When I got home that night, I expected my father to greet us with a slap to our faces but instead he was too high to even look at us. Four perfect lines of cocaine were neatly placed on the surface of the coffee table.
My mother looked at him with disgust.
"I sometimes don't know why I even married the bastard." She grumbled as she walked into the kitchen.
"Mom? I thought you said you would stop drinking?" I asked as I followed her into the kitchen. She stopped in front of the fridge and looked at me. She was tired and annoyed, but that was no excuse for the promise she made to me at the beach.
"Jimin, go upstairs to your room." She said, opening the fridge.
"But mom....didn't you promise not to drink? Please don't-"
"Look you little fucker I need this!" she hissed as she held up the cold beer bottle. "If it weren't for you and your fucking father I would have been living in a rich home with everything I've ever wanted." She spat.
I felt tears threatening to escape but I held them down. "But mom...you promised..."
"I didn't say shit." She said, taking a swing of her drink. "Now get the fuck out of my sight. I'm going to bed." She slurred.
But you promised...
I ran upstairs and slammed my door as the tears already came flowing down my cheeks. I should have known she would have played the pity act. I couldn't believe I was dumb enough to believe her. She was never going to find her way and even if she did, where would she go? Nowhere, that's where.
Stupid. Fucking. Whore.
I tried so hard not to sob out loud, that's how hurt I was. The pain from the inside was killing me, and at that moment, the old feeling in my veins returned. I tried to ignore it as best as I could but it was too overwhelming. I ran to the side of my bed and looked under to find what I needed for that pain. There I found my box of razors and I quickly grabbed the box and took one clean razor out.
It smiled at me and I smiled back as I gently placed it on my bed side and took off all my clothes. I haven't cut myself in two weeks so that meant it would hurt twice as much, but not as much as the pain of living here.
Or the pain of living at all
I sat on my bed and looked to see where I would start marking my body. There were a few good spots left, some were too dangerous for me to cut, but then again would anyone care if I died?
Jungkook would...
I looked down to my legs and found a nice spot on the side of my thighs. I knew wearing pants for the next few days would hurt like a bitch, but I didn't care.
----
I got up early the next morning and made it to work just in time. There was a lot of old people waiting. Some were there to get more medicine while others were waiting on the doctors. As soon as I approached the receptionist desk, Minhyuk greeted me with a stupid smile.
I was still mad at him for getting me in trouble and nothing he could do nor say would ever change anything. I sat down next to him and flipped on the computer. I felt Minhyuk's eyes on me but I didn't care. I didn't want to look at him nor talk to him.
"Damn...what happened to your face?" he asked.
I ignored his question and checked my list of appointments. I felt his eyes on me.
That fucker.
"Did your dad do that to you? That's a bit harsh. I didn't think he would take it that far, but oh well-"
"Minhyuk, shut the fuck up!" I hissed. His eyes widened a bit but I wasn't finished. He started this and I was going to finish it. "It's your fucking fault I got in trouble for nothing! NOTHING! You're a fucking jealous slut and I hope you drown in the darkest pits of hell, along with the rest of this fucking world!" I yelled as the lobby grew quiet to my outburst.
I felt my heartbeat hammer against my chest as Minhyuk sat speechless as his mouth hung slightly open.
"Jimin...I"
"Save it for some who cares." I spat as I ran to the men's room.
It felt so damn good telling Minhyuk off, but I knew karma was a bitch and he would probably come in and start bitching me out. I walked into a bathroom stall and curled up like a ball on the seat. I didn't want go back out because of my outburst and I didn't feel like seeing Minhyuk's face again.
I began to cry, and I felt stupid for crying. As I sat there crying I heard someone walk in. I immediately shut up and covered my mouth, listening to the person.
"Stupid fucking doctors, always saying they know everything. Who the fuck do they think they are?" the voice spoke. They sounded angry. I remained quiet as I continued to listen, that voice sounded familiar. "Fucking whore. I fucking hate her. Now I have to take MORE medicine so I could die even faster!"
Whoever was talking to themselves sounded like they punched the wall. I flinched to the sound and after a few moments of silence, that person walked out of the bathroom.
I slowly emerged from the stall and looked at the door. I could have sworn that person sounded a lot like Jungkook.
Shrugging it off, I looked over to the mirror and saw my eyes were red from crying.
I sighed as I rolled up my sleeves and filled my hands with water. I knew I couldn't stay in the bathroom all day and eventually my boss might come in and yell at me or something.
As I placed my hands over my face, I heard someone walk in. I snapped my heard over to see Minhyuk standing by the doorway and he looked pissed off as hell. His eyes then looked down to my arms, the anger left and in its place were disgust and a hint of amusement.
Time felt like it froze. My secret was out and I knew Minhyuk was going to run his mouth and tell the world.
"Holy shit...you little freak." He said, coming closer to me. I took a step back as my eyes looked down to the ground. I couldn't even look at him, that's how ashamed I was.
"Minhyuk please don't tell anyone...please.." I whimpered.
He took a step closer to me and immediately grabbed my arms.
"I can't believe you're a cutter." He said in a sick tone. Shivers went through my body as I closed my eyes, praying this was just a bad dream.
"Minhyuk...please I'll do anything, just don't tell anyone."
"Not even your boyfriend Jungkook?" he whispered. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. I couldn't believe he was trying to blackmail me.
"Just, DON'T" I hissed darkly. That earned a chuckle from him as his grip on my wrists tightened.
"Oh, you're going to have to work extra hard in keeping me quiet." He said as he leaned his lips closer to my ear. "And I have a lot of things I want you to do that would probably keep my quiet about this." He whispered in a sick tone.
As much as I wanted to spit in his face and run, I didn't want this secret to be let out. It was bad enough this asshole had to find out in the first place.
"Alright...what do you want me to do." I whispered. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
Minhyuk chuckled into my ear as he let go of my wrist and took a step back. " I'll think about what I want you to do, so for now, your safe." He said as he then turned and walked out of the bathroom.
I slid down the wall and sat there, staring at the door. I thought my life sucked, but it had just gotten ten times worse.
Buzz Buzz
My phone began to buzz and as I opened it, it was text message from Jungkook.
Jungkookie:
"Hey Jimin, sorry to text you during work but I won't be coming to school next week. I...I'm really sick. But don't worry about me though :p I'll miss seeing you though. I was worried when you went home, and to be honest I couldn't stop thinking about you and our kiss and...the other thing we did.. I'll let you know when its good to come over but until then, stay well."
No...please don't leave Jungkook...don't leave me to wither alone in my own insanity...