I woke up to the raw smell of cigarettes. My eyes forced themselves open and as they did, I saw my mother laying on the edge of my bed, watching me as she smoked.
"Rise and shine." She cooed.
Why are you here...go away...
"W-what time is it?" I asked, my voice sounded horrible.
She huffed and sat up straight, the smoke from the cigarette was hurting my eyes. "It's Monday, you missed school." She spat out.
Monday! I've been out cold for two days! Why didn't anyone do something!
"Why didn't you wake me up, I could have been dead." I hissed.
"Please, if you were dead this would have been a different situation." She sighed. "Look, I'm not going to get mad about you missing school, but if I were you, I'd leave and wait a few hours to return home. I won't tell your father this happened. I'm in a good mood today so don't fucking ruin it." she snarled.
I let out a painful grunt as I forced myself off the ground. My mother did nothing but watch with little amusement. I walked over to the small mirror in my bathroom and nearly jumped out of my skin.
I looked like a mess.
My face was slightly swollen and there was a clear hand print on the left side of my cheek. I knew I had bruises everywhere, but I wasn't going to lift up my sleeve and show my mother my cuts.
"I'm going to hang out with Jisoo today, at the beach." I said, pouring water all over my face.
"That Satanist bitch?" my mother asked. I shot her a dirty look.
"She's not a Satanist, she's Gothic, big difference" I spat. My mother smiled as she reached into her breasts and pulled out my phone.
"So...who's Jungkook?" she asked, flipping through my phone. My body moved faster than my mind as I snatched the phone out of her hand and looked at it. I had six text messages, three from Jungkook, two from Jisoo, and one from an unknown number.
"He's just a friend" I replied.
"Really? He's not the one you've been slacking off with in the bathrooms at work?" she asked. I didn't have to guess where she found that out.
"No, he's just a friend." I repeated.
My mother didn't look all too satisfied with my answer, but she shrugged her shoulders and got off my bed. "Very well then, I'll just be home all day, doing nothing." She said in a dramatic tone.
I wasn't surprised. She never did anything on Monday's except watch TV and read magazines. She doesn't even cook anymore. I wish I had my old mother back, the one who used to read me a story before bed time, the one I can share all my secrets too.
The one I used to love.
"Mom...why do you hate me?" I asked. My chest swelled up with self-pity again, but I didn't want to cry.
She looked at me with the strangest look I've ever seen. It was like I had just asked her a difficult question as her eyes narrowed and her lips quivered. She really looked like she wanted to answer it. "I...don't hate you Jimin. I just...fuck, I don't know! Don't ask me fucking questions that can give me a headache!" she snapped.
"Its dad isn't it? You hate me because of dad. You're too afraid to stand up to him, and when you do, you're fucking drunk and belligerent." I yelled.
Her eyes widened to my outburst. She then raised her hand, wanting to hit me, but she stopped. I was waiting for the beating but I didn't get one. Her hand was still up in the air, but her eyes were down to the floor. "You're right, I am afraid. But I don't hate you Jimin...I'm just lost right now. I think I need a drink." She said softly.
Anger, pure enraged anger boiled within me at that moment. "I hate you!" I snapped. She shot her head up, surprised at my outburst, but I wasn't finished. "I hate you so much, you and dad. Look at me LOOK AT ME!!!" I screamed.
"I am looking at you, but all I see is a maniac screaming in my face." She retorted.
"LOOK WHAT YOUR HUSBAND DID TO ME!!" I screamed harder, my voice was leaving me as hot tears streamed down my cheeks. "I want my mother, I want her back!"
"What the hell are you talking about? I am your mother!" she yelled. She was oblivious to what I was really trying to say.
"No...all I see is hollow shell of a human being." I hissed.
SLAP
Her small cold hand connected to my cheek. It stung a bit, but it wasn't as bad as when my father would hit me. At that moment I didn't care about anything anymore as I grabbed my mother and shoved her aside. She let out a yell and fell to the ground.
"You ungrateful little faggot!" she screamed. I ran out of my room and down the stairs. She was following behind, screaming profanities and throwing stuff at me. "Leave! Go! I don't give a fuck anymore! I should have had that fucking abortion! I knew I should have had it!" she yelled.
I spun around and screamed back into her face. "Why didn't you! You stupid whore! Just go back to the streets where you belong!" I couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth.
"What did you say to me?' she said in a hollowed tone.
I stared at her some more. She disgusted me so much that I'd rather die ten times over than even look at her again. Without another word I walked outside and slammed the door behind me.
As I walked away from that hell, I could have sworn I heard my mother crying.
----
I texted Jisoo and Jungkook, and told them both to meet me at the boardwalk after school. I got there pretty early and sat down on the warm sand. The ocean breeze was comforting and it reminded me of Jungkook's room.
I checked my messages as I waited. Jungkook's messages were simply asking how I was doing and that he was worried about me. Jisoo's messages mainly consisted of angry faces and why didn't I pick up the phone. The last message was from an unknown number. That part confused me abit. I didn't remember giving out my number to anyone else.
I clicked on the message and read it.
Unknown:
"Hey Jimin, this is Taehyung. I don't like you and I probably never will, so here's a warning, stay away from Jungkook You don't deserve him."
I blinked a few times, unsure if I had actually just been threatened by Taehyung to stay away from Jungkook. How the hell did he even get my number?
"Jimin!!!" Jisoo yelled. I turned around and was instantly hugged but her. "Jimin! I was soo worried about you!! What happened!!" she asked, hugging me tighter. My body still ached from the beating on Saturday.
I was nearly beaten to death...that's what happened.
"I was busy..." I replied.
"Yeah, but you still gave us a scare." I heard Jungkook's voice. I looked past Jisoo and saw Jungkook walking behind. He was carrying his shoes in one hand and his backpack was hoisted over his other shoulder. "I was worried about you Jimin." He said smiling.
I didn't know what came over me at that moment as my body was sent running towards Jungkook. I wanted nothing more than to be with my prince charming as I wrapped my arms around his neck and embraced him with a deep kiss. His lips against mine felt like magic all over again.
Being around Jungkook made the pain go away.
Being around Jungkook made those suicidal thoughts go away.
Being around Jungkook made everything go away.
"Wow..." I heard Jisoo whisper.
Jungkook and I broke our kiss and stared deeply at each other. His eyes connected with mine, and then suddenly that connection broke as his eyes wandered to the left side of my face.
Horror
Disgust
Shame
That's what his eyes were telling me.
"Jimin...what happened to you?" he asked as his fingers gently caressed my wounded cheek.
What happened to me? What happened? I lived, that's what happened. I'm alive, that's what happened. I'm in love with you, that's what happened.
I felt all those empty feelings rise within me. That bottle of emotions began to crack. I couldn't hold it in anymore, I couldn't hide it, no matter how hard I tried.
"Jimin? What's wrong?" Jisoo asked.
Everything...everything is wrong.
That bottle of emotions exploded within me as I finally broke down and told them everything.