mi!" He screamed this time when he saw me walking towards the phone instead.
I picked it up. It was Nick
"Hey Kris. How are you holding up?" He was calling from New York. He was there for a show and I just told him that I was alone at home with Thomas.
"We're okay. He 's just a little cranky" I sighed. God, I missed Nick. Especially now, I need someone to hold on to. Rob's sudden presence is taking a toll on me.
"It's normal. Just make sure you have somebody over with you so you could get some rest." His usual protectiveness was always a welcome respite. I smiled to the phone.
"Do you want to talk to him?" I asked. Thomas, or Tommy as he is fond of calling his son, gets a kick out of blabbing on the phone.
"Yes please" I can already hear him laughing on the other line.
I was surprised that Thomas stopped screaming, when I turned to them he was comfortably situated on Rob's lap.
He just needs to stop holding her kid, it's giving her butterflies in her stomach.
"Thomas! It's daddy." I said. The Baby looked up and started bouncing on Rob's lap.
"Dada!" He shouted and laughed while clapping his hands. I hand over the phone, he of course knows where it goes already.
"Hewo..." He mumbled to the mouthpiece. He climbed down from Rob's lap and started balancing back to the corner table. He was baby talking the entire time.
I laughed and sat back to my chair observing his very serious conversation with his dad. Rob laughed too, we looked at each other.
There's just so many words left unsaid.
There's just so much pain between us that moments like these are too awkward already. I grimaced, remembering our last meet-up. I always do. It still is so fresh sometimes.
"He sounds serious" Rob pointed out.
"He seems to be...Nick makes sure to keep in touch with him even if he's away most of the time lately" I explained to him.
There are some things he doesn't need to know about Nick and me. I chose to remain quiet about it for now. He probably knows we broke up already, the news of the broken engagement was all over the media. What they don't know is, there never was an engagement.
Thomas toddled back to me still clutching the wireless phone to his ear. "Dada.." He said and handed the phone back.
"Nick are you still there?" I checked.
"Kristen, who was that?...I heard a guy's voice." Nick sounded worried. He is most of the time, especially if he's away.
"Ummm...it's just Robert. He and Katy are meeting up here about the video i told you about" I hurriedly explained.
"Oh...Are you okay?" He asked. He knows me so much already it scares me sometimes.
"Hmm...yeah" I looked to Robert careful not to betray any concern.
"Okay. Call me if you need me. I'll try to get an early flight tomorrow" He said. I doubled back when I heard what he said.
"What? No. No there's no need. We're fine. Don't worry I'll call you. Just concentrate on the show" I tried to dissuade him. Sometimes the lengths he'd go to for me warms me to my toes, giving everything up even potential award winning movies just be there for me and Thomas when we needed him the most.
"Okay. I'll call again later. .." He said. "I love you." He added before ending the call. I sighed. He doesn't wait for my response anymore. He doesn't want to hear it.
I looked over to Rob who was observing me carefully, he glanced down to Thomas who was busy stacking blocks on the carpeted floor. He was smiling.
"Do you want something to eat? I'll go get some cookies at the kitchen" I stood up, glad of the small reprieve.
Suddenly the door bell rang. Instead of the kitchen, I went straight to the foyer.
It was Katy as expected.
"Kristen Honey! Is Rob here already?" She said in between hugging and kissing me.
"Yes" I glared, sending a clear signal that I know what she's up to.
She laughed. "That's awesome!" She pretended to not understand my message and continued to the family room at the back.
"Hello Robert! Have you met your son already?" She announced.
"KATTTTTTYYYYYY!!!" I screamed.