TALIA
"Where are we going," I asked as soon as we were in the car.
"Home," he replied and my heart throbbed hearing his answer, "You're t-taking me b-back?" I asked a horror look coated my eyes.
He looked at me for a second then back to the road a frown placed on his face, his hand directly held mine intertwining our fingers,
"Baby what's wrong?" he asked his voice sounding concerned and worried. The new nickname made me happy but the idea of him taking me back to him wasn't allowing my mind to feel his hand and the soft voice of his.
"Why are you taking me back? I thought you said you'll never leave me," I said again without covering the fear and worry in my voice. To my surprise, he parked the car on the edge of the street enough to let the other cars drive. I gasped at the sudden break he did, I looked at him, mixed emotions were filling his eyes: fear, anger, worry but the one I was glad of was his love look for me, the look I'll never get bored or get used to it.
"Where do you think I'm taking you?" he asked, his anger increasing with every second.
"B-back t-" I couldn't finish a sentence, now no words came out, am I stupid to think he'll take me back?
"Answer me!" he replied, the shock of his strong voice effecting me.
"To him," I answered looking down at my stretched legs and shaking hands, I'm very stupid.
"You really think I'll take you back!? After what I've done!!" he shouted his anger energy rolling. "You think I'll hand you to him after what he did to you, to the only girl I love!?" he completed and at this moment I couldn't stop the fear and regret feeling, how could I doubt his love? How did I think like this?!
"Je ne peux pas y croire! Merde!" he shouted again hitting the driving wheel with his fist, it was the last thing he said before driving again, his hands holding the wheel in anger his knuckles white, his eyes closing each second with every deep breath he took trying to calm himself. His hand left mine and I pouted, missing the warmth and the feeling of being safe. Nothing was said, and right now the silence was all we need. On our way back, he stopped twice, first time to get enough water and food so we won't stop again but we had to stop again when I asked if I can go to the bathroom. We arrived in a few hours, he parked his car in front of the house and left without looking back, keeping the door ajar for me to enter.
A gasp left my lips when I entered the house, it was a mess. A complete mess. The furniture was all around the place, glass everywhere, old photos were scratched and thrown on the floor. The horror look came back to my face unable to hold back another gasp when I realised it's Joseph's only house, the one his mum designed with every bar of energy she had.
I looked at Joseph who was standing not moving an inch just looking around trying to find something just a hint to who could do this, and I saw how sad he looks, his eyes filled with hate and anger a bit of sadness and misery filled his deep eyes.
"Don't move!" he said low, very low his voice thick with emotions I never knew he felt. My heart ached for him and I couldn't hold back the sob that escaped my lips when he walked to me, he looked into my eyes while I let my silent tears fall freely. He bent down to hold me when he looked at what I was wearing, a thin open slipper, how could he care for me when he's the one who needs it. I smiled, a sad smile on my face when he carried me to the top where he placed me beside his locked room.
"I'm sorry," I said, another cry left my shaking lips unable to hold my cries back. And all that Joseph did shush me while he opened the door carefully checking if there's anything before letting us in, locking the door again. He wasted no time in going to the board placed in the middle of his wall, I sat on the edge of his bed unable to stop my tears, you should Talia he needs you, be strong for him. I kept telling my self till I stopped crying, allowing me to see clearly how joseph is taking the half of the neckless that I was once able to examine.
He stood in front of me for a second before he bent down and sat on the floor, still taller than me seeing me clearly, he held the neckless towards his heart and sigh,
"Turn," one word was enough to make anyone follow the small order he wanted. I turned, his rough warm hand held my hair, I helped him already knowing what he's doing, I felt the cold metal meet my hot skin.
"No," I said when he locked it allowing me to turn back to his sad expression.
"It'll help me sleep," he said looking at me with pleading eyes.
"I can't, it's too much, I don't deserve this," I said my voice cracking begging me to let my tears free again.
"If there's someone who doesn't deserve something it'll be me, I don't deserve you, Talia," his words anger me waking me up from the dizzy state I'm in, why is he thinking this way.
"Shut the fuck up!!" I said standing up, finding every strength to fight his thick head.
"You don't deserve me?! You??" I completed pointing at the shocked Joseph in front of me. "Joseph you saved me, you saved my life, you never left like everyone did, you sticked around. For God's sake you helped me move on, you healed me, you fixed my broken heart with your love, trust and loyalty. Your hugs and the way you held me every night while I cry increased the hope I once lost. So you're the one who deserves someone else, a better person who'll never get you in trouble, someone you won't have to hold every night because she's scared. Someone who'll give you what you need, not me, not an insecure girl like me," I finished, relieved is what I felt when I still found the surprised expression on his face.
"You look sexy when you're angry," he said more to himself pausing as if thinking about it.
"This is what you got out of all the shit I said?"
"No, of course, no," he said thinking again, "The only thing I got is that I can kiss you again," he completed giving me no time to respond when his hot lips attached to my own, anger, passion and desire all filled the kiss, making it hard for me to think or even remember my own name. Our tongues fought while our lips moved in sync till he won the battle making me give up following his fast kisses. My hand pulling his hair softly whenever he bit my bottom lip.
"Please don't say this again," I said when we parted taking deep breaths to fill our empty lungs with air once again.
"I'm getting addicted, shit," he mumbled looking at me.
"Are you even listening to me?" I asked.
"Sit," he ordered and I obeyed sitting on the bed but clearly Joseph had other plans when he raised me earning a gasp and replaced me on his lap, I smiled resting my head on his chest listening to his fast heartbeats.
"This neckless, it means a lot to me, I'll know you're safe when you wear it, I have one too," he said taking the hidden half for me to see, "My mother, gave birth to a girl, she gave us this neckless, saying it was two halves but it'll be a whole once we combine it, she said and promised we'll never be apart," he said playing with the edge of the neckless.
"Your mother is a complete beauty, how lovely of her," I said imagining her soft features as Tom told me once, completely opposite of mine.
"When she died, our once happy family disappeared, dad starts taking drugs and drink unable to stand the fact that his beautiful wife died, it was painful to place your dad every night on the bed because he can't carry his own body. When his money started decreasing he took money from people, with the excuse that he has two children, need to be fed and educated. We never saw good food at home, neither the education both me and my sister needed. We grew up having each other's back both protecting each other and holding the other at night. Marks of his rough hand and leather belt never left my body, neither his terrible words about mom and my sister. He actually never talk to her, said she looks like her wanting nothing to do with her. Until the day he lost so much money in drugs and had to pay back, the payment wasn't money Talia,"
I was listening with again silent cries, a pound of tears left on his shirt. The way he talked gave me shivers how his eyes filled with rage and pain. My heart throbbed at every word he said, I wasn't ready for this, I never thought he'll open up soon. I placed my cold hand on his warm face bending his head down for our eyes to meet. A proud expression lit my face mixed with the sadness he had, I'll never feel pity for him, it wasn't the right feeling anyways.
"He wanted her, my only sister, the only family left. I never saw him as a dad, the title didn't fit him. He wanted her and I couldn't let him take her. If he did, he'll trade her to a man, or men, who'd treat her like a property, they'll rape her and destroy her innocence and her pure heart. I couldn't let him do it, to his own fucking daughter."
At this point, while he's talking my mind went back to my own mother who sold her own and only daughter to someone she dated, my tears now were for the both of us, I couldn't cry for myself only, for me and him and his sister.
"I- I wished I had you back then, when m-my own mother did it, s-she did it, I c-couldn't d-do anything, she said she's going to get something, y-your sister she at least had y-you," I said some word unclear with my cracking voice.
"It's fine baby, don't cry, Please," he said and I couldn't obey this time but placed one hand on his stomach while the other one on his back drawing circles trying to comfort him.
"What I did, will never be an excuse. The one who was supposed to teach me about life, and educate me and tell me about the first kiss, first prom, first everything was found dead in our own kitchen, on the black tiled floor. Guess who killed him, Talia, guess baby," he said a bitter smile on his face a one I never saw use.
"It w-wasn't you," I said shaking my head.
"But it was, it's me who killed him, my own father," he said a deep dangerous chuckle left his lips allowing me to gasp at the sudden news I was receiving.
"No!" I said shaking my head quickly.
"It's me, Talia, I'm the one who killed him a twelve years old killed his father on seven September on one cold night baby. It's me the monster everyone talked about, the one who saved his sister by killing his father!" he said, furious shouting letting the information get into my closed head.
"You didn't!" I shouted back now standing in one of the corners looking at him with fear, horror and disbelief.
"That's why I don't deserve you Talia, a purely innocent and genuine girl like you. On the other hand, I'm a monster, a beast, a murder."
"NO!!" I was shouting the only word over and over hysterically.
"YES. YES, Talia, get that into your head!" he shouted back.
Minutes of pure silence, me sitting in one of the corners while he's on the edge of the bed.
"If dad didn't do anything, God did," he spoke again, making me eager to hear the rest of the story.
I would never judge him, he did what he did to save his only sister, his only light. It's not an excuse but it happened. What his dad did to him and his sister was deflected towards him. He built this anger and rage and hate inside of them, Joseph is pure he is, deep inside he's innocent and young. Inside of him is a small child begging God to send him some love and someone to help him in this shitty life.
"Few years of pure happiness with her wasn't enough, God took her, he took her from me. He gave her a painful year full of medicines and pain. Cancer, he gave her the only sickness no one knows how to cure. He took her and left me alone, with my fears and nightmares, no one to hold me at night, no one to tell me that what I did was for her. No one to tell God that I did it for her to help her, he took her because of me!" he said, I wasn't looking at him when he spoke afraid what he'll see in my eyes. When he finished I looked at him, his red eyes crying with fatty tears making me cry even harder. I don't like to see him like this, hurt and full of pain.
"I Love you," I said in a low tune and got up, walking with shaky legs and long steps to throw my shaking body at his strong one. "I love you so much, don't leave me, please," I begged unable to stop the words, my hands tight on his neck holding him to dear life.
"I never will, I can't, I can't leave you even if I want too," he said holding me tighter our bodies attached as one. 'I love you,' phrase was said over and over by both of us. Lips kissing every second with slow, short ones just to make sure we're here, together. Not leaving each other not now, not ever.
"I guess God loves me after all," was all he said when we both slept on the same pillow not one inch apart afraid to be separated.
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I guess I'm doing well now. Thank you again for reading can't believe I'm writing this chapter lol!
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