Jahseh
We were finally back home from tour and I was relieved. It's been three weeks since I've heard from Satin and I was pretty pissed about it. I knew she was alright. I had Coolie updating me on her. He would tell me if he saw any apparent changes like her car moved or lights on and off. She was ok. She just wasn't talking to me.
It was 2:45 on a Monday and I was curious as to why her car was here. She doesn't get out of school until 3:50. I just knew she wasn't skipping again.
" What the hell is she doing home bruh? " Ski mumbled to himself as he sat his suitcase down. I did the same and followed him towards her room. Before I made it in her room good I could see her looking at us through the crack of her closet as if she was hiding or something. When she saw it was us she cracked it open and stepped out. Her hand was behind her back as she inched towards her dresser.
" What the fuck are you doing home this early Stainz? Have you even been to school since we left? Yo if you got truancy I swear to Go- Is that a gun? " he asked her seeing her try to slip it into her drawer undetected. She didn't say anything, just looked at us bored. She shrugged her shoulders as she sat on on her bed with a bothered expression on her face. She wouldn't really look at us which was scary especially for me. She loved looking at my hideous ass. You would think after three weeks she would be a little happy to see the only people she knew.
" What do you have a gun for Satin? " I asked already knowing that's what it was. I'm just realizing I haven't heard her voice since the tour started and I missed it like crazy. She didn't say anything so Ski did after looking around her room.
" Yo did you kill somebody?! " Ski asked pointing at a small drop of dried up blood on her floor. He started to panic like a dumbass while me and Satin looked at him as such. I knew she didn't kill anybody but I did wonder where the blood came from.
As Ski was rambling about her murdering somebody I was stooped down on the floor examining the blood. It was hers. I could tell from how dark it was. The same dark red hue I remember from when we did our blood bond. I was so amazed at how deep her blood was being that I had never seen any that rich before. I looked up at her as she watched me with duller eyes than usual. My face hardened before I grabbed the front of Ski's shirt to stop him from pacing back and forth.
" Did somebody do something to you? " I asked her making Ski look at me confused. She just stared at me for a while before dropping her head and breathing out lowly. I nodded my head slowly with my tongue stabbing my cheek. I turned to walk out gesturing for Ski to follow me. We headed down to the studio and I sat on the panels with my arms folded and my eyes down.
" Somebody did something to her while we were gone and I wanna know who. " I said pissed. I knew we should've brought her along but then again I didn't know something would happen to her while we were gone. It was burning me up knowing that her protectors weren't here to do that.
" Did she say that? " Ski asked stupidly. I felt my soul about to slap him. I didn't think she had to say it, her body language said it all.
" Nigga she was hiding in the closet with a gun when we came in. That was her blood on the floor and we ain't heard from her since the beginning of the fucking tour! " I said getting even more upset. It was so crazy because the whole time we were away I could feel that something was wrong but I tried to ignore it for the sake of the shows and just for the simple fact that I was probably just paranoid.
" I don't know. If something happened to her she would tell us. " Ski said nervously as if he didn't want to hear that anything bad happened to his little sister. I wouldn't want to either but if something did he should know.
" Go talk to her. Right now! Because I'm raging and I wanna know what the fuck happened to her! " I said shaking my head with my eyes closed tight. All the bad scenarios of what could've happened to her were circling my mind and I was losing it. I thought of Geneva possibly hurting her. I thought of her mom or even Céance. Everyone was questionable and I wouldn't put it past anybody.
Satin
" Yea? " I said lowly pulling at the thread in my bed spread as Ski came into my room looking weird. I could already tell he was coming to ask what was wrong with me. It was actually funny seeing him try to seem caring and like a loving big brother when he wasn't, which I didn't hold him too much accountable for. Ski has been put in positions where he had to " protect " me but not anything drastic. I'm sure he didn't really know what to do right now. I know I wasn't acting as my normal self. I couldn't, my mind and body were like the burning neon liquids of a lava lamp at this point. I was all over the place, my emotions were switching between calm and crazy within seconds. My thought process led me to not know if I wanted to kill someone or feel worthless and mope. How about I just do both.
" Are you ok vro? You seem.. different. Did anything happen while we were gone? " he asked shyly plopping down on my bed beside me staring at the floor. I studied his facial expression to see he was worried and a little guilty. I instantly started to feel bad although everything that took place wasn't my fault.
Looking up at Ski made my heart burn differently as I took in the sight of his dark brown eyes that glistened slightly. I bit my lip wondering if I should tell him or just let him think I was just going through something less traumatic.
" Nah. I'm cool. " I lied smoothly nodding my head still looking at the thread gliding through my fingers and I fumbled with it. Ski didn't say anything as his eyes squinted. He probably thought I was lying which I was. I just didn't want to tell him. I'm not used to telling him my problems nor did I like to. Ski was known to run his mouth to everyone about other peoples business. Kind of like how you're mom would do after the she whoops you and calls all your family members to tell them. A fucking mess.
" So... wassup with the blood on your floor? " he asked staring down at what I assumed was a stained piece of carpet. I leaned over my bed and looked down at the relatively small patch of smeared blood on my sand colored rug. I easily thought of something to get him out my face.
" I didn't want to tell you but me and Jahseh did a blood bond. " I said purposely not making eye contact to seem sorry about doing so. Although we did, I knew very well that it didn't come from our bond. Ski's eyes got buck at my words as he stumbled for words.
" You and Jah did what?! " he screeched clearly pissed. I didn't know why, it wasn't like either of us had AIDS or something. He was doing the absolute most and I didn't have the energy for it.
" Ok Stokeley, what's done is done. No need to act a fool about it. Can you leave now? I'm about to change. " I said standing up, walking over to my door. He looked at me in disbelief and left as I asked. I could see him shaking his head as he walked into his room and slammed the door. What the fuck was he so upset for? I shook my head getting rid of my thoughts about his extra ass and got up only to sit back down. Since what happened I haven't really eaten nor did I have an appetite. I'm sure you could tell I was stressed about something just from my appearance. My eyes were slightly sunken in, my pores were as big as golf balls, small wrinkles were starting to grace my forehead and I just overall looked like trash. It was what I felt like so it was very fitting.
I pulled my hood over my head and pulled the strings tight tying them behind my head so only my eyes could be seen. I fell back into my bed and blew into the fabric of my hoodie. I started to close my eyes and open then slowly, taking in deep breaths trying to clear my mind and be "normal" again.
" What are you doing? " Jah asked in his raspy voice out of nowhere making my eyes shoot open and my skin shake from jumping so hard. He was hovered over my face closely, his nose nearly touching mine. I pushed him back softly and sat up just staring at him. He looked so good with his freshly shaved face and sharp hairline. Did he groom and shit before coming home? I smiled slightly although he couldn't see because my mouth was covered.
" What are you doing? " I asked, my muffled laugh caused him to laugh goofily. His laughter was music to my ears but stopped abruptly when he grabbed my face and untied my hood in one swift motion, loosening it and pulling it off my head at once.
" Why weren't you answering our calls? " he asked in a low tone as he climbed into my bed beside me. He pulled me on top of him and I immediately started to tense up as he rubbed down from my neck to my back and up my neck again. I started to straddle him with my hands slightly pressed against his stomach as it rose and fell. I shrugged my shoulders shaking my head trying my hardest not tell him about my assault. I really thought it would be easy to bite my tongue about it but this was eating me up inside. Now that Jahseh was back with him being so sexually and hands on, everything he was doing reminded me of three weeks ago.
He lifted a brow at my gesture and grabbed me by my throat, not aggressively but very firm, and pulled my face down to his. " You don't know why? "
I shook my head no and he pressed his lips against mine, kissing me roughly. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I shared the kiss with him. I was enjoying it but then again I wasn't. He felt a tear fall on his face and drew his face away from mine looking over me. I leaned up and removed myself from his lap causing him to sit up as well. He watched me in confusion as I wiped my tears aggressively only for them to fall again. A small sob left my lips making Jah stand up and reach for me. I missed his hands and darted out of my room.
" Satin? " he yelled after me as I swiftly ran out of the house, across the street and into the shallow woods. I could feel small twigs and stick pricking at my feet but they didn't faze me at all.
" Satin! " I could hear Jahseh calling for me so I picked up my speed through the trees and huge fallen branches. Tears still escaped my eyes and the faster they fell, the faster I ran. I occasionally tripped over my feet being caught in the dirt, leaves, and twigs but I kept the same speed. I didn't really know where I was going or what I was doing. I didn't know what I was doing. As that thought ran through my mind I gasped and screeched as I nearly slipped down the steep hill that lead into a busy highway below. I stepped back cautiously holding my chest as I tried to get my breathing under control. I stood there looking down at all the cars and wiped my face with the sleeve of my hoodie. I wrapped myself in my arms and coughed from trying not to cry so hard.
I wanted to tell Jahseh what happened to me so bad but I didn't want him to do anything dangerous. I mean I didn't even know who did this to me. They really fucked me up even more though. I couldn't tell Jah but I had to tell someone or this would drive me crazier than it already has. I was handling it better before the boys came back but I was a wreck now.
I sobbed and sniffled into my hoodie when I felt arms wrap around me tightly. They turned me around and pulled me into their chest and I knew it was Jah from his scent. He always smelled like cigarettes and mint. Just knowing this presence was him made me cry harder to the point I was shaking. I just wanted to tell him but I couldn't bring myself to it.
" Hey calm down. Relax. " he spoke soothingly rubbing my back slow. It didn't help and he picked me up in his arms and I could feel him sit on the ground. The sticks and crispy leaves crackling under him. He held me in his lap and rocked from side to side like I was a baby.
He started to hum melodies into my ear. No words, perhaps just the beat of one of his songs. His voice was so beautiful, it calmed me all the way down after awhile. I was relaxed now as I felt the vibrations leave his throat while I laid on his chest.
" Satin what's wrong? " he asked after seeing my cries subside. I shook my head no and snuggled closer to him. I couldn't say it.
" You gotta tell me what's got you hysterical like this. " he said lowly with his head rested on top of mine. I knew seeing me hurting like this was probably killing him so I opened my mouth to tell him but nothing came out. He waited for me so speak but after getting no response he stood still holding me in his arms and started back towards the house.
" Please tell me. " he begged with a shaky voice. I had my legs wrapped around his waist and my head in the crook of his neck. I took in a sharp breath as I bounced in his arms from him walking and released it. I gathered the strength and courage to tell him as one single hot tear soaked into his skin.
" Rape. " I whispered into his neck and I felt him stop.